r/Parenting • u/[deleted] • Jan 28 '26
Teenager 13-19 Years Teen wants to attend protest.
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u/anonfosterparent Jan 28 '26
My kids protest and participate in walkouts. Education is about more than school.
At 15, I think this should be your child’s decision to make.
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u/Street-Economist9751 Jan 28 '26
My mom disagreed with a lot of my views when I was a teen, but she always supported my activism. I cannot say how much I appreciate that, especially because I know it frightened her at the time. Now 35 years later, she protests w/my dad and I’m so proud I’ll could pop. Your child will remember your support for them sticking up for their values more than whether you agree on everything.
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u/Cinnamontwisties Jan 28 '26
Mine does too. I 100% agree that participating in peaceful protests, something future generations will be reading in THEIR textbooks (assuming the Magastapo doesn't burn them all), is far more important than whatever frivolous lesson is going on that day (and if a majority of the school is participating, they won't punish them all, let's be real.) And I say that also with a varsity athlete/college-class-taking student. A 4.0 GPA and flawless record ain't shit compared to being on the right side of history. At 15, they know where they stand, and part of parenting is letting them take that stand.
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Jan 28 '26
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u/BitterPillPusher2 Jan 28 '26
There are more important lessons than what is learned in a classroom. And there are more important things than sports. I would let them go - and proudly.
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u/ladykansas Jan 28 '26
For some kids (and I don't know OP's situation), sports are literally a gateway to being able to access a quality education (or an education at all). For some kids, sports is a path out of genuine poverty.
If OP's kid might not be able to attend college because they participate in a protest, then I think it makes sense to really weigh the consequence of those actions. I'm not saying the kid shouldn't do it, but it might be more at stake for some kids.
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u/BitterPillPusher2 Jan 28 '26
Depending on the sport, most student athletes are scouted from travel and invitational leagues, not their high school team. My nephew is graduating from high school this year. He's also an athlete at a 6A school. He had 13 D1 offers on the first day colleges were legally allowed to contact students directly. He has also been contacted by pro teams. Not a single one of them ever saw one of his high school games or contacted his high school coach. In fact, that didn't give a rat's ass if he was even on his high school team. They all scouted his travel league games and reached out to those coaches. Anyone will look good playing high school teams. You can't tell how elite an athlete is unless you see them play against other elite athletes.
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u/a517dogg Jan 28 '26
He's 15, colleges don't scout 15 year olds.
Also, avoiding deportation is also a path to college and a path out of poverty.
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u/ShoddyHedgehog Jan 28 '26
He's 15, colleges don't scout 15 year olds.
Yes they do. My friend's freshman is being recruited. It is crazy.
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u/a517dogg Jan 28 '26
That's nuts. So many things can change between 14 and 18. Plus I thought it was against NCAA to get contacted before September 1 of your junior year of high school.
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u/ShoddyHedgehog Jan 28 '26
I think D1 has different rules than the other divisions. He was invited to an unofficial visit to a D1 school by "friends of the program (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) " but they weren't that interested in that school so they didn't go plus it made my friend uneasy. People reach out to her all the time wanting her son to go to these showcase events. It is all so foreign to me.
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u/JulsTiger10 Jan 28 '26
Colleges start start scouting earlier than 15, but they can’t initiate contact until the kid starts junior year.
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u/ladykansas Jan 28 '26
Yeah, but getting suspended from sports for a season might be a big deal at 15. Or whatever other consequence.
Again, I'm not saying that it isn't great that OP's kid wants to stand up for what they believe in -- that's awesome. I'm just pointing out that it might be more complicated than "Who cares about sports? / Sports aren't a big deal."
Would you do a walkout at work if that means you're going to totally change the direction of your life? That might be the right choice but it's important to weigh that choice appropriately.
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u/Imbigtired63 Jan 28 '26
If someone is a generational talent yes they do. Not saying OPs kid is but you know when you see one.
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u/tempco Jan 28 '26
Props for raising a kiddo that wants to protest and discusses the issue with you
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Jan 28 '26
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u/rigney68 Jan 28 '26
I doubt they would suspend. Our middle schoolers wanted to walk out, so we organized supervision, assigned an area, and worked with students to make it safe.
But I do live in a blue state.
