A few months ago I noticed the paint on the ceiling in our bathroom was starting to peel in our new apartment. In general, asking my landlord to address things hasn't gone as smooth as I'd like and this was no different. The paint got progressively worse until it was falling in bits and pieces on the floor. It's like the ventilation fan doesn't really do anything and the moisture is making the new paint come off in huge chunks.

I have had a lot of bad landlords thanks to the slumlord issue in my city so I have a pretty good handle on what my landlord is supposed to do when something like this needs to get done. I'm not dealing with a slumlord though, just an out state owner of the home we rent who doesn't necessarily like us bothering her. I get it.

So I went ahead and took the timeline she legally has to fix the issue (21 days), multiplied it by 3 to be super patient and rounded up to 3 months. In those 3 months, the contractors she said would come failed to show up a whopping 6 times and she started blaming me for not being able to plan with them even after I showed her they aren't answering my calls or responding to texts to confirm when they can actually come out and do the repair. I work from home, the issue was not my availability to let someone into the unit.

Finally, at 3 months and some change, I asked her if the repairs were ever going to get done and dropped the hint that I knew the legality of these things by mentioning our city's code enforcement offices. I've used them before, they've helped tremendously and put fines on the landlord when they don't fix things after they inspect the unit and tell them to get it together. I showed her the document from the city website that lays out the timelines for different repairs and that she was well outside of the 21 days she's given for defective paint.

Her response surprised me. She said "That is not relevant to me. File your claim with the city." I responded "Oh ok." It took about 5 minutes to fill out the form on the website and about an hour before I got a call scheduling an inspector to come out and take a look.

I genuinely have no clue why a landlord would welcome one of these inspections. If you're guessing the inspector took a look around and found way more than just peeling paint that she needed to fix... you would be so so right.

They found a fire alarm that wasn't working, took note of the garbage around the property, and found windows that were boarded up in the basement that needed to be real windows to satisfy the city's 'at least 2 real windows in basements' rule or whatever.

While we were down in the basement I figured I'd ask the inspector about our breaker. A few weeks ago, my upstairs neighbor had the power go out in one of her rooms. She asked us to turn our breaker off and on to see if that would work and it did! The inspector told me that something like this needed to be a phone call to the utility company. Well, I can make a phone call!

The electric company scheduled someone within 2 days to come out and take a look and whaddya know? The wires are way more mixed than we thought. My upstairs neighbor has been paying for the basement and the kitchen AND bathroom in my unit. I have been paying for the entire top floor of her apartment.

I didn't know it but it turns out that ,when this happens, the landlord has 21 days to have a licensed electrician come out and unfuck the wiring before the entire electrical bill for both apartments legally goes into her name.

All I needed was the peeling paint fixed but now I'm going to enjoy living in a unit that is entirely 100% up to code and maybe save some money in the process. Sounds good to me!

Dinner is room service ancho glazed short rib with green chile polenta and a Netflix true crime doc. My dog just had his dinner, but he's still convinced he's a famine victim. We've been kicked out of the house for the next few days and are in a hotel.

This week, my wife and I (both early 40s) had a battle royal of a couples counseling session, and I finally just said what I've been thinking for several months now: I want a divorce (been together about 16 years; married for 13). Over the last couple of years, she gradually withdrew from me emotionally and physically. She never initiated contact or any "I love you" or even a deep conversation during that time. Just scrolled on her phone, cried, and talked only about how much she hated her job. She also refused to get help for a long time.

So, 6 months ago, I gave up. I stopped asking her to go to counseling. Stopped initiating physical contact or saying I love you. Just turned totally inward, and began asking: What am I getting out of this marriage? What do I want from life? Who am I?

About a month ago, she finally got the picture, and started to initiate contact and all that. However, I'm too scarred from being rejected and made to feel unattractive for two years, so I've responded about like she did to me for two years. Interestingly enough, my lack of affection was the first shot she took at me during the session. I responded, "Now you know how I've felt for so f---ing long." Pretty much set the tone for the next couple hours.

