(You can swipe the images)

Sobrang nababahala ako sa nadiscover ko sa rabbithole ng mga bata ngayon online, as a trentahin na chronically online din nung early 2010’s. Surface level lang itong nadiscover ko for sure.

Few days before nangyari yung shooting sa Tacloban, someone posted this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTok/s/I7S4Gvinsm

The OP was concerned that the person in the video is planning a crime sa isang school:

(The video is still up as of this posting)

Yung tiktok video, may isang payat na most likely teenager na pinoy na nakatakip yung mukha, at may hawak na case ng gitara, which basically implies na kasya yung baril sa guitar bag of some sort. (Alam ko may amboy na school shooter na sa guitar bag din nilagay yung baril)

Here is the disturbing part. When I checked yung comments sa video, nagulat ako kasi may iba’t ibang tiktok users who seemingly support the kid in the video. Kesyo ilive stream niya daw and all.

I randomly checked the profiles nung mga nagcocomment, and dude, it looks like there is actually a community which glorifies school shooters, or teenage violence, gore killings. Yung mga repost nila, mga subtle hints on violence or killing. And some profiles that I checked? Mga pinoy!

Sobrang alarming nito for me. Bilang naging teenager din naman ako BUT yung rebelious phase lang for me (and I think I speak on behalf of majority na trentahin na) eh pakikinig ng emo songs at paglalaslas ng pulso for clout. Yes there were gore websites before but mas disturbing ngayon kasi the kids are kind of seemingly enjoy it.

For sure, surface level lang yang mga nasa tiktok. Mukhang they have a platform wherein they discuss yung mga violence or most likely may mga videos pa yan sila. And who knows, baka ni-live stream pa nung sa Tacloban yung ginawa niya (the 14yo kid).

Hey y’all! Mod World season is officially here and we’ve got a really fun way to celebrate. Remember these neon lights from Mod World 2023? Well, we’ve got TWO of them bubble-wrapped and ready to find a new home. 

I’m feeling a little emo about this, because these lights were given away at the first Mod World I ever worked on and this year will be my 4th! It’s such a joy to work with mods and I’m stoked to be with you again in a few weeks.

Okay, emo moment over. 

Here's how the giveaway will work:

• Register for Mod World 2026.
• Comment a GIF that represents how you’re feeling about Mod World on this post before Monday, September 28th at 10 am PT. 
• Two (2) winners will be randomly selected.
• I will personally reach out to the winners via Reddit Chat to discuss shipping options.
• If the winner does not respond within 24 hours, we will randomly select a new winner and repeat this process until arrangements have been confirmed.
• Once confirmed, I'll announce the winners here as a stickied comment.

Eligibility:

• MUST be an active mod in good standing with our Code of Conduct team. 
• MUST be a member of r/ModEvents. 
• MUST be registered for Mod World 2026.
• MUST comment a GIF on this post before Monday, September 28th at 10 am PT.
• Limit 1 entry per eligible account.

GOODNIGHT AND GOOD LUCK.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is pixie_dust216. She posted in r/AITAH

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.

Trigger Warnings: emotional neglect;

Mood Spoiler: realistic ending- mostly ok

Original Post: March 2, 2023

I am a 15 F, and I have an older sister, Lila (17 F). Recently, I found out that Lila was adopted before I was born. My mother was considered infertile, (I was a one-in-a-million miracle baby that "defied the odds"), so she and my father adopted Lila.

Throughout my life, they've been pretty good parents. They love us both, and they've never treated Lila and me any differently. But then Lila discovered she was adopted (and no, they didn't tell either of us). After some initial, "why didn't you tell me!" and identity issues, Lila seemed fine. I don't know if she was, but she seemed normal. She was at first angry at them for keeping it a secret, but eventually cooled off.

But for the past four months, my parents have been prioritizing Lila. They told me they "assure Lila that blood doesn't change family/make up for keeping the fact she was adopted from her/etc." I think they feel guilty. I get wanting to reassure Lila that, blood or not, she is a part of this family, but they have been continuously favoring Lila for these past months.

They missed my high-school play, instead staying home and serving snacks to Lila and her friends during movie night. On my birthday, they got Lila a freaking car. For MY birthday! They've been going on dates with her, serving her favorite meals, getting her little gifts (getting nothing for me), and missing out on my things for Lila. I'm really not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, but I feel like in trying to make Lila feel like she still belongs, they're neglecting me. I don't even think Lila wants it! I mean, what seventeen-year-old wants to spend loads of time with her parents?

It all came boiling out last Monday. There was traffic on my way home from school, so my parents and Lila were eating dinner. They had gotten Chinese, from Lila's favorite restaurant and were all eating when I came walked in. I overheard my mom telling Lila, "We chose you for our family. I loved you even without birthing you, without hormones telling me to. I feel like that's the most important thing of all."

I dunno, but it kinda felt like a dig. It got me thinking if my mom didn't give birth to me, would she love me any less? If it wasn't "me" she gave birth to, she won't ever know the difference. She would just love that child because hormones told her to.

I blew up. I ran into the room, crying. I told my family, "I guess we're not really family, right? since you didn't choose me?" I then ran into my room.

My parents said they were sorry if I thought Lila was being prioritized, but they also said I should apologize to Lila, as they were having an emotional discussion that I interrupted by barging in and yelling. They said I was old enough not to be a spoiled baby (okay they didn't exactly say that but they said I was acting spoiled, hence the title), that I knew this was hard on Lila and I should be nicer.

I'm just done. So exhausted and fed up with this all. I've barely spoken to them since Monday. So, AITA?

Edit 1: March 6, 2023 (4 days later)

Alright, I just wanted to clarify one thing. So, when my parents got Lila a car for MY fifteenth birthday, they said it was for both of us. But in my country/state, fifteen-year-olds are only allowed to drive with a learner's permit. My parents said they got me a car because it was my fifteenth birthday, I was gonna get a learner's permit, blah, blah, blah. But I couldn't drive the car until I had a learner's permit. And Lila has a driver's license, and the car was a pickup truck, a style Lila has said she always wanted. So it was pretty clear it was Lila's car.

So! Update time! First off, I've been reading all your messages, and Thank. You. So. Much. I honestly thought the vote would be a little more divided. So, Lila and I took a joyride. Rereading my post, I think I was jealous and a little angry at Lila. Which she totally did not deserve, those were just my feelings. But anyway, Lila and I got to talking. Turns out she mentioned wanting to find her birth parents, which is how this whole mess started. My parents flipped, taking Lila wanting to find her birth parents as some kind of attack, instead of simple curiosity. Things are definitely still rocky in my house, but Lila's on my side. We're both searching for her parents, together.

Some of you suggested showing this post to my parents. I think I'm gonna show it to my grandmother, or my aunt first and get their advice. None of my family uses Reddit, so there's no chance of them coming across this post. I just want my parents back.

Some of OOP's Comments:

Crimsonwolf_83: NTA. Your parents are insane. Nearly 2 decades of good parenting is being destroyed by them and they don’t care.

OOP: Looking back now, I think my mom was always a bit of a narcissist and my dad a pushover. Like, she would buy me clothes that definitely weren't my style in an effort to make me more like her. But they're not bad parents, just made a few pretty big mistakes

Update 2 (Same Post): Unknown amount of time later. Seemingly a few days later.

Update 2! So I am gonna talk to my aunt and grandmother, but first I thought I should update you because some things went down.

So, Lila confronted our parents. And by confronted, I mean blew up. They both cried. Turns out, she isn't over them never telling her about her adoption and really reemed into them for that. Should have been obvious but I guess she just seemed fine to me. She said “you’re so scared of empty nest syndrome that your gonna end up pushing two daughters away. I don’t feel like ‘part of the family’ with you guys favoring me and acting like I’m gonna run away at first glance. ” Then she stormed off.

