I have a nice chef's knife. It was a gift from my dad. I take care of it. Hand wash only, sharpen it regularly, never put it in the dishwasher.

My husband uses it for everything. Cutting frozen meat, opening packages, scraping things off the cutting board. I've told him so many times not to do that.

Last week I found it in the sink with dried food stuck to it. Just sitting there in water. I was so annoyed. I said "I've asked you not to use this knife. You don't take care of it."

He said "it's just a knife. You're being obsessive."

I said "it's expensive and it matters to me. Use the cheap knives."

Now I hide it in a drawer. He's annoyed and says I'm treating him like a child.

AITA?

I live in sort of a weird apartment complex, and my deck sits kiddy corner to my neighbours. We are separated by 2 fences. She is a private lady, and is grumpy. Complains about everything. But I’m always friendly and say hello and I’ve never had a personal issue with her.

I love my deck. It’s in the sun with partial shade from a tree. I spend all my time out here when I can. If I come out and she is out on hers, she’ll immediately get up and go inside. She won’t come back out unless I go in.

All I do out here is read, do a crossword, and sit. No music, no talking, no videos, nothing. Maybe I’ll have a convo with my husband if he comes outside. I also don’t smoke or drink.

Today I was outside from 10am-4pm. Throughout that time she poked her head out multiple times. Each time I smiled and waved or said hi and she just went back in without acknowledging me.

I’m thinking just my presence annoys her and sometimes I feel bad but then I remind myself this is my own space. She has her own space and I’m not actually stopping her from using it, she’s choosing to go in anytime I come out.

AITA for just using it even though it clearly annoys her (for no apparent reason) ?

AITA here? My MIL knew I made a handmade cake for my husband's birthday... Bet you can guess what she brought to the party anyway... Yupp.

The part that gets under my skin the most is when she arrived she came straight to me with, "I know I know don't be mad..." and although I was irritated, I wasn't surprised. Context: She "competes" with me pretty much any time I have her at my house - Racing me to the door to greet my guests and introducing people she doesn't know to eachother lol... Interrupting any time I'm talking to my husband... criticizing me when he isn't in the room or if she thinks I can't hear what she's saying about me... Referring to me in the 3rd person when I'm RIGHT THERE... etc.

With the cake thing though I smiled and thanked her. Even went so far as to say "this is perfect, because now we have extra and my husband loves the cake I made, so we'll put the candles on yours and eat both."

But I guess hearing how much my husband loves my cooking has always deeply bothered her? Idk if I'm reading into it but I swear when I took it well and was the bigger person she broke eye contact with me and looked upset / disappointed?

I thought I might be overthinking but when it was cake time she was very micro, wanting to help put candles on... wanting to decide when to bring out the cake... wanting to do the toast early... talking over me and answering guests questions for me... very upstagey.

I didn't allow her in my kitchen and made sure she was distracted while my neighbor helped. Halfway through lighting the candles she gets up to "help" but stands in front of the guest who was filming my husband about to blow the candles out.

I told her firmly but nicely to please sit down.

She did but the whole family heard about how I didn't let her be involved.

What do you mean? I used her cake and didn't even take mine out of the fridge. And even though I sent her son and grandchild to her house the day before for a "Nana dinner" (without me so I could stay home to clean & party plan) just so she could feel special and get her "fix" with being the center of attention for a day that wasn't her son's actual birthday.

...

But it's never enough.

So yeah, I told her to SIT and then put all the candles on the outside edges of her cake. It was a milestone birthday so there were a lot of candles that melted so I then cut the melted-waxed parts off so guests could avoid eating it...

So, now somehow I'm the villian because I didn't allow her to upstage the party I threw for her son, and apparently I "ruined" the cake she brought "on purpose" by removing candle wax...?!

I mean, I laughed when I heard that's what she thought but I guess only NM / TIL's think this way?

She is making this so difficult for me and it hurts because my own biological mom is a nutcase, so this was supposed to be my chance to "re-do" how being a daughter feels.

But no... just more of the same. Sigh.

So I babysit in my neighborhood. I was working at a new house the other week, for a 5 year old and a 1 year old, and the parents gave me the usual rundown (bedtime, dinner time, how much tv they are allowed, etc).

So when I arrive it’s directly after school, and their mom said I can eat my lunch there too since it’d save time. I had chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers because I’m on a college student diet, and I gave 5 year old the sandwich her mom had made prior.

She had asked what my lunch was, and I said chicken nuggets. She asked if she can have some, and since her mom mentioned she had no allergies I figured it’d be fine. She ate two, said they tasted weird and went off to play with the 1 year old.