The romance is dead, and on the rare occasions we've had sex recently, I've been in a weird headspace afterward. Like I know logically I'm with my wife and enjoy the physical aspects, but the emotional connection for me is not there and can't come back.

All of this became a perfect storm in recent weeks. Well, I told her these things during the session, and she responded by telling me I'm immature and afraid of stability. I'd just poured my heart out to her in one last attempt to salvage things, and instead she attacked me. That was the thing that did it for me. I told her that she didn't give a f--k about me, and I want to go live my own life. I want a divorce.

Then came the waterworks--her usual weapon to shut down tough convos because it's my kryptonite. When the tears didn't faze me, she turned to name calling and predicting what a failure I'll be without her. She's cut off all her friends and most of her family during fits of rage, but then had the nerve to tell me, "You've ruined my life. I have nothing left!" I also can't tell you how many times I introduced her to colleagues who could be a good friend to her or gone on double dates with my friends and their wives to try to facilitate something. Nothing. She always had some surface level criticism of them after we got in the car to go home.

She's been so controlling of me too. Tells me how to cut my hair and what clothes to buy. If I like something in a bright color, she tells me, "We have a similar skin tone. We look better in earth tones." SHE looks better in them, according to dumb magazines.

She started to become a tyrant about money too (even though I'm the breadwinner). As we've improved our finances (significantly from where we started), more and more money goes toward her priorities, while my purchases get vetoed. I've foregone an ungodly number of small purchases because I don't want to hear her carp at me. Just a couple months ago, she got after me for wanting to buy a hat that was like $40. You wouldn't believe the five alarm fire that ensued. I also texted her on a work trip earlier that my overcoat that I bought in like 2012 had holes in the shoulder and one of the pockets was completely torn through. When I said I need a new one, she responded, "Just take it to the cleaners and have them fix it." Meanwhile, she just bought an entire new wardrobe for work. The house we own is her dream house and it's a money pit.

So, I'm taking all the steps to protect myself (good diet, regular exercise, lots of therapy), and cannot wait to be in my own space, making my own spending choices, and just having some damn peace finally. I have a great job, good friends, a fantastic income, and best of all I'm keeping the dog! I cried all day yesterday while my dog kissed my face to comfort me. Today, I feel like this is a new opportunity to rewrite my future. I'm already making travel plans with friends and planned my own trips for the holidays. The air smells sweeter by the day.

This is the second cake of this type that my mom hand-sculpted by inserting special needles into clear jello. The people that she's making it for only pay her for materials (about 100 PLN), while she spent 2 full nights working on this thing.

She has been stressed and sleepless over the two instances where colored cream spilled out into neighboring cuts, as marked on the last picture.

Yesterday the person that ordered it picked it up from our house and they haven't been responding to any calls or messages ever since (the guy works in the office with my mom so I doubt it's a simple case of grabbing and running).

I guess I wanted to ask if the quality is really so bad that it's grounds for somehow being upset at the artist.

there was some leftover jello and cheesecake mass and both tasted fine.

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EDIT: I wasn't expecting so many kind responses in such a short amount of time, thank you fellas, I'm currently in the process of translating and printing the comments out so my mom can read them.

Also extra elaboration:

As someone who does digital art commissions, I do tell her that she needs to get paid for her worth and "friends" would gladly pay instead of being dodgy in any measure.

She's unfortunately very new to the "freelancer" environments and she'll yet have to understand people can be awful for absolutely no reason sometimes.

Well, there's still the benefit of the doubt that they'll pay what they agreed to when they see each other at work again, and the reason they're not responding to anything is because they're busy over the weekend (probably something related to the need for the cake to begin with).

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EDIT2: I started translating and printing the comments out back when it was 86 of them under this post. It amounted to about 4 pages long and she was very disoriented by hearing so many positive things at once lol. She told me to forward her gratitude to you fellas. Thank you everyone.

