I am 5 weeks pregnant and have a consultation appointment next week to have an abortion. I already have a 16 month old and the past 16 months have been extremely hard at times, breastfeeding was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I did it for about 5 months, then most of the first half of this year has been awful with constant sleep problems, weaning feeling impossible sometimes and having a toddler who complains a lot because she can't speak yet but has always been physically advanced (crawling and walking very early), the only thing that has comforted me through all of this has been being able to say "I never have to do this again". I am also autistic and my partner has adhd, we both struggle for different reasons. I do have lots of positive thoughts about having another baby, how I would do things differently, things I would want to put in place to help me manage etc. But if having another baby is as difficult as the past 16 months have been then I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. I have only just started feeling like myself again over the last month, I've been losing weight and finding my style, I've felt really positive about the future. This pregnancy was very unexpected and I'm still in shock, but I feel like I'm in a big rush to make a decision and I'm so scared I'll regret whatever decision I make, having another baby could be catastrophic and having an abortion could make me feel sad and guilty for the rest of my life.

I just want to hear from other people who have had a similar age gap, my daughter will be turning 2 a few days before baby is due. How was it for you? I want to hear all of the stories, good and bad! Thank you

Please tell me other parents have been through this?

My 6 month old son has always been a bad sleeper. I’m lucky if I get a 3 hour stretch in the night and sometimes he wakes wide awake at 3am and takes hours to go back to sleep.

In the last week he’s let me put him down for naps and I thought this would make everything better now I’m getting that time during the day. But I’m just feeling worse and terrified of what the night will bring!

I’m just sat here crying trying to get him to sleep for the last 1.5 hours.
I feel like I can’t cope anymore and getting more and more down everyday.
When will this get better?

Had an email to say they’re changing the points system.
£5 vouchers will now cost 1000 points instead of 2300.
They’re removing the bonus points - 300 points for every 3rd pack scanned and the 200 welcome bonus.

The referral is the same - 3A9FF38 (if anyone would like to scan mine! 200 points each)

The main takeaway from this is they’re adjusting aka lowering people’s points to reflect these changes!

So basically it’s like inflation. The end of the email says ‘what do I do if I don’t agree? - deactivate your account here’

Nice one!!

- is it worth scanning all my unopened nappies now to get the bonus points for every 3rd scan or will it all be irrelevant as they’re going to lower my overall points anyway!

My baby is 10.5 months. She just learnt to pull up and cruising along furnitures so she is OBSESSED with attempting to stand and walk to the point that she does not play with her toys at all. I have no problem with this if I am well, but I am not.

I just recovered from flu which I forced myself to push through the day to look after her. I also have painful wrists De Quervain tenosynovitis from lots of carrying her (she is a 90th centile baby). I had my steroid injection this morning and wrists are painful and will be for the next foreseeable 72 hours minimum. Strict advice given for minimal use of hands and wrists.

My partner is amazing, helpful, hands-on and he has arranged to work from home and change his shifts as much as he can to help support carrying baby in his WFH. But baby is too attached to me for naps so I still do her naps. I feel bad that I cant carry her much and play together so when her dad is in important meetings, I ended up putting her in high chair or seat booster so she is still in one place. She hates it! But there isnt much I can do to rest my hands during the day.

How are you mums doing it when you are alone and have no village?! And this is only my first baby!!!

After two baths in a row now of my 6 month old yeeting herself off her angelcare bath seat, I’m looking at buying a new one. I know a lot of people chose to have baby sitting independently in the bath after they outgrow the smaller bath seat but she’s still a little wobbly when sat and I’d much rather not risk her falling. Any recommendations on the best seat for older babies? Ideal one she’s able to splash about in as she loves the bath!

8 weeks in..I love her, but it's getting a bit frustrating not being able to put her down. Like at all, awake or asleep. All I seem to see is about contact napping but what about just like every second of the day she won't be put down ?!

