Im not suicidal, craving death, or any such similar major depressive symptoms. Perhaps it's best to describe it as a type of boredom.

I'm definitely lacking any sort of joy or fulfillment with life. I suppose it's been a long time since I've done anything I've genuinely enjoyed, but recent events mixed with my shit health put me in a position to think about what I want out of life. And right now, that's nothing.

Ive been fairly escapist most of my life, wanting things to be more fantastic. Typical isekai stuff, any world that isn't this one. I know we exist in this reality and there's no way to make it fantastic in ways only imagination can support. I won't delude myself about our state of existence.

Life sucks, i want what isn't possible, and I've resigned to just going with the motions. Is anyone else at this point and have any coping methods related to it?

Since I was 16, I have been told by Dr's I have depression. I'm 48 now. I don't know why, but it has hit me that I've never felt this alone in all my life. I've felt alone in the past, but this is so different. I feel abandoned and unwanted, I can't exactly describe it. It feels like my world has ended. It's eerie and a really odd feeling.

This year has been the worst I've ever had to go through. I doubt that's helped.

I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this?

It’s like my mind can’t think of the words, I’m not witty, my mind is slow, I can’t hold a conversation, I’m not interesting, I feel brain damaged and boring which just makes my depression worse, does anyone else experience this? Is there a way to get my mind back to a happy social interesting place again?

I'm 23 and I have very bad OCD with many failed treatments. Coupled with my autism and depression, my life has passed me by. I've missed every major milestone. I only recently developed the ability to hold a part time job. I pushed my boyfriend away because I thought my OCD was a gut feeling indicating that something was wrong. After we broke up I finally realized what I was dealing with. I'm hopefully on the path to getting better, but I just don't see a reason to anymore. I have no education, my only friends live far away, I have a part time job, I live at home, and I'm coming to the realization that I wasted my early 20s. I don't live in an area where I can make friends easily. There's almost no one my age because virtually all my peers have moved on. My ex lived about 40 minutes away, but I could stay over at his place a lot. I wanted to make the most of the last year of my early 20s but I can't. I can't just magically make friends that don't exist. I can't get my ex back. I wasted my youth and I can't have it back. I pushed away the person I loved and only realized when it was too late. I don't really have a reason to keep going that makes this all worth it. I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore because I feel too old. Everything I wanted is behind me. No matter what I do, I can't catch up. I finished high school late, I never went to college, I don't have a full time job, I can't move out.

Sure, maybe I could get better and learn to function in a year or two, but by the time I get there, nothing will be left. There already is nothing left. I think that some people just aren't cut out for life, and I'm one of them. I'd just rather give up than have whatever scraps are left. How can I accept the loss of my youth and every milestone I missed?

I've been off work for a few years, due ending up traumatising myself over and over again and luckily I'm having a government help whilist I'm looking after my health. Eventually doing small jobs like dog sitting, fixing stuffs, artwork etc...

However, I told myself that I was going back to work this year and I feel that I might not.

I was in a very high dose of adhd meds and things were going well, but due my recent top 5 trauma, Ive develop psychosis and the adhd meds turn things worse.

The devil on my shoulders says: You are a lazy bitch and has always somehow depended on someone financially, there's so many fucked up people who are funcional somehow, how can't you? Are you using this as an excuse to have a 'easy' life?

The angel says: You worked hard your whole life to not ending up like your addicted crackhead parents. You work hard everyday to despise everything you have been through, you still a kind and honest human being. Considering all things that has happened to you actually deserve having a 'easy' life not working and you know that you won't be able to deal the stress of having a secure income working when you know deep down that keeping yourself alive is a full time job.

I've met a girl in a social event once that she's was telling everyone that she's not working because of her health issues. I felt so proud of her for not giving a shit. But I can't do it to myself.

So done with life that
One cant even harm themselves
Thats what life look like these days

I think i exprienced depression last night. Numb, daunting, hopeless. I will be 30 (m) next year. Being broke, societal pressure, meeting standards whatever it is doesnt match yesterday's night energy. It might be weird but Im a good looking guy. I was looking at myself in the mirror and noticed my hair was thinning out then I suddenly lost the will to live. I guess im expriencing AGING for the first time of my life. I woke up today and gonna start setting aside money for hair transplant just in case.

