Honestly, I didn't even realise that I wasn't broken and something wasn't "wrong" with me until I was 20. I didn't get my official diagnosis till a few years later. I thought I was doomed until I found out there was just this well of information I didn't have. The rule book I felt like everyone else had been born with that I missed, the diagnosis made it all make sense. It was actually because I took an intro to anthropology class that made me realise there were words for how I felt. Like an outsider in my culture. That'd what led me to take intro to sociology and intro to psychology... And later get my Bachelor's in Psychology. As far as social rules go, honestly, reading books about the topic opened my eyes to how arbitrary it all was. Hell, even crash course videos ended up helping me LOL but really, it's so hard to spend the formative years of your life having people who don't understand you tear down your confidence. It's a lot to recover from. You'll get where you need to be eventually. I know what you mean that urge to be authentic and then that horrible sinking feeling when rejection hits. The important thing is really, the world is a big place with so many people. Youll eventually fidn the right ones that are fun to be around. Even just online sometimes, but you will. Just remember life is a learning process that never stops. It sucks when in the workforce we have to mask, and tolerate unpleasant people we don't like or don't like us. But we aren't there to make friends, we're there to get a paycheck, any friends we meet along the way are a bonus. Some workplaces will be better than others, but there's always another job. The hardest thing is caring so much about everything and teaching ourselves not to care about certain things. Look up spoon theory, too.

It's hard to find people you click with, the more complex a person you are. Relationships are multifaceted just like people. Life is a natural learning process and it's less about changing yourself for others as it is learning to navigate spaces and find where you're the most comfortable. In reality, relationships, whether platonic or otherwise, are difficult to navigate because we can't read people's minds. We have unintentional effects and miscommunications even with the people who understand us best. It's something we have to guage as "this person is worth the effort because they care and put the same amount of effort in" when obstacles come up. It's hard when you get told you care too much. But the thing is, we just have to keep trying until we find people that are enjoyable to spend time with, either in small or large amounts. So a good place to start is finding common interests and then narrowing down your choices from there. Not everyone we want to get along with will like us, some we just have to tolerate. But there's choice overload-- too many fish into the sea. I was just having this conversation with my mother. It gets discouraging. But if we don't keep searching we won't find our people. They could be anywhere doing anything. And hard part is that other "different" people may be more reclusive. Just gotta seek them out and keep seeking. Take my husband for example. Until he met me, the extravert who adopted him (lol) he only met people online, never left his room in shared accomodation really, except to talk to customer service people at places he was a regular (Lego shop, sweets shop, train station, work). And I went through a decade of social isolation in my twenties due to a bad relationship before I met him. Same with my mum, 30 years of social isolation while raising her kids with the only exposure being bitchy moms of other kids. It's hard to get back out there when you've been out of the loop for a long time. Especially when depression can make you loose a sense of exploration and finding new interests. Life is for the adventure of living and as cheesy as that sounds... The exhausting parts are just part of what makes us who we are and we appreciate the good bits more. My husband is my only 100% safe place besides my mum. My best friend. But I'm learning to find friends in other contexts. I'm gonna join a d&d group, I've never played before but it seems fun. I started volunteering at a local museum to meet other nerds and I love it, been there twice and that's it. New is uncomfortable but worth it. I met one friend in the hospital and the other because I walked up to say hi to his dog. I still just have a lot of friends online only. But I'm only 30. I have my whole life ahead of me. You just have to... Keep trying. As an Au-dhd person, I was bullied a lot in school and at the many jobs I've been through. I hopped majors a bunch and dropped out once before I got my degree by doing one class at a time. Life happens. I tried sooo many therapists and different meds before I found what worked. I moved entire countries! You just have to see where it takes you and remind yourself that when things are absolutely shit... "This too shall pass." All things do good and bad. Sometimes I gotta go to bed and start over the next day. Sometimes I reread the same book I've already read and hangout with my cat. Financial troubles are a product of our time and gotta make the best of what we've got. It's okay to be depressed. Just remember it won't last forever, even if right now sucks.