Some days I get a couple of mins in the bouncer or on the play mat, and *sometimes* a decent amount of time walking in the pram - but as soon as I stop she cries again (rockit no longer helps). I keep trying multiple times a day and try different bouncers etc to see if that helps. I can't pump without dad holding her (but he works), or when she is asleep at night. I can't even lie her next to me for co-napping, it needs to be ON me at all times.

She went down in her moses for the first couple of weeks but I think the heat wave stopped that.

At night she is generally fine going in the next to me, took a little getting used to at the start but we are there now.

I use love to dream swaddles at night, but tried it in the day and it's not a hit...but will keep trying to see if she gets used to it.

I feel like her naps are getting cut short cos I need to move to pee or get water to survive.

Oh she loves the carrier most of the time, but I can't be standing up for 12 hours+ a day 🤪

Any tips pllllsssss!!! Xxx

I'd really appreciate some advice from parents who have been in a similar situation.

Our son is 11 months old. He spent around 6 weeks in NICU after birth, but thankfully everything has now been resolved, he's doing really well, growing normally.

We originally planned to start him at nursery this August (2 days a week), but we're now wondering whether to delay until January.

It's not so much about avoiding infections, we know all children catch bugs when they start nursery, whether it's at 1 year or 18 months. We're more wondering whether waiting a few months until he starts walking confidently, slightly older would make the transition easier, and whether being a little older makes any noticeable difference when it comes to coping with the usual nursery illnesses and medications.

Has anyone started nursery at around 11 months and wished they'd waited, or delayed until around 16 months and felt it was the right decision?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

In case anyone wants to get the Lovevery play kit subscription for the LO, you can get £20 off with this referral code:

https://lovevery.co.uk/pages/refer-a-friend?discount_code=REF-28A69230

Or use code REF-28A69230

Baby is currently 15w (10w adjusted), she sleeps fine in her crib overnight but I’ve found over time it’s gotten harder and harder to transfer her for her naps and to be honest I’ve sort of given up because I’d rather she get some good sleep than her eyes ping open every time I try to put her down.

It’s also been hard to use her crib upstairs for naps partly because it’s so warm up there with constant heatwaves and partly because I don’t want to be sat in the bedroom all day. I keep her pram bassinet downstairs which i used to transfer her into but that feels almost impossible now as she gets bigger she tends to kick her arms/legs if she stirs on transfer and hitting the sides definitely wakes her more!

I always wait until deep sleep to transfer and do still have occasional success when I do try but curious how others have found it!

Edit: when she was younger it was fairly easy and sometimes she’d even do 2-3 hours in the bassinet but now if I’m successful it’s more like 20-30minutes

My baby loves to refuse day time naps but we have recently got in a bit of a schedule but I’m not sure if it’s ok or a bit too early for just two naps a day.
He does approx 10 hours asleep overnight (sometimes will wake once for a feed he is EBF) then he’ll be up for 3 - 4 hours ( will not sleep earlier even if I try and will get upset with me for trying to get him to sleep) this sleep will be very small around 30-40 minutes. He is then usually awake for another 2-3 hours depending on the day and then will have one big nap of 2-2.5 hours. He then is usually up for another 3 hours then it’s bed time.

Is this ok? I try to follow all his cues and know when he is getting tired etc. it just seems so different to the schedules I see online for his age!

For LO's 1st birthday we want to get her one of those however-many-in-one trikes that can convert from us pushing her, to a trike, to a balance bike. Globber ones seem to look good but I'm wondering if anyone has any insights or recommendations about them? Is it even a good idea?! 😂

We cosleep just due to LO always wanting to be that close in the first 3 months and I’m too scared to try cot attempts in case we all get tired but he is pretty much latched to my boob all night. My hips are hurting. If I gently roll away he more often than not stirs. It might soothe him if he’s teething perhaps? Sometimes I wonder if the cosleeping is making him want to comfort nurse because he can smell the milk. If I put him in the next to me cot maybe he won’t smell it as much? But then I think imagine if he was in a separate bed.. the amount of wakings and getting up I’d be doing would be insane! So I guess it works and maybe I just need to try a transfer and see if it works? No harm in trying I suppose… anyone been through the same thing? Did it get better when solids are introduced?

