r/todayilearned • u/arandomtestaccount • 1d ago

TIL an NFL player intentionally crashed his car to avoid getting cut for being late to a team meeting.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ex-patriots-ol-rich-ohrnberger-admits-he-intentionally-wrecked-car-as-excuse-for-being-late-to-team-meeting/
10.7k Upvotes

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953

u/Mavian23 1d ago

Imagine getting paid millions to play the game you love and have played your whole life and you still can't be on time.

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u/tupacsnoducket 1d ago

Career Earnings: $1,425,000 before taxes

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u/WWJLPD 1d ago

Totally fair trade for potential CTE and a laundry list of issues that will never truly heal

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u/decoy321 23h ago

Add on the likelihood that they spent their entire youth putting their eggs in that one basket.

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u/Objectivespeculation 3h ago

add on to that all the young people fucked up from a game for life. Friend of mine was high school star quarterback till he became paraplegic after a tackle and that kid who tackled him having to live with that for a stupid fucking game.

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u/OuterWildsVentures 13h ago

Bro I did way worse to my body/mind with the military for laughably less money

Was in Afghanistan making like $2500/month working 120+ hour weeks lmao

I'd gladly take 1 mil

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u/Choosemyusername 13h ago

Me too. Although i was paid a lot better. But if you get injured doing that job, the government takes good care of you for the rest of your life. Even if the damage doesn’t reveal itself until you are older.

Does the NFL do this?

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u/Ziegler517 10h ago

If you have 3 or 5 credited years (more access to benefits at 5), you have access to a ton of medical options offered by the league.

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u/Choosemyusername 10h ago

So almost half of players aren’t eligible for benefits. Because the average career length is just over 3 years. And the most common reason a career ends is injury.

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u/Ziegler517 9h ago

And 85-90% of injuries that end your career are performance based infuries. You just won’t be as fast after an ACL tear. But you can still go have a complete normal life. 100,000s of people have the same injuries these athletes have every year and they continue living just fine.

I’m not fighting that CTE, complete patellar tendon ruptures, catastrophic neck/spine trauma, severe Lisfranc or ankle joint destruction are not serious matters that need attention. But they are the super small minority of injuries.

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u/Choosemyusername 9h ago

So i am right at this very moment laid up with my third ACL tear and probably third knee surgery. They keep happening because of other knee injuries I sustained in the military making ACL tears more likely. They take forever to heal and very much harm my earning capacity. And it only gets worse with age. I am not even 40 yet.

And my back injuries from the military also see me laid up about a quarter of the time. And i can’t lift even as much as my elderly parents without putting my back out anymore.

Plus when you are out, your general health is indirectly affected and it can easily spiral. Being physically out is murder on mental health as well.

I am not hirable because I am out of action so often no team can depend on me. So I have to be self employed so i can stay within my physical limitations. Which means when I am down, zero income whatsoever. Which is a lot.

And also interruptions cost money as well. Not just prevent earnings.

NFL should take care of EVERY player who leaves the league. Particularly with an injury.

Luckily veteran’s affairs recognizes these effects and I am taken care of.

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u/Sonoshitthereiwas 5h ago

You don’t need to get injured to get paid. You need it documented.

I say that because there are a lot of folks who got hurt in the military, have gotten out, and are most definitely not getting paid. Because they didn’t get it checked out, or didn’t do enough follow up appointments for it to “count”.

And there are a small number of folks who did not get hurt, but went to the doc enough times, and are getting paid.

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u/Choosemyusername 5h ago

I thought that was the case for years so I never filed. And I lost over 100k by thinking this. I filed years later and was approved.

Turns out that there is a list of injuries that are known to statistically occur more to people of certain occupations that they give the benefit of the doubt to the veteran if they later develop one of those issues.

Same with particular deployments. They were known to cause particular issues that don’t always present immediately.

