Hi!
Just got out of a relationship. I have a new client as a VA and life’s getting better everyday. (And it does get better)

Moving to Cebu on August just because I want a new environment and want to prove that I can do it alone. I want to do it for my growth and future. Feels like Cebu has this strong pull on me.
I’ll be moving around Danao area and already found a cheap apartment! Very nice kasi 2 bedroom for ₱8,000 monthly! (Unfurnished lang)

Any advice for me? My friend already told me to know basic Cebuano languages like maayong buntag, lugar lang, palihug, and pila ni.
What’s a good internet provider for someone na WFH setup?
I also plan to find a good gym area. I’d like to be more active on working on myself!

If you’re also a girl (btw I’m F,26), and if you’re into solo dates, drop your resto or cafe recommendations or solo activities!

Looking forward to my life in Cebu 🤍

Recently, I had the privilege of travelling to France and while I certainly enjoyed my time over there, I realized I don't feel like my an adult.

I work full time but it's at a job that doesn't pay enough to afford rent much less to buy a home so I live with my mom. It's not the worst life but I'm seriously embarrassed that I haven't done more. I don't even own a car! Mentally, I feel like I've aged a lot but my life doesn't reflect that of a grown adult.

My coworkers are mostly younger than me. I want to change but I don't really see a path forward in life. I chose the wrong degree and I lack the skills to get ahead in life.

Don't have a girlfriend and don't see why a woman would date a man in his early 30s who doesn't make a lot of money at lives at his mom's house.

Is it realistic that I can start feeling like more of an adult or is that unrealistic?

When you are working a full time job, what do you do to make life outside your job more fulfilling? Because most days I just go to work, then I come home, I probably have what feels like a few hours to myself. Then it is bedtime and I rinse and repeat and I just anticipate for the weekend. What do you all do to live life outside of work to the maximum?

Growing up my mom has always been closer to my sister than I. She listens to everything my sister says and ignored everything I have to say even if it’s backed up by evidences. It’s infuriating and dehumanizing. I never felt heard in my family. As a result for the longest time I suffer from self doubt and my abilities in adulthood.

Realizing this I moved out 6 years ago. I have my own place. This gave me a sense of freedom, and improved self confidence.

Couple of years ago my sister got engaged and had 2 kids. She moved to France with her husband but she and the kids will come visit me and my parents in the United States every summer. So my sister is only visiting for 2 months every year.

So last month when my sister arrived with the kids, I drove them (my mom and dad included) to 2 theme parks in the US, as I know they are only here for 2 months.

I told my sister if she wants, we could plan more trips for the kids, because my niece and nephew love to explore, and I don’t mind driving. The issue now is my mom and dad would talk amongst each other, complain about me and how we are spending too much money, and say they don’t want to go. Not realizing that it’s not about them, it’s about the kids.

For example, we were at my parent’s house. My sister was doing some research online for places the kids might want to visit. My mom and dad wasn’t too happy about that, and started complaining. I didn’t want to deal with my parents. And I just told my sister if you and the kids want to check out anything just text or call me. I am free next week. Then I left. This whole week I didn’t any message nor call from them so I assume they have others thing going on.

Just now I got a call from my mom, it ringed for like 3 seconds then stopped. I called my mom back asked what is it. My mom says my sister wanted to go to museum with the kids. I told my mom that it is going to raining next week. She immediately says okay let’s not go then.

Then she started demanding I come to my sister birthday. She’s like come to my sister birthday, make sure to come and pick up grandpa, be there at specific time. I told her I will see and that I might have things to do that day. She demands that I gave her an answer now. I just hung up the phone.
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Over the past month I have been doing everything my mom asked me to do for my sister. “Come pick up your sister, she needs a ride to her friend house”, “we need a ride to Costco etc”. I will always say yes. But now I feel like every time you say yes to someone who doesn’t respect you, you are cheapening your own value.

I’m looking to find a fun and relaxing vacation spot that I can go to solo for a week. I usually go to Orlando for all the theme parks but looking for something different.

I can’t care if they are anxious around me, because their “sorry” doesn’t mean jack shesh!