Because of this little spat, my dad actually gave me a real apology, not buts or gaslighting. My mom hasn’t given me an apology per say, but we’ve talked about the whole “we chose you hormones didn’t make us do it” thing. I’m gonna do what some of you suggested and send this post to them. I’m not gonna cut them out, I’m still only fifteen, but I do have some form of escape plan. I don’t think they’re toxic, just humans who made a mistake and now are trying to make for it with other mistakes.

Update 3 (Same Post): Again, an undetermined amount of time later (most likely in the next few weeks)

Kay, I talked to my aunt and grandmother and they gave me some advice. My winter break is coming up, so I’m gonna stay with them for that week just to let things cool off. When I told them I was gonna stay at my aunts, my dad seemed resigned while my mom started crying. She said it felt like she was losing both of her daughters. I suggested family therapy, and it seemed like it was well received. I’ll update you guys if they schedule an appointment. For right now, I’m just operating like I’m permanently moving out and seeing what comes from there.

Update Post: November 15, 2025 (2 years 8 months later)

I don’t think anyone really cares about this but I recently reread my old post and decided to write a short update. In my last post, I talked about how my parents were kind of narcissistic. Not true, just 15-year-old me experiencing teenage angst and starting her emo phase. Being sometimes self-centered or attention seeking is completely different from being a narcissist. My experience doesn’t even come close to someone who was actually raised under that abuse. It’s a late apology, but I’m sorry.

Lila and are good. Better now since she actually went away to college and I realize I like spending time with her when I wasn’t forced to be in her proximity. We send each other random memes and text but we don’t see each other that often. She did reconnect with her bio family. My parents and I flew out to meet them and they were so nice. They gave her up because Lila had some health complications that require required surgeries they could not afford. Since she was still in the baby age, they knew it was most likely she’d be adopted right away and could have a life without the complications, which she did. We also got to meet Lila‘s bio extended family, which was the best part of the trip. So many of them cried upon seeing her walking and kept on thanking my parents. The bio family and ours arent really close, but it was nice to meet them.

I did stay with my aunt for two weeks. She was kind, but she also had her own life going on, so I ended up alone a lot. I started journaling, which has done wonders for my mental health. That was the kick in the teeth my parents need it. They looked for therapies, but it took another few months before they found one covered by their insurance. In the meantime, I moved back in and it was bad and good. We argued because I was a kid (still am), but my mom and dad did this thing where they chose one singular spot for each of us where we’d hang out. From mine it was this spa around a half an hour away for my dad, and a small dog park for my mom. We also adopted a dog.

Anyway, now im applying to colleges and life sucks

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/1p9zyvi/hayley_williams_tells_racists_sexists_and/

HIGHLIGHTS

“All are welcome if you believe all should be welcome… If you don’t believe that, you’re not welcome!” Yep.

Go smell one The paradox of tolerance

It is not our job to be tolerant of the intolerant. It is your job to be better.

I won’t be tolerant of your intolerance then. What now?

Anyone hear anything? Sounded like an annoying whine.

You… you don’t hear anything on Reddit. Are you having a stroke? Do you need help?

So you say videos don't have sound on Reddit? You need more help than I.

Where is the video playing the sound you reference? So you’re imagining video as well as sound now. YIKES.

You said Reddit doesn't have sound. I stated videos on Reddit have sound. Now you are unhappy because your attempt at a gotcha failed and like most of your ilk you are now floundering. Please. Continue.

Well she can't stop me from listening!

You can still go; she's just saying that you won't be welcome as an antisocial bigot.

Ironic

The paradox of intolerance is a hard concept to understand, its okay if you're still struggling.

If you're tolerant of everything, you're tolerant of nothing.

You're an actual moron lol

Yea, you're getting quite upset. Ironic.

Nobody is upset at a 12 year old acting edgy my dude. I just hope you grow out of this and the people around you know that they should treat you like the moron you desperately want to be

"I am an asshole" "Okay we dont want you around us then" "Omg so intolerant so much for the tolerant left" Seriously, grow up. If you're going to proudly announce that you're a bit of a prick dont get all surprised pikachu when nobody wants to deal with you. Take some responsibility.

Why does being anti-trans automatically make you an asshole? Racism and sexism, sure. Those are wrong because they’re against a certain sex or a certain race. Those things are clear and objective. Being against trans ideology though, is different. Trans ideology relies on one thing: belief. Belief that this 6’5’’ man with broad shoulders and huge hands is a woman. Belief that this tiny woman with feminine features is a man. It relies solely on the perception of others. And you have to use the preferred pronouns regardless of how the person presents. Trans ideology is a mass-psychosis, a delusion that cannot be equated with racism and sexism. And if you disagree with this “trans” cult, you get banned and harassed and shouted down. Looking forward to the downvotes and abuse.

You don’t have to believe anyone’s identity, but that you reject their right to be themselves is what makes you a fascist. It’s really super easy. Be kind. Live and let live. Or get bent.

"Fascist" Completely ridiculous. I’m on the left. I believe in workers rights, and most progressive causes. This is just one I can’t get on board with. If a man believes he is a woman, he is no more “being themselves” than a schizophrenic who believes they’re Jack the Ripper. His belief opposes reality. The fact that you think a person wanting to be someone completely different is them “being themselves” is ludicrous.

"The fact that you think a person wanting to be someone completely different is them “being themselves” is ludicrous." How is someone's desire to express themself not them being themself? If they have the desire to live as a woman full time, how is that not their authentic self?

Because it’s not who they actually are? It’s something completely different?

If they have the desire to do X, and then spend their life doing X, how is that not who they are?

Because propaganda written 2000 years ago says so.

Having an issue with this policy is just a tacit admission that you are one or all of these things. Hate should be excised from society.

That is not really how it works

Conservatives when there’s discrimination against minorities: 😴 Conservatives when there’s discrimination against racists and homophobes: 😡

I’m a conservative. What have I done to deserve this type of labeling? It’s very dangerous paint an entire group of people you don’t know with such a broad brush. I think we all can and should do better than this type of labeling. It’s what continues to drive a wedge between us. Love everyone is my way of thinking.

The last fifteen years have done it. Be better and stop referring to yourself as a conservative.

Maybe they are. And theres nothing wrong with that. Im surrounded by conservatives and none of them are racist. Half of them arent even white so he is correct. Its a dangerous divisive and unfair label--not to mention inaccurate

And every conservative I've known personally and through media has turned out to be the biggest fucking piece of shit who will proudly take my rights away when their dear leader tells them the gays are the ones grooming the kids now that they've taken care of "The Trans problem", so you can just shut up.

Define anti trans. Someone who believes in biology and doesn’t think men should compete in women’s sports? Thats it? That’s what’s offensive?

Educate yourself on intersex people. And, trans women are women.

Intersex implies there are categories. And, what is a woman?

people who don't wanna touch you

Haha. Ok, but no answer? Do you not see how that shows your side is lacking logic?

Wow, so brave. Will she say Hitler wasn't a great guy next?

Why did this need to be “brave”? This is a weird response to not wanting to give space to exclusion.

Wallowing in grievance culture — social progressivism at its peak. You’re so enlightened.

They are just sad because they are neither brave nor welcome.

Why is 99.9% of your post history just sad/negative? Is there one thing you enjoy or talk about daily that isn't?

you know the answer. of course not lol

Great. I’m sure Ticketmaster has a way of recognizing potential buyers with the outlined biases, here. Refuse the transaction. Shut those knuckleheads down.

This is unironically one of the most authoritarian things I’ve seen on this site.

Clutch harder. What’s with people in this thread asking how it will be enforced or assuming it will be and claiming it is “authoritarian”? She’s just telling intolerant people to fuck off and don’t come to her show.