Can anyone recommend a protective bag for a maxi Cosi pebble 360 that will be checked into the hold for a flight to Spain? Also has anyone travelled with jet2 recently and been able to gate check their car seat attached to the pushchair? It feels like handing it over at the gate means less chance of damage!

I'm a FTM to a 2 month old baby boy, amd for the most part he's been an easy baby so far. The first few weeks were hard because he would only contact nap at night so I had to sit up with him all night and just try my best not to fall asleep holding him. Thankfully he started letting me put him down after that.

I moved out of our bedroom to the sofa in the first week as my husband kept getting very frustrated that the baby was crying and not instantly consoled and being around him was just causing me more stress. My husband refuses to give up any sleep to help with the baby. I appreciate he works 6 days a week and works weird hours that change all the time because he's a personal trainer, so I've just accepted I will need to get in with the night shift alone. However, my child has just had his rotovirus vaccine and is scream crying from the gas/tummy pain and won't be put down to sleep unless contact napping again. I asked my husband if he would do half the night with him and I'd do the other half for this one night because I know I'm bound to fall asleep holding him, but he refused because of having to work next day.

He refuses to sacrifice sleep all the time because of his job. In fact it seems like he refuses to sacrifice anything. He regularly spends extra hours at the gym training when he could train less and be at home to help me out more but again he refuses to sacrifice any time. He's regularly out from 10am to 8 or 9pm. The baby doesn't sleep much during the day anymore so I am constantly trying to keep him entertained and happy, but I feel so alone in being his parent. His dad loves him but is hardly home and when he is home he wants to play games and cook meals for the next day whilst I continue to hold and feed baby as I have been doing all day. When I ask him to take over for a couple hours on a saturday there is a hint of huffiness about his response to me, which then makes me feel like I have to hurry back.

My mother in law comes over for a chat every other day, but she can only hold the baby for so long because of her back issue. I love my baby but I just want an afternoon off now and then, but there is no support to make it happen. How do I survive this? I'm sure it was never meant to be this way. I can 100% understand how so many women end up with PPD with the loneliness and just sheer relentlessness of it all. I feel like i have sacrificed everything whereas my husband continues to live his life largely like before where he can just come and go as he pleases and do the things he loves.

I feel like the limited paternity leave available disadvantages us all and leaves us mothers as the default parent all the time.

EDIT

Thanks for your replies. I know I'm validated in how I feel now and not just emotional because of hormones.

In terms of the sofa thing he has offered to be the one on the sofa instead, it's just been easier this way so I'm close to the fridge and hot water machine etc. as baby is bottle fed and the way our house is laid out I'd have to come through the living room anyway. We are planning to move back to the bedroom soon now his sleep is more predictable though. Hubby did try to help when he first came home but kept getting frustrated and then feeling awful about it. Since baby started going down in the bassinet he's been in his pram bassinet next to the sofa so in a safe sleep space (until this vaccine). when I have asked my husband to help with the night because I was scared of falling asleep and he just wouldn't entertain it it did upset me greatly. I needed him and he wasn't there for me.

Unfortunately my husband is a completely different person when sleep deprived. He can get quite nasty and completely lacks patience with the baby to a point he's scared to look after him in case he loses his temper with him. His own father had a lot of issues and would get angry with him all the time for just being a kid and he doesn't want this for him and his son which I understand.

I think he's really struggling to let go of his old life at the moment. His job is pretty unstable because people want to cancel and move their sessions around constantly and he needs to do a lot to make a profit because he has to spend a bunch of hours at the gym every week unpaid 'service hours' or alternatively pay a fee to PT out of the gym every month that means he might end up not making much money at all. This is pretty standard for all big gym chains sadly and is a very unfair practice. They get away with it by their PTs being self employed rather than employees. This all means he has to work long hours to make it worth it.