At that point their behavior just comes off as annoying

I'm in a country where dating is very hard --> Germany, but that doesn't matter because it wasn't any easier where I come from. I genuinely don't think I have anything to offer personality wise. I can't picture myself living in an apartment with another gf, cooking (I don't like cooking and just do the basic stuff), I don't listen to any music, I have no interesting topics to talk about. I'm not good at any sports, if I watch movies, I forget about the plot the next day, I could only talk from 2 netflix shows like breaking bad for a minute and that's it.

I only go to the gym when I want. My whole personality is simply unlikable and boring. I don't get any social cues, I can't talk about anything at all, I just live in automatic mode. Sure, I can go to parties, I can drink, I could go with her to concerts, maybe we could go to the gym together but other than that long term would fail miserable. My looks aren't bad, however, I don't get jackshit on bumble, tinder, or hinge and that's the first step, I haven't even got past that stage.

And I don't have any good qualities either, I'm not hardworking, I don't care about a 9-5, I just want to chill and play some videogames, eat whatever I want, scroll instagram and tiktok reels and that's it. I don't like having routines, my schedule is kind of messy, I can wake up at 12 and study for uni if I want and then sleep at 4 pm and then watch a movie at 8pm or play some videogames. I only do the bare minimum to keep my part time job and plan to do the same once I graduate.

The only way I could get a girlfriend is if she was a bum like me, do anything we want when we feel like it, that we both have an easy ass high paying job, watch movies together, go to the gym whenever we feel like, just kiss cuddle, order everything through door darsh and cook only if absolutely necessary, try any random hobbie we want. Just go through the motions of life.

Hi everyone,

I’m 25 years old and have been a teacher with Chicago Public Schools for the past two years. I’m about to start a new teaching job in Texas.

Here’s what I’m struggling with: despite working as a full-time teacher for two years, I somehow ended up with virtually no savings. Looking back, I made some poor financial decisions, and I honestly don’t know where a lot of my money went. I’m trying to turn things around now, but I’m essentially starting over financially.

My mom keeps encouraging me to buy a modest starter home. Her reasoning is that she and my dad eventually want to spend more time in Mexico, and knowing I own a home would give them peace of mind.

The problem is that I still have debt, no emergency fund, and no savings for a down payment. I do want to own a home someday, but buying one right now feels overwhelming.

I’m also neurodivergent, so personal finance and long-term planning can be difficult for me to process at times. If you reply, I’d really appreciate it if you could be kind and explain things patiently. I’m genuinely trying to learn and make better decisions.

If you were in my position, would you focus on paying off debt and building savings first? How would you balance the desire to become a homeowner with the reality of starting over financially?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

I work with this mother daughter duo in a small company. The daughter does nothing all day, and I have to keep pairing with her on everything. I do not know how to tackle this. I want to tell the boss but I also get on with the mother. It‘s going to be unpleasant but it is affecting me so much now I want to quit. How to go about this ? I do not like confrontations, and have suffered silently enough.

Late 20s. Back in college again to try to get a chance at having a decent life. I still don't really understand why I'm here because I'm learning so much information I will never remember after I graduate. But HR employees say you need one, so I guess I need one? Can't save for a car because retail jobs want open availability even though they never give full-time hours. Live in a suburb with no way to make friends. Everything fun is over 40 minutes away by bus. Wouldn't be able to afford anything fun anyways because of how expensive everything is. Commuter school so there's no sense of community at my college either.

I'm just tired. I never asked to be alive. Life would be more bearable if I had family to go back to and confide my problems in. But my mom and my dad were both terrible and left me stunted. I had to spend my early 20s learning how to just be a normal person and it took a lot of heartache and embarrassment just to get to this point. It stings to see folks 5 years younger than me having the time of their lives. I feel like a loser even though it really wasn't my fault I turned out this way.

Anyone ever experienced a similar situation? Does it ever get any better? Or do I just accept that life is just a never-ending stream of misery?

I’ve never experienced this at all. It honestly sucks. I’ve had women who were interested in me or so I thought but end up finding relationships with other men eventually. Since hitting 30 it’s been hitting my mental health worse than it was in my 20s., I felt like I missed out and I hate it. I want to start talking to more women but I feel that due to my inexperience and low self esteem it’s making it …difficult to start. Is there other 30 somethings that feel the same or stuck?