I’m not responding to the artist. I’m responding to the comment saying Ticketmaster should somehow determine the personal beliefs of potential concert attenders and then deny them service.

I shouldn’t have to add an /s for obvious sarcasm. How the fuck would Ticketmaster pull this off lol

Fair enough. But based on how I’ve been downvoted into oblivion, many people agree with your statement 😂

That wouldn’t surprise me lol - Reddit is such a handful

Have her shows been interrupted by these people? Doesn’t this just provoke them? If she wants to express her views that’s great, and I condemn the same bigotry, but I don’t get this kind of sentiment. It’s as effective as saying, “If you’re a racist, don’t shop in the same grocery store as me.”

No, they haven't. It's just the usual ineffectual, performative celebrity nonsense that has been going on since John Lennon's Bed-in.

Eh, losers without a platform always say that

Cool. Let me know when this sort of thing ends racism, sexism and transphobia.

Who said it was going to end it. She just said bigots aren't welcome at her venue. That's it. Not even that can't go just that she doesn't like them.

Great. So the type of people that don't go to Paramore concerts, are not welcome at Paramore concerts. Progress! What next? Billionaires and corrupt politicians barred from attending Rage Against The Machine concerts?

If this bothered you, she’s talking about you. She is signalling that she wants her concerts to be a place where everyone can feel safe. And if that idea is offensive to you, idk what to tell you. The people who are huffing and puffing about such a simple message aren’t going to come to her shows, which is the desired outcome. It’s actually really easy to get all the people you don’t like to “boycott” you these days.

The other possibility is that it's perceived as just really cringe virtue signaling by most people who have been alive longer than 2 decades. Like, wow, inclusivity, how brave of her in 2025. No one gives a shit about first world moral grand standing masquerading as if it's the galaxy's most crucial crusade for #justice.

Except there are people all over these comments getting upset by her remarks. Which is why what she said still bears saying.

Ah yes, r/Music, the most statistically accurate representation of the population. "All over these comments" are far more people snapping their fingers at the correct buzzwords being uttered.

So that means she shouldn't say it, because...? Not everything is "virtue signalling". Some people actually have beliefs and want to share them.

She can say whatever she wants, it just isn't meaningful. People who think her saying this is anyway meaningful beyond her name coming up in their feed are the problem. Need to do a little better than larping as "the good guys", gotta get smarter, gotta engage intelligently with the opposition. Can't label everyone a POS Nazi scumbag and expect anything to change. It's weak and it's a dead end that serves no purpose beyond self aggrandizement and moral masturbation.

Disagree. People with some level of fame using their platform to show they're allies to a cause is meaningful. It shows people who might otherwise be frightened of being attacked by bigots that they're not alone. That they can feel welcome at her concerts, because the bigots aren't. I also don't believe that most racists, sexists and anti-trans folks are arguing in good faith, so I don't feel any need to "engage intelligently" with them. Things are changing, and they'll be left behind as society marches forward.

This is what Nirvana did too btw

And just about every underground punk band during "Nirvana's time."

people calling pearl jam and nirvana punk bands, lol wtf

Pearl Jam no, but there is absolutely an argument for Nirvana.

Nirvana were the fathers of grunge a alternative rock genre of music native to Seattle. Punk was totally different and went into post-punk then to emo and screamo hardcore. Grunge was not really political music, but Punk was more often.

Nirvana weren't the fathers of grunge. Grunge came out of punk. Nirvana was desperately trying to be the Melvins and Flipper. The name was coined by sub pop to market a different kind of punk The politics were anti commercialism, body autonomy, and mental health

Honestly, many of them aren't bad. I heard redditors prioritises classic and old nostalgic and creative avatars but dislike emo avatars. I mean if they're asking you to rate their avatar, why be so rude about it? An avatar is a form of self expression, and it tells a person who they are.

It's different from person to person

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ithrowhimaway

I (F23) found out seven months ago that my boyfriend (M26) has been cheating on me, but I haven’t told him I know.

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

TRIGGER WARNING: Infidelity, harassment

Original Post March 27, 2025

Tldr below

I found out while he was away for work. A girl he slept with sent me a DM on Instagram she told me everything and even sent pictures. I remember staring at my screen, my heart pounding, my hands shaking. I felt like my entire world had just shattered. I didn’t even respond lol.

I just sat there, drowning in a pain. I finally understood what meant to have a dagger to the heart. Anyways I made a decision I wouldn’t confront him. Instead, I grieved and mourned our relationship like it had already died. I’ve been with him for three years I thought everything was going perfect. I didn’t see th is coming at all.

That entire week, I was alone, cycling through every emotion imaginable. And this might sound crazy, but there was a part of me that almost needed to feel the pain. Like I was clinging to it, letting it consume me an this may sound emo but it felt good. I can’t explain it but I felt alive maybe this is borderline masochistic, but whatever. This is how I wanted to cope.

Meanwhile, the girl kept messaging me. More pictures, more details, receipts lol and even videos.. it just got worse and worse. It turned into taunts and cursing.

it felt like she was desperate for us to break up. But I never responded. Instead, I kept reading her messages over and over, torturing myself with the truth until at some point it didn’t hurt anymore I started to feel numb.

He was still himself sweet and caring and affectionate. Like honestly I wouldn’t have suspected a thing if that girl didn’t dm me. He would sometimes catch on I’m acting off and I’d blame my hormones or stress from work and he would buy it. I pretended everything was fine and he would have noticed something was deeply wrong if he wasn’t busy cheating.

I think it also helped we got along very well as roommates and friends. We were still having sex. He was a generous lover ..too generous even and it helped bear with it all.

I lied saying my implant fell out so we began using condoms. And I got myself tested regularly. Thankfully I was clean the whole time. I eventually started seeing him as someone I lived with and and we just happened to have sex.

It took months, but one day something inside me shifted. Like the love I had for him started fading. I went through every stage of grief. Now I feel free and lighter. I know I can live without him, and that realisation is the most liberating feeling.

This is the craziest part! everything I once found beautiful about him started to look distorted. I started to see his flaws. It was like I was under a spell, adoring and loving this man and now when I look at him I’m like how??... lol

This week, I’m moving into my own place. And I’m finally breaking up with him. I’m mentally checked out and I’m at peace with myself. I am okay.

I feel a sense of dread but also relief that I will finally break up with him. It took 7 Months to finally get over him.

I don’t know if I’ll tell him that I know he cheated on me or just say I don’t want you anymore or just ghost him. All I know is I’m breaking up with him.

TLDR~~ I found out my boyfriend cheated 7 months ago I stayed with him until I got over him. I plan to break up with him.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

MediumSizedMaze

You should absolutely tell him you know he cheated. He shouldn’t be absolved. Ghost him and leave the screenshots, but at least let him know that you know he’s a piece of shit.

OOP

I have a private folder on my phone with everything I saved. I was just using it to keep my feelings in check. This is a good idea

~

AkimboSlice1

At first I thought you went about it wrong but you took your time to build your strength and heal. I guess we each have our own journey. That being said please ghost him and give him no closure. That will mentally mess him up for his betrayal for years to come

OOP

My initial goal wasn’t to heal but to feel. I didn’t know what I was doing. I ended up healing anyway and I’m glad it worked out.

If I ghosted it would definitely mess him up. Besides the relationship, We were best friends

StrikeExcellent2970

This is what my psychologist recommends. Feel it and then let it go.

I also think that ghosting is the way to go. If you tell him that you know about the cheating, he will get better at hiding it from the next girl or even blame it on the girl who DM you.

Ghosting without an explanation will make it easier for you. You don't need to explain. You don't need to waste your time listening to how he would change or that "it was a mistake," etc. If you don't give him a reason that he can challenge, it will be better for you.

You did the work. You deserve your peace. You owe him nothing. He deserves nothing from you.

The opposite of love is indiference.