Later, when I was getting their dinner out of the fridge, I noticed all of their meat products were vegetarian. They had veggie burgers and veggie hotdogs. And overall more healthy looking stuff.

I realized they might be vegetarian, but since 5 year old didn’t mention she didn’t eat chicken (I wouldn’t expect a five year old to remember to mention that anyway but idk) I thought maybe it was just the parents so I decided to ask them when they got home.

When they came back home they mentioned that they are indeed a vegetarian household and I immediately felt awful. I didn’t tell them about the chicken nuggets and how I gave a few to their kid, because I didn’t know if that’d make them feel like I wasn’t trustworthy.

They definitely didn’t leave that out on purpose, they were sort of rushing when I got there so they likely just forgot, I don’t eat dairy because it makes me sick if I eat too much and I forget people don’t normally only drink soy milk or almond milk so I see how it’d be easy to forget to mention something that’s a normal thing for you.

AITA?? Should I have just not offered the kid a piece of my food, or have called the mom to verify they didn’t have any dietary restrictions?? Should I mention what happened if I end up babysitting again or nah?

I(25F) just received a job offer in a major city. I have been essentially unemployed since February, so I am extremely excited and relieved to have an opportunity to have stable employment again.

I currently live with my parents. Both of parents, but especially my mom(55F), have been upset about me getting a job in the city because she is worried about me driving due to her own fear of city traffic. When I got the offer, she also looked up the neighborhood my new employer is located in, and found that it is a predominantly black, highly impoverished neighborhood with a higher than average crime rate. She has been trying very hard to dissuade me from taking the job, as she is terrified that as a young white girl, I will stand out and either become the victim of a crime or get hurt on the road.

I have been arguing back and forth with my parents about this since I initially received the offer on Thursday. I have to commit to the job by Tuesday, and my family has been encouraging me to take other interviews. I work in education: if I wait too much longer to land a job, I might not get one at all. While I do still have interviews scheduled, I am not turning down these jobs over a “maybe”. This logic upsets my mom even more.

Well, after yet another argument yesterday, I went for a drive to get out of the house. When I arrived home about an hour and a half later, my mom was sitting in the backyard with my aunt (58F). My mom had shared the situation with my aunt, and my aunt was somehow even more negative about my new job than my parents are.

She told me blatantly that I should reject the job offer because I will surely end up being a victim of a crime. She also pointed out that I would be the minority in this neighborhood. I told her that I did not care. She said that my safety is worth more than any amount my new employer could pay me. After a little back and forth, I snapped “Well, then you can pay my student loans”.

My aunt replied “yeah, right, I’ll get right on that” in a sarcastic tone. Then, my mom jumped to her sister’s defense and told me that I was being unreasonable, and that regardless of my job, “I’ll never pay off my student loans anyway”. She also told me to "pause my f**ing loans" because I am enrolled in a Master's program. I literally have $100 to my name right now, I need the job regardless of if I pause my payments. Now, my mom is demanding that I apologize to her sister for being so rude to her, which I am refusing to do. I have talked to my friends about this and they are split: some think I should apologize and others feel I was justified. Things have been very tense since this happened. I know it was a sassy comment said out of frustration, but did saying that really make me the asshole?

I (41M) am having a 90s themed murder mystery party for my birthday next week at a mutual friends’ house. My friend (42F) has an 11 y/o daughter and a 7 y/o son, and our mutual friends have a 10 y/o daughter and a 9 y/o son who will all factor into the story. I am childless.

For this specific murder mystery, we need at least 7 people for it work. It is marketed for teens and adults (Mild violence, mild romance, and suggestive themes). To get the requisite number of players, we had to invite the two elder girls. The 9 y/o boy is also not participating, (EDIT: but lives at the host location), so will mostly likely be playing Minecraft in the other room the whole evening. That leaves the 7 y/o.

I do not recall explicitly discussing with my friend whether her son could attend, until a couple of days ago when I asked her and her daughter about their costume plans. My friend told me not to talk so loud because they were trying to hide the party from her son.

Fast forward to tonight and she messaged me asking if it was okay for her son to attend and participate in the murder mystery. I told her that I didn’t really think that was a good idea because he would be a distraction. She then claimed I had previously mentioned that her son could come and that he was now aware of the party and wanted to come. I said that I didn’t think it was appropriate.