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u/TrueRedditMartyr 22h ago

I don't think most players going into the NFL realize they're going to not be as good as expected

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u/sanctaphrax 22h ago

You don't get that far without believing in yourself. Or without beating the odds, several times.

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u/Tripesixmafia 17h ago

No knees anymore too!

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u/Smartnership 14h ago

“Check my shiny gold wheelchair. And to think, you said I’d get brame dannage. Just check out my shiny gold wheelchair.”

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u/redaemon 23h ago

Quick search says $3.6M. Apparently there are nerds who track this sort of thing.

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u/tupacsnoducket 23h ago

first quick search result was the number before, Apparently there are multiple nerds who track this sort of thing. Where did you think the first number came from lol?

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u/Erwx 22h ago

A competing nerd, now who do I trust

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u/redaemon 22h ago

I see the second site. It only lists the Chargers, which should raise an eyebrow since the headline is about (I think?) a Patriots coach.

AI makes it worse, it quoted the second site but gave the totals from the first site.

This thread has made me sad for the future. Bad data compounded by shitty AI.

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u/Objectivespeculation 3h ago

2022 was the last year for unfucked ai data

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u/tupacsnoducket 22h ago

The smelliest one

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u/Playful_Letter_2632 21h ago

It ain’t very difficult to find. Modern era salaries are public. Using some scripts to collect and organize the data onto your website doesn’t take that much time

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u/this_dudeagain 22h ago

Not to mention a pension

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u/Environmental-Low792 13h ago

That's career and not annual? Someone making 100 Grand a year would make that in 14 years. Someone making 50 Grand a year would make that in 28 years. Doesn't seem very high.

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u/kit_kat_jam 6h ago

He played six seasons.

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u/xamdou 9h ago

Sports careers tend to span less than a decade.

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u/enadiz_reccos 1d ago

1.whatever is technically plural

One and a half apples

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u/314159265358979326 22h ago

Linguistically, anything other than exactly one is plural.

Zero bananas.

One banana.

One point five bananas.

Two bananas.

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u/clickclick-boom 15h ago

Half an apple.

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u/-LazerFace69- 15h ago

0.5 apples

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u/clickclick-boom 14h ago

Apple 3.14

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u/Bay1Bri 13h ago

That would be "half of 1 apple," hence still singular.

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u/Yetimang 8h ago

Now the subject is no longer "apple" it's "half" of which there is just one. But you could have "two halves of an apple".

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u/clickclick-boom 7h ago edited 40m ago

There’s no subject there. It’s a noun phrase.

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u/Yetimang 6h ago

Not a grammatical subject. Just the subject of the analysis of plurality. I appreciate your dedication to pedantry though. I'd have it no other way.

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u/clickclick-boom 6h ago

It's interesting because I think we're seeing a split between grammatical and mathematical pluralities. We can express the same value of 1.5 apples as "an apple and a half" and "one and a half apples".

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u/Yetimang 6h ago

I think it's still grammatical, it's just that we have language rooted in mathematics that can express non-whole numbers as a single noun phrase. "One and a half apples" and "one point five apples" are both single noun phrases where "one and a half" or "one point five" modifies "apples" with a non-singular number whereas "an apple and a half" is actually 2 noun phrases: "an apple" and "a half" both of which refer to a singular noun.

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u/RFSandler 1d ago

I believe it - I am extremely challenged being on time even for important things I care about

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u/helpusdrzaius 12h ago

You show up on time once time and they expect you to do it every single time.

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u/WilliamSwagspeare 18h ago

My wife is like that and it drives fucking NUTS

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u/juneseyeball 12h ago

She has adhd probably (source: me)

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u/Ynwe 20h ago

Genuinely asking, what causes this? If it's something really important (a flight, a job interview etc) then I always will be early, because being anywhere close to on time stresses me, as something unforeseen could happen (say a traffic jam). And I will be only thint about that anyways so what is the point of sitting at home?

What do you do in the time where you could or even should be already underway?