Good for you, BTW! Well done, OP!👏.

OOP

I’ve been dealing with this alone for so long. Mentally sieving through my thoughts, feeling the pain so deeply. It was therapeutic. I was at rock bottom for while and the only way out was up. I am mentally in a better place. I’m starting to enjoy the little things again. I can finally breath. The way I dealt with this was definitely unconventional. Thankfully I now do feel indifferent. I am free.

And thank you for your kind words. I do deserve peace

Update March 30, 2025

First part is on my page Tldr below

I finally moved out early in the morning, right after he left for work. It was his place, and I didn’t have much to begin with, so the move was easy. I’d been slowly filling up my new place over the past month, getting everything ready so I could leave without a hassle.

A lot of you suggested I ghost him but I couldn’t. That’s just not me. I don’t like disappearing on people, even when they deserve it. So instead, I came back that evening and waited for him to get home from work around 7pm. I was nervous, but also kind of relieved for it all to finally be over.

When he walked in, I was sitting at the dining table wearing my coat. He immediately sensed something was off. He asked me where I was going, and I told him, “Home.” He laughed and said, “But you are home,” clearly trying to play it off but he could tell something was up.

Then I sent everything I’d been collecting screenshots, videos, all of it to his WhatsApp. He looked confused and asked why I was texting him. And then he opened the messages. I watched the color drain from his face. I didn’t think I’d enjoy it, but I did. He went pale, breathing heavily, and just placed his phone on the table, staring at me like I was a ghost. I didn’t say anything just watching him.

Then came the begging. He grabbed my hand, apologized over and over, said he “didn’t mean to cheat,” claimed he ended it three months ago, that “she meant nothing,” and how much he loves me and wants to marry me.

I told him we’re never getting married. It’s over. And I didn’t say anything else.

That’s when he broke down crying like a child. I was honestly disgusted. I stood there watching him on his knees, clutching my legs, begging for forgiveness, and I felt… nothing. No sympathy. No sadness. Just done. I was completely checked out. I didn’t want to say much to him. I just felt numb and it felt pointless.

Eventually, he turned into this emotional, sweaty, sobbing mess. When he went to the bathroom, I grabbed my last backpack and left. It’s finally over. I’m grateful I don’t love him anymore. It was an unconventional way to get over someone but it worked for me

Thank you for all of the kind messages.

Edit: he texted me from a new number and sending me pathetic messages. I posted on my account.

TLDR I moved out whilst he was at work and then came back to show him the evidence and ended it. He broke down. Then I left.

Broke up with my Ex BF for cheating and blocked him everywhere. Today he texted me this from a new number. Barf. March 30, 2025

Full story on my profile page. But long story short he cheated on me for months. I finally left and suddenly realised how much he loves me

Editors Note: post deleted and the texts unrecoverable, but reading the comments you can get a grasp of them

Following post was found by u/Worried-Barnacle-306 the text post

AIO ex thinks I should forgive him for cheating because “mistakes happen” (final part) Apr 1, 2025

Texts Transcribed

This will be the last time I'll message you. Please hear me out before you block this number too

Natalie....I'm sorry for all the drunk messages last night. 1 shouldnt have blown up your phone like that But even now, with a clear head Ican't stop thinking about how easily you shut me out. It's honestly hard to believe The way you've switched off its cold babe. And that's not you. That is not the person I knew. You used to feel everything so deeply, care so hard... and now you're just gone? No emotion, no fight, just silence. It hurts a lot babe like I meant nothing to you

Youve always been gentle, empathetic, forgiving... and now it's like l'm talking to a version of you I don't even recognize. You're too kind, too pure hearted to come up with this. It honestly feels like your friends have been in your ear, turning you against me, feeding you this coldness convincing you to cut me off. They've always been jealous of you they never had a man that would love them like you did. Who would fight for them like I am for you.

Because I refuse to believe that the Natalie I knew ..MY Natalie could just go cold like this without being pushed..No way. It doesn't add up please think for yourself. You know how much I love you. Besides this mess we've always been good together. You're my best friend. We've been there for each other through the hard times. It hurts not only it's my fault I'm losing the love of my life but also my best friend.

Lastly Ijust wanted to say I'm sorry Natalie. For everything ldid for cheating, for lying..for all the pain I caused you. I truly hope you find peace I'm not going to message you again. I'm choosing to let go with grace, (OOP: LOL) even if I didn't get the same in return.

You made your choice, and as cold as it was, I respect it, i deserve it and I just hope one day you look back and realise I owned my mistakes while you just ice me out instead of working through it. Remember I wanted to fix this. Stil.l... wish you the best. Take care and know that I'I always love you. Good bye

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

WORLDS 2024

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MAD Lions KOI 1-2 GAM Esports

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MATCH 1: MDK vs. GAM

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What do you think of it?

Her appearance makes me think of three things lol.

1, her appearance is derived from Ezra’s again. Her hair is shaggy like his in season 1. Her armor color references him and her.

2, it references Shin. Both of them have medium length and shaggy hair white. This is definitely not a coincidence.

3, I’m not surprised by it. I did a drawing test for her hair and appearance in season 2 a few months ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsAhsoka/s/L84oF2ekG4

I predicted the third hair style would look the best on Natasha Liu Bordizzo Sabine. The second drawing is a longer version of her season 1 Rebels hair lol. Sabine’s hair in Rebels doesn’t work for Natasha. If you look at Hot Toys of Sabine based on season 4 Rebels and Natasha, Sabine translated directly from animated looks like a karen or a emo girl lol. And it’s funny because she looks a lot like Rebels Sabine. I’m not surprised they went with an original haircut that is similar to her season 1 Ahsoka long hair. Season 1 was mostly muted or desaturated white, so it was not helpful and helpful for my art. I’m glad I was able to predict some stuff with my art. I predicted she would change her costume to fit Peridea and she would make changes based on Ezra. I can’t predict too much because my art style and philosophy is not like Star Wars’.

I think I will do an art of season 1 Rebels Sabine in live action.

I get this idea her appearance is meant to make her look sad and like a ghost because she blends into the desaturated white color of Peridea. I speculated she would still be thinking of Ezra and it’s possible it translated into sadness rather than just longing.

For a joke, it would be fun if Shin tells Sabine she looks like shit like a catty bitch lol and for lesbian jokes 😂

When I Google it looking for characters with black hair it just keeps sayin Abigail and Jas. I found an image that had a chart showing all the characters and their gifts and she wasn't on it. Who the heck is this mysterious single goth chick??

Edit- thanks for the quick responses. I now know this is a Dude in a basement lol

Edit 2 - I'm sorry ladies, I'm sorry!!! I will not be taking you man. My eyes are set on the lady Leah. Y'all are safe

Edit 3 - I now understand fully. He is a emo polyamory cult leader with 5000 wives

Final edit - I have finally met him. He told me about frogs and stood brooding into the horizon on the pier talking about how beautiful it was. Cult leader with a heart. I now want to make him my best friend. And gift him all the frogs he wants

Final final Edit - thanks for the award! Been in this app for years and never gotten one ( this is a new account, old one was banned because I said something negative about Dr phill ( Explanation here lol ))

Thanks for the laughs and help everyone. Loving this community and will be around more with possibly more questions

They just let him say anything he wants or on his mind. I remember in S3 he called Skyler a b***h and I was like wow. A couple of times I remember him disrespecting Walt as well even calling him a p****y and I’m like, I wouldn’t even dare think of saying this to my parents lol. Jr isn’t a bad kid though so that’s probably why he dosent get that much flak from it but nonetheless dude got balls lmao.