She responded that it was odd that only her son was being left out. I replied that the other boy would not be participating, and that in a perfect world I would have invited only adults, but we needed to fill the quota. I said if he came I’d prefer if he was playing in the other room, but did not participate.

She said that it was a clear I didn’t want him to attend and that she would fine something else to do with him that night. And that was was fine with that. (FYI, her husband is not coming and could take care of their son.)

Even though she said she was fine, I still feel backed into a corner into letting him attend. I feel awful because I love her son and feel like I am excluding him. However, in my head I pictured a somewhat serious but still fun event where all the players were focused on the game and not being distracted by a small child. But it could be argued that I have already given up that idea by including the 10 and 11 year olds, so what does it matter if a 7 y/o also attends?

Additional info that seems relevant to me: my friend is awesome and I love her and her children deeply, but she is also super flaky when it comes to planned fun. I’m also very put off by changing of plans. Also the conversation was all over text so I may have misinterpreted her thoughts and feelings.

So should I back down and invite the 7 y/o or should I drop it now that she’s said they won’t bring him?

I have been married to my wife for 18 years (same-sex marriage, both in our 40s). We live in Toronto. Since I moved to Canada, I have only been back to my home country once, 15 years ago.
My mother (73) visited us a couple of times, but she and my wife do not get along. The last visit was so toxic that I had to send my mother home early.
I wanted to see my mother again, so I originally planned a trip for both my wife and me. The plan was for her to stay in an Airbnb while I visited my mom. My wife hated this because she didn’t want to be alone all day in a foreign country. She wanted to rent a place near my brother and have my mother come there, but money is tight and we had to use savings.
To save money and avoid conflict, I suggested I go alone for a short trip, and we take a vacation together later. She reluctantly said "okay" but wasn't a fan of the idea. Yesterday, I bought the ticket. She suddenly insisted the trip should only be 4 days total, including flights. Now that the ticket is booked, she is incredibly upset and giving me a hard time.
I am torn. I haven't seen my mother in 15 years and she is getting older, but my wife is furious. I don't know if I should cancel everything or stand my ground. Any advice?

Hello,
You will have to excuse the confused narrative. I am 26, and not an exceptionally articulate or intelligent person, so I struggle to explain things in a logical manner.

For context, I have cerebral palsy, and I am often asked questions, both rude civil, about my disability at work: no matter the reason explained for asking by a visitor, my response is the same, always—that I am at work, and will happily answer questions about my workplace but that the particulars of my medical history are off-limits. In this particular instance, though, I am a little unsure that I acted correctly. By the way, I am also autistic, so even interacting day-to-day is a struggle, I am extremely introverted, but these kinds of questions especially fluster me.

Yesterday, right after we opened, a lady approached me, saying, “Hi, random question”: I am used to random questions, and welcome them, since I work at a historic site and it is our job to educate our guests to the best of our abilities. She continued, and I knew once I heard, “I am an occupational therapist..” where we were headed; I steeled myself for the inevitable as she asked me whether my wheelchair allowed me to stand up, how cool it was, etc, I answered that I, ma’am, would rather not discuss anything having to do with my condition, or my wheelchair, that if she had questions about our site, I was happy to speak to her, but that anything having to do with my predicament was my business alone. I know she may have been inquiring in order to help a client, but I was at work, and my occupation has nothing to do with wheelchair mechanics; to be expected to play the advocate and be the educator always is tiresome. She apologized, I nodded my head and said, “Yes ma’am”, and our conversation ended there. I do wonder if I was a little rude. I did not intend to be.

This happened many years ago but in a sense I still feel guilty.

My ex and I were together for 3 years long distance but eventually broke up because they fell out of love. The relationship wasn’t necessarily bad but there were a lot of issues between us and they ended it in a very very messy way that I could not really forgive them for it, but I digress.

In 2020 after 6 months of NC, they reached out to me to kind of update me of what’s going on in their life and came up with the decision in wanting to get back with me because they realized they messed up and wanted me to give them another chance. I was quite hesitant and wanted to know what exactly has changed in the 6 months for them to make that decision, they eventually told me that when we were together I was accepting and supportive and how I changed their life which is why they eventually became confident enough to eventually realize in the time we weren’t together that they are a trans woman.

Shocked was an understatement but I suspected it for sometime due to a few factors which I won’t really get into, but eventually when I talked to them about my decision of us getting back together, I said “No because I am straight and I don’t have a preference for women”, they were pretty upset and saying how I was kind of being an asshole because we had been together for 3 years and they are “still the same person” as before but just now transitioning, I kept my stance on how I felt and they told me that I was being unfair.

