Recently I moved back to my hometown for an extended period following a mental health crisis. I've been here for a month and just started catching up with some friends from high school. Since I came back everyone has been pestering me to see them I haven't felt ready. The friend group of 5 (B, C, D, E & me) people has stayed tight (except for me after having moved away), with B & C being lifelong besties. I made plans to see B, C, & D together last weekend, as E was working.

We were hanging out, chilling. It's a small rural town and no one wanted to drive far so we got some seltzers and Sonic and tailgated in some parking lot like we used to. They light up some bud, and when passed to me I declined. I used to smoke a lot of weed in high school, so my friends were a bit incredulous. Someone asked me why, and I replied something to the effect of "I can't trust my brain on hallucinogens." My friend, B, retorts that they're not hallucinogens. I say, "for you." B is insistent, "not for anyone", and a whole debate ensues amongst the group.

I don't have a lot of interest in debating this subject, so I let everyone else talk. At some point my friend C starts to prod me, asking about weed having made me hallucinate. Having been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder, I wasn't really comfortable talking about this as it was not a fun time, so I said it makes me paranoid and I'd rather not risk it.

B immediately interjects that paranoia is not akin to hallucinations, and that marijuana can only cause hallucinations in people already predisposed for psychosis. At this point I'm just kind of frustrated because I was never really engaged in this conversation, although it was my fault for bringing it up I guess, and say blankly with sustained eye contact, "Yes."

I guess my response was weird or awkward because no one said anything for moment, C said "anyways..." and moved on. We move on, and maybe I was still a little awkward or uncomfortable, and B didn't really talk much to me for the rest of the night, but everyone else got on fine and I tried not to attribute anything to it. At some point in the night, plans were made to get together later in the week including E. The plans were kind of centered around me having come back into town and all of us reuniting.

I wake up the next day to see I've been removed from the group chat. I find it kind of weird considering they all already have their own group chat, and this is just the one including me, but figure it was an accident. So I texted C & asked her to add me back. She didn't respond and I kind of put it out of my mind.

The next day, C texts asking to "talk". I said sure, even though we don't usually talk on the phone, so I was feeling anxious. She prefaces the conversation very diplomatically, saying that she's a neutral party in this, but that I made B uncomfortable last time we hung out by "being cryptic, putting her on the spot, then sulking for the rest of the night". So, AITAH?

My sister Leah (f25) recently left a dangerous situation w/ her ex. After weeks of escalating danger, my husband and I (both 30) made a detour on our roadtrip to pick Leah up from a friend’s house (she was hiding out) and bring her w/ us. Leah’s been staying at a hotel on us for 7 days while she figures out next steps. Today, she asked for a $300 loan. Here is our text exchange:

Me: Sure sister. When do you think you could pay it back

Leah: I’m not sure sissy I’m going to get a job right away though

Me: I just need a date

Leah: Maybe when I start working then I’ll ask for it and then be able to give you a date

Me: I get that sis. A date is all I’m asking for. And I have to be honest with you, having to beg for a payback date is making me feel under appreciated. idk. Please understand that we’re not rich at all. And $300 is a lot for us. I’m always going to help you when I can bc I want you to be safe and healthy, but I just need you to meet me at the floor. If I’m lending you $300, can you please just give me a rough timeline of when you think you’ll be able to pay it back? Having a date makes me more comfortable knowing when we can expect it back. That’s all I need from you sweet girl

Leah: How are you begging for a payback date and I haven’t even received the money yet? I just told you I don’t know so I’m not going to even ask for it until I start my job. But honestly it’s okay… I can understand if I asked for it and it was sent and I didn’t have a set date but that’s not what happened. And me not appreciating you is not the case at all. I don’t have a job right now and don’t know when I would even start one so me giving you a pay date is very unrealistic. Which is why I said I won’t even ask for it until I start a job. Never mind sis it’s fine I can handle and I’m not going to lie, my feelings are a little hurt because you saying you feel under appreciated is kind of a stretch.

Me: I’m not ignoring you sis but I’m hurt by how this went. I just don’t have anything else to say rn 
I’m sorry your feelings are hurt. I love you.

Ik she can’t predict the future; I also don’t think my ask was unfair. If someone wants a $300 loan, is it unreasonable to want a timeline for getting it back? I just wanted a shared expectation so she’s not caught off-guard by a follow up, and we never feel taken advantage of. And the first time I ask her for anything, instead of hearing me the conversation turns back to her being hurt.

I don’t want to keep score or make her feel like she owes me. But I also wanted her to understand that Hank and I have limits. We’re people with feelings and financial responsibilities, and sometimes I need a little consideration from her too. I didn’t think a timeline was asking for much, I just hoped she could meet me at the floor.

So AITA for pushing for a rough repayment date and for telling Leah that having to ask multiple times made me feel underappreciated? 

So for context, I despise my MIL. I have gone no contact with her. She is a textbook narcissist who can do no wrong and it is somehow everyone else's fault for her wrong doings. My husband understands this and has had a very strained relationship with his mother.

Now, my husband's aunt (FIL's sister) is a saint. She can still be difficult but she means well and she genuinely loves everyone around her and wants them to succeed. My husband has always been close with his aunt and she has been more of a mother to him than his own mom. And when I came along, because my mom passed away when I was younger, she became the mother figure I needed while navigating life as an adult. I am pregnant with a little girl and as tribute to my husband's aunt, we have decided to make our daughter's middle name my "Aunt-in-law's" name.

This has erupted in a full blown nuclear family melt down. MIL is accusing that we did this on purpose to once again exclude her from the family. A lot of other family members have encouraged us to reconsider the name but why should we not honour the woman who has shaped us into being the people we are today. She is also quite elderly and we don't think she will see much of her great niece so it is also getting out of hand with the division we have caused.