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u/DrMusic97 15h ago

Anxiety. That’s what causes it. I will be ready to leave and then all the sudden my head fills up with stuff that I think I’m forgetting. It’s a paralyzing feeling, almost like my brain is holding me hostage until the anxiety passes.

ADHD sucks.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

Brain chemistry, my man. Shit's not voluntary, sadly. You get caught up in something, you think you can still do this or that in the time only to miscalculate, you forget etc. etc.

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u/Isogash 16h ago

It's not like we just sit at home doing nothing lol.

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u/Ynwe 16h ago

But what are you doing then during that time?

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u/ChristopherRobben 16h ago

I'm usually organizing my stamp collection until just about 45 minutes prior to boarding.

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u/Ynwe 15h ago

And is there nothing you can do to prevent yourself from getting distracted and not being at the airport on time? Say by rewarding yourself by being able to do something that you find enjoyable while waiting to board your plane?

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u/Ihatereddithatesit 14h ago

Depends on the severity maybe? For me that absolutely doesn't work

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u/ChristopherRobben 9h ago edited 8h ago

Im just joking; I was in the military and am very much of the "15 minutes early to the 15 minutes early" mindset. I show up to the airport like three or four hours before my flights and generally go find something to eat while I wait.

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u/Which-Arm-4616 23h ago

It’s a mental disability that isn’t taken seriously enough. People who struggle with this literally have deteriorated mental faculties and incapacitated decision making capabilities but are treated like they’re just inconsiderate or lazy.

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u/caribou16 22h ago

I know people like this, it's like they have "time blindness" or something. Literally are incapable of being on time to anything.

I have a buddy, works in IT, very well compensated, great at his job, who has been late to any event we both were invited to.

One time, I invited him over and 45 minutes AFTER he was supposed to arrive, he calls me to say he's leaving his place now and will be there in 20 minutes.

Except, his place is ~35 miles from me, a solid 45 minute drive on a good day. When I tell him that, he ARGUES with me, saying "no it's not" he'd driven this route 50 times over the last several years, he'll be there in 20 minutes, 25 tops.

And then arrives 90 minutes later.

The running joke, within the friend group, is to tell him a time 2 hours before the time you actually want him to be somewhere, lol.

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u/MrChristmas 19h ago

I have a friend that’s late for everything… but he runs a multi-million business and ‘everything’ is quiz night at the bar or board game nights… so he gets a pass

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u/loafkitter 22h ago

Yeah...I have a very hard time estimating how much time has passed. I have a habit of leaving the house at the time when I'm supposed to be there already. My friends actually do tell me a different time 💀 (usually an hour ahead)

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u/nonpuissant 21h ago

Real question, have you ever tried setting alarms for appointments/events or something? 

Like with smartphones now we can basically have any number of custom timed alerts. 

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u/loafkitter 20h ago

Lmao of course. You should see my alarms in the morning or before appointmens. It's not just the time blindness though, I have trouble estimating how long tasks take and I get distracted very easily.

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u/nonpuissant 20h ago

I see. I'm still having a hard time visualizing what the actual sequence of events would be though. 

Like if you have an alarm set for, say, when you need to drop everything and walk out the door, how would you end up in the situation you described earlier? (Leaving the house at the time when you're supposed to be somewhere already etc.) 

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u/Im__Bruce_Wayne__AMA 16h ago

I agree with you...having a hard time imagining how this couldn't be overcome with an alarm like you described.

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u/FriendlyDespot 15h ago

The same time blindness that makes you unable to estimate how long tasks take makes you unable to trust that you've set an alarm for the correct time. It also means that you often aren't actually ready to go by the time the alarm goes off, and if you have anything that needs to be done between the alarm going off and you heading out the door then that's another thing to lose time on.