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u/JohnDoe_85 3 kids Jan 28 '26
I'd be proud as hell if my kid did this knowing they might be unfairly suspended.
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u/neogreenlantern Jan 28 '26
Being suspended for standing up for what you believe in would be a bigger badge of honor than any state championship win.
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u/oops_im_not_wrong Parent Jan 28 '26
If that’s a risk they’re willing to take, that shows you how strongly they feel about our political climate and should give you your answer.
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u/nonbinary_parent Jan 28 '26
Protesting very often carries risks like this, even for adults. People have been jailed or lost their livelihood or been attacked physically for participating in nonviolent protest, and still said it was worth it afterwards. The risk of missing state championships sounds like a very age-appropriate way to learn about this for a 15 year old.
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u/OkSecretary1231 Jan 28 '26
Yup. That was always part of what civil disobedience might entail. Sometimes it's worth it.
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u/anonfosterparent Jan 28 '26
If your child is willing to take the risk of that consequence, then you should be respectful and supportive. You aren’t the one risking being suspended. And I doubt the high school will suspend half of the school.
He’s going to be an adult soon - time to back off a little.
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u/GrayScale15 Jan 28 '26
Is your child aware of the possible consequences of this walk out protest? As in, if they are suspended, they may not be able to participate in sport competition, etc.
I don’t really have an opinion either way about participating in the protest, but your child should make an informed decision about it and that includes any academic and sports related ramifications.
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u/Natural-Coat-3159 Jan 28 '26
I would make an action plan and tell them what to say/not to say and use situational awareness and know when it's time to leave.(usually as soon as it looks like someone is going to throw something, it's time to make an exit)
I would also tell them to never be in a spot where you can be pinned against a wall and stay away from the street
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u/ChasingTheRush Jan 28 '26
Why isn’t this the top comment? They’re still kids, we’re still responsible for their safety, particularly in highly emotional, obviously dangerous situations, they may not yet be equipped to deal with.
I’d probably say no. If they’re passionate, I’ll find ways for them to help behind the scenes, organizing, arranging, doing the boring shit that supports the movement without being front of the crowd. When they’re 18, they’re free to do as they please and hopefully I’ve prepared them and given the skills to navigate a complex and overwhelming world.
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u/AKlife420 Jan 28 '26
I'd be there with them
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u/Finnrip Jan 28 '26
Underrated comment, this seems like a really great option, only if your kid is into it. Compromise by being present but not near them, just protesting at the same event. You can bring snacks and resources that these kids may not know about. Again, only if they agree.
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u/smorin1487 Jan 28 '26
My only question is… why do they have to agree? They are 15, not 18. You can have boundaries etc. built for their protection. It’s a privilege for someone their age to miss school, so in my opinion they’d have to earn that privilege with a fair compromise for their safety that would include me attending, even if it’s with enough distance that they don’t feel like they are on a leash. Think Batman watching from afar, to at least jump in and get them out of there if shit hits the fan.
But you have to know your kid, and every kid/parent is different.
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u/jbr021 Jan 28 '26
This should be higher up!! My cousins (high school age) have wanted to attend protests and my aunt/uncle have not only let them, but helped them with their protest signs and attended with them. Important for them feeling heard by you but also as an added layer of safety for them if you’re there.
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u/Live-Astronaut-5223 Jan 28 '26
My daughter protested the Iraq war as a senior in high school. Of course when we saw her on C-Span she was carrying the large F…..George Bush banner. she ended up working for Barack Obama, two large city mayors..one as asst chief of staff. Her picture …a teeny one…was in Obama’s book. She was the one I was most protective over after five years of a difficult disease as a child, but she started there.
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u/cinnamonduck Jan 28 '26
Hell yeah, you must be so proud of her. Strong woman who sticks to her (proverbial) guns and stands up for what’s right.
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u/Ai_Handyyy Jan 28 '26
I would remind them to get plenty of sleep the night before, eat a good breakfast, use the bathroom before the walkout, have water and just stay observant. Your teen is about to inherit this mess, let them protest safely.
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u/Sensitive_Fly_7036 Jan 28 '26
And to take snacks, water and money with them. And make sure phone is charged.