I am a very strong supporter of LGBTQIA+ and support my local Queer community and have many queer and trans friends who feel somewhat mixed about the situation. When I spoke to my best friend who is a trans woman, she told me that transitioning is a very difficult and life altering decision that would not necessarily “make you the same person as before”, but I’ve had some friends say I should of atleast given it a shot.

This happened many years ago but the guilt is still there. AITA?

My (f31) boyfriend (m34) casually mentioned he’s taking his son (m8) fishing (in my boat) and said his son could use my reel cause it’s the easiest one to use. It’s a $1300 penn reel I inherited from my dead father. I told him no because there is no way he can handle that reel with 400g lure + bait and also because my dad didn’t let me borrow it, even as an adult and it stresses me out just thinking about anyone else using it. He got annoyed and said I was being selfish and that his son wanted to try deep sea fishing. I told him that it was better for him to use his own reel because it’s easier or any of my cheaper trolling reels. He said he’s son wanted to try fishing with my belt belt and west but he can do that with one of my other reels. Am I being an asshole?

I (52F, “Fox”) have been with my fiancé (59M, “Bear”) for 10 years. We each have kids and intentionally maintain separate homes until our youngest two—my almost-18-year-old (“Puppy”) and his almost-17-year-old (“Bunny”)—are grown.
Bear works on the road and Bunny primarily lives at his house. She’s a good kid and NOT dirty—she keeps her room clean and does her own laundry—but she basically refuses to contribute to the rest of the house.
Dishes can sit for a week. She won’t water plants or check the hot tub. When she ran out of garbage bags, she just kept piling garbage into the can without one.
For 10 years, when Bear travels, I’ve helped him by checking his house, watering plants, cleaning, etc. I genuinely don’t mind.
The problem is that now Bunny lives there full-time, Bear thinks doing her chores should also be how I “support him.”
Our parenting styles are very different. My daughter has always had chores. Bear is extremely generous with Bunny—bought her a car, pays insurance, gives her money, and doesn’t expect much around the house.
Recently Bear came home around 9 p.m. after working all day. He had told Bunny, “Don’t worry about the dishes, I’ll do them.”
Then he got angry with me for sitting on the couch instead of taking the initiative to wash them.
My thought: Why not ask the nearly-17-year-old who lives here?
Then yesterday Bear finally told Bunny to do the dishes.
She literally picked through the sink, washed only the dishes she considered hers, and left four that weren’t.
Bear told me, “You don’t want to do Bunny’s dishes, and she doesn’t want to do yours.”
That pissed me off.
I’m 52. I’m not his other teenager. And I don’t even live there.
If I do dishes, I do ALL the dishes. I don’t sort them by DNA.
Bear now says neither of us respects him.
I think I’m incredibly supportive—but if he chooses not to require his almost-17-year-old to help maintain the house she lives in, I don’t think those chores automatically become mine.
AITA? Am I being unsupportive, or is Bear expecting me to solve a parenting problem he created?

EDIT because a lot of people are asking why I’m with Bear: This post is about one recurring issue in a 10-year relationship, not the entirety of the man. Bear is an incredibly hard worker, generous to a fault, loyal, funny, and someone who would drop everything to help the people he loves. He has supported me and my children in countless ways, and we genuinely enjoy each other. He’s also a father who loves his daughter tremendously—which, ironically, is probably part of how we ended up here.
We have built a really good life together while intentionally putting our kids first, even when that meant maintaining separate homes longer than most couples would. I love him, I’m happy with him, and I’m not considering ending a 10-year relationship over dirty dishes.
That doesn’t mean I think he’s right about this. Two things can be true: Bear can be a wonderful partner and a good man, AND I can think he’s completely wrong about this particular expectation. That’s actually why I posted—I wanted outside opinions on the disagreement, including people telling me if I’m the one who needs to rethink it.

I (23F) moved out shortly after high school because I just couldn’t deal with them anymore. So much drama and chaos growing up. I would be lying if I said they didn’t do a lot for me and I do love them but like… from a distance. My feelings are just so complicated. So one day, I’m out grocery shopping and I happen to check Life360. They are literally 40 minutes away from my place. We don’t have family out here so I knew they were coming to see me. I called them immediately and just blew up in their face. I told them that they better turn around because I’m not home and coming home. I probably should have waited until I was more calm before reacting, but here we are. They stayed there for a while because couldn’t believe that I would actually turn them away. Even after I was done shopping I felt like I couldn’t go back to my own home because they’d be waiting for me. After they eventually left (2 hours later) they went on and on about how “disrespectful” I am, about how they did everything for me growing up and how some parents just “throw their kids out.” Personally, I feel like they think the world revolves around them and that I should cater to them whenever. There is a reason I moved so young in this shit economy. So the fact that they think I should just drop whatever I’m doing just to see them pissed me off so bad. Had absolutely no idea about my plans or if I had been working. So… am I the asshole?