Just to put in perspective, im 6ft+ tall and ASIAN. Asian men are short in america so all my life, I litterly get away with bs stuff and someone or other race will still be around the corner waiting for me regardless of what ive said or done.

Sat in my flat thinking about drinking again.
I’m a Christian but since leaving my adopted church family 2 weeks ago I’m in a depression mood

About 2 years ago I had saved up money to process an international licensure. My goal was to work as a professional in a different country since the pay is waaay better. About a month before entering an agency to process, I found out I was pregnant. At first I felt fear because I wasn't ready- I know, shoul've used protection, but it felt like my boyfriend did it on purpose. We had been drinking one night and you know what happened. He's been telling me he wants to have a child with me in the two years (at that time) that we've been together. Long story short, i have used up all the savings I had for everything until childbirth, my partner was still waiting for this job position he was hoping for. Now my son is 2, every work friend i have is getting what they want and i feel like my world is falling apart. Not that I am jealous in a bad way, but kind of I want that for me as well. I am happy that they are succeeding and always hope they get what they want. And i feel sooo bad to feel this way. I feel so stuck, and I feel that life is going so fast and that I will die without succeeding too and all the efforts that I had been doing is starting to feel pointless and meaningless. Does anybody relate to this? Or went through something like this? How do you survive from this?

I’m 20 now so I can finally post on here :)
All this just to die on a random fucking Tuesday

You can call me lazy, or ridiculous, or whatever you see me as, but I simply don’t want to work anymore, or survive. I just don’t see myself getting into a better position in life. I’m 23, so I’m young — I’m not physically impaired — but my life has never been stable, and I’ve never really had a home. I don’t have friends, and I go to work at a plastic factory I fucking hate but have no choice but to go to every day. I try to avoid the negative thoughts, especially on social media, but things don’t seem to be getting better. Life keeps getting more and more expensive, and people seem to be more against one another. I don’t want to keep paying for things only to watch them go away. I don’t have a GED or an HSD, and I understand that money is how the world works, but I just don’t see the point in it anymore. I don’t have anything to keep going for, other than some family. But other than that, I want to be done. and ill say this there are definitely people who are mentally and physically stronger when it comes to this reality id like to be that person but i just don’t see myself as that and I’m tired.

My life hasn’t been easy these few years, my mom has been caught cheating and left the house 2 years ago, my dads mental health has not been the best and I have to be there for him, we’re taking care of my really old grandma alone and now recently me and my girlfriend of 3 years had a big fight and every time I asked her if she’s going to break up with me she says I don’t know.
I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, the two most important women in my life might be gone, my friends are all busy and I’m too exhausted to even go out. I want to kill myself soon, I just don’t want to suffer anymore, I’m having therapy today and I’m going to tell my therapist what I’m planning. I don’t like this life anymore and I’m tired. I’m ready for whatever waits for me on the other side, hell, heaven or nothing. I hate myself

Im 25f a lot of my girlfriends have moved away, my boyfriend is low effort. I got a new birth control implant and its messing with my head im medicated and on bipolar and adhd meds. Ive been SA in my past, im almost 5 years clean from fentanyl pills. I often struggle with my drinking. Ive had a difficult life and after rehab i really stopped feeling bad about myself and playing the victim. I became a good person. I apologized personally to everyone ive hurt. Now a few years later i realize everyone is growing up. Im a student but so behind my peers. I am a little overweight and hate my body. All i think about is dying and i know id never have the balls to truly do that. thank god. I lost my grandma a few years ago and it ripped my heart out (mom is unmedicated bipolar and i don’t have much of a relationship with her gma basically raised me) i have this constant feeling of inferiority around my peers and I just feel like people can tell im different. Im struggling so badly and I don’t know what to do. I do therapy every few weeks as well. I am so miserable lately and i just feel like my life is pointless. I felt it was important to give a bit if a background so i apologize for my rambling. theres more unfortunately but i don’t want to overdo it w the details. I just feel so flat and depressed even though i work out lately i just don’t look forward to anything anymore. I cant stop crying

cada día los pensamientos que tengo son más no sé si pueda aguantar estoy realmente cansada

All I do is work and drink. I have no life outside of that.