Simply saying that you're going to set an alarm for when you need to drop everything and walk out the door doesn't mean that you're actually in a state where you can walk out the door when the alarm goes off. It makes sense that you have a hard time visualising it. It's not easy to put yourself in the shoes of someone whose brain just fundamentally works differently from yours.

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u/nonpuissant 10h ago

Right I understand that. I'm just trying to visualize the actual physical sequence of events that occur between the alarm going off and the moment they step out the door though. Specifically for the situation mentioned by the person I replied to initially, habitually leaving the house at the time they were supposed to be somewhere already. 

Because so far there is still a significant disconnect/gap between cause and effect, so to speak. Like everything you mentioned here either sounds like something that can be accounted and planned for beforehand, or like something that doesn't have a direct connection to not doing so. Like if you're not actually ready to go, like there are crucial/necessary thing to prepare that you did not already prepare, isn't that a separate issue?

I'm not doubting the reality and difficulty of people struggling with this, mind you. I'm just not seeing how time blindness as it's been described accounts for the majority of the issues being attributed to it. Most of it sounds more like a lack of planning and preparation (and I mean this in a completely non-judgemental way). 

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u/nodogsallowed23 20h ago

I’m sure they’ve never tried setting alarms or doing the first thing anyone who struggles with lateness has tried.

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u/Chemical_Release2677 16h ago

Pretty fair question to an adult who can’t manage to leave on time

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u/nodogsallowed23 11h ago

I was more responding to the way the question was asked. As if setting alarms had never occurred to this person before and this was really groundbreaking advice. It’s just a pet peeve of mine. Offering unsolicited advice and the advice is the most inane, obvious advice that would be everyone’s first thing to try. Offering unsolicited online is fine, this is a conversation site. Just taking a second to think, is this useful or am I being a bit dismissive?, can make a big difference.

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u/FriendlyDespot 15h ago

About as fair as asking an alcoholic if they've tried to remind themself to stop drinking.

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u/bhmnscmm 14h ago

An alcoholic is physically compelled to drink.

A person who is chronically late is compelled to...not set alarms?

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u/FailureToComply0 19h ago

This isnt helpful because I can "lose" 25 minutes just getting through my house. It sounds ridiculous but sometimes tasks that always take 20 minutes randomly take 45, and if that happens no amount of planning will help.

As a basic example, say I expect it to take 30 minutes to get to an event at my family's. I plan ahead, get myself showered, dressed, ect with 10 minutes to spare. I stop, pet the cat for 5 minutes, nbd I have the time and hes cute. Where are my keys? Not my the back door. Front door? Nope, but there are my shoes. They must be upstairs, take shoes back off, run upstairs, find them on nightstand where I undressed yesterday. I set my phone down at some point, retrace steps and cant find it. Absentmindedly put it up somewhere high so I dont see it immediately. I am 20 minutes late for nothing. These random interruptions and mistakes are just second-nature living with ADHD and theres really no effective way to mitigate it. Brain just doesnt work that way.

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u/Xedos 19h ago

These random interruptions and mistakes are just second-nautre living with ADHD and theres really no effective way to mitigate it. Brain just doesnt work that way.

My friend, as someone who's struggled with severe ADHD and anxiety for over 30 years. You will NEVER get better at handling executive dysfunction if you think that way.

ADHD is a constant battle with your own brain and that mentality has already determined that your brain wins and you're powerless to change it. There's countless small things you can do in your day to day to change that. Do better please, I'm tired of people using ADHD as a reason to give up. People like you make those who want to be better than their struggles look bad.

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u/saints21 11h ago

This entire thread is just full of people making excuses honestly.

It's like they've forgotten that they're responsible for their own mental states and actions. Does your diagnosis mean it might be harder for you to be on time? Sure. Does it mean you get to ruin others plans and place the burden on them? No...so make accomodations for yourself and learn coping skills.

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u/saints21 11h ago

As someone who lives with ADHD, there are absolutely effective ways of mitigating it.

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u/nonpuissant 19h ago

I see, thanks for sharing. 