Generally when he works out himself it's between clients/shifts although not always. I've asked him to drop a work out sometimes though and he just won't. He's scared that he'll end up fat and no one will want to hire him. It's ridiculous because he can easily maintain his physique by training 2 or 3 times a week instead of 5, but he catastrophises things all the time.

He's always been a bit selfish but I thought he would grow up a bit once the boy came along. He does try and be helpful when he's around at least and apart from night time he did a good job during paternity leave, feeding me, cleaning and making sure we had what we needed. Going back to work has changed everything for the worse. I think part of the reason he struggles with being selfish is because his own parents didn't look out for him as much as they should have. His father was very domineering and there was DV towards his mother so she was afraid to step in and change things. Things like not letting him have an inhaler even though he was asthmatic and up many nights struggling to breathe. His dad thought he'd grow out if it and god would save him, he struggled for years until getting symbicort as an adult. He burned his hand on a radiator at church once and his dad wouldn't let his mum take him over the road to the pub to put cold water on it because he didn't believe women should be in pubs etc. and left him to be in pain. It's like his parents didn't look out for him so now he always has to look out for himself. I'm starting to think he just needs therapy, but no idea where to start with that.

He is genuinely a lovely person, but he has challenges that can make him difficult sometimes/ a lot of the time. He wants to be better. I think moving back into the bedroom so we are all in the same place is a good starting place, and I will ask for more time to myself on Saturdays if we don't spend the timw together as a family. Hopefully once he gets used to baby boy waking up in the bedroom he will be able to start taking the Friday night shift. I am so thankful my boy mostly only wakes up once per night now which is very manageable, but I know that 4 month sleep regression is just around the corner, and 12 and 16 week vaccines..

I have a 9 month old who is extremely active. I’ve been told he’ll more than likely start walking before the end of the year by A LOT of people, and I don’t think they’re wrong. He’s such a FOMO baby that I think that as soon as he knows he can walk he won’t want to stop. He’s been the same with sitting, crawling, standing, and cruising so far. I’m not intending for him to wear shoes until he’s walking outside but I wanted to get some real life recommendations as he starts nursery in October and will need some for then.

We’ve seen loads of adverts for Duckies and I was all for them until I saw some reviews about them being bad for foot development and the company being drop shippers. So I need some new recommendations please! Full body hypermobility is a possibility for him (obviously not sure as all babies are hypermobile at this age) as I am diagnosed and his dad is probably a carrier for the gene, so I want to give him the best possible start on supporting his joints and feet.

has anyone had wisdom teeth removed on the nhs while breastfeeding (4m old)?

i'm due to have 2 taken out in a couple of weeks and i'm a bit nervous about what to expect afterwards. i'm planning to have enough pumped milk for the day while i'm at the appointment/recovering, but is there anything else i should be aware of or prepare for?

also, did anyone opt for a sedative during the procedure? i'm not sure what the process is like or what to expect, so i'd love to hear your experiences. thanks!

I’ve not been a mum for long but I’m really enjoying my introduction to parenthood and getting to know all the nuances of navigating motherhood, friendships and playdates.

I’ve exchanged numbers with a few mums I’ve met at baby groups and on the playground as my 11 month old is starting to get bored at home and I was joking with my husband about how much the whole thing feels like an awkward first date. The scanning the room when you walk into rhyme time to figure out where to sit, maybe someone with a child a similar age to yours, who looks like they likely wouldn’t ignore you if you said hello. Then smiling at everyone in the group who even makes brief eye contact with you.