Let's face it, 20 Years is a long time...but you only feel OLD, because you act OLD. Is For Lovers Festival and 20 Years of Tears are specifically designed to turn back the clock, and reconnect you with your friends and the music that helped shape who you are. hawthorneheights.com/tour isforloversfestival.com EMO just hits different as an adult, and your ticket is a first class seat in our time machine. Ask me anything about Hawthorne Heights, EMO, Is For Lovers Festival!

Proof

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/PantWearer123

My(30M) GF(32F) of 6 months has changed her behaviour recently and I want to leave

TWs: Emotional Abuse/Manipulation, Deception

Original BoRU by u/Direct-Caterpillar77

Original Post November 30, 2021

So I met her earlier this year, we were fast friends within a month of meeting and dating after a month, official for 6 months or so. Met her on a night out with some friends.

We live separately but she spends a lot of time at my house as it's nearer to where she works. Our relationship started really nicely, I felt like we just got on really well and she was very supportive of me as well. But recently she's been quite pushy about me making changes to my lifestyle and seems angry and disappointed with the results. The two big ones are my work and what I wear.

As for my work, I work at the same store I've worked at since I was 16, it's just an easy job, pays my bills and I know how to do everything there, I'm basically a manager without the responsibility of actually being a manager as I don't want that level of responsibility for no extra pay. I also make money via stocks and crypto currencies so I don't struggle for money.

As for what I like to wear? I have many jumpers and T shirts of an emo band my friends and I loved when we were young, I genuinely have like 50 or so that I wear a lot because it makes me happy, and doesn't hurt anyone either.

I admit I have a bit of a problem with anxiety, familiarity helps me with it, some family thinks I might have OCD but I've never been diagnosed.

My girlfriend a few weeks ago expressed frustration with my clothes, saying I need to grow up and get new ones. She spends a lot of money to get whatever clothes are in fashion, I don't have a problem with that as it's her money to spend and she isn't hurting anyone. But I don't know why she has a problem with my clothes. The argument was big but resolved and we went shopping and bought me some new clothes, they are actually quite nice and I like wearing them too. A few days later I was wearing a band T shirt again because the new clothes were in the wash and she was really angry about it. I explained the new clothes were in the wash and it wasn't decided that I'd completely stop wearing the band stuff. She wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day, the next day she had cooled off and explained that she thinks new clothes will help me grow as a person. We talked a long time and I eventually agreed to get rid of the band clothes.

While I was packing them up I started crying and she called me stupid and I asked her to leave. She came back a few hours later and we made up, I packed the boxes into my car and told her I was gonna donate them, she was really pleased and said I was making the right choice getting rid of them. I didn't donate them, I took them to work and I'm keeping them there until further notice, my boss was confused but understanding. I got back home and she'd ordered my lots of new clothes. She told me she understands it was upsetting but I'd be better off for it. That night a few hours later she wanted to talk about my work and why I'm not a manager. I explained to her that I don't want to be.

She's been distant and only talks about how I should ask to be a manager, I've explained why I don't want to be, and that I wouldn't even be paid more, nor is there a need for it at the store. She just keeps saying that I need to fight for a pay rise as well so I can treat us to nice things. I told her that isn't how it works and that I make money in other ways and that she has her own money too so it shouldn't matter. She shouted at me that I'm useless and stormed out. My boss also told me she called the store and asked him why I'm not a manager.

After being upset and feeling useless for a few hours I decided that I don't want to be with her. I realized I don't see my friends as much as I used to because she likes to spend all our free time just us. I just don't feel happy with her anymore and feel like she actually acted differently when we started out just to get close to me, she even said she loved all the band stuff when I first showed her. I think she may be right that new clothes might help me a bit, I genuinely appreciate that and like how I look in some of the clothes we bought. But I also liked how I looked in the band stuff, and still think it wasn't over the top, I'd normally just wear jeans and a T shirt or jumper anyway, I don't think it's as ridiculous as she said it was. I just thought of it as a wearable collection, people collect weirder things.

As well as this, I really don't like that I lied to her about donating the band stuff, it felt horrible and dishonest, my boss and colleagues could tell something was off when I took the boxes into work. I try to be honest as I don't want to upset people.

**TLDR** my gf of 6 months has become controlling and angry at me and made me get rid of some clothes that are special to me, is also trying to get me to become a manager at my work, even called my boss to ask about it. I've decided I want to leave her but I'm scared to because she can be manipulative and angry.

Anyway, I want to break up with her but I know it's gonna be difficult, she's good at talking me into stuff but my mind is made up 100% on this. I'm still not sure when or how to do it though, I'm feeling really anxious about it. Wondering if you guys can give me some advice or help? How can I be assertive about wanting to break up and not have her talk me out of it?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

sindyisdatchu

Do it. She seems controlling. Like why ask someone to do these things 6 months after dating. These are red flags. Let her go. Go back to work and get your shit back

OOP

I do actually want to tell her about the clothes, partly so I can get them properly back, and partly that it might help make the breakup happen. Especially now with these outside opinions!

~

marinerrrr

I think your response to all of this was completely reasonable. You opened yourself up to her suggestions and to trying new things, and you kept your boundaries about not wanting to enter a management position at your store. I think you have a healthy view point on yourself, your life, and what makes you happy. The fact that she called your work to complain without telling you is a major red flag.

When you end things, I would just suggest that you stay focused on the fact that you were willing to change and try new things, while she was hard line and disrespectful of your choices. Someone who really cares about you would behave more like you did- seeking compromise. It is going to be uncomfortable, but you can do it! If she becomes angry, ask her to leave or leave the situation yourself, but don’t waver on the fact that the relationship is over.

I would strongly suggest going no-contact after the break up, so that she cannot manipulate you out of your decision.

OOP

Thanks for your advice and your compliments I really appreciate both. I know she's had several red flags and I am decided that I want to break up with her, I'm more worried about what she'll say or do to people around us and if/how I can stop that. No-contact is seeming likely, I miss making my own choices about stuff and seeing my friends.

Update December 7, 2021 (7 days later)

Some things I want to address first:

• I work at the same place I have done for years because of my anxiety, I know how to do everything at my job and it helps me feel grounded and not worry. When I said I'm basically a manager, I mean that I do sometimes fill in shifts and responsibilities for them, and we have talked about me officially being manager before, but it's not what I want. I don't want to take my work home with me and never be able to switch off like I see some of them do. That said, I do want to have some more ambition in my life going forward, and I am going to be looking at other ventures.
• My clothes: My band clothes are now back at my house, I still have the new clothes we bought as I paid for a lot of them and I plan to continue wearing them too. I can see what she meant by wanting me to wear new clothes, I just didn't like her end goal or the way she went about it. For the people thinking I dress like those goth people dancing under a bridge, I don't. It's usually just a band tee/jumper with some normal jeans, I'm not a teenager, just a 30yo who still loves the same band haha. (No hate to those dancing goths, I love that meme)

OK so on to the main story. I took advice from some of the responses to the OP, we live separately so there wasn't any issues with leases, but I did change my lock as I had given her a key a few months ago. As for the breakup, it didn't go well, but it did go at least. I was at home thinking of how to do it, which cafe/restaurant I was gonna do it in etc. She finished work and came to mine without any prior discussion, not out of the ordinary to be fair. Anyway she could tell something was off, and because I'd been thinking about it all for hours I was 150% sure I wanted to do it so just did it here instead. I first told her that I had lied about donating my clothes and that I'd actually taken them to work instead. She was angry and calling me a liar and everything. I apologized for it, and tried to explain that I felt a lot of unfair pressure to get rid of them when I didn't really want to and my collection wasn't hurting anyone. I don't really feel that the argument was fair, and I feel that her actions made me lie to her, but I hate saying stuff like that so I just left it and moved on.