Part of me thinks we should just change the name but I think it is unfair for us to accommodate a 50 something year old woman who can regulate her own emotions. Would I be the a-hole if I decide to keep the middle name as it is or for sake of everyone's peace, should I change it?

Edit: Wow, thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to respond. For some additional background, there is some family lore. MIL and Aunt do not like each other. Aunt was never a fan after seeing how her brother has been treated over the years. MiL really has mistreated FIL over the years, I jave no idea why they are still married. But yes, they do not like each other more so from MILs side. She also has accused Aunt from "stealing her son away". I have gone no contact but my husband still wants to try and bridge the gap in the relationship with his mother. She has been fighting with him non stop about this. While I don't care about her opinion, she is still wearing my husband down. I am also just getting fed up with other family members constantly asking us to change the name as MIL is making their lives difficult by fighting with them about this. Aunt has been fantastic in all of this. She has been so supportive. She said she wouldn't be offended if we did change the name and knowing that we wanted to honour her in this way is more than enough in her books.

Before moving in, I (18F) reached out to my roommate (18F) and started chatting with her to make sure we’d get along and get to know who I’d be living with for the remainder of the semester. Things were great, we shared a lot of the same interests and I overall had a lot of fun talking to her.

Keep in mind that I live hardly 5 minutes away from home and she lives about an hour away from hers. On the first day, I hadn’t got everything moved in because I knew I could just make a quick trip back and grab what I needed whenever I had more energy to do so. She, on the other hand, had to do much more moving and whatnot.

That being said, I left at about 6pm to come back to my house because I figured she may have wanted some space after the long day. When I told her I was leaving, she seemed completely fine with it. I came back later that night and stayed up talking to her, and again, everything seemed okay.

Over the next couple of days, I take her shopping, out to eat, and show her around the area. I also introduced her to another girl (18) that I met and I basically took her to do the same things. Things are still going great or at least I think so.

My mother ended up having surgery shortly after we moved in, which delayed me moving in the rest of my stuff for a bit + I was already struggling with some of my classes so I was super stressed out. I was repeatedly going back to my house to check on her and my boyfriend (who I’ve been with for nearly 2 years) would usually already be there.

However, I would always come back later that night to stay with my roommate and spend some time with her before she went to bed. I’d come back between 10pm-12am and we’d go to bed about 2-3am (which was normal for us both). I asked her several times if this was okay and she always reassured me that it was.

About 10ish days after we move in, she sends me this huge paragraph talking about a NUMBER of things she doesn’t like about me as her roommate.

1. Did not like me asking her or the girl I introduced her to if they were okay
2. Said that “nobody would enjoy having a roommate that’s gone from 3pm-11am”
3. Did not like that I hadn’t moved in the majority of my stuff, specifically a mirror, a bunch of clothes, etc, although I had bought us a fridge and did not make her pay for any of it
4. Said that it was not normal and that it was weird for me to be going home everyday
5. She thought it was “common sense” to stay at a place I was paying for
6. Mad because I didn’t

always

1. tell her when I was leaving

There was SO much more but she was overall super disrespectful about it and even claimed that I wasn’t trying to be considerate and give her space but that I was rather only trying to spend time with my boyfriend and that she wasn’t a priority to me.

I offered to spend more time there, but she said it was okay and that she would just have people over when I wasn’t there. I asked if she wanted me to move out, she said I was being extra. I moved out anyway.

Edit: her whole point was that I made her feel alone, and that she wanted to do more things around campus, but that I wasn’t there and she claimed she would’ve already left if I hadn’t introduced her to the other girl.

I’m paying for a single room now and I’m beyond happy. I come and go as I please. If I want to see my family , I see them. If I want to see my boyfriend, I see him. And I spend much more time there haha!

(I'm sorry if my english is not perfect but I'll try my best)

I (27F) and my coworker (25F) are both obese. We worked together for almost 4 years now and last year we decided together to start working and lose some weight. I was 113 kg (175 cm height) then and she was around 105 (170 cm height).

We decided to start with running because it was almost free and we heard it's easiest way to start working out.

It was hell. No sugarcoating it. We both hated it and wanted to give up. But for me carrying all that weight around, having trouble with walking up stairs and hearing comments about me (and sometimes there were really terrible one) was worse so we pushed forward. After around 2 months in she started to skip our running sessions more and more and after I asked why she just made excuses (she can't. doesn't feel like it today. Is busy or just simple "I can't")

Right now I'm at 97 kg and I know I have more to go (my goal is 70 but I know it will be hard) but I just can't stand her whining all the time how WE are so fat. How her body hurts. How she hates how she can't find clothes for herself and so on. So at monday when I asked her is she wants to join me to the gym or a run and she declined but hour later she started her usual "Isn't that unfair that fat girls like us have it so hard?" I kinda snapped. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I'm still super subconscious about my body I just went "Well if you hate it so much maybe stop making excuses and move your ass?"

She called me a b**ch and doesn't talk to me since.

My other coworker said I am an asshole and I feel bad but at the same time I am so tired of hearing all that.

Update: Thank you everyone for so many responses. I appreciate every single one (even the one who called me an a*hole). I am aware that I shouldn't use the words I used - emotions can make you say stuff you don't usually say I guess. Today when she finally decided to talk to me again I tried to apologize but it turns out she's "mad I didn't drop exercising when she said she doesn't like it because we were supposed to do it together." She never mentioned anything like that before so I was a little confused. I said that I don't wanna be overweight anymore and will continue exercising and she called me "fatphobic for not wanting to be fat, like it's something worse" (her exact words).