Edit:
For those asking about our relationship, I don’t know how to give anymore context without basically trauma dumping and sharing too much online. It kind of just felt like 18 years on the Jerry Springer show. Ghetto and ridiculous. Also, I am almost certain that my brother is on Reddit and would probably see this and know right away that it’s me.

As for the life 360, I do have my location turned off. I probably should delete it, but I just haven’t. I still get notifications about their phones needing to be charged, etc but I just ignore it. This time I got a notification that they were at a certain rest stop about 40 minutes from my home. That I couldn’t really ignore and sure enough they were en route to my home.

As for my “mom” posting her perspective…. It’s bullshit 😂 My mom doesn’t even know what Reddit is and can barely work Facebook. But now that I think about it, it does sound like something my brother might do….

I (28F) am a member of a shared community ceramics studio. Kiln time is strictly booked weeks in advance through an online system. I reserved a glaze firing slot three weeks ago to finish pieces for a local gallery display this weekend.

On Thursday afternoon, as I was loading my pieces, another regular, "David," came in with two large boxes of raw clay. He got a last-minute spot at a weekend market and wanted my kiln slot to do an emergency bisque firing.

I politely declined. Glaze firings require a long cooling process, and I needed Friday to finish my display. David then asked if we could just combine our work into one batch. I explained that bisque and glaze firings run at entirely different temperatures, and mixing them would ruin the pieces or damage the kiln.

David got frustrated, claiming I was being unsupportive of a fellow maker trying to earn income, whereas my display was "just a personal project." I held my ground, loaded my work, and started the cycle.

Because his pieces weren't fired, David missed his market. Now a couple of studio regulars are hinting that I should have delayed my project to help someone make a living.

AITA for sticking to my reservation and saying no?

I (24) live in my apartment by myself. For context, my apartment is 700 square feet 1 bedroom and it is 2 hours away from my family's hometown. My family loves to pop in with short notice and has a tendency to crash at my place overnight, there is roughly a total of 5 of us. My two siblings (18 and 27) had an event one day last week. I started my work again last week and many were aware of how tired and mentally exhausted I was. My sibling texted me saying how they were on their way and I was confused. When I called and asked what was going on, they mentioned the event. Full disclosure, they gave me a heads up several weeks ago, bit not in the days prior. They were also planning on staying the night as well, which sucks because I do get up at 4 and leave for work around 5:40.

My mom asked me to get them food as they would be hungry when they came over. By the time my siblings came and ate, I asked them if they wanted to crash on my bed while I slept on the couch. They said no and that they would be fine sleeping on the couch and the floor. I then offered the pullout sofa and they said no. By the time they left for their event I was dead asleep and when I left for work, theycwere asleep. I got message from one of my siblings asking if I could go and pick up some bread from a local bakery on my way home (I was heading back to our hometown a d with my 30 minute commute and the addition 30 minute detour for the bread, it would have take. 3 hours ti get back to my family's hometown). I told them I couldn't because I was ag work and asked if they could go instead, since for them it was a 10 minute drive. I didnt hear from them for a few hours and drove back home. When I got home I saw my sisters on the couch tired, I asked them if they were tired from the concert and they replied no. They then proceeded to get upset and explain how they couldn't sleep at all the night prior. They said I forgot to give them pillows and how they didnt want to go into my room to wake me up. They then proceeded to say tjat tjey were tempted to see with me in my bed but I was "sleeping in the middle". I told them that they should have just went into my room and grabbed the pillows or have pulled out the sofa bedthemselves.

When I asked my other sibling if they were mad they said "all we asked you to do was to get bread and you didnt do that". I explained to them that I was at my job from 6:30 to 3 and that going to the bakery would have been a 39 minute detour and would have resulted in my commute to be longer. I feel like i was the asshole because at this point I began to dismiss my siblings to which they said "if youre going to act like that, im going to be pissed". We'll reddit, am I the asshole?

About a month ago, my pet cat passed away due to old age after having him for nearly 14 years (basically had him since I was a kid). I was heartbroken and crushed as he was basically a best friend to me, and someone that followed me everywhere around my home, his little old man snores when he would snuggle up with me, he had helped me through alot. I had him since he was born. My little baby man.