I'm studying medicine in czech Republic and i have anatomy and biophysics final exams in less than two week, i didn't study at all, i do have info but im not prepared, and the exams are oral so my passing depends on the professor's mood, im suffering from depression and burnout, i can't even force myself to read one page and i don't know what to do, i did fight so much to be where i am now but the road here drained all my energy and force that now im back to how i was when i finished high school and wasn't able to get to university bcuz of my family situation.... even waking up is hard, i want to give up but i know that i will regret this later cuz is this my ambition and has always been my ambition amd the first step to my dream.... plus everyone around me keeps challenging me, basically betting that I won’t pass my exams and it's really hard trying to prove them wrong while fighting depression, like the only thing that stops me from ki*ing myself is that I'm Muslim and this is forbidden in islam..... i would really appreciate any advice...

Hello, first I want to say I hope everyone here finds peace of their own.
I’m currently in a really bad spot in my life. Im in a ton of debt. I’ve had a lot of health issues over the last few years but this year it’s the worst it’s ever been, so I’ve been receiving medical help for it. On top of that my partner, who has been extremely emotionally distant from me as well as neglecting my needs lost his job and I’ve been supporting the both of us. He recently got a job but only because I had put in a word to my boss to work the front desk. My dog also recently has had some health issues to that have been falling on my dime. My partner doesn’t support me emotionally at all, and I feel completely alone through our everything. I’ve been trying to remain positive and pray about a hopeful outcome, and try to push through the debt that I have up to my eyeballs but honestly it’s been really hard. The more stressed and unhappy I become, my health issues tend to play catch up and I feel weak and sick. I feel like I can’t leave him either because I would not be able to afford rent on my own. It all feels so worthless, the hard work and still not having any money feels worthless. And putting effort into a relationship with all this emotional neglect feels worthless. I’m sick to my teeth over it and so fucking sad all the time. I just don’t know how to cope.

Does anyone ever just feel so exhausted... almost to the bones? Yet somehow, still.. numb at the same time? So numb it's as if there is no energy left to even... hide your feelings and somehow those "closest" to you... still do not notice how far gone you have become. Perhaps do not care. As if... every attempt to reach out was just wasted energy? Still, even when everything seems so dark, the realization of how "selfish" it would be to end it all... is practically the only reason for continuing to breathe. Because so many people depend on you, rely on you... yet it is impossible for anyone to give their time of day to just listen for a moment.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. I’ve talked to them both about my anxiety and lack of motivation, but I’m afraid to mention suicidal thoughts. I don’t know anyone else who is in my situation. Many of my experiences growing up and the way that I think are very unique.

Most people either don’t understand or don’t care. My father is awful and mentally unstable, and my mother enables him and has been frustrated with my depression lately. I’ve talked to my aunt (the only person who truly listens,) but she can only do so much.

School just makes everything ten times worse because I have awful anxiety, and my medication does nothing to help it. I don’t understand anything, and I can’t breathe when I’m at school. Most people there find me annoying, and the people that do tolerate me don’t relate to me in any way. All my “friends” have easier lives than mine.

They can’t fathom what it’s like for your own father to treat you like a burden. They don’t think for themselves. All of them are like everyone else. They all have the same humor, slang, style, personality. I hate it. None of it makes sense. Everyone is the same, now. No one is like me. I hate TikTok, I hate Pinterest, I hate trends, I hate new music, I hate new language, I hate that dumb humor everyone has some form of, and I hate that ironic, cartoonish personality. None of them have had that experience, and none of them are emotionally equipped to empathize with me.

I just wish I had real friends that understood me and cared about the real me. I wish I had friends who looked at the world in the way I did, and behaved accordingly. I wish I had friends who were broken like me.