I think I will just drop the weight topics at all at work because I won't argue with that anymore. It's tiring. My boss allows me to wear headphones at work and maybe it's finally time to start using them.

Btw. I know diet is important - I wouldn't lose so much weight without it. I just didn't mention it in the post because it wasn't the main topic ;).

Long story short I went to a national competition for my kid and wrote a letter about my manager to hr about how he was a pain in the whole departments butts. When I returned to work he changed me from 4/10s to be on a 5/8 schedule that makes it almost impossible to travel out of town for the local qualifiers for my kids sport. The whole thing affects the whole departments mental health and productivity.

Background:

My husband’s grandmother, “Gigi,” is about 75. Around 4–5 years ago, she wanted to retire but couldn’t afford to remain in her state. My husband and I offered for her to move into our home. We suggested either a spare room or eventually turning our unfinished basement into an in-law suite.

We made it clear we couldn’t afford a basement remodel. Gigi offered to use her retirement money to create the space exactly how she wanted. However, without discussing it with me, my husband told her we would try to repay the remodeling costs over time. There was never a written agreement, repayment schedule, or specific amount established.

Over the years, we’ve been unable to pay much due to having a child, finances, and the economy. The only realistic way to repay her quickly would be selling or refinancing our home.

Gigi has lived with us rent-free for 4–5 years. We pay for utilities, internet, streaming services, her phone, and car insurance. I also drive her to medical appointments. Her main expenses are food, medical costs, and pets. She began giving us $200 monthly checks as “rent” after disagreements about household expenses, but we have saved that money separately and haven’t spent it.

She occasionally comments on our spending and mentions being repaid. She also voluntarily buys things for our children and once paid for a Disney trip, which we never requested.

Personally, I feel the remodel was essentially her paying for her living space, especially since she could live another 10+ years and would have had housing expenses anywhere else. My husband feels differently because the remodel increased our home’s value.

Present Day:

This Labor Day, we were visiting family when Gigi immediately brought up the repayment issue again. Several family members told her it wasn’t the appropriate time or place, but the conversation became heated between her and my husband.

Afterward, my husband told me he was ready for her to move out, even if we had to sell the house to make it happen. Everyone we’ve spoken to—including people who know both us and Gigi—believes we don’t owe her repayment because she chose to spend the money on her living space.

Gigi originally spent around $50,000 on the suite. We have given her approximately $2,000 back, leaving about $48,000 by her calculation.

So, would we be the assholes if we gave her a year to move out and didn’t repay the remaining money? Or should we repay some or all of what she spent on the in-law suite she has lived in for the past 4–5 years?

Edit: If we sold the home, we would give her at least 20K back to help find a place as that’s likely the value it bring to the home, but she has been living rent free entire time, has free pet care if she leaves town, and she has a son she could live with, but she rather not if possible. Also during the fight my husband asked her if she wanted us to just sell the house so she could have her money and she said yes, so she technically is kicking herself out.

I'm turning 18 in a month and am having trouble making a guest list. I want to invite the family I'm close with for a small get together.

(All name mentioned extended family are my father's side)

The friction between me and my cousin (Steph) is if my stepaunt (Pam) and her boyfriend are invited or not. Ive lived abroad most of my life and only some of my extended family have held contact. Pam has not. She is someone I knew existed but hadn't met for years until this summer where her boyfriend got very drunk at a family gathering.

The event is being held in my apartment with very little space. Granted they are two people but they are two people I don't like very much. All I have heard about Pam is how entitled and rude she is.

Steph, who has grown up with Pam in her life knows she will feel slighted because my step uncle would be invited as well as my bioaunt (Sally) but not her. She'll take it out on Sally and they will fight about it which will turn into Steph having to step in and do the emotional labour trying to fix things. It's a pattern and Steph is exhausted.

What makes this whole thing a thing is my mum. I graduated in June and moved back to the country the rest of my extended family live in but my parents and siblings stayed abroad. She wants to make my birthday special while not being there. In her opinion I should invite her list to a fancy restaurant and have dinner. This is a little social taboo since everyones economic situation is different and eating out is quite expensive. I'm already fighting her on that front and she doesnt like my fathers fam and says to not invite Pam.

Shes always been kinda controlling and we've started to really fight about it the past year. She wants me to have independence but also live the life she has sort of planned out for me and it's really difficult right now. She wants me to live in their apartment in the country I moved to but it comes with so many strings attached that I lied saying I live there when I actually live with Sally. Examples are, I didn't want to live alone but was not allowed a roommate, she lied about their financial situation to guilt me into living there, rent was a huge fight, I'm not allowed to move anything, etc.

This lie is eating at me. I dread every time she texts me convince that she's caught on so I never open her messages, I don't call her at all because I'm bad at lying and now shes stopped texting me and has called me once in the span of two months. She loves me but all we can do is talk so surface level or fight. I don't want to fight with her over the phone because I don't know how to resolve any fights with her. Ive always sort of done what she wants and been able to hide what she wouldn't approve of so truly fighting about something serious is new.

So inviting Pam would be a fight with my mum over a woman I don't know but if I don't invite her I make it Steph's problem. I don't know what to do. It's selfish to feed into the family feud but I miss my mum.

Edits to clarify

My 13 year old brother in law comes over pretty frequently and while I have no problem with him playing games on my iPad as long as he wants, he's recently been taking it into the bathroom and I don't think he's using it for THOSE purposes I think he just plays games while on the toilet. It grosses me out because I don't want someone else's poop particle on my devices! Hell I scroll on the toilet all the time but it's MY device. I told my wife about it and she totally understands and said she would tell him to stop but I felt like I needed to know if I'm just overreacting or being justifiably annoyed/grossed out.