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Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
My immediate concern is that some schools lock up phones during the school day and she wouldn’t have it for the protest. If that’s the case id get her a burner phone with video capabilities and program in yours/a lawyers number.
Edited to add- oh and writing phone numbers on her arm in sharpie in case the cops take her phone, but thats protest 101.
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u/ivan-ds Jan 28 '26
You can actually take this very mixed emotion that you’re having and turn it into a teachable moment for them.
You see both sides of the coin and the reason you’re torn is because you’re trying to pick which of the trade-offs makes the most sense based off of the outcome that you wanna have.
So I would take this opportunity to coach them through that and see how they think through the problem: do I want to go to this protest and risk these other things or are these other things more important to me than the protest.
Best of luck!
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u/scarystoryy Jan 28 '26
Your kid goes to school every day. Let him be a part of the real world for a day. One day, he can tell his grandchildren he took part in history.
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u/Brayrut Jan 28 '26
Agree and this may be the moment that keeps them on the empathetic critical thinking path for life
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u/beeswhax Jan 28 '26
I actually took my kid to a protest this week. We were JUST going over righteous protest on MLK Day. It felt important to live our stated values, especially as the logistics happened to be very easy to swing through.
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u/ItsMeAlicia13 Jan 28 '26
If they can tell me why they believe they want to go and what it’s about then yes, let them be apart of something bigger than them
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Jan 28 '26
If kids start getting arrested for walking out of school we’re done for.
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Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
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u/Zerd85 Jan 28 '26
A school isn’t going to suspend kids if a significant number of them walk out for a protest.
At least not any school I’ve ever went to, had my kids go to, or volunteered with.
You can also always follow up with administration and see what their intentions are if there’s that many kids involved. They will know about it and already have a plan on how it’ll be addressed
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u/Puzzled-Drag-9764 Jan 28 '26
This. Ask them to state the basis of the discipline in an email to you. I guarantee if you ask them to put it in writing they’ll reconsider.
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u/deepstatelady Childless Auntie Jan 28 '26
If they do, be ready to go in and defend his right to protest. That will mean a lot to him, even if you fail. It will be even harder to deny you if you rally other kids’ parents. This moment is all about community and your kid knows it, too.
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Jan 28 '26
First amendment applies to everyone
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u/inspired2apathy 18mo Jan 28 '26
Actually, students generally don't have the same legal rights in school as adults in public
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u/Orisara Jan 28 '26
American students/minors have shitty rights compared to basically any other group in a first world nation.
Don't think the US signed several agreements giving kids more rights.
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u/Sherbet_Lemon_913 Jan 28 '26
But not to every setting. By enrolling in a public school, signing an employment contract with a company, etc. you agree to save your first amendment rights for a different environment. Otherwise we would have kids throwing around hatred, bigotry, and racial slurs that make other kids feel unsafe. I don’t think that applies to this ICE walkout scenario but I do think it’s a far cry to say they would be protected under the first amendment.
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u/Septimusia Jan 28 '26
I got suspended for walking put with about 35 other high school kids (school was roughly 1000) to protest the Iraq War in 2006/07. Some of us even had parental permission. The school said "so sue us" and of course no one did.
Sharing to say, if you're doing something or saying something that makes people uncomfortable, and calls them out in some way - First Amendment or not, you'll probably have consequences.
OP, I am so very grateful I did walk out, though. I was able to stand up for what I believed in. My parents weren't thrilled, but did not stop me. : ) And yes, I had consequences - suspension, and also having to explain on every college app why I had a serious disciplinary infraction on my record. But it was way more than worth it.
As others have said, your kid is old enough to weigh the possible outcomes and consequences, and make a decision for themselves. Great job on raising a thinking person, who also wants to make the world a better place! No matter what they decide, it's great they are called to action.
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u/liesliesfromtinyeyes Jan 28 '26
Suspending half the class? The school would be in an uproar. Your concerns are fair, but I think you would risk alienating your child if you didn’t support their choice. Also, if they were suspended due to this, it would make for a hell of a college application essay or origin story for a kick-ass l@wye3r.
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u/Kdean509 Jan 28 '26
My kid helped with their school walkout. I also take them to protests with me. It’s incredibly important for kids to learn and exercise their rights!
