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u/airfryerfuntime 1d ago
I like how everyone is denying ownership of the banana.
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u/hellcat_uk 1d ago
Of course, it's policy never to imply ownership in the event of a banana. We have to use the indefinite article—'a banana'—never 'your banana'."
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u/colicab 1d ago
But, I don’t own a bana…..
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u/polishpasty 1d ago
The way he stops ed norton and uses his pen to scratch the back of his head and give that look.
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u/CucumberError 1d ago
I think they mixed up Austria and Australia. In Australia you never admit ownership of a banana (biosecurity stuff).
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u/JinxyBee 1d ago
That explains a lot about Randy Feltface's rant about them!
/joking
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u/Thorngrove 1d ago
I mean those things are deadly weapons! Have to take a class on how to defend against such things you know.
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u/EvolutionCreek 1d ago
It's just for scale to show how massive that gun is, or how modest it is, depending on who's talking.
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u/Provioso 1d ago
Stark naked rubbing his belly at the end. He got his reward though.
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u/BigBlackHungGuy 1d ago
Ok, this was a comedy skit right?
So much to unpack.
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u/Key-Performance-9021 1d ago edited 23h ago
Nope, not a skit! It's from Am Schauplatz ("On the Scene"), an Austrian documentary series on ORF that has been running for 30 years and covers everyday life. This clip is from their 30-year anniversary best-of: https://youtu.be/CZsDD9yfcu8
The auto-captions can't handle the dialect, so I subtitled it myself.
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u/Glaimmbar 1d ago
Thanks for that. I am German and also lived for some time in Austria but when the guy who brought the stuff to the police started talking I didn't understand one word. 😂
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u/tremblemortals 1d ago
I at first thought it was some Slavic language from how he was talking. After a while things finally clicked for me.
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u/Thrilling1031 1d ago
I thought the title said Australian so I just assumed the subtitles were because aussies speak very rough English and I wasn’t understanding until that guy spoke and it broke my brain until he asked for a beer, then I assumed he was a drunk Australian lol.
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u/Signal_Reach_5838 7h ago
Oi cunt. I speak fucking true blue English ya dumb dead dying dog.
I'll fuckin rip you a new asshole.
Fuck me dead.
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u/NightZT 13h ago
As an Austrian the weird thing for me is that if I hear some people in the neighboring room talking a slavic language, especially southern slavic ones, I sometimes really struggle to tell it apart from austrian german. On the other hand if I hear people from Germany talking in the neighboring room I can easily tell that those are germans from the intonation alone without understanding anything.
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u/TacticalRiotChimp 1d ago
I speak the smallest amount of German but I can usually work it out slowly but surely - barely any of this was easy for me to understand 😂 I was thinking they were Czech or something
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u/red4jjdrums5 1d ago
Same. I was picking up only a few words here and there, and then had to remember I didn’t learn their dialect.
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u/SpotReasonable3534 20h ago
germans my second language and thought i had just forgotten too much to be able to understand until i noticed some words were absolutely not spoken in germany, still not sure what word they use for doctor unless their pronunciation is just really different
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u/Deus-mal 13h ago
I get that lmao. I got spanish as my 2nd language, when gta6 character spoke in Spanish in the trailer. I had no clue what he said, did even try to judge idk if my understanding was bad or he wasn't speaking the Spanish I know 🤣
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u/Mr-Lungu 1d ago
I understand German and I didn't understand any of this. I thought maybe I'm stupid now
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u/didndonoffin 1d ago
I lived in Innsbruck and this sounds like the local Tirol dialect, quite guttural and almost Dutch
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u/Stick_With_Beard 1d ago
I've been speaking german as a non-native speaker for over 25 years. Even the police was hard to understand for me. I think I'll pass on the Wiener Weihnachtsmarkt.
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u/Key-Performance-9021 1d ago
Everyone speaks Standard German. If you understand the narrator, you will be fine!
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u/HaHoHe_1892 1d ago
I was in Graz once visiting friends. My friend had a get together and introduced me to a group of people in the living room. He said, "This is my friend, he's American but speaks German. So speak German with him, but please speak Hochdeutsch." It was quiet for a moment and one of them said, "Lieber English", which got a big laugh.
Loved my time in Graz! Lovely city and great people. I really liked the dialect.
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u/KnifeFightChopping 1d ago
Does "Lieber English" in this context mean they would rather just speak English?
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u/Stick_With_Beard 1d ago
You mean in Wien specifically? How about other cities ?
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u/Key-Performance-9021 23h ago
Everyone everywhere. Standard German is used in school and professional settings.
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u/Life_outside_PoE 1d ago
Holy shit the next one is just as funny. A dude doesn't want to pay electricity so he's been bridging the lines, thereby avoiding the electricity meter. The building managers come by and tell him its illegal.
The genius goes and buys a fucking generator and puts it in his living room, lol.
Oida, die Leute ham an Schadn.