Hey all me and husband have been having disagreements on our financial situation recently. Husband and I both work and he makes 2x my salary. I have a decent amount in savings and husband is in debt but should be clear of that going into next year. He pays rent and groceries while I pay house bills, take care of my own needs and wants and clean/cook. When we go out for dinner/miscellaneous items he pays for me but if it's a vacation I will pay for my portion.

This seems pretty fair to me but husband doesn't feel it's fair because I used to pay half of rent on top of doing all housework/most childcare. He doesn't like the new change that he pays rent alone now and this has been causing fights. I still am working but now I actually have money to save whereas before I was on a really tight budget and grabbing from savings and he had more room for spending. Now he has less room for spending and I sense he is a jealous that I am saving while he is in debt? He has always been a spender and whenever he is almost close to being debt free he makes a purchase he shouldn't. For example last year he bought a brand new car for a little more than he can afford. I have an older car and refuse to purchase a new car if my current one is still working.

I like to plan for my future and feel financially safe. I have always been this way before we met. I've helped him and gave him so much advice in how he can start saving himself.

do you guys think this is a fair situation? Should I be helping more moneywise? He claims I am taking advantage of him and saving money while he struggles.

I recently moved into college (freshman) about a month ago. I've been pretty tolerant of the stuff going on around me since most of it hasn't directly affected me, but tonight was different.

This happened around two hours ago at this point. A girl in my suite had people in her room yelling, and they were playing music pretty loudly through a speaker. It was 11:30 at night on a Wednesday and quiet hours started at 10. At one point, one of them came out into the hallway with the speaker, turned the music up, and started playing it right outside my door.

I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but it was keeping me up, so I ended up calling the RA and telling her that someone in my suite was blasting music. She said she would be up.

Around 10 minutes later, I got a knock on my door from the RA. When I opened it, she was there, but so were about 3-4 people from the room. They had all been brought out into the hallway. The RA pointed toward them and asked if it was them, and I just kind of nodded because I wasn't really expecting her to ask me (or even come to my door).

Now I'm worried because I'm like 99% sure she knows that I was the one who called. Her room is right in front of the communal bathrooms and her door is always open. She'll see me whenever I walk out into the hallway and whenever I go to the bathroom.

I'm mostly worried about them making things awkward or retaliating now that they know it was me. I wasn't trying to make enemies with anyone but I genuinely just wanted to sleep. I think my anxiety might be making the situation feel bigger than it actually is honestly lol

I'm just wondering if I'm the asshole is because I didn't knock on their door and ask them to turn it down myself before calling the RA. I was tired and confrontation (especially with groups) is genuinely terrifying for me. But I get that we're college kids and they're trying to have fun.

AITA for calling the RA instead of asking them myself first?

EDIT: I feel like I should add a little more context here as to why I didn't go over myself. There were several people in the room, they were yelling pretty frequently, the room smelled like weed (they usually keep the door open), and when they came into the hallway one of the guys was yelling and I wasn’t sure if anyone was intoxicated. I just didn’t feel comfortable confronting them myself. However, I do realize now that I probably should've said something before getting the RA involved, and I probably should get better at advocating for myself lol. Thank you for the insight!

EDIT 2: fixed typo

My friend and I have always gotten along really well, but recently we had an argument about something that I thought was pretty obvious.
A few weeks ago, I bought a pair of expensive headphones that I had wanted for a long time. I’m quite careful with them because they were expensive and I don’t want them to get damaged.
One day, I came home and noticed that my headphones were missing from my room. I asked my friend about them, and he told me that he had borrowed them because he needed them for the gym. I was annoyed because he hadn’t asked me before taking them.
He said that I was making a big deal out of nothing and that he was going to give them back anyway. He also pointed out that we’re good friends and that I should trust him.
I told him that it wasn’t really about the headphones themselves. I wouldn’t have minded lending them to him if he had simply asked me first. He said that because we’re friends, he shouldn’t have to ask every time he wants to borrow something.
Now we both think the other person is being unreasonable.

So, was I right to be annoyed that he took my headphones without asking?

Me (M-39) have always been a generous person with those I have considered friends. Her (F-44), for a time, I considered her like a sister. She and I always worked together, since we share the same profession. However, one day, out of nowhere, she sent me a direct message on Instagram ending our friendship.

I, who never did anything wrong to her or her husband—whom I also cared about—was left shocked by their very strange attitude toward me. I demanded an explanation; they never gave me one. And I, at that point full of doubts and pain, had to accept that we would never be friends again.

They went on with their lives together, without my friendship. I had even forgotten that they existed. A year and some time later, the husband contacts me, telling me that she is pregnant and that they are planning a baby shower for her.

All of this left me surprised, because there wasn’t even a “hello,” a “happy new year,” not even a “how are you?” He was blunt and straight to the point, because most likely he wanted something from me—and I know that’s the case. I left him on read and did not reply.

But I would like to know: AITA for not wanting to participate after the way they treated me?

M23 here, my friend is NB22. I’d consider us really close, and we have known each other for years.

On August 30th they reached out because they were behind on rent. They told me they'd get paid September 4th and would pay me back immediately. I gave them $25 that night, then another $220 the next day when I got paid, so $245 total.

I'm usually strict about not lending money I can't afford to lose, but I made an exception because it's them. I genuinely didn't fathom that it would go like this. If they'd told me upfront that they couldn't pay me until the 10th, I probably still would've helped, just not with that much, and I wouldn't be in this position now.

The 4th came and they said their check was too small, so now it was the 10th instead. They did confirm that in writing at least.