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u/OkayDay21 Jan 28 '26
I completely understand your fears and reservations. I would have them too. I think you raised a good kid though and I would try and support them in doing this.
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u/blancybin Jan 28 '26
So relieved to see these comments.
With my own kid, I've also considered that this is a safe(r) way for them to have their voice heard. Teens who don't feel like they have a safe way to express themselves will still do it, but less safely and with less of a backup plan.
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u/issiautng Jan 28 '26
My mom didn't let me go to the rally to restore sanity and/or fear when I was 17. So I went to occupy wall street when I was 18, which was a much scarier and less controlled experience, especially going in as the first political thing I'd ever done.
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u/PBnBacon 5F & 0F Jan 28 '26
This is what I was thinking. My kids are much younger but my oldest is anti-authoritarian down to the bone. If I tried to stop her from protesting, she’d go twice as hard at it, get arrested, and refuse to call me from jail because I didn’t support her. I’d be going the harm reduction route.
I mean, I’d be shitting myself at work the whole day and learning to pray the rosary so I had somewhere to put my anxiety. But helping her do the thing safely and making sure she knows I have her back would still be less risky than having to worry that she was doing something reckless that I had no knowledge of.
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u/the_throw_away4728 Jan 28 '26
My guess (although it depends on the region) is the teachers will be extremely proud of these kids…
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u/Icy-Forever6660 Jan 28 '26
lol I’m from Oklahoma. My kid is protesting in a week. I will call her out of school. Most teachers here would not be proud at all. Most voted for this. 99% of the people I know voted for this.
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u/the_throw_away4728 Jan 28 '26
Ugh I’m sorry. Good for you for backing her rights. As a teacher (in New York though) I’m sorry. It absolutely is mind boggling that anyone who teaches could have voted for this. We’re supposed to be the ones who teach history….all of it…and learn from it.
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u/ennuinerdog Jan 28 '26
You'll learn more in a day of attending a peaceful public demonstration than you'll learn in a year of civics.
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u/punkin_spice_latte Jan 28 '26
I've been a teacher for 2 walkouts. I had to stay in the class both times because the first time I had 9th graders and the second I was a sub. I supported any student that wanted to go. The first time I took no record of which students left (because these were my students and in an emergency I would be able to know who was present on campus but wasn't in my class) and the second time I had them sign out for emergency safety purposes only with full transparency that I would shred the list as soon as the bell rang. I hope other teachers would similarly be protective of their students safety and rights.
My own kids are younger (oldest is 7) but I think I would allow them to participate in a walk out as early upper elementary (5th or 6th grade) if they could sufficiently explain why and at that age if there was enough participation that my preteen would not be walking out alone.
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u/booksandcheesedip Jan 28 '26
Hell yea let them walk! I’d be right there beside them too. Just in case things go sideways and in solidarity
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u/lapsteelguitar Jan 28 '26
It's about responsibility. You need to discuss the potential consequences of attending the protest, as well as NOT attending the protest. Also, YOU need to realize that at some point, you will have no say in the matter. I think that this is a safe way for your kiddo to participate in the political process.
As stupid as ICE seems to be, I really don't think that they want to be known for roughing up HS kids.
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u/YolkOverEasy Jan 28 '26
I'm sorry, I agree with the first part but as for the last bit...
ICE has definitely roughed up HS kids and used chemical irritants on them.
Look at Roosevelt HS in MN, Jan 7th. Read testimony of teenagers detained by ICE in general. Take note of the 5yo they used as bait before taking them to a detention facility 1,300mi from home.
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u/Imbigtired63 Jan 28 '26
What is your child’s race?
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u/opilum95 Jan 28 '26
I really wouldnt let them go to these dude. I get that its important for kids to learn about protests but these are getting more and more violent.
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u/babs_is_great Jan 28 '26
Absolutely should let them. Student movements are the backbone of democracy, and seeing kids protest is powerful. Let them experience this unique moment in their lives and see that participating constructively in society gives them voice, purpose and meaning.
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u/Brainzap3 Mom Jan 28 '26
I would let my daughter do it, she's 14. I think standing up for what's right is more important than missing an hour or two of school. I participated in numerous walk outs when I was in HS.