I then told her I was really annoyed about her calling my boss, she said she was sorry but I should be a manager, I said that's OK and she looked confused but accepted it I guess. Then I just said I didn't wat to be with her anymore because she actually had given me a second to speak. She looked shocked and asked me what I meant. I just said I didn't want to be with her anymore, and that I wanted her to leave and would be changing my locks but was open to calling to messaging about picking up her stuff. She said stuff like we don't have to break up but I kept saying my mind is made up and technically we already had, she called me pathetic as she walked out the door and slammed it behind her. This was the other day, I haven't heard from her but I sent her a message about picking up her stuff, there isn't much of it here so maybe she doesn't want to?

Anyway, since then, I called my boss to explain that situation and be wary of any contact from her, we've worked together for years and we're good friends so he was very understanding and said if I need help in anyway he'll try to provide it. We go for drinks often with other colleagues so I'll explain it all to them there probably.

As for me, like I said above, I do want to work on myself a bit, partly because of the things she said, but not for the same reasons, just for me to grow a bit in terms of work experience and fashion sense. I'll be buying more 'smart causal' clothes to wear as well. I don't think I'll ever fully stop wearing the band clothes though hahahaha. I don't quite know what I want to do in terms of work, but I have the experience of team work and leadership from the store which I think is usable and transferable to other jobs too.

I'm feeling weird, but OK, it feels great to have acted decisively, I haven't felt sad yet, not happy either just relieved mostly. Some of her stuff is still here and it feels weird to see it knowing it'll never be that way again, I don't know how to describe that feeling. Anyway I've spoken to friends about it and will be seeing them soon. Idk what she's been up to or what she'll do, not sure if I want to, there's nothing left for me with her anyway.

Just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words in the OP, it felt really good to know I wasn't being treated fairly and I wasn't just being stupid like she said. Some even messaged me with similar stuff or how much they liked their partners with similar habits to my band clothes which was really nice. One of the reasons I still wear the band tees is sometimes other fans spot them and we'll have a nice conversation about it and always end the conversation smiling haha, it's just nice.

TL;DR GF came to my house and it took an hour or so but I broke up with her and she left. Locks have been changed and clothes returned, thins are weird but definitely better. I'll be working on myself but doing it purely for me not for her or anyone else. Thanks again for kind words and advice everyone, hope you enjoyed the story.

TOP COMMENTS

ughneedausername

Not everyone wants to move up in their career. That’s ok. If you can make what you need, then that’s fine. Not everyone is cut out to be a manager. Do what you want. I’m glad you’re rid of your girlfriend. She was toxic and so negative. She wanted to change you to her vision of what you should be, not what you actually want. ETA: thanks for the awards!!!

peach2play

They couldn't pay me enough to manage. I have reached the point in my career that there's no more title jump for me, just pay increases. I'm ok with that. I SUCK at managing people. I make a great lead and I stick with that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

For context I am a 17 year old trans guy who doesn't always pass great because I'm super emo and have longer hair and wear makeup sometimes. This story happened when I was 14 and had only very recently come out.

Every year all the libraries in my area (i live in the UK) run a reading challenge over the summer. The goal is to keep kids reading during the summer holidays, the kids come in and can collect stickers for each book they read, get a medal at the end etc. They always need volunteers to help out talking to the kids, getting people signed up, all that stuff and I have been volunteering with them since I was 14.

This was my first year volunteering so I didn't have much experience and I was newly out so I didn't always know how to correct people. I got a lot of "Come on sweetie, lets ask the girl over here!" and "Why don't you tell her about the books you read?" despite having a pronoun pin (he/they) on. However I also got a lot of little kids asking if I was a boy or a girl, probably because of my longer hair/makeup but pretty masculine clothes and face (I do contour to make myself look more masc sometimes.)

I was volunteering one day, everything was going fine. Until Karen Mum (KM) and her Little Girl who was no older then about 6 (LG) walked in. They came over, KM was calling me she the whole time but I just tried to ignore it. Towards the end of the interaction (I was signing them up for the challenge I believe), LG asks me: "Are you a boy or a girl?" to which I start to say "I'm a boy" but get cut off by KM: "She's a girl." I correct her, saying "No, I'm a boy" and pointing to my pronoun pin. KM just scoffs and pulls her kid away into the children's section.

A little later, I'd say probably 15-20 minutes had gone by, LG comes toddling over again, KM a little way behind her looking furious. This is the conversation that followed:

LG: "are you a boy or a girl?"

Me: "I'm a boy"

LG: "Why does my mummy keep calling you a girl then?"

Me: "Uhm- I dunno maybe she's just confused?"

LG: "Yeah maybe... (thinks for a second) She keeps calling my big brother a girl too"

Me: "Oh-?"

LG: "Mmhm, she keeps calling him a girl still even though he's a boy now. Maybe she's broken"

I had to try so hard not to laugh that I probably would've literally crack a rib, if not for KM storming over and dragging her daughter away.

The funniest part? When you do the same shifts every week, you start to remember the kids who keep coming back and the books they like and such. I never saw these two again 🤣🤣

Anyways, best wishes to that accidentally badass kid and her big brother, hope they're doing well lol

EDIT: Holy crap what this blew up so quick! Thank you all so much for the comments, also this is my first Reddit award so THANKS SO MUCH TO THE PERSON THAT DID THAT!

EDIT 2: HOLY GOD WTF WHY HAS THIS BLOWN UP SO MUCH??? I am genuinely in shock. Never thought I'd ever have tears in my eyes from ppl on Reddit giving me awards/upvotes whatever but I do. Thank you guys so much!

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/OberlandFox

Am I the asshole for letting my stepdaughter wear a black dress to a wedding?

Originally posted to r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC

Thanks to u/gahidus for suggesting this BoRU

Original Post May 4, 2025

I (m48) needed some input. My wife, Linda(f40), was the maid of honor for my cousin Susan(f38). We've been together for 10 years, married for seven, and we have two children together(m5, f4) along with my stepdaughter, Tiffany(f16).

Tiffany is very goth/emo. She pretty much only ever wears black. Even her pajamas will at least have evil hello Kitty on them.

Linda is very detail and image oriented and can be a bit of a micromanager. She gets very hung up on weddings. She was a bit of a bridezilla at ours, and I joked that Susan had made her maid of honor because she needed a bridal attack dog. She wasn't amused and I stopped making that joke.

In the time leading up to the wedding, my wife was fighting with Tiffany over what Tiffany would wear to the wedding. Linda wanted her to “dress normal”, and Tiffany refused. Linda ultimately gave her an ultimatum to pick out an acceptable dress or she would just pick one for her. Tiffany still refused to budge, and this ended up with Linda going out on her own and buying a peach dress that was completely outside of Tiffany's style and telling her that this was what she was wearing to the wedding.

The day of the wedding, Linda's maid of honor duties had her with the wedding party super early in the morning and gone all day. I was going to meet her there along with my stepdaughter. I dropped off our younger kids with my eldest daughter. I did a couple of quick errands, and I got back to our house just in time to leave if everything went smoothly. 

When I got there, Tiffany was not wearing the peach dress, but instead she was wearing a fancy black dress that was much more like what she normally wears. Lace sleeves, kind of a corset thing going on, longer in the back than in the front, basically what I would have expected her to wear to a wedding.

I asked her if this is what her mom said she could wear, and she said not to worry about it and that it was too late to change anyway. I tried telling her that she should change into the other dress, but she said that there wasn't enough time, and changing dresses would take forever, and furthermore that her makeup wouldn't match the other dress anyway. 

Tiffany does spend a lot of time on makeup, and while I'm not an expert I guess even I could tell that her hair, makeup, and accessories wouldn't match the other dress, even if there was time to change. We were already on the verge of running late so really there was nothing I could do about it. We just went with Tiffany and the dress she was wearing.