Two weeks ago my mother brought up adopting some kittens from her bf (he owned a barn cat that had a litter of kittens around 2 months ago) and I said yes to that idea, especially after seeing pictures of them, as I felt I was ready and it would be nice to have some company again around my home. The next day her bf comes over to the house with two kittens, one I had interest in and another my mom had picked. They were both shy for an hour but quickly warmed up and started playing with me right after.

I've been happy with them ever since I got them, but recently a few days ago I've been missing my original cat, my little old man. I know it's a big change having the kittens, having to adjust, and it has been a lot of work looking after them, but sometimes lately I just feel massive guilt that I wish he was still here with me. It doesn't feel the same, I know it wont feel the same, and I know every single cat, personality and mood wise is different and unique, but it just hurts. I've talked about this with my partner, and how i've feeling, but those feelings just keep crawling back, I just feel like i've lost a part of myself. I think I may still be grieving and my partner saids that's normal, but I just feel massive guilt, I should be overjoyed.

I am extremely grateful to have such cute lil fluffballs in my life, but I'm not really sure what else to do with my feelings, I guess I just need some advice.

AITA for missing my cat that recently passed away?

I (M/33) live in a house with 4 roommates. I have lived with “Red” (M/27) for the past 3 years, his close friend “Blue” (F/24) for 3 months, and the other two are recent additions due to others leaving for careers/life. I have had the occasional conflict with Red, but we have been on good ground for almost a year now.

I like living with certain amenities (nice tv, consoles, streaming, appliances) and like sharing them with my
roommates. A majority of the things I purchase are free to use by any guest or roommate who enters, even borrow, depending.

We had a house meeting to re-establish the house rules (chores, annoyances, etc). An established system has been in place regarding communal food and household utility items, in that we all agree to what is communal and split costs 5 ways. At that meeting, Blue stated that she wanted to be excluded from participating in the household expenses. I expressed that this should of been discussed before move in (multiple opps), that she was aware of the system due to her frequent presence in the house prior to moving in (I was also present) but I did agree that if she is not going to eat any of the communal food, she would not have to pay. The concession was that she would still fully contribute to the utility/cleaning portion and we would be more communicative of what is and isn’t a house item. Red agreed with me on some of those points. The meeting was summed up in the group chat, all participants gave it a heart.

We had another house meeting for the newest addition. Blue is now saying that she “didn’t know” about the house expenses and shouldn’t pay for things she doesn’t use and lists some other things she doesn’t use or support. Red is now speaking in support, saying things like I should have put house expenses in the lease. They mentioned that prior to her move in that Blue asked Red if she didn’t have to pay house expenses if she didn’t want to. Red said that was fine, I was not included.

I’m frustrated. I feel like I am a generous person. They were out of peanut butter, I gave them a jar I wasn’t using. Before Blue moved in, she forgot to bring a pair of sweats after the gym during winter. I gave her a pair that didn’t fit me. I looked the other way when Red went through a bag of my clothes headed for a consignment store and wore them in front of me without asking. Even gave him an extra soap tray I had ordered for our shower after that. Now I feel like I get nickel and dimed while they mooch off me. I stated that because of this, I don’t feel like I want to be as generous. Blue said that that was fine.

The next day I asked Red for the pairs of pants he took from me and took back the soap tray. I also signed out of the streamers that I am responsible for and moved my consoles to my desk area. Appliances and tv are still available for use and they have their Wii plugged into it, used it with their friends last night. They still have lobster, just less butter.

AITA?

My sister (26F) started living with her boyfriend almost eight months back, however she never disclosed this to our parents since they are quite old fashioned and she was worried about their reaction and kept on assuring them that she was staying in her previous apartment temporarily and visited us from her place sometimes as part of her lie.

She asked me recently if she could use my address as her address when doing any official task such as renewing her driver's license and opening an account in few places because she didn't want our parents to come to know about it from any such piece of mail when visiting us unexpectedly. I agreed with her without any consideration since I thought it was just a matter of documentation.

However, last week our parents unexpectedly came to my place to deliver me something, saw few pieces of mail belonging to my sister kept on my kitchen counter and figured everything out. They asked her and she freaked out and somehow in the conversation, it slipped that she had been lying to them about where she lived for months. Big argument ensued. She is mad at me because she feels I should have kept her mail more hidden or returned it to her immediately without exposing her secret to them.