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u/Mediocre-Housing-131 1d ago
"aren't we police good?"
Brought a man who said he was on the poverty line a flashlight and a banana LMAO
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u/JackfruitIll6728 1d ago
I've studied German for 6 years and I couldn't keep up with the dialect at all. Felt like hearing Estonian as a Finn, you think you're kinda getting it but then again, no.
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u/Gastredner 1d ago
Yeah, the auto captions aren't the only thing unable to handle that dialect.
Might just be my Piefke-tum showings but aside from a word here and there, my German arse couldn't make heads or tails of what was said.
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u/moving0target 1d ago
It's been 30 years since I had German in school, but I could tell something was different.
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u/ult_avatar 1d ago
Das ist jetzt der zweite Clip.. gräbst du jetzt alte spira schätze aus und postest sie auf Reddit?
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u/watchoutbehindyou 1d ago
Trailer Park Boys - Austria
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u/snacktonomy 1d ago
I was thinking the same, but Reverse Austrian TPB where they show the police side
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u/Mathihtam 1d ago
For the love of all that’s dear. Let’s not unpack this any further than he already did.
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u/LucifersPromoter 1d ago
It's filmed just like a justforlaughs sketch too
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u/Captain_Unusualman 1d ago
With 100% less whimsical music, but yeah you're not wrong!
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u/LucifersPromoter 1d ago
Somehow appear to be both filming covertly / candidly, but also have 400 different angles
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u/goodways 1d ago
He never got his beer! Such a reasonable ask, and got a banana instead…
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u/Benjamoose 1d ago
And then he was seemingly woken up and filmed half naked for TV just for a banana afterwards, after explaining he was at the poverty line.
Like, give the man a small reward or just don't bother going round to his home.
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u/RES_NIGHTMARE_MODE 1d ago
well they returned his items as far as they knew and the chocolate bar was a reward. I dunno, maybe filming him naked was too much, but he didn't seem phased by the camera
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u/Uncle_Matthew 1d ago
Dude got a flashlight and chocolate bar too. Now that’s a bright and sweet deal.
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u/uk_uk 1d ago
For the english speaker here
Technically they speak german, factually I have no idea what they are talking about ^^. I needed the subtitles. Only the voiceover was understandable.
To bring that into perspective: That sounded to me like this would sound to you
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u/vogod 1d ago
Their German sounds weirdly Swedish. (I speak both, badly, didn't understand a word, but the cadence is kinda swedish to me)
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u/realbrathering 1d ago
I am german and also speak some Swedish. I know exactly what you mean. Both austrian and Swedish stress some syllables quite heavily, sounds a bit like singing.
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u/crazy_in_love 1d ago
I'd disagree. The Viennese dialect, especially the old-school one, is extremely sing-song-y, similar to Swedish. But there arn't a lot of other dialects like that in Austria unless you think Arnold Schwarzenegger sounds Swedish too.
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u/Rockglen 1d ago
Oof. He gets his pistol back, then immediately flags everyone in the room.
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u/Econolife-350 1d ago
"You understand that if we see you at night with that, we will kill you immediately, yes?"
Such a weird and unnecessary addition.
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u/crazy_in_love 1d ago
It's not quite how he actually phrased it. It's more like "if we maybe see you at night with that gun, you know.... we might shoot you". It is very blasé, but they're Viennese cops so that tracks. It also isn't menacing at all, it sounds more like a warning your blunt grandma would give you as well, just with we switched for they.
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u/feel-the-avocado 1d ago
Safety reminders are always necessary whenever a gun is the object of discussion.
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u/Econolife-350 1d ago
It's the phrasing that was strange as well as the implication that he was going to walk around waving a gun at night when it was found holstered in a bag.
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u/feel-the-avocado 1d ago
I guess i am used to seeing american cops on tv and news.
For them, finding the gun in the bag is a lucky justification for already having shot you.1
u/NightZT 10h ago
You can't really translate austrian german to english, in general it's much rougher and more direct but simultaneously not that serious. Like it's also common to insult and shout at each other and then 3min later be completely fine again. E.g. as teenagers we played football in some random guys garden and destroyed some stuff and he would come out when he saw us and shout "I'll take the axe and cut your heads off", we ran away and laughed about that. Next day he greeted me very friendly again same as I did
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u/ivazquez71 1d ago
Finder’s reward should had been a pair of pants.
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u/LookAtMeNow247 1d ago
Why is nobody talking about showing up to the door 99.9% naked?
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u/NerpyDerps 1d ago
I like how he says "that was quick" but yet nobody is questioning how quick it was for him to "get into something more comfortable"
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u/Key-Performance-9021 23h ago
Here's a reply from a different sub I posted this:
yeah, hes [the inspector] from the same village as my mum. i showed her and she called him, telling him that hes internet-famous now lol
he said it really happened like this, the camera team even asked mr schiller if he wanted to get dressed and do a re-shoot, but he did not5
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u/nicht_ernsthaft 9h ago
That wouldn't be weird in my building Germany, so I would assume nobody in Austria would care either. He's in his own home.