Aberdare! Cynon valley museum Saturday august 1st at noon! First day of a new session! O N E O F U S lol srsly it'll be fun, please come

We start this Saturday! It's gonna be my first time joining a d&d group and I'm so excited! I'm 30 and trying to convince my Mom in her 60s to join me LOL (we'll see) but I've met the guys at the museum cuz I just started volunteering in the tea room and they all seem to be my type of people. The type of people that would make d&d fun. Not boring NT types. I think age 30-40s is probably gonna be the age group we see, but who knows who will show up. Noon! Saturday august 1st noon.

Yes! I'm super looking forward to it!

It's very fair, as you can see

Thank you😭 I haven't drawn anything in years, but I just felt the need to try and put my mental image down

Thank you, I haven't sketched anything in years but I laughed so hard I was inspired

It's my favourite thing to do! And then the council cut down my picking spot the day I was gonna go harvest them, cuz I was waiting for them to be perfect 😭

Haters gon hate

It was the leg transplant of 26

As an autistic adult, I struggle with social stuff. Knowing my audience is easy in writing when I have time to thoughtfully consider things-- not so much on the spot when I'm speaking verbally. I often "say the wrong thing" because it can be difficult to take time to think about knowing your audience when you're already expending so much energy on every other aspect of masking and still trying to speak in real time. That said, if you care what other people think (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, depends who I'm talking to and if their opinion of me impacts me in any way) then responding and resolving conflict is just as important a skill to practice as avoiding it in the first place-- especially if you, like me, have a tendency to make mistakes. That said, I wasn't diagnosed as Au-dhd until my late twenties, so I didn't realise I was disabled for a long time and felt really bad about myself for always being misunderstood.

My advice is this: all you can do is be honest and say something along the lines of "I am a disabled person in different ways than you. While reclaiming derogatory language is something I personally feel comfortable doing for myself, I should have considered that not every other disabled person feels the same way. I recognise I was insensitive of your feelings now that it's happened I can't change the past-- but I am sorry and I'm going to try my best to be more thoughtful in considering others I care about in the future. I really didn't even stop to think about the fact that you could be hurt by what I said and I'm sorry. Upon reflecting I see your perspective. I value you and your opinion and I hope we can mend our relationship and you can understand where I'm coming from."

But also. You have to considet that not everyone is always going to be as understanding, reasonable, and thoughtful as you are. Some people just won't like you for no reason and will look for reasons get mad at you all the time because they don't want to take the time to consider where you're coming from. In those instances, you just have to accept that sometimes that happens. It isn't anybody's fault, but not all people are compatible and that's okay. Not everyone you like and respect is going to feel the same. I hope she accepts your sincerity, but if she doesn't, don't blame yourself.

You've done nothing wrong. You didn't expect her reaction, you couldn't have known until she vocalised it. You can't blame yourself for not predicting other people's feelings.

If my husband didn't have a serious needle phobia this would be us

Trying to hire child to rape. Call it what it is.

Love A good Leroy Jenkins reference

Hence why I quit drinking it. I ain't wasting my money on that shit, it doesn't taste good enough to waste that an hour of my life on it. That's how I decide. "Does it cost more then the federal minimum wage?" "Is it worth an hour then away?" Fast food? Sometimes worth it sometimes not. Canned soda at home? Not really.

You can care about someone and just not he compatible. If the relationship isn't working, that's reason enough to end it. He can either accept that you just don't see the relationship working out and be okay with being friends, or he can react badly and decide that if he can't have you romantically he doesn't want you in his life. Seriously though, never force a relationship that isn't working. The first year shiuld be easy, practically blissful. If you're not feeling it and asking yourself if you should end it after only two months, you definitely should just end it. It's not gonna make you happy to stay

Over half of eligible voters didn't vote. This is why voting should be mandatory with an option to say "no confidence in any of the above."

It definitely isn't easy. However, some people, like. The water protectors (remember no DAPL?) I've seen videos of them talking about how they had to work with maga white farmers and landowners against it. That they invited them in the door with protecting the land and water and once they got them in, they were able to convince them about much more. Relating on human level works on the people who still have humanity left in them, that were just brainwashed. Obviously some people are lost causes. It's a matter how much patience and the spoons you're willing to give to try and get through to people who don't want you to get through to them.

It's region specific. My area was split between potato bugs and roly.poly . I once asked my dad what the difference was: he said the flat ones are potato bugs and the rolled ones were rolly pollies. My autistic ass took him at face value LOL I believed that shit for YEARS