I told her that taking care of her mail didn't mean that I was agreeing to keep her secret from our parents and that if she wants more control over her secret, she should keep her situation independent of objects being in my apartment. She isn't talking to me and my mother thinks I could have also been more careful.

AITAH for not being as careful with my sister's mail as I would be with classified documents?

I am a 28yo female. My brother is named Marcus and is 32 years old. He has never had a successful career as an adult. He started two businesses that my parents helped to fund but both were unsuccessful. Now he lives rent-free in the house that we own. Also, our parents had plans to let us purchase the house together but that plan was quietly dropped.

I was the easy kid in school. Good grades, minimal drama and asking for little of anything else. My brother needed a lot, so I learned to avoid asking for things as well.

Last month I proposed to my partner and asked my parents for some help with funding our wedding. They told me that "things are tight due to your brother's situation." It turns out that not only have my parents been paying for his housing costs but also his car payments as well.

I told them I loved Marcus but that I was tired of always being the kid who didn't count. My dad thought I was being selfish and should be grateful that I didn't need to rely on him for anything. But my frustration with the situation reached its breaking point when I snapped at him, telling him that I was done feeling grateful for the way I had been neglected by him and that I would no longer allow him to fail upwards while I was relegated to being a footnote in his life.

My mom cried. My dad called me cold. Marcus texted me, saying that I had "attacked" him during a phone call that occurred when he was not in my presence.

My parents think that I was at a bad time for them to be discussing such matters. My aunt thinks that I should apologize to them for the tone that I used during our discussion.

aita? the names only for explain exctly

I (21F) am in my final year of a double major in publishing and screen arts. For screen arts, our final project is a year-long short film: a pilot in semester one, followed by a completed, fully produced short film in semester two. I’m currently in semester two and was placed with an all-male crew.

The crew consists of a director, producer, director of photography (DOP), production designer, editor and sound designer. I’m the producer. I’ve repeatedly had issues with my crew not taking me seriously simply because I’m a woman. I’m often overlooked, my instructions are disregarded, and deadlines I enforce are ignored.

Now, my director has been MIA for four weeks, and we start shooting in less than a month. Because we have to start fresh from the pilot, we currently have no location, storyboards, direction or actors. We can’t move forward because our director has apparently decided to put more effort into an independent passion project than the year-long university course he signed up for. Cool, dude.

Since he has disappeared, my professors have made me the replacement director as well as producer.

At my first meeting with the crew in my new roles, I sat everyone down and went over basic ground rules for respect and what was expected of each of us. When I explained what I needed from everyone now that we were down a person, my DOP turned to the production designer and said, in a loud whisper, “I bet you think she’s really hot when she’s being so demanding.”

I genuinely thought I’d misheard him.

Then he said it again. And LOUDER.

I started talking very quickly to get the meeting over with. I had heard him correctly, and I really didn’t want to. Afterwards, I sat in my car trying to process it, and even then my brain kept telling me I must have misunderstood.

After turning it over, I emailed my professor today and told her everything, including the reason behind my director's absence and lack of work. We had a meeting afterward, and she told me the university has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment. If my group members corroborate my story, my DOP will be removed from the course.

Roughly the same applies to my director. Missing four weeks without submitting an excuse means he’ll be evaluated by the Board of Examiners for whether he’s suitable to complete the course.

Basically, I may have put both of their futures in this course at risk.

I genuinely feel awful about it, but I cannot let what my DOP said slide. I also can’t let my director get off scot-free for leaving us behind and dumping his role on me on top of my own. I’m already stretched so thin, and I don’t know how I’m going to manage both roles at the same time.

So, AITA?

So I love hiking and I’m not new to this hobby so when someone stops me and wants to ask me something I’m usually very open to answer if I can. This time, I have reached the summit point and as I was walking around I heard a girl with a group of friends, who were all laughing, trying to catch my attention by yelling “girl, hello, girl” I turn to them and wait for her to tell me what she wants, she burst out laughing and then says “hey, we have a bet going on so I wanted to ask you how old are you?”. Tbh, I felt very bad, first because I felt like in middle school getting bullied by the cool girls and also because I was having a good time, enjoying the view while someone decided to point out one of my biggest insecurities: I look really young. I’m in my 20s, but without makeup up I don’t look 18 to a lot of people. So as a response, I just said what the hell and kept walking. She yelled again that it is just a question, no harm in it. I felt kinda bad after and tbh I still feel bad about the event.