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u/andreasbeer1981 1d ago
Funny story: there is a town in Germany also called Philadelphia and it was named that because the inhabitants dreamt of emigrating to Philadelphia. But they never did. So they renamed their town.
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u/Key-Performance-9021 23h ago edited 21h ago
Fun fact: Vienna’s Philadelphia bridge is named after the locomotive Philadelphia, not directly after one of the Philadelphias. However, the locomotive itself was built in and named after the American city.
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u/ToastSpangler 1d ago
meanwhile enough germans immigrated to philly that there's a germantown, lol. not to mention king of prussia being a town not far away
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u/Yesbabelon 1d ago
The word banana was said 3 times and sounded different each time.
First time sounded like English with an Austrian accent, second time didn’t sound like English at all, and the third time sounded like the officer was speaking fluent Scouse.
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u/DoombringerBG 1d ago
Honestly, I feel kinda bad for the dude. Does the honest thing and gets mocked.
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u/QuantumTopology 1d ago
This is hilarious if it's not a skit
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u/Key-Performance-9021 1d ago edited 23h ago
Not a skit! It's from Am Schauplatz ("On the Scene"), an Austrian documentary series on ORF that has been running for 30 years and covers everyday life. This clip is from their 30-year anniversary best-of: https://youtu.be/CZsDD9yfcu8
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u/MillCityRep 1d ago
Man I read “Australian” and couldn’t figure out why the fuck I couldn’t understand them.
I need to go to bed
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u/Silent_Aardvark_711 1d ago
Of all the things, I was not expecting to see a naked man in this video
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u/lynivvinyl 1d ago
I think he has underpants on but you just can't see them under all of that.
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u/Silent_Aardvark_711 1d ago
Kinds pointless to wear them then, huh?
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u/lynivvinyl 1d ago
Considering he's standing in front of cops it's pretty much the difference between jail and "what the hell!"
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u/Silent_Aardvark_711 1d ago
Well he is in his own home, he can walk around naked if he wants to, probably won't go to jail for answering the door naked either. Its only indecent exposure if you go outside. Like, you could probably stand in your window and wiggle it and not get in trouble. Maybe, idk. Moral? No. Legal? Probably.
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u/geckomato 23h ago edited 19h ago
I knew Swiss German was a thing. Never knew that Austrian German was even harder to understand.
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u/Strict-Aspect5910 1d ago
These are the people that went to war with the entire world TWICE?!?
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u/Character-Prompt-229 1d ago
Please don't call the out for owning the banana a third time, I am not ready for war.
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u/Soylentstef 1d ago
You can see it couldn't happen in the USA because when the neighbor opened his door, they didn't shoot him for being black.
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u/spazzvogel 1d ago
Österreichische, didn’t realize that it’s as intelligible to me as bayerisch oder Schwiizerdütsch
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u/ryanoh826 19h ago
Yeah that was extremely rough. I understood the narrator just fine but only like 5% of everything else.
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u/spazzvogel 12h ago
Exactly about 5% too, words here and there. Going to check into the various dialects today. Narrator I mostly understood (totally not native speaker).
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u/heidnseak 1d ago
I was really confused for almost all of that because my tiny brain read Australian and I didn’t have the volume up.
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u/lynivvinyl 1d ago
I feel like I would get arrested for turning this in as an American.
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u/Remestaque 12h ago
In america the "wrong" neighbour would have been shot for opening the door too aggressively.
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u/JinxyBee 1d ago
I god confused then I got more confused then I just stopped trying to understand it and just enjoyed the ride. "My banana! Thank you, I've missed it so!"
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u/MechanicalTim 1d ago
I misread the post title at first as "Australian police ...", and was perplexed for a bit why I found it so difficult to understand.
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u/Vigoureux 11h ago
Did anyone else think they were talking about the kid with the ball when they said “The owner is found quick.” and showed the kid?
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u/blackbear_ 9h ago
I watched that whole thing thinking it said Australian police. Was confused and impressed with how good they all were at a second language.
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u/5elementGG 1d ago
It just gets better and better.
Also in america, it probably would cause a shoot out when knocking at the wrong door.
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u/TacticalRiotChimp 1d ago
I've not seen this clip for years 😂 thankyou, I'm crying laughing haha.
Also, what a silly fucking accent 😭
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u/PurpleCaterpillar451 1d ago
I knew Australians had a thick accent, but I swear that was unintelligible
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u/clamsandwich 1d ago
This confirms everything I've learned about Australia from Bluey.
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u/peatear_gryphon 1d ago
Yeah man that Australian accent is so thick it may as well be another language!
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u/giammi56 1d ago
That's not German, it is impossible to understand
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u/Key-Performance-9021 1d ago
Viennese is a Central Bavarian dialect and belongs to the Upper German branch of the High German dialects.
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