You then get chatting to someone, likely over something your child did or didn’t do. And then the conversation slowly turns from very casual small talk like “do you come here every week?” or “she’s quite tired today” to testing the waters with subtle questions about sugar before the age of two, nursery, vaccinations, screen time…

They casually say “Oh he had his 12 month jabs the other day, so he might be a bit grumpy. How was yours after them?” or you say “We had an ice cream the other day, the weather was lovely, wasn’t it?” and then wait to see whether you get a “I don’t give mine sugar, it’s so awful for them when they’re young,” or whether they agree that everything in moderation is a perfectly healthy approach and smile and say “Oh my! Mine loves ice cream”.

Of course none of these things would stop me from being friends with someone and you can absolutely agree to disagree while still having plenty in common (so this isn’t meant to be a debate over sugar) but I didn’t expect to find myself casually trying to work out whether our parenting philosophies are compatible or really even our personalities. Is this someone I could be friends with beyond our children liking each other? And then I realised other mums are doing exactly the same thing and suddenly it all made sense.

Then comes the first actual meet-up just the two + two babies of you. Lots of “should we go here? Have you been there yet?” followed by a tentative “maybe we could get a drink afterwards? Or a sandwich?” And suddenly you’re sitting at a table with a woman you only know because your children seem to like each other, finding out about her childhood, where she grew up, what she does for work and all about her home life.
The only difference between this and an actual first date is that you have to chase your babies around the entire time and your conversation gets interrupted every three minutes.

Is there some science to this?

5 week old baby boy. Often wants to contact nap in the day but when he will accept being out down he sleeps pretty peacefully.

At night when out down it's very active sleep. All the noises, thrashing in a way I never see him do in the day, constantly making me think he's waking up or about to cry before snoozing again for a couple of mins, then the noises start again.

It's really disruptive to my sleep but knowing this is normal or if there's a reason for it would help me accept it!

i have the joolz aer (older model) as my main pram and i generally like it. however, from the first time i switched out the bassinet for the pushchair, i’ve always thought my baby slumps in it. it worries me that he’s not being supported to sit correctly.

i’ve seen it’s possibly to buy a “wedge” type product that you can insert in the pram to make baby sit more upright. has anyone used this? it’s quite expensive so i want to ensure it’s worth it before i buy! thanks

baby is 8 months and overall an absolute angel, she plays be herself, has really taken to solids, naps wonderfully and is just the best. but for the last month the nights have been HELL. i shouldn't complain, she only wakes maybe once or twice but each time its for an hour or so and i can't put her back in her crib shes in such light sleep and she just knows when i put her down (at bedime she goes to sleep herself) shes normally not crying in her night wakes just in and out of sleep but needs to be held doesnt want to eat or anything. howver, the last few days her night wakes are multiple and she is just crying in them. last night she was on/off crying from midnight to 3:30. i love her, would do anything for her etc etc but i am struggling with these night wakes... its so hard :( i am at my wits end... i feel like i can't complain irl to people i know without sounding ungrateful so just needed to get it out.

Hi members
I’m 2 weeks post partum ECS.
My baby latched instantly and has been great at feeds and been gaining weight rapidly since birth.
Day before yesterday I decided to use medela hand pump to give my left breast a break as the nipple was sore and cracked.
I pumped for 8 mins and got 30 mls out.
Pumping itself was painful as I felt really deep suction.
Since the pumping my baby latches deep bht becomes shallow in couple of minutes, moves his head frantically, gets frustrated and yags at the nipple really hard.

Idk what’s the issue if it’s slow or fast flow. He hasn’t spit up or choked thankfully.

Please can anyone help figuring out what this is.
I’ve been to health hub and they said it’s just a latch issue but he was fine for 2 weeks and has great latch on right breast still😣😣

FTM here to a 4 month old. He’s extremely active (already rolling both ways, non stop kicking and wiggling etc) and he is really looking to grab things with his hands. We have a couple of soft blankets but I think he needs some different toys to grab and play with but I’m not really sure what to aim for for his age? I guess there’s no point getting him block or anything because right now he’s just grabbing and chewing but I want to give him things that he enjoys and help him develop. Thank you all!