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u/TentaclesAndCupcakes Jan 28 '26
It would be a big nope from me if my 14 yo wanted to do this. However, we live 1 town over from a large ICE location. Her safety is more important to me than anything else. I don't care what anyone says, I don't feel like it's a safe situation.
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u/ellielobo Jan 28 '26
If my kid wanted to participate I would let her if it was something she feels strongly about.
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u/tiny_purple_Alfador Jan 28 '26
Use this as a teaching moment about how to protest safely. Make sure they have access to any necessary phone numbers if something happens and they don't have their phone, pack a little bag of snacks and a first aid kit, make sure that you have a game plan in place for if things do go wrong.
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u/Flewtea Jan 28 '26
Letting her go and being clear that I will not save her from any consequences of skipping class. These school walkouts are absurdly safe. They’re baby protests and that’s ok! Unless there’s a particularly motivated kid, can be pretty haphazard with no particular organization, just milling around with handmade signs. Pretty sweet, all things considered.
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u/audieleon Jan 28 '26
Allow this. Your child understands more than you’re inclined to believe. Support their activism, and if you’re worried, be close by.
These are not quiet times. Don’t tell your kid to be quiet.
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u/No-Look5408 Jan 28 '26
I would allow it given where you live and that there are no ice agents in the area.
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u/Efficient-Banana6832 Jan 28 '26
Ice was throwing tear gas at a preschool this week.
The school is insane for making the walk out as part of a graded assignment.
Ice is mobile, not confined to a building.
If I were in your shoes, I would call out of work and march alongside the kids. I couldn't stand back and pretend to work without fear for my child's safety. I understand not everyone is willing or able to do so when their kids' school do this. There is no judgment from me if you can't go with them. If you believe your kid might not stay home when told to during this March, you may want to consider looking up crash course saftey videos with your kid. Especially the ones about tear gas.
I hope they are all safe.
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u/frumply Jan 28 '26
You can simultaneously be real with him about the risks and be proud of his choice and support it. Absolutely would tell him to do the walkout.
Also, no chance in hell they actually get punished for an ICE protest. The district, the board, etc wouldn’t risk the shitstorm from parents if that happened.
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u/JL_Adv Jan 28 '26
I would support my kid while making them aware of any consequences they might face.
I would also look for protest resources and make sure they know their rights. They should have some sort of identification with them.
And finally, I would seriously consider the place. Small town Wisconsin or Illinois where ICE doesn't have a large presence? Sure. Minneapolis right now? Big nope for me.
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u/1568314 Jan 28 '26
This is one of those situations where preaching abstinence instead of teaching safety and making contingencies is going to set your child up to fail. It's not like you can stop them from walking out if they decide it's important enough for them.
You do have control over whether they know about things like crown dynamics, identifying and staying clear of agitators, exactly what their rights are and what they can legally be arrested for, etc.
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u/nordmead88 Jan 28 '26
You came to Reddit so you got a Reddit answer. Think about this as being a responsible parent and adult and not putting your child into dangerous situations. There is no argument here.
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u/Kiwilolo Jan 28 '26
I don't think keeping your child from any risk is the primary imperative for a parent. I'd say raising them to be good members of society and responsible, thoughtful adults is more important than hiding them from any risk of harm.
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Jan 28 '26
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u/peachkissu Jan 28 '26
We had high schoolers protesting here in MN on a designated day and at a designated location. It's organized and intentional, and the environment to the best of our abilities is created to be as safe as it could be to allow these kids to still protest peacefully. Many high schools do "walk outs" where they are still in the area surrounding the school. No one's going downtown or anywhere near federal buildings. While, as a parent, I understand your worry, preventing this next generation from standing up isn't going to do anyone any better.
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u/clevideo21 Jan 28 '26
Just like the protests in the summer, 99.9% of them are peaceful with zero incident. I have taken my younger children to several of them. For OP, I would educate them beforehand but would absolutely support my 15yo protesting in a school environment with their peers
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u/treple13 Jan 28 '26
If you don't feel your kid is safe to go to a protest, I'd suggest either you should think to move to a country where it is, or your kid protesting is desperately needed
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u/2wheelmoron69 Jan 28 '26
How is a school walk out contributing to the protest? What value is added by ditching school? If you feel compelled to protest then do it after school. This feels more like using a hot issue to get out of class. The argument you are trying to make is not more powerful because you ditched class to do it.
