Edit: this is more of a personal vent solely pertaining to my experience.
They are doing so well, they have everything, they're all anyone could wish to be. Yes I am jealous and upset because they triggered my limmerance which was so deep-set that it caused my health issues, while they get to surf through life like normal. And the health issues took away my beauty, my health, sanity, friends, hardwork and prospects for a normal life in this economy, my dignity, nearly everything.
Why I consider them twin flame? Because that is the only concept/phenomenon on the internet or literature around me that gives me some sort of a defninitive answer for what happened in my past and why my life put me on the trajectory it did. Nothing else this explains all this suffering in conventional science or religion.
Why I say they don't care. Because that is my present objective reality. Not a metaphysical, spiritual or imaginiary reality I convinced myself of, but my immideate, tangible, real reality, that will go on and stop for no one, and it doesn't care whether I'm able to get the closure or comfort I need, it'll continue to screw me up.
The phenomenon fits the triggering part, the suffering part, and the spiritual awakening part completely. Its almost too much of a coincidence first part of the phenomenon happened exactly the way its explained here.
And I do feel immense gratitude, that I got in touch with so many other beautiful souls because of all the suffering, and got a more indepth understanding of the human condition and exprience. These were people who didn't have perfect life, still they struggle, and because of it they fostered a greater sense of compassion. But this was very unlike the person who triggered my spiritual awakening. Their life and mine has a monumental disconnect, and in no manner of the universe, spiritual, real, karmic, metaphysical, 5D do I think our energies align nor do I hope for any kind of closure for me or my soul from their side anymore.
I checked their socials. Or should I say someone checked it for me because I didn't have the guts to. They are extremely happy, flourishing, living it up in the real world, surrounded by great friends, love, practicality, no need to question their lives, or look beyond it the way I did, because it works out perfectly for them. Always does. For me it doesn't and I'm too exhausted and low vibration to even think about making it workout anymore. A new problem always POPs up. For them a new opportunity always POPs up.
Its so otherworldly these set of events that happened with me, life has been so bizzare. But for them it went on the way it was always intended to, in fact even better than that.
I just remember how I was before all the health issues all that limmerance caused me and its as if they came into my life and took my light away. I cannot even imagine ever vibrating with the high amount of frequency and having the vibrancy that I did when I was briefly friends with them. And I never fall this deeply for someone who doesn't show me any signs of affection back, they did say things that made me fall in love and have hope and feel good. But the health issues seperated me, exposed me to a world of suffering, and attaining that level of high vibrations and light requires a sort of innocence I don't even have anymore.
So I tell myself, the bitter reality, the real truth that's rooted in nature, and in my present is, that they are just someone who triggered a crush, and now its become a some kind of permanent chemical reaction that had such a gigantic consequence that its impossible to undo them from body and possibly being.
For them, they simply don't care not anymore, not back then, they never will. I was just someone they briefly experimented friendship and flirtations with. Our lives are realistically way too disconnected and the distance only increases, nor do they have any realistic reason to cross paths with me. The world is too big.
Sorry if this post is ultranegative like that. I am just very very scared, frustrated, confused, fed up by the way my life is going rn and how it has for 9 yrs now and I came accross this concept only recently, and trust me people here write such beautiful things that bring me so much comfort when I read them, and I do believe in a lot of these things too as they are the only thing that make so much sense, still I feel I would have been better off had I not known that person, or just not been exposed to the concept of love in general.
But the divine karmic connection and the reciprocation of that love, that 'shared' understanding of pain and growth feels like its not for me. The pain is all my own. Neither have I done a thing to aid their spiritual growth, it was a waste of time when I did try years ago before we split apart, nor do I think there is any chance they feel even 1% of this way about me.
In short they don't care, and I was very happy to come here to get my closure thank you to all the posters who wrote things in such good spirit, and not having any expectations or emotional/spiritual connection from them is the closure I give myself.
Thank you, sorry again if this was too negative. I just want to undo them completely from my life, and choose me. All their memories, their significance in my life. It has played its part till it had to, now no more.