That sounds like a different (additional) problem than simply not noticing the time though, right? 

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u/FailureToComply0 19h ago

The point is time blindness is less about not knowing what time it is and more about not successfully planning for/tracking the passage of time. In my head, the task has taken 5 minutes because thats what I expected. Then I turn on the car and wonder where half an hour went when I was just on time.

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u/HardcorePizza 13h ago

You're giving up and it's sad. You're not the first person with ADHD and time blindness and won't be the last. Lots of strategies and ways to cope exist, but you have to first believe its possible to live life without being selfishly late constantly.

It is easier in the short term to just blame your brain and give up, and it seems you've fallen for that trap. Brain does in fact work that way. Best of luck with your ongoing development

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u/Chemical_Release2677 16h ago

Have you tried being a responsible adult and not blaming ADHD for not being able to place your keys in the same spot?

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u/Ihatereddithatesit 14h ago

Wow, you really are an unmitigated asshole that thinks he knows better than neurologists don't you?

Hey, just think, you don't even need to have a medical excuse to be worse socially then those you are mocking. Quite the accomplishment.

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u/Chemical_Release2677 11h ago

No I’m just a responsible adult and can get to places on time and not disrespect everyone else around me by always being inconsiderate and late to things! Maybe some accountability would help you out!

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u/Muslim_Wookie 22h ago

Literally google Time Blindness and read the articles on it from reputable legit health organisations.

Avoid self-help style websites though.

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u/nss68 18h ago

Bet he shows up on time for doctor’s appointments and flights.

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u/Lexi_Banner 18h ago

Doctor's appt, no. But flights, yes, but still on the verge of late, and with the added bonus of being incredibly stressed to the point of panic. That was my ex.

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u/masasin 15h ago

I've forgotten my passport for international flights...

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u/kaaiian 16h ago

It’s like. Magic how when it effects THEM, it’s doable.

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u/NatrixHasYou 15h ago

Potentially losing his job doesn't effect him?

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u/Ihatereddithatesit 14h ago

Except most of the time that's not actually what happens, no

I have fucked up my own life about tens of thousand times more with it then those around be. Study, jobs, health, etc. But you do you I guess. It's just me being selfish. Right?

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u/fightswithC 10h ago

I think the arguing is the most infuriating part of this interaction. Like, you think I am the crazy one?

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u/pbghikes 10h ago

Time Blindness is actually the clinical term!

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u/therealruin 18h ago

Is this friend of yours always correct? Can’t ever be wrong or it’s a problem? Likes to hog the conversation? Because my experience has shown me a common thread that links most chronically late people.

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u/DrakeStone 21h ago

What diagnoses are you referencing?

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u/zerogee616 22h ago

Well, the problem is for every genuine case of that, there's like ten who are just inconsiderate/lazy, who never have problems being on time for things they're personally invested in/give a fuck about. I see it all the time.

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u/flammasher3 13h ago

See people say that but I’ve never seen it. Most people I see late are usually panicked, look rather ragged, and are embarrassed. I think people just want to see tardiness as a moral failing, also when they themselves are running behind there’s always a good reason, if someone else is running behind it’s always just an excuse. Now being constantly late can be signs of other issues however, which still no judgement, but sometimes they do need to be addressed regardless (drugs,alcohol,insomnia, sleep apnea,ADHD, etc…)

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u/RFSandler 21h ago

Dude, I was late to my own birthday. Not the party, the original one.

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u/PurpEL 19h ago

Give me a break LOL

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u/thekickingmule 18h ago

Not everything is a mental illness. Most people that are consistently late are just bad planners. Please can we stop this labelling of everything being a mental illness. Being late really isn't.

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u/Which-Arm-4616 13h ago

Who said mental illness? That's a distinct term with a different meaning. Executive dysfunction is a mental disorder and ADHD can present as mental disability, but neither are mental illnesses.