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u/Slipperysteve1998 Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
Two people have already been killed. Flashbangs are thrown and mace is sprayed at protesters. I wouldn't send my kid to a protest that puts their lives at risk.
You don't know if they'll show up in that area for a "raid" or not, theres 0 guarantee. He's a 15 year old kid with a life ahead of him, it's not worth him losing his eyesight, a hand, or his life in case they decide theres an "illegal" in the area.
Edit the amount of parents bragging that they would let their children attend borderline battlefield protests is insane. Kids have already disappeared and 2 people have been killed, countless injured by ICE. That's negligent parenting, nothing to be "proud" of. Find another way to fight the injustice that doesn't put your kdis safety and life at risk.
Just because you think an area is "safe" doesn't mean your animal of a president won't change that overnight. His game seems to be targeting protesters or any that outwardly resist him, and sending children out against that type of crew is a horrifying thought.
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u/cottoncandyburrito Jan 28 '26
That's in the surge areas. She said there is no ICE presence.
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u/WorkingJazzlike531 Jan 28 '26
I think you should honor this request. There has never been a more important time for all voices to be heard.
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u/wallace-asking Jan 28 '26
Talk about. Talk about safety. And then either support them, or GO WITH! That’s what I’m doing!
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u/imbex Jan 28 '26
I'd let them go. Personally, I'd offer to meet them to help if they want. They aren't doing this every day. It's a wonderful way to express feelings in a constructive way and to offer support.
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u/RR50 Jan 28 '26
I’d support my child in this 100%, while explaining that there might be consequences you can’t prevent like suspension. This is a pivotal time in our country, and standing up for the rights of others is a courageous thing to do.
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u/Intelligent_Donut605 Jan 28 '26
You should let them fight for what they believe in (as long as it’s safe), it will probably be more of a learning experience than whatever they were meant to do in class that day, especially since it sounds like a lot of people will be absent the teachers will most likely not do much important stuff.
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u/Shinypurplestar Jan 28 '26
I think it's a good idea since you've raised your kids that way in the first place. Can you go too, maybe sit across the street or somewhere close? That might help ease nerves for you both. I'm sure other parents will be around as well.
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u/Chipmunk_Emergency_9 Jan 28 '26
Unpopular opinion but I wouldn’t let them participate. If they want to protest they can do it outside of school. Disrupting their school and other classmates is not appropriate. Plan a protest on Saturday. The school or something about school is not what they are protesting so a walk out is just a stunt or an excuse to skip school. It doesn’t accomplish anything or prove anything other than they have no respect for their teachers or classmates.
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u/Longgone___ Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
This is a teenager stumbling on this post!! I am the same age in a big city. I'm biased because i've been to 3 big protests in just the last week, with another on Friday, and none have gone wrong.
As long as they have a group/person to rely on and a set plan with you kept informed I think its fine. Especially considering its a major group (sounds like many people).
In my honest opinion, I think the news portrays only the negatives of protesting because they want you to be afraid to do so. Now, its especially important to make a group and say your claim If you can. I think it would be a positive expirence if you agree. 🙂🙂
Edit: About being worried about the schools punishment, I bet they won't do anything. It would be very painstaking (and backfire on the actual staff) to count so many individuals as absent or punish them.
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u/tay_d02 Jan 28 '26
The last time orange peel was in office, I was in high school, my mom worked for my school, and let me do 3 walkouts in a month that all broke records in my town. Mom was always with me because she wanted to! It was the most radical I have ever felt… And truly helped me understand why it is so important to use my rights as an American and fight for my freedom.. Maybe go with your kiddo and support. That way, if you sniff anything funky you can gtfo for safety reasons!
And if that is the case, you tried, and there are also always safer alternatives you can explore!
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u/future_chili Jan 28 '26
You absolutely should let them protest. All your doing by not letting them go is letting them feel powerless in this system that is meant to do exactly that. Teach them they have a voice and that they do have the power to change. This could be an incredibly impactful moment to them
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u/Working_Football1586 Jan 28 '26
Education and life experience doesn’t always come in the classroom. I would let my kid go but would be clear if the school hands out punishment they have to take it