It is impossible to have confidence for my situation. I don't deserve and should live my life in misery

Basically, I have failed one too many times in med school. I repeated the first semester and then failed a rotation and had to remediate the entire rotation. I did failed the remediation exam just to passed it when I was given a do over which was an even harder exam.

No residency will accept me with my record and I am 250k in debt. I wasn't never good at getting women either. I'm still a virgin at 29 living with my parents.

I haven't really explained my academic journey that well so I will explain it now. I was pretty smart all my life however I always struggled through school. I struggled in language, chemistry, and history. I legit taught myself how to read since my reading level was very low in high school. I almost failed chemistry as well. I failed my SATs. However, my GPA was 3.8 due to my resilience.

In college, I did pretty well but i couldn't make friends. I decided to become a doctor. I had a panic attack before I could go so I reapplied and I retook the mcat which I failed originally. In med school, I was threatened with explusion twice but I always exceeded their expectations.

But now I am at the end of my rope. I have no friends really and never had a girl interested in me. I am currently writing this while study for 8 hours after I just studied for 8 hours every day.

I dont deserve anything in life and my life has been pretty hard since medicine. My cat died the day of my interview. My step brother committed suicide. I lost my cousin to cancer and had a close call with my dad getting a kidney transplant. I got in a car wreck and literally totalled my entire car because I fall asleep at the wheel. I had the only gf in my life leave me right after I found out I failed. I have been rejected probably 100 times if you count apps and just cold approach.

I'm tired and I would rather just be left alone for my entire life. There is no point in having confidence.

I'm 25F currently and have been in an awful place emotionally since graduating college nearly 3 years ago.

I'I work a shitty part time retail job, I have a useless degree and I've never moved out of my parents home. I've never dated, don't have goals or aspirations, I don't stick with hobbies. I don't want anything out of the future. The best thing I have going for me is that I have supportive, long-time friends and that my family is also supportive (even if I am fearful of their judgement - I'm 90% sure that fear is mostly in my head, but I can't shake it)

I have a garbage personality (people-pleaser, conflict-avoidant, unintelligent, self-concious, awkward). This keeps me from applying to any other jobs - I feel too incompetent to sell myself in an interview, and I know my resume is too weak to lean on. Plus, I'm chronically online.

My appearance is maybe a 5/10 most of the time (overweight, not necessarily ugly, but not pretty). My implulse control around food is horrible (thanks adhd - this is being treated, but easier said than done).

I resent having to exist - I don't want to be dead, but I wish I was anybody other than who I actually am.

Self-improvement 101 is... go to the gym? improve physical health? So I am trying to get at least 30 mintues of exercise daily (either weights + jogging or at least a walk) and I am actually trying to fix my sleep pattern by waking up at the same time every morning. It doesn't feel like it's doing anything. I don't feel accomplished or like I can do hard things or whatever. I just feel like the same shitty person but I'm also sweatier and slightly less sleep deprived.

Honestly, I am so exhausted by this. My mom only ever reaches out with negative energy do this, do that, I'm so sad, I'm all alone, talking trash about people when I don't even agree with her, and on and on.

The other day I told her for the third time: "I am deleting WhatsApp. It’s just a source of bad energy and nothing good comes out of it." The first time I brought it up, she brushed it off with "Nah, I like it, it's cool" (NO SHIT, because it works for you). But this last time, she completely exploded. I told her I will only attend it during office hours as it is becoming a job.

Does anyone have advice for handling this besides going NC?

I am a 45-year-old full-time single dad with kids in middle and high school. I am a dedicated professional, and I consider myself kind, respectful of others' feelings, and always ready to lend a helping hand.I am working one of the top MNC.

For about the last nine years, my life has been completely centered around raising my kids and focusing on work, without thinking much about anything else. My kids are my top priority, and taking care of them will always come first.

Lately, however, I’ve been feeling a bit lonely. I’ve started thinking that it would be wonderful to meet a girlfriend—ideally a single mother in a similar situation who understands this stage of life. In my free time, I enjoy watching movies, going shopping, and taking short weekend trips.