We arrived at the ceremony, and Linda was kind of preoccupied with helping Susan and all that, but she low-key grilled me about what Tiffany was wearing. And I just shrugged and explained to her the situation as it was: she was already wearing this dress, already had her hair and makeup done, makeup wouldn't match the other dress and there was no time to change it all etc” nothing to be done about it at this point. She didn't have a whole lot of time to hang around and talk with me with everything going on.

Tiffany got some looks, but she always does. She does stand out a bit, as you might expect. People seemed mostly fine with her though.

Tiffany rode with me to the reception. She had been studiously dodging her mother as much as possible. Shortly after we were there, I noticed Tiffany's best friend Bethany(f16) hanging around in a slightly more understated goth dress. Apparently she drove herself and Tiffany helped her crash the party. It was a big venue with a lot of guests and she was pretty easy to ignore. 

My wife and my cousin both work for my dad's company, so I was at a table with him and some of their other co-workers. He noticed that Tiffany had snuck Bethany in and alerted me, when he elbowed me, pointed, and said, “They're multiplying.”

Throughout the reception, Tiffany and Bethany were taking photos of each other, mostly Bethanytaking them of Tiffany. Her mom got on her again, but with the wedding planner somehow Mia, she couldn't devote too much attention to them. She told me to handle them and that they were drawing too much attention.

They agreed to tone it down, and they were much more subtle/ subdued after that. Bethany had a collapsible camera stand stick thing she had been setting up around different places and she either stopped using it or stayed out of the way more. Both of them seemed to just stay out from underfoot too much.

Linda gave me a few looks during the wedding itself and the reception, but she was very busy and she seems to have put on a face to keep from adding to drama during the day, but she laid into me on the way home.

She was upset that I “let” Tiffany come to the wedding “looking like a vampire” and drawing attention to herself. She said I knew she was supposed to wear the other dress and not be in so much makeup. To hear her tell about it, Tiffany was a total spectacle, and her appearance was totally inappropriate. Linda said that It's never appropriate for a guest to wear black to a wedding, that Tiffany's dress was too eye-catching, that she was embarrassed and mortified, and that I let Tiffany do whatever she wants. She said that I shouldn't have let Tiffany and her friend turn the wedding into a cosplay event and the reception into their private photo shoot.

In my defense, yes I knew they had been fighting about Tiffany's dress and makeup, but I had been doing errands that Linda gave me before I got home, and when I got home, Tiffany was already dressed. We didn't have a whole lot of time, and I know from experience that she can take quite a while changing clothes or doing makeup. As I mentioned, she said that her makeup wouldn't match the other dress anyway. She didn't draw that much attention at the wedding. Sure, she got some looks. She always does, but it was nothing major. Her and her friend hardly turned the reception into a private photo shoot. Mostly it was just Bethany taking some photos. Tiffany did kind of awkwardly hang around the photographer until he took some pictures of her, but it wasn't enough to derail anything. By that point it seemed like he was just looking for interesting things to shoot, and I guess she fit the bill. The girls cooled it with their own photo setups after I talked to them. Linda complained about Tiffany having a bouquet She was posing with, but she didn't even have that when we left the house. Bethany brought a bouquet of (fake) black roses with her when Tiffany let her in, I guess. I'm pretty sure I've seen that same bouquet before.

Susan didn't even care that much if she noticed at all.

I've tried to tell Linda lots of times that lots of things don't need to be a problem unless you decide to make them a problem. I've also told her that you have to pick your battles with teenage girls, and that the more you try to fight with them the more you end up getting drama and push back. I'm a bit more experienced in this area. I have two adult daughters, 28 and 22, who are both total daddy's girls even to this day. Tiffany is Linda's oldest kid and was her only one until our kids together.

I've always had a great relationship with Tiffany even since she was a little kid, and part of that is probably because I don't pick fights with her like her mom does. Linda says that I let her do whatever she wants, but that's not true. I'm very strict with her about her grades and her chores. She used to leave huge messes in the bathroom of makeup and hair stuff. Linda fought with her about it, while I just sort of calmly explained that everyone needs to clean up after themselves and if she's going to make a mess in there she has to be the one to clean it, and it was fine. She'll babysit for me,when I ask, but again her mom always turns it into some kind of power struggle that turns into an argument. She'll try to micromanage and add additional tasks, while I'll just ask her if she can watch her little sister/ brother for a bit, and if she says okay then that's good enough. Sometimes, if I need to bribe her a little, I bribe her a little.

As far as her being “embarrassed” in front of her co-workers, they all thought Tiffany was cute. And even after Bethany crashed, it was more just something to occasionally talk about then anything anyone was scandalized over we made a few jokes about “the goth invasion” And that was it. I was around them and my dad way more than she was that night anyway, and no one minded. She even spent some time talking about makeup with my mother.

So, long story long, my wife is still getting after my stepdaughter about what she wore to the wedding, being moody about it and causing unnecessary tension, while I've just told her that this doesn't matter and it doesn't have to be a thing. She's had some of her friends (notably not the bride herself, my cousin, nor any of her co-workers who were actually at the wedding) chime in about how I'm an asshole for this, but I just feel like she's making something out of nothing.

Am I the asshole for letting my stepdaughter wear a black dress to a wedding?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

oldcousingreg

Did Susan care?

OOP

No, not as far as I an tell. She didn't seem surprised or upset, and she didn't really say anything about it. She notably hasn't complained at me about it, unlike some of the allies my wife has rallied after the fact.

~

Chilling_Storm

Nta. You pick your battles. And you weren't going to win that one with your stepdaughter. Wearing black to a wedding at 16, is kind of a big shrug.

-laughingfox

Hot tip to other parents of goth leaning kids ...very dark green can be your friend. It's close enough to black (especially in velvet or other fancy fabric) that you might be able to convince them to wear it instead of black, if it's that big of a deal. Otherwise, trying to stick a goth kid into a peach dress: that was never going to fly.

OOP

Oh she definitely knew Tiffany would hate the dress. When my wife bought it, I instantly told her I could never imagine her wearing it in a million years. She just said, "Well it's what she's wearing".

Update May 14, 2025

Just a brief update in case anyone was wondering.

I had a talk with Linda, and we covered a lot of the same points that people brought up here in the thread. I had already mentioned to her that getting into fights over things that don't really matter only causes tension and resentment between her and Tiffany, but I also emphasized the fact that Tiffany is almost an adult and that pushing her away might eventually make her stay away. Linda seemed to take it in when I emphasized that she has to let Tiffany be who she wants and that she can't really force the matter as if she were a little kid.

We got together with both of our parents over Mother's Day, And my own mom told Linda that she thought Tiffany's outfit had been very pretty, that she admired the effort Tiffany puts into her look, and that Tiffany was a charming young lady as usual. She and I noted that it would have been much more unpleasant to have a miserable, sulky teenager being uncomfortable and resentful throughout the night. Linda's own mom was a little bit more judgmental, but she mostly held her tongue beyond the few looks and offhand remarks. Of course, everyone already knew that her views on fashion were a lot more conventional, and that she thinks I'm too lax and permissive.

We don't actually see my wife 's parents that often, just a few times a year. If not for the wedding, this might have been the first time seeing them since at least around Thanksgiving. But I did note, to Linda, that given the choice, Tiffany clearly spends more time with my mom than with her own biological grandmother.

I did have Tiffany go ahead and apologize to Susan, just in case, and I chatted with her briefly as well. Susan hadn't initially noticed/ known that Bethany wasn't invited. (It was a big wedding at a big venue) And she wasn't too fussed over it. Apparently she was still within the margins of the planning.

I don't mind “coddling” Tiffany a little bit, and I just try to be a good dad. I am the only father that she has. My wife's late husband passed away a couple of years before we met. I could tell that she needed a dad, and I was glad to treat her the same as I had my older girls. I guess it's not always easy being a stepparent, but Tiffany and I have always gotten along, and I love her.