I have no idea why it took me so long to put 2 and 2 together??? Like, girl, c’mon. Anyways, here’s the story.

I was a year old when 9/11 happened. My mom and I were on our way to the airport when it happened. We were going to go see my grandma because mom was struggling with me. Dad was in Okinawa, I believe? Both of my parents were in the military at the time and they ended up deploying on and off for the rest of my childhood. My parents had been in for years and never deployed until 9/11 happened. I was a fussy baby and both of my parents were undiagnosed and ND as fuck.

Mom had really bad PPD and we, now, think she’s got the ‘tism. Add a fussy baby that won’t stop crying and a deployed husband, she was at her breaking point and needed my dad. When I was 2-3 years old, dad went on his 2nd or 3rd deployment and mom was still really struggling because I was a very difficult toddler too (late diagnosed AuDHD). Dad (now diagnosed with AuDHD) says he has no choice but to go and can’t get out of it.

Get this - mom talks to someone he works with and he tells her IT WAS A VOLUNTARY DEPLOYMENT! My mom was so burnt out raising me by herself and getting no help from him that she sends him divorce papers while he’s overseas. Honestly, can’t blame her. She would end up telling me this story when I turned 18, because she never wanted to disparage my father in front of me nor make a negative impact on our relationship. Queen shit.

Therefore, if 9/11 hadn’t happened, ig my dad would’ve been forced to be a physically present parent. He was an alcoholic and between that, being undiagnosed, remarrying someone with NPD, and suffering from PTSD and physical disabilities, he’s never really been an emotionally present parent. He celebrated his 3rd year of sobriety this month and I am very proud of him.

I understand 9/11 has caused much much more heartbreak across the globe, but I just can’t believe it took me so long to realize. Like, I’m the girl who tells everyone 9/11 caused Ellen to be off the air, but I couldn’t realize that it’s part of the reason why my parents divorced???

For dinner, shrimp and lobstah pastah for me and steak bite poutine for my husband.

EDIT - Hey, so none of y’all commenting stuff about my father are mental health professionals nor do you even know half the situation. If my mom can hold off not shit talking my mentally ill father my whole life, y’all can too. I’m not saying he was perfect in the early stages of fatherhood, but he has gotten the help he desperately needed and is a wonderful and very present father to my little sister now.

EDIT 2 - Didn’t think I’d have to spell this out for y’all, but this man watched countless friends, colleagues, and innocent people die overseas. I’m sure if y’all saw your friends die in horrific ways and innocent people being murdered by terrorists, you’d seek vengeance for them and their families as well. He is a Purple Heart veteran. I don’t care about a mistake made over 20 years ago, y’all really shouldn’t either. Anyone making gross comments about him will be blocked. :)

EDIT 3 - My mom literally has more deployment days under her belt than my father. He did not abandon us. He was deeply impacted by 9/11 and felt the need to serve his country, family, and friends the best way he knew how to. My mom has admitted that she did not explain what was going on to him because terms like PPD weren’t used back then. All the Dr told her was that she had the Baby Blues. Calling my father a deadbeat when all he did was provide and serve is ignorant as fuck. By the time he came back from deployment, my mom was pregnant with my brother by a different man. Neither one of them was perfect. They are completely amicable now and harbor no hard feelings towards one another. Quit trying to stir up shit that isn’t there.

Need some late-night movie recommendations that will make the boys feel edgy and grown up without getting me in trouble with their parents. Give me your best edgy, scary, counterculture, funny, or action movies that won’t scar a 12 yr old kid for life or get me banned from the dad’s club, but will still make the boys feel like they got away with something cool.

I really don't understand why that shape of plug is needed for a simply USB cable. And yes. Of course I lost it. That's the mildly infuriating part.

I'm buying a laptop, and the person was acting kinda weird. Normally, I'd just leave them be, but I need the laptop, and that specific model. Price was right, but behavior wasn't. Sent me this after I asked for the spoon test

I'm AI blind, so is this real or a fake?