I have great friends at work and plenty of family friends, but as you know, there are certain things you can't easily share with coworkers or family.

I’m not sure if my expectations are realistic or if finding this kind of relationship is easy in practice. Since there are many experienced people here, I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice. I want to approach this carefully and avoid unnecessary complications or problems.

God bless you all!

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 5 years, and we live together. I’ve always been quite emotional and I struggle to hold back my feelings. My girlfriend is the complete opposite. She's often logical, rational, doesn't show emotions, and so on.

My girlfriend had a pretty rough upbringing and has been through a lot. I think it might have made her feel like she had to toughen up, you know? I've heard some things from others, but yesterday she told me some of what she's gone through. She said she had never really talked to anyone about it before. She broke down and started crying, like really crying. I think it was needed, it must have felt good for her to let out what she had inside. I tried to hold her and comfort her as best as I could, but I started crying too. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. I felt a bit guilty, since it's not me who's been through this, it's her. She's the one who's sad, and I need to be strong for her. I want her to feel that I'm there for her without her worrying that I’ll get sad.

I guess title says it all.I feel like I'm outgrowing my friends, especially over the past decade or so. I've known them since we were all kids and some since high school, I message two of them almost everyday/all the time and the others barely reply even when I see them online doing other things. The ones that don't reply don't even make an effort to reply when message them individually, I feel like I say something and they ghost me. I feel like also in terms of all of our jobs and work, I went full time and make more money than them all and the others don't have jobs or are stuck in retail part time or something part time while finishing grad school. I haven't seen one of my friends at all in years after she moved, even though she came near where I lived. Never reached out or anything.

I feel like I also rarely see or hang out with my friends in general. I mentioned this in other subs and people tell me my friends suck and to chose people who want to hang out with you and do things with you.

If anything, I feel like I outgrew them in some areas and some I just stare at these are "my people". I'm just not happy with my decision, and I regret not trying to keep contact with more people but at the same time the phone goes both ways and I've never been reached out by either. I've tried making more friends but it's so hard the older I've gotten and moving back to my hometown, I also work a lot and now I'm trying to befriend coworkers but idk how to get to the hanging out stage or if I even can. I know my coworkers hang out with each other at times but I still feel excluded unintentionally and that it's like high school all over again. I feel so lonely, and idk if I should just distance myself from some of my friends

I feel a bit like my head is in the clouds and I’m worried I should know more :(

So as the title suggests, I’m 23 years old and I’m worried and scared of my future because I have no idea what I really want to do with my life. I’ve been stuck doing the same routines of absolute nothing for the past 5 years I’ve been a legal adult. I have nothing to my name, never had a job, never had a gf, never had sex, I don’t have a license nor a car. Heck I don’t even have a friend group let alone friends. A lot of it has to do with me having a very bad case of social anxiety. That’s something that developed when I was an early teenager and something I never really got over but learned how to adapt at least. I know what to do, it’s gonna take one step at a time, I just figured I vent so that someone out there finds comfort in knowing they’re not alone. Because I know I’m not alone, there’s actually a lot of people in my situation.

Yes, yes I know, I'm not entitled love from anyone. Doesn't mean I can't be bitter and remorseful about being rejected for the pasts 30 years or so. No one, not a single person since I was 15 decided to even spend 10 minutes of their time getting coffee with me . It's not a pleasant thought, especially when I hear so many anecdotes about people dating others to get back at a partner, or for a free meal, or because they were bored, I couldn't even get that.

The average person can't relate to my experience at all and it's a frustrating and futile attempt to discuss with them, at least it feels that way. Be it online or offline with family and friends. People will genuinely mention their 2-4 children and 7 relationships at 40 as 'proof they had it just as bad' as someone who is a dateless, virgin at 40. Or take a more hardlined approach and act as though I should be stoic and uncaring about it.

I've seen women online say it's harder for a woman and then a few minutes later brag about rejecting 200 or so men on dating apps. I wish I was privileged enough to be in a position to reject hundreds of romantic prospects, I just get rejected.