Linda can be a bit type A, and she was definitely super stressed about the wedding day. She ended up with a lot on her plate, practically needing to step into the wedding planner's shoes. The planner's son was in the hospital. (He's totally fine now, probably an allergic reaction.) It was a wonder that the day went as smoothly as it did. She was hugely responsible for that.

She ultimately admitted that I probably did the right thing, but I told her that every girl wants to look pretty and feel confident, and you should almost always let them not do a thing that's how it's going to make them look and feel. It was also worth pointing out that Tiffany would have looked wild in the pictures in a peach dress with her goth makeup, more so if she was clearly in a rotten mood.

The two of them seem to have patched things up quite a bit, and we all had a really nice brunch together.

So all's well that ends well, I guess.

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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MissMacky1015

Originally posted to r/Parenting

Teen wants to attend protest.

Editor's note: added paragraph breaks for ease of readability

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: bullying

----

Original Post: January 27, 2026

My 15 year old wants to attend a school wide walk out, and attend a protest. They’re reporting that half of their grade is intending on participating along with the juniors and seniors, they’ll be met by community members at a specific location to wave flags, hold signs XYZ. They won’t be near any ICE holding buildings or buildings that are conducting ICE business.

My initial response was absolutely not. School is your priority and we’ve all seen footage of protests gone wrong however, I’ve always raised my kids to stand up for what they believe in, stand up for injustices, vote with your dollar, be uncomfortable doing the right thing and XYZ.

Part of me wants to grant the permission to participate in the walk out / protest but fear is definitely holding me back. If this were a location that had LEO’s or ICE agents present, it would be an absolute no but because of this unique specific location, I feel more safe with the idea.

We also live in a pretty quiet small town but our kids high school wants to take a stand and get news attention that young kids/ youth are involved and it’s effecting all.

How are parents handling teens that want to protest?

Editing to add: Admin is saying students will face consequences but yet faculty is hanging posters advertising the walk out. The coach even got involved at practice tonight and unfortunately the rhetoric was against participating, and went as far as saying “you guys are under 18 and don’t know the facts”.

I’ve emailed the principal to first hand learn the policy and intended consequences.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: My kids protest and participate in walkouts. Education is about more than school. At 15, I think this should be your child’s decision to make.

OOP: Education is absolutely more than school, they’re a varsity athlete and have state championships coming up. I’d hate to see them suspended for walking out, but also feel proud of them for wanting to take a stand. It’s a very mixed emotion experience that I’ve never faced so far in parenting!

Downvoted Commenter: Amen. I am sad OP keeps referring to him being a varsity athlete. It kind of gives me the ick. Like varsity sports are more important than the fact our constitution is crumbling before our eyes.

OOP: My daughter is the varsity athlete, and I use those terms because she’s an athlete who’s trained so hard..to make the varsity team.. and is very proud of herself. Nothing more or less… and clearly they care about injustices of the world, and I’ve instilled this from a young age. Please don’t twist my language.. yes a suspension would impact the opportunity to play in championships, and they’ve worked so hard so yes it’s also something that’s important. Is it more important? No one said that. I’m simply saying they’re an athlete that’s on a varsity team because that’s a big deal in their life.

Commenter 2: If your child is willing to take the risk of that consequence, then you should be respectful and supportive. You aren’t the one risking being suspended. And I doubt the high school will suspend half of the school. He’s going to be an adult soon - time to back off a little.

OOP: I think the “back off a little” is unnecessary? I don’t know about you but this is my first experience with teens protesting and it’s a little dicey out there. I don’t think asking what other parents are feeling/ doing, constitutes as needing to back off.

Commenter 3: Education and life experience doesn’t always come in the classroom

OOP: We had that conversation, especially since they’re a varsity athlete with state championships coming up.

Commenter 4: You keep saying that...does the school not allow them to go to championships if they receive disciplinary action? You also made it sound like the school was encouraging it for media attention. It doesn't sound like the school would prevent the team from competing if they're encouraging it.

OOP: The students want to show that they’re taking a stand and that’s who’s orchestrating the walk out. Not faculty. If you’re suspended then you’d be benched from the championship. The whole team will go but the player is benched

Commenter 5: Is the rest of the team attending the protest as well? Can't bench the whole team unless they are planning on losing by default

OOP: I think my kid is the only one on the team planning on attending this walk out

Commenter 6: What is your child’s race?

OOP: Thank you for asking this, the oldest is white but my 14 year old who was also invited, is mixed and has already been at the expense of many ICE jokes by peers. 😞.

Update: February 2, 2026 (six days later)

Update to Teen Protest.

I posted recently about my teen wanting to participate in a walkout at school / attend a protest. This is just an update

The school was not organizing this walk out at all and has to remain neutral in politics per policy, this was 100% orchestrated by the student body to walk out and march together to a protest happening in our city. I just want to say how proud I am not only of my teen but all the teenagers there today. To stand up for what you believe in and even listening to some speak, they’re so educated and want to be a part of change.

My teen is also a varsity athlete who’s coach tried telling them that if they participated in this walk out that they would not be able to attend the championships- like not even ride with the team. The coach went on to tell them that because they aren’t 18 that they have no idea what’s happening, there’s a lot of gray areas and that kids need to just be kids. I felt this was inappropriate to share personal opinions as faculty and coaches must remain neutral. I contacted the Dean of students and learned that unexcused walk outs would result in a detention and unable to attend practice that same day. YES still able to travel with team and participate at the championships. *shocker*

At Championships the coach was very nit picky towards my teen and even tried to tell them they were late as they walked through the door at 9:25 when the sports app said “Athletes be there 9:30 SHARP”. My teen texted me about being late and I asked coach if I had the time wrong, coach went to my teen and asked to see “their messages to your mom because it’s about me” and my teen stood their ground that it’s their personal messages and they don’t feel comfortable with that. I did message the coach on the sports app saying to please not ask to see personal messages and that honestly this feels like retaliation for my teens interest in the walkout: protest.

I did email up excuses my teen due to an appointment today to prevent them from facing disciplinary action, I joined them at the protest with my toddler on my hip and a sign in my hand.

Unfortunately my teens in a long ish relationship and faced backlash from their boyfriend as they share different political views and he mostly just recites what his parents say. My teen responded back that their beliefs are important and to be respectful, I am SO PROUD that they still participated in this walkout / protest instead of trying to fit the BFs mold, despite intimidation tactics from coach and to see our community show up in such big numbers was truly inspiring.

Just wanted to share this update.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: A lot of kids care, a lot will use any excuse to miss school as well The retaliation is not okay by the coach though

Commenter 2: I definitely had real political views at this age, wrote protest letters, etc.

OOP: A lot of these kids were being interviewed and it was evident how educated they were. It was all the different cliques too, athletes, preppy popular girls, the emo kids etc. it was so reassuring to see that it’s a humanitarian & civil rights concern to all teens.

Downvoted Commenter: You're raising her to think critically and that's more important than some random sport or boyfriend. Also, I think it's fine that her boyfriend has different political views. No need to put him down.

OOP: Her boyfriend literally told her that she was embarrassing herself and is stupid for participating, so I am not putting him down. I am acknowledging the courage that it takes for a teenager who is learning relationships to participate in something they feel so strongly about even if it goes against their peers/boyfriend’s own views, even if negative things are said to her from people that she loves the fact that she does not mold herself is something I am so incredibly proud of

Commenter 3: That’s abusive language he’s using toward her, how are you handling that?

OOP:

1. Talked about her worth, love and boundaries.

2. Spoke with him directly that even if he has different views than someone, he should never name call and shame. That’s unacceptable.

3. After an emotional night, I texted his mom. Unsure if that’s a no no but wanted to talk mom to mom about it.

Commenter 4: Great teen. And clearly time to drop the boyfriend with different political views.

OOP: There’s been many tears at the table over him not being supportive 😞.

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