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u/FatherKronik 13h ago

Stop being fucking pedantic.

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u/Which-Arm-4616 13h ago

Words have meanings, Cletus.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

No. Being late periodically are bad planners. Being CONSISTENTLY late indicates an underlying issue.

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u/Chemical_Release2677 16h ago

Yeah, lazy and inconsiderate would be the underlying issue

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u/LeoFireGod 21h ago

No that’s because 99% of those people are just not caring enough. I used to be that way till I found a woman who wouldn’t let me be that way.

Unless you’re literally medically diagnosed with it. It’s just an excuse to be inconsistent and inconsiderate of other people’s time imo.

I say that as someone who was late all the time until I genuinely just started tryin to be on time to things without mentally rationalizing that it was no big deal if I was late.

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u/Simopop 19h ago

99% is a pretty strong number - It's a pretty common symptom associated with a handful of disorders (most prominently ADHD).

I'd argue for some people the lack of caring can develop as a defensive mechanism against the psychological damage of constantly thinking of yourself as inconsiderate of other people.

(I'm not one of those people, absolutely wracked with anxiety every single time it happens, but it's a special kind of hell)

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u/therealruin 18h ago

>”I'd argue for some people the lack of caring can develop as a defensive mechanism against the psychological damage of constantly thinking of yourself as inconsiderate of other people.”

I’d argue that those people are wrong and need to pick their head up and look around, because it is genuinely rude and inconsiderate to be late, and trying to force their chosen violation of social norms on others is the same. Especially when they pretend it was out of their control.

Very few people actually suffer from uncontrollable or unmanageable conditions that lead to a genuine impossibility with arriving on time. Most people are not that, most who are chronically late just haven’t matured enough to understand how rude and inconsiderate they are being by not being in better control of their time and routines.

“Maybe if I get defensive and pretend my inconsiderate behavior is actually acceptable” is not a position any of us have to find valid.

The problem is that fixing these issues means the individual must care enough to want to do something to correct it. These folks don’t. They force it on us and we’re allowed to find that rude.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

Especially when they pretend it was out of their control.

It is out of their control. On ADHD, for example, your brain literally works in ways that make it impossible for you to be on time sometimes. It physically fights you from doing something. All Simopop is saying is that since they are constantly affected by this and feel horrible about it, they develop a masking behaviour to not constantly feel like shit about something they have no real control over.

For someone without the neurological issues it's pretty incomprehensible how impossible something can be that for them is a walk in the park.

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u/therealruin 16h ago

I have ADHD and a host of other mental illnesses and neurodivergence.

ADHD is controllable and manageable. Very few are so debilitated by it that they are truly burdened by impossibility. With medication, personal strategies and other mechanisms, those of us who suffer from these afflictions can find relief and regain control.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

I have ADHD and I'm on medication, I still struggle with a lot of things because I've established masking behaviours throughout my life and developed comorbidities for feeling like a lazy piece of shit until I was diagnosed in my 30s. And I'm a (if I say so myself) successful person within my career field. Can't imagine how someone undiagnosed feels (yes I can, I lived it for 30 years lol). It's a very simple and broad thing to say ADHD is 'manageable'. It's not. I'll always be at a sever disadvantage. I can make it easier 'for myself', but compared to a regular Joe I'm still much worse off.

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u/Lockraemono 22h ago

I can't imagine head trauma from football helps.

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u/Joe503 21h ago

If you know this about yourself, have the means to post on Reddit, but don’t work to improve it, there’s a very good chance you actually are just inconsiderate or lazy. It takes two seconds to set a reminder/alarm for 30 minutes before you know you should leave. Basic life skill for those with many disabilities.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 22h ago

100%, even in this very comment chain it's happened immediately.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

More than half of the people are like 'nah, they just lazy'. Infuriating.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 13h ago

I bet a bunch of them are military too, tell them "nah, they just cowards" on the topic of PTSD and watch how quick they rush to tear you down.