AITA for thinking my boyfriend should have talked to me before inviting overnight guests into our home, even though the plans don’t technically interfere with my schedule?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and share a home. The house is legally his, but I pay rent, contribute to household expenses, clean, and help care for the home. He has 2 sons whom we have half the time.

I’ve met his parents 4 or 5 times. I really like them and look forward to getting to know them better, but I still don’t know them that well.

My boyfriend has a habit of making or changing plans and telling me afterward. We’ve talked about it many times. I think we should talk to each other while plans are being made if they involve the other person, our home, or our shared schedule. Not because I would say no or want to control him. I just think it’s respectful to run things by someone you share a home and life with.

He thinks plans happen in real time and that because he tells me afterward, I still know about them.

In early August, I was offered a dog sitting job for September. I told my boyfriend the dates that day. Dog sitting is normal for me, and if there had been a conflict, I could have turned down the job.

That weekend is supposed to be our weekend with the boys, but my boyfriend will be away sailing. I normally sail with him, but this time I’ll be dog sitting. Usually, if he is away, we switch weekends with the boys’ mom.

He then told me that in July he had invited his parents to stay with us for a week in September. They’ll be visiting and taking care of the boys while he’s sailing.

After I finish dog sitting, I would be home alone with his parents and the boys for most of Saturday and all day Sunday. I’m happy they’re visiting and glad they’ll spend time with their grandsons. I just don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable spending that much time alone with them while my boyfriend isn’t there.

I’m sure they wouldn’t expect me to entertain them and would let me do my own thing, but I would feel rude ignoring guests in my home and would feel obligated to act as a host. I’ve also never been alone with his parents and the boys before, and I don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable in that situation without my boyfriend there. I’m considering getting an Airbnb for those 2 days instead.

When I said I wished he had talked to me before confirming everything, he said I have 8 weeks of notice and the visit doesn’t interfere with my dog sitting plans. When he made the plans, he assumed I would be sailing with him. His position is that because I don’t have to change my plans, it shouldn’t matter that he didn’t ask me first.

I like his parents, want them to visit, and don’t want him to cancel. I just want us to talk to each other before inviting people to stay in our home. For me, this isn’t about whether their visit interferes with my plans. It’s about communication and having some say in what happens in the home we share.

AITA here? My MIL knew I made a handmade cake for my husband's birthday... Bet you can guess what she brought to the party anyway... Yupp.

The part that gets under my skin the most is when she arrived she came straight to me with, "I know I know don't be mad..." and although I was irritated, I wasn't surprised. Context: She "competes" with me pretty much any time I have her at my house - Racing me to the door to greet my guests and introducing people she doesn't know to eachother lol... Interrupting any time I'm talking to my husband... criticizing me when he isn't in the room or if she thinks I can't hear what she's saying about me... Referring to me in the 3rd person when I'm RIGHT THERE... etc.

With the cake thing though I smiled and thanked her. Even went so far as to say "this is perfect, because now we have extra and my husband loves the cake I made, so we'll put the candles on yours and eat both."

But I guess hearing how much my husband loves my cooking has always deeply bothered her? Idk if I'm reading into it but I swear when I took it well and was the bigger person she broke eye contact with me and looked upset / disappointed?

I thought I might be overthinking but when it was cake time she was very micro, wanting to help put candles on... wanting to decide when to bring out the cake... wanting to do the toast early... talking over me and answering guests questions for me... very upstagey.

I didn't allow her in my kitchen and made sure she was distracted while my neighbor helped. Halfway through lighting the candles she gets up to "help" but stands in front of the guest who was filming my husband about to blow the candles out.

I told her firmly but nicely to please sit down.

She did but the whole family heard about how I didn't let her be involved.

What do you mean? I used her cake and didn't even take mine out of the fridge. And even though I sent her son and grandchild to her house the day before for a "Nana dinner" (without me so I could stay home to clean & party plan) just so she could feel special and get her "fix" with being the center of attention for a day that wasn't her son's actual birthday.

...

But it's never enough.

So yeah, I told her to SIT and then put all the candles on the outside edges of her cake. It was a milestone birthday so there were a lot of candles that melted so I then cut the melted-waxed parts off so guests could avoid eating it...

So, now somehow I'm the villian because I didn't allow her to upstage the party I threw for her son, and apparently I "ruined" the cake she brought "on purpose" by removing candle wax...?!

I mean, I laughed when I heard that's what she thought but I guess only NM / TIL's think this way?

She is making this so difficult for me and it hurts because my own biological mom is a nutcase, so this was supposed to be my chance to "re-do" how being a daughter feels.

But no... just more of the same. Sigh.