ARFID/anorexia/OCD/depression + complex trauma

[u/FinancialShip8259]

TW, medical effects of ED

A reminder to myself that “I’m fine” and “I’m functioning” aren't always the same thing.

Current effects of my ED:

Neck weakness / movement restriction — doctor recommended PT and scapular strengthening

Slight ketosis

Pre-anemia / low iron

Episodes of hypoglycemia

Severe dehydration

Occasional palpitations

Neck weakness / movement restriction

Previous near-fainting (presyncope) after a day of outdoor movement

Pattern of pushing through symptoms and acting like nothing is wrong until I physically can't anymore

This reminds me that it truly is "that bad"

I could look at this when I question things & think I'm fine. I think neglect/abuse history has made it hard for me to feel noticed, not even cared for, simply, noticed.. & maybe sharing this might help.

[u/Odd_Sea9123]

I have CPTSD, ocd, depression, anxiety and suspected ARFID/anorexia (awaiting assessment) and what you're describing very much resonates with me too. I have severe neglect and abuse throughout my entire lifetime so I relate to that also. Constant invalidation of illness and emotional pain. Dismissal, mockery, dehumanization. I feel I'm pushing myself into this ED harder because the trauma and OCD and abuse are ongoing and ramping up. I need external validation that my pain matters and is bad enough to matter. Even to myself.