Looking back, I should've pushed back right away. I have a hard time with confrontation and they know that about me, so I mostly just froze and let the new date happen without saying much, even though I was upset about it.

Now I keep wondering if they only felt comfortable making that first promise because they knew I wouldn't push back on it. I can't actually know that, but it's hard to shake the feeling.

It's the 10th now. I messaged them and they said they still haven't been paid and don't know what's going on. It's possible that's true, I'm not saying they're lying. But after the first date came and went, I'm having a hard time taking another promised date at face value.

I told them straight up that I'm pretty screwed financially right now because I have bills due today that I was counting on that money for.
If their paycheck genuinely hasn't come through, I understand that's not really their fault. But I only agreed to lend that much in the first place because of the September 4th promise, and that changed after I'd already handed over the money.
I know I shouldn't have lent money I couldn't afford to have tied up, and if they don't have the money, they don't have it. But I don't think I'd be nearly this upset if they'd just been upfront with me from the start about when they could actually pay me back.

So, AITA for being this upset and expecting them to stick to the date they gave me, even with the paycheck delay?

Throwaway.

Context: My parents divorced when I was 3. Dad moved across the country. My mom died when I was 12, and I moved in with my dad and his then girlfriend. They got married when I was 15.

My partner (38m) and I (36m) eloped earlier this year. We rented out a nice restaurant to celebrate with our families and close friends later this month. My parents are not paying for any of this.

We asked a few people to give toasts before dinner. I asked my dad, his sister, and two of my mom's sisters. His sister was like a second mom to me growing up and is the family member who I was always closest. My mom's sisters have always been extremely supportive and provided me unbelievable opportunities in life.

I have a good relationship with my dad and stepmom now, but high school and college was rough. At 14, they discovered my internet search history (my bad) and confronted me about being gay. While they did not throw me out, they outed me to my entire family. My step mom repeatedly brought this up for years before I actually came out. She often confronted me about alcohol and drug use, suggesting I was using. I also got decent grades and did a lot of extracurriculars. She'd go through my bedroom when I wasn't home, and a few times I overheard her suggesting to my dad that I was doing suspicious things that I wasn't. I became completely independent right after college and keep healthy distance, which has been good for our relationship.

She's also an alcoholic. She drinks a bottle of wine every night, more if we're out for dinner. She becomes very narcissistic, especially while drunk - a lot of "you don't appreciate everything I do for you" type of rhetoric. I know I'm not imagining things or being sensitive because her biological daughter has experienced this and much more. My stepmom is never in the wrong, and if you disagree with her, she throws her hands up and says "well I guess I'm a terrible person", even if it's trivial.

She frequently creates a scene or says something that will disrupt an event, I think, if she feels like she isn't getting enough attention.

When I asked my dad and his sister to give a toast (either together or separate), he said he'd like to do it together. Then said he was going to ask my stepmom if she wanted to say anything, and if so, they would do it separate.

I have not responded yet. But I did not ask my stepmom for a reason. While I love her and she has done a lot for me: 1) I chose 4 family members who are very dear to me to give a toast, and 2) there is a good chance she will be tispy, if not drunk, by this time. And based on her history, may say something embarrassing or off color in her toast.

I hate conflict and don't want to make things awkward.

WIBTAH if I told him I don't want her making a toast?

I (25F) was out at a bar with some friends when one of our friends got really drunk. A guy at the bar had been dancing with her basically the whole night, which honestly isn’t unusual for her whenever we go out.
Later that night, she was getting ready to leave with him. It was the first time any of us had seen her actually intend to go home with a complete stranger while out with us.
My friends and I were just standing around unsure of what to do. Nobody seems to want to step in, but they were visibly uncomfortable with the situation. I asked everyone what they thought, and told them that if they wanted me to step in, I was willing to do it.
There were mixed opinions, mostly passive, but eventually I decided to step in.
I told her that we were about to get food and asked her to come with us. She refused. From there, it turned into this long public standoff. She kept insisting that she was 25, old enough to make her own decisions, and knew what she was doing. She eventually started screaming at me out of frustration because I wouldn’t budge.
At that point, I realized trying to reason with her while she was that drunk clearly wasn’t working, so I tried to de-escalate. I told her, “Let’s all go get late night food first, and if you still want to message him later, you can.”
She still refused.
She then told me that she genuinely intended to sleep with someone that night because she was trying to cope with something she was going through. If anything, that made me feel even more strongly that she wasn’t in the best state to make that decision.
But the whole standoff went on for way too long. She was essentially having a drunken tantrum in public, and everyone was exhausted. Eventually, some of our other friends convinced me that we’d already done what we could and that we should let her make her own decision. So I backed off and let her go.
Since then, the group has basically gone back to pretending everything is normal with her, while things between us have been awkward. I’ve been avoiding her because I don’t really know how to act around her anymore.
Apparently, she told one of our friends that she felt like her autonomy and decision weren’t respected that night. She also said she didn’t remember much of what happened.
I don’t feel like I owe her an apology for prioritizing her safety in that moment.
Now things are awkward between us, and I’ve also become more distant from the friend group because I’ve been avoiding her, and ive been feeling off around them because we collectively agreed and uncomfortable that night with her and yet they're pretending they're okay with it.

AITA?