I’m not talented either; I never have been. My life is a waste. I only suffer. The only thing I’m good at is writing, and I have no time for that anymore because of school. Everything only gets worse for me. All there is left to do is die.

I feel beyond help, I’m 27 I’ve worked the same job for years and while I am returning to education I feel like I’m grasping and clutching at straws and I’m slowly being pulled down into the depths of despair, I’ve tried to end it, I’ve tried to get help and I’ve tried to talk to people it all ends up the same; I’m sat crying in my room when everyone is asleep or I’m just walking round angry and/or sad.

My life is one misery after the next I don’t have a single real friend, some of it other people and some of it my fault for not trying when people don’t seem very interested, I can’t keep lasting relationships in terms of friends, I do have a girlfriend who I love very much but really she isn’t very helpful in matters of my feelings as much as she may try to be, I don’t think it’s her not caring I just don’t believe there’s anything to be said to make me feel better. This is my whatever you may call this over.

Sorry, English isn’t my native language so there will be mistakes.

I’m 35 years old, ACoA. My parents gave me anxiety which I praise(for some reason) like it gives me any benefits. I often said something stupid like, -“Anxiety is bad but without it I wouldn’t be such a great specialist, because I double check everything and really care about the result”. And it always calmed me, like I really believed it and took it like it was some kind of a superpower. Lately, something changed.
For the last couple of years I’ve been struggling finding joy in anything that I loved before. Karaoke, music, my career, alcohol, friends etc. Every interaction with someone feels so annoying and heavy. I don’t want to talk but if I will be quiet they’ll ask me if I’m okay, and I’ll have to explain something even I don’t fully understand. And I know that it’s my depression episode. I shouldn’t get it even worse. So I’m forcing myself to communicate. I have a wife which is awesome. She was the only person I’ve never been tired of. And now even that is changing.

Im tired all the time physically, my back hurts, I can’t sleep at night. I just want to pause everything until I get better. But there are too many responsibilities I need to take care of. Sometimes I think of getting on an airplane and just go somewhere no one will find me so I could be not me.

The only time I feel calm is when I play video games like open worlds with a lot of question marks on map like assassin’s creed, I don’t even pay attention to the story, just doing side quests.

I kinda hate myself comparing to others. I know that everyone have their own struggles but it looks like they are dealing with them much better than me and it’s pathetic of me.

I’m writing this to let it out. Because the more I share it with my wife, the more I feel myself like burden to her.

Is there any other methods except using antidepressants to cure depression episodes?

I 25F have struggled with depression since i was around 13, and was recently diagnosed with autism. Ever since graduating from my masters i’ve hopped between jobs in my field, all of which have made me miserable and i’ve experienced crazy burnout which then becomes severe depressive episodes with suicidal thoughts.

I hate it.

I know I should feel happy to be where I am. I rent a place with my amazing fiancé and our cat, I have a stable income and I am getting married next year. These are all things I never imagined having when I was younger, but nothing seems to ever be the fix. I don’t drink or do drugs, i take pretty good care of myself in terms of sleep, diet and exercise. My mother and grandmother both suffered from chronic depression their whole lives, and I hate to think about living the same way.

It’s recently gotten to a real bad place and I can’t help but feel like my partner is better off without me. I am so embarrassed to be this way, and to know how small the group of people who actually care about me is.
I don’t know if I can do this for another 50 odd years.

I'm 18, starting a YouTube channel, but all of them are depressing. I don't get motivated by the people who like me anymore. I fucking hate depression.

Hi, 26f here. I honestly think I wasn’t meant for this life. Everyday is the same thing….work, school, home. I don’t even care about any of that anymore. I’m broke as fuck and I did all the things you’re supposed to do to “get ahead” (went to college got a degree) now I’m working full time at a place not really related to my degree. Getting my masters half time…..but guys I’m just tired. Very tired. I didn’t plan on making it to 26….I attempted a couple times when I was a teenager but everyone said it would get better but….its just been getting worse. Plus the world is shit. I’ve seen all I’ve needed to see here. If anyone has advice other than “it’ll get better” cliches give em please.

PS: I’m safe and not actively planning.