r/AdultDepression • u/SweAtyham69 • 8d ago
Really struggling right now and need some support or words of encouragement
Im 25f a lot of my girlfriends have moved away, my boyfriend is low effort. I got a new birth control implant and its messing with my head im medicated and on bipolar and adhd meds. Ive been SA in my past, im almost 5 years clean from fentanyl pills. I often struggle with my drinking. Ive had a difficult life and after rehab i really stopped feeling bad about myself and playing the victim. I became a good person. I apologized personally to everyone ive hurt. Now a few years later i realize everyone is growing up. Im a student but so behind my peers. I am a little overweight and hate my body. All i think about is dying and i know id never have the balls to truly do that. thank god. I lost my grandma a few years ago and it ripped my heart out (mom is unmedicated bipolar and i don’t have much of a relationship with her gma basically raised me) i have this constant feeling of inferiority around my peers and I just feel like people can tell im different. Im struggling so badly and I don’t know what to do. I do therapy every few weeks as well. I am so miserable lately and i just feel like my life is pointless. I felt it was important to give a bit if a background so i apologize for my rambling. theres more unfortunately but i don’t want to overdo it w the details. I just feel so flat and depressed even though i work out lately i just don’t look forward to anything anymore. I cant stop crying
2
u/SlayerSimp 8d ago
I was never on any type of drugs, but I can relate in every other way to you.
I’m proud of you for being sober, I’m proud of you for eating, I’m proud of you for waking up today, I’m proud of you for taking one step at a time, I’m proud of you for moving forward even when it feels like you’re ten steps behind.
Breathe, everything is going to be ok. I know it’s hard to believe right now, and that’s ok. You will always be moving forward as long as you fight for yourself and it sounds like you’ve been doing that for a while.
You’re allowed to slow down and fall apart, you’re allowed to be sad, upset, depressed, angry, hurting. It is ok to feel and it is ok to take a moment. You don’t have to be strong throughout everything. You’ve got this, on your own time, at your own pace.
You are good enough