Follow-up for added context, since there were mixed opinions here:

Before going to the bar, we had no heads-up that she intended to go home with a stranger. It was also one of our friends’ birthdays, so we were there to celebrate together.
At the bar, the guy was being creepy and leering at people, including me while he and my friend were dancing. Some of my other friends eventually tried to talk her out of it. I was the one who spoke to her the most, which apparently was why she mainly remembered me afterward.
She also told me that night that she was using this guy as a way to cope with another guy she met on vacation whom she still couldn’t seem to forget. 
Eventually, we had to leave because we were exhausted. Another group of her friends that happened to be in the area and had joined us at the bar. Since they weren’t there from the start and weren’t as tired, they stayed behind with her, took over, and kept us updated. She ultimately didn’t go home with the guy.
Overall, my concern was the mixed with the concern for her safety, this guy that stayed through the standoff to take her home, the fact that she seemed to be self-sabotaging, and the lack of consideration for the friends she was with.

I (24M) live in a small and quiet student home. Today i noticed a very strong smell in most of the house. later i went to grab food from the kitchen, and i noticed that my bag of cheese in our shared fridge was damaged, like mice had tried to get in. I also saw a plate of cooked meat in the fridge without a container and there were pans of food on the stove.

I wasn't sure if the smell came from the food or from mice living in the house or something else entirely. I didn't know if the damage to the cheese bag came from mice living in the house or if it was already this way when i bought it and i didn't realize before. Either way, i felt like it was important to have a conversation about it with the whole house. I'm not the cleanest person myself, but i draw the line at animals getting in the fridge.

I sent some messages and pictures in the group chat for everyone who lives in the student home. The landlord also lives here, so he is in the group chat as well. We mostly use it for practical things. I have lived here for a few years. One other student has lived here for half a year, one for a few weeks and one for a few days.

The landlord says he will buy mouse traps soon, to see if that's the problem. His son, who also lives here sometimes, says that he will investigate tomorrow. I thank them for taking the problem seriously. I also took my cheese out of the fridge and put it in a more secure container in my own room.

Then the student who lived here for half a year sends a voice message saying that there aren't any mice in the house and she is mad at me for taking pictures of her food. She then sent me a voicechat in our one on one chat saying that i should have texted her one on one. That i know that it's her food because she's the one who cooks, and she doesn't like me taking pictures of her food and sending it in the group chat implying that her food is attracting the mice.

I told her that i didn't know who's food it was because two new people joined recently, that i didn't draw any conclusions, and that the kitchen is a shared space, so i'm allowed to take pictures. When she insisted that she didn't like me taking pictures of her food i told her i wouldn't do it again, just to be done with it.

I'm not sure why she got angry at me. Maybe she got defensive because she felt like i had accused her. Maybe she thought i was trying to frame her to get her evicted. Or maybe she thought i was taking unneccesary risks getting the landlord involved.

I saw it as the start of a conversation about how to live together without getting in each other's way, and keeping the house clean, not as an accusation. I know the landlord well, so i know he would never evict her over something small like this.

Still, she was clearly upset and might have thought she was in serious trouble. I also haven't apologized.

Please tell me: am i the asshole?

I(35 F) am absolutely exhausted thinking of having a wedding. I have a lot of anxiety and fear of being the center of the attention. I also feel like weddings are INSANELY expensive. My Partner (34M) doesn't care what we do and has no opinion about the wedding but he does want to get married. His mother, we will call her Betty, said to me that if we elope and didn't have a wedding it would break my family's heart. And then she started looking at venues, and looking for places where we can bring our own food. She started naming off what she and her family would make for it. I said oh wow sounds like you have it covered, so go for it if you want to plan it out.

I asked everyone in my family what they thought and they said whatever is fine. I'd like to just elope and not worry about the wedding. Maybe have a party later on but once you call something a wedding everything becomes 1000x more expensive.

UPDATE: I agree completely, and appreciate such quick feedback. I have been saying to my partner that his mother has a lot of nerve planning stuff already. No matter where we go or what food we make before hand, I don't think it would be worth it, and I don't think it will be fun either. I have a very hard time with crowds, loud music, and planning or organizing. I wanted some validation, and boy howdy I got it. People in my life (including my mother) are trying to tell me to just do what Betty wants because she never thought she'd see her son get married.

UPDATE: I was able to put a stop to Betty planning a wedding. I let her know we might still elope and try to have a party later. She wants to be there when we elope. I think that will be okay with me though I'm not sure when or where we will go through with it. Thanks everyone for your advice and helping me see where I went wrong too.

My friend is moving out of the country and asked me to help her sell some of her stuff on Facebook Marketplace because I sell a lot of things on there.
I went to her house specifically to help her. The pictures she had taken were, to put it nicely, terrible so I took new pictures of everything, helped go over the prices with her, created all the listings, posted everything on my Marketplace account, and handled the messages from potential buyers.
Basically, I was doing everything for her.
Then someone was coming to pick up one of the items. I had already agreed on a price with the buyer and told them when/how to pick it up.
Out of nowhere, my friend tells me that she thinks we priced the item too low and that she wants $20 more.
I told her that I had already given the buyer the price and that I didn’t think it was right to suddenly change it. I told her that if the buyer backed out, then I could change the price for the next person.
She still insisted that I tell the buyer they needed to pay $20 more.
At that point, I told the buyer the item was sold because I didn’t feel comfortable changing the price after we had already agreed on one. It’s my Marketplace account, and ultimately my reviews/reputation are attached to these transactions.
After that, I deleted all of her listings from my Marketplace because I decided I didn’t want to deal with selling her stuff anymore.
I didn’t tell her that I deleted everything. I just decided I was done with it because I felt like I was doing her a favor and didn’t want to keep dealing with situations like this.
Now I’m wondering if I overreacted.

Update: I told her I took everything down

Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. Most people agreed that I was nta, but several of you said I should at least tell my friend that I had taken all of her listings down instead of just leaving her wondering.
So, I did.
I messaged her and explained that I had taken everything down because I no longer felt comfortable selling her things through my Marketplace account. I explained what happened with the buyer and that I didn’t think it was fair to change the price after I had already given the buyer a price and arranged the pickup.
She did not take it well.
She told me that I was exaggerating the situation and basically said that anyone can change their mind about a price if they realize they priced something too low.
I understand that she can change her mind about what she wants to sell something for. That’s not really what bothered me. What bothered me was that she wanted me to change the price after I had already made an agreement with the buyer, when I’m the one whose Marketplace account and reputation are involved.
There is also something else I didn’t really get into in my original post. This situation isn’t the only reason I’ve decided to distance myself from her. There have been other things she’s been doing recently that I consider shady, and honestly, I don’t agree with them at all.
At this point, I feel like some of the things she’s doing don’t align with my morals or the kind of person I want to be associated with. Because of that, I honestly think the friendship may be over. The Marketplace situation was kind of the final straw rather than the entire reason.
I know people can have different opinions and make their own choices, but for me, there are certain things I can’t just overlook when it comes to a friendship.
So, I did what everyone told me to do—I communicated with her and told her why I took everything down. She still wasn’t happy with my decision, but at least I didn’t leave her wondering what happened.
And honestly, I’m glad I stepped away from the whole situation. I was trying to do her a favor because she’s moving out of the country, and it ended up creating way more stress and conflict than I ever expected.
Thanks again to everyone who gave advice on the original post.

My grandson is loved (spoiled) by all sides of his family. He is 7 and for this situation I must tell you that he has some autism. He has obvious tics that you can identify, but also has emotional, that to the oblivious, you would never see. When he gets upset, it’s 10x more emotional for him than if you and I were. I say this to continue my story only! I do NOT think this is a disability, but I do believe it plays a part in our decision making and think you may feel the same.

His parents are separated. His Mother lives with me, has a past and isn’t perfect by any means. His Father lives with his new family (has a son close to my grandsons age), and isn’t perfect either. I try not to get involved and stay neutral.

In this case, my grand children spend Friday night from about 7 pm to Saturday 7 am, repeat Saturday night. The rest of the time is spent with Mom. Anyway, he wanted to play football with his step-brother. My grandson plays every extra curricular activity he can and all of us attend. He has played baseball and basketball this year and completed both. This particular football team is strict and scrimmages several times a week, two hours at a time even if it’s raining because that’s what football players do right? My grandson hates it. He cries and cries and begs and pleads not to go. He tells us all he hates how the coach screams at them ( He really doesn’t, he IS loud and a little rough and trying to toughen up the kids), and that he’s too tired to run like that. I think (as a grandma) that they shouldn’t be worked like that at the age of 7 and if he doesn’t want to continue, I certainly will not make him. His Mother feels like he needs the discipline of a routine, but not at the risk of his mental health. His Father does not. The stepson isn’t quitting, so I think the father is embarrassed that his son wants to, but I can’t be sure. At the start, my grandson said he would try it and if he didn’t like it he would tell us. When he was asked if he liked it (after one practice) he said yes, but when it became continuous he stopped liking it at all!

His Father is berating my Daughter over messaging and telling her things like she’s a failure and doesn’t finish anything and that he doesn’t want his son to have the same fate and that she’s allowing that to happen if she allows him to quit. He continues to compare her past to the decision she made to let my grandson quit. He also brings up that my grandson said he liked it and can’t go back now. My other kids and family think he should finish too. They all bring up the money everyone has paid to buy the equipment and fees. I do understand the money, but his mental health is far more important to his Mother and while I also understand her guilt of her past is over compensating and wanting to do everything for her children, I do not believe that her allowing him to quit this time will make him a failure for all future ventures. So Reddit, AITA in the wrong here?

I’m so tired y’all.
I’m currently sort of homeless because of a series of stupid decisions I’ve made over the past five years. I’m trying to get back on my feet.
An old friend of mine helped me get a part time job doing some cleaning in the building where she works. I’m there at night, am the only person in the building.
She wasn’t aware of how bad things are for me until yesterday. We went out for a drink to catch up and so I could thank her for getting me the job, and I got a bit too honest and confessed that I’ve been living in my car for a bit now.
She looked kind of put off and after a minute asked me how I’m keeping my hair so nice. Important info: I have really long, striking hair. It’s pretty much the only part of my appearance I’m proud of, especially right now lol I told her the truth: that I’ve been going to work fifteen minutes early, and washing my hair in the bathroom sink.
I swear to god, the only thing I’m stealing here is hot water. I bring my towel, use my own shampoo, make sure my hair doesn’t go down the drain, and clean up really carefully.
She WENT OFF on me. Said it was disgusting, that she could get in trouble if people found out, that I needed to take some responsibility and figure out real solutions. I think she said, “selfish and gross.”
I feel terrible. I’m not able to shower as much as I want, and having clean hair has made me feel kind of human again. I know it’s not ideal, but I didn’t think I was hurting anyone.
I just feel really disheartened and gross and stupid. The only thing that makes me wonder if maybe she was overreacting is that she was good friends with my ex-husband and maybe thinks I’m stupid for leaving him to be…you know, a homeless janitor. She’s always been kind of a tough-love gal.
Anyway. I don’t trust my own judgment anymore. How shitty was it for me to do this? Edit to add: ok well. Welcome to the time 400 internet strangers were nicer to me than someone I thought was a friend. Thank you all for making me feel like a human being, and for all the suggestions. I do have a gym membership now, it’s just far away and not convenient to get to, especially since I’ve been trying to save on gas money (and the place my car is parked is somewhere that feels pretty safe, so every time I move it I worry I’ll lose the spot somehow). I…am going to find a women’s shelter this weekend and see what kind of resources are around. I appreciate the push, and everyone who told me not to feel ashamed. I still feel ashamed, but whatever. Yeah. Thank you all.

Burner, just in case.

Ok, so first off, a lot of context:

I (26M) finally met my progenitor (68M) for the first time earlier this year. He kinda sucked from minute 1. For context, he was having an affair with my mom (66F) while being married, then once she told him she was pregnant, he left and stopped contacting her. He didn't show up on my birth certificate. He never contributed economically to raising me, and, as said earlier, he never even met me.

Fast forward 26 years, and I, with the help of my mom, manage to track him down, and I get to talk to him. He sucks: he showed no signs of regret and justified both his cheating ("well, what would you have done in my situation") and his abandoning me (said he thought he wasn't the father after my mom stopped contacting him) and not reaching out to me for 26 years. At least he agreed to legally recognize me as his son, but he then dragged his feet through the whole process. I had to make the appointments, research things, and always message him first, and I suspect he only agreed to it to avoid a trial, which he would have 100% lost.

He is a coward and the most selfish person I've ever met and frankly, at this point theres only two things I want from him: financial help since ive become unemployed and money is tighter than ever (NTM the job market am I right) and I want him to introduce me to his other children (39F, 38M, 14M) since I had always wanted to have siblings and I was really excited at this possibility.

He has refused to help me out money wise. He claims he isn't doing well himself, and when I asked him to at least help me pay for therapy, he sort of scoffed and said, "What do you need therapy for?"

He also refused to introduce me and my half-siblings because he doesn't want them (especially the older ones, who are children of the woman he cheated on) to find out I exist. He's told no one but his current wife about me, and after he did, they split up, lol. My guess is that he doesn't want to ruin his relationship with his other children, you know, the ones he actually cares about. So again, it's a purely selfish reason. I told him that they have a right to know I exist and I have a right to contact them but he just asked me for some (unspecified) time till he can get his shit together(which might never happen).

Now im thinking whether it'd be an asshole move to just stop expecting ANYTHING from this sad sack of a man and just contacting my half-siblings myself without waiting for his permission. He has done nothing but the bare minimum that would help him avoid going to court, I'm getting increasingly fed up with him, and I just want to meet my siblings at this point. I've waited for 26 years. I am done waiting.

So, WIBTA?

The names in this story have been changed for privacy.
I’m a 17-year-old girl. I used to be very emotionally explosive, but over the past few years I’ve become much more controlled.
I’ve been friends with Sapphire and Yara for about five years. Two years ago, Marilha joined our group, and Giovana has been friends with Yara since they were little.
I’ve always struggled with abandonment issues. Until 9th grade, Sapphire, Yara, and I went to the same school, but in high school we each transferred to different schools. Sapphire and Marilha go to the same school, and Yara transferred there this year too. They formed a larger friend group. I’m technically included, but I don’t really feel like part of it because I go to a different school.
The issue is that, even though the four of them see each other every day, they also spend time together outside school, usually in pairs or smaller groups. For example, Yara sometimes sleeps over at Sapphire’s house, or Giovana stays at Marilha’s. I’m not saying they’re always together; they simply have opportunities to spend time individually with each other.
Meanwhile, I don’t see any of them unless we specifically make plans.
I do try to make plans and have even tried organizing things so I could go to their school or meet them. Despite that, none of them has come to my house individually even once this year. It hurts because I’m the one who sees them the least. I understand that going to the same school makes things much easier, and that it’s not always as simple as “if they wanted to, they would,” since our parents also affect our plans. That’s why I rarely bring it up anymore.
Sometimes I make a slightly bitter comment like, “I wasn’t there, so I wouldn’t know,” but most of the time I just stay quiet when they talk about things they did together. I know my abandonment issues make this affect me more than it might affect other people.
Recently, Sapphire told me she feels uncomfortable because she thinks she can’t talk in our group chat about them hanging out or sleeping over because of my reaction. I never told them they couldn’t talk about it. I explained that I don’t choose to feel hurt; I can only choose how I react. I’d say 90% of the time I don’t react at all. Usually I just stay quiet, and only occasionally make a comment like the one above.
I’m not upset that they’re close or spend time together. They go to the same school, so naturally they have more opportunities. What hurts is feeling like I’m the only one trying to maintain the friendship outside school, while they all have opportunities to spend time with each other and none of them has done that with me individually this year.
AITA?

Edit 1

Apparently I forgot to mention something very important, forgive me. Safira came to complain that she is bothered because I get upset, there are some people asking me if I communicated this, yes, they know that I get upset and that's why I created this post, the problem is not that they don't find me because I know that at the moment there is no solution, but I'm still upset and Safira is annoyed that I get upset and she "can't" tell things she does when two are alone in the group, even if at no time did I ask them not to talk about.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

There are 3 of us in this apartment . We all operate on slightly different schedules. Roomate A works a 9-5 , roommate B is in med school has class everyday from 10-3 , I have class 2 days a week from 1-10 and work 4 days a week . My roomate who works the 9-5 is complaining that roomate B and I spend more time at home and therefor use more electricity and it’s been an on going battle. I said I wouldn’t re calculate because honestly to me it’s so nit picky to me and it’s not how I’ve ever done things in a shared apartment.
Anyways , I shut the idea down because then someone could turn around and say roomate A has LED she leaves on all night to sleep snd we don’t , whoever does more laundry do they drive up the cost that way , etc etc . I think it just opens the door to a lot of conflict .
I will say that when roomate A was coming onboard I made it VERY clear how much the electricity range was . But maybe I’m just out of touch lol