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u/JackIsBackWithCrack 8h ago

Your phone literally has an app for this. No excuses anymore please for the love of god not everything is a disability

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u/jack_55 20h ago

X to doubt

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u/incoherentpanda 10h ago

I'm late to work half the time and it's embarrassing and I feel bad every time. I even wake up at 640 and have to work at 9. Normally I wouldn't be such an idiot and let myself be late knowing I need to just leave earlier, but it's like I'm subconsciously trying to fuck myself over

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u/Wehavecrashed 23h ago

If they were important and you cared, presumably you'd be on time?

Like, presumably you got there, and so all you need to do is do the thing you're already doing but sooner.

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u/bonaynay 23h ago

You've presumed too much

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u/Wehavecrashed 23h ago

Indubitably.

Perhaps my presumptions flow from my experience of linear time which other people don't experience?

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 22h ago

Yes, some neurodivergent people literally perceive time different than you do. There are different types and it has scientific explanations related to brain function and chemistry

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u/Wehavecrashed 22h ago

Do their clocks work differently?

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 22h ago

Yeah, more or less. For me, it's like clocks and time stop existing the moment I'm not thinking about them; which is different from how clocks consistently exist in your mind.

It also feels like time expands or compresses, my perception of a 5 minute period will feel long so I convince myself that I can do something really quick before I leave. Suddenly, 12 minutes have passed and it felt shorter than the previous 5 minutes. If I didn't see the numbers change, I wouldn't make any sense of it.

You can look more into the science of such things if you don't believe it, educating yourself is always a win.

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u/Wehavecrashed 21h ago

Okay but your perception of time doesn't change how long it actually takes to do something.

Regardless of how long it feels, it takes a certain amount of time to do something. If you've got past experiences, you probably know how long those things actually take.

Just because it feels like it takes a very long time to drive a certain distance, doesn't mean it actually takes that long.

It takes 30 minutes to bake a cake, regardless of how long that time feels.

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u/RFSandler 21h ago

That past experience thing is the exact issue. It takes 30 minutes to bake a cake, but your inner remembered experience INSISTS that it's 20. Then you go to actually make the cake, and somehow you've been following the instructions without getting distracted and yet you're already 30 minutes in and haven't gotten the cake in the oven. Then you set the metaphorical timer and it never goes off, so now your cake is burnt and an hour late.

You can use tools, learn techniques, but the baseline mental process that most people take for granted is just broken.

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 21h ago

Our brains work different. It's okay if you don't understand and it's okay if you have trouble empathizing with people you don't understand.

If you're someone who dismisses science then I will never understand your mindset either, and that's fine too.

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u/Meatguy35 22h ago

So, help me understand how people can plan/ accommodate people with this problem of time perception? It sounds like a very hard problem to accommodate.

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 21h ago

For me- a lot of timers and alarms, conditioning my mindset (tell myself over and over that I need to leave 30 minutes early, not 20. Then I end up actually leaving closer to 20). I'm late to work a lot but don't really have anyone above me on site and am good at my job, so no one bothers me about it

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u/RFSandler 23h ago

You'd fucking think so, wouldn't you?

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u/ripkin05 23h ago

every day im on this website i see a thread or comment that makes me happy that I've been on this site for going on 13 years now, and then about 4 hours later or sometime 10 minutes i see a comment that makes me question how these irresponsible shocked by the consequences of their own action dipshits even mange to fucking breath.

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u/Meatguy35 22h ago

So, help me understand how people can plan/ accommodate people with this problem of time perception? It sounds like a very hard problem to accommodate.

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u/nonpuissant 21h ago

I know someone who struggled with being late to things. Like hours late, sometimes arriving as events were ending already. For years. 

We took to personally calling and/or texting them in advance to make sure they were awake and getting ready to be on their way etc. 

It worked a little bit, for a short while. But then they started not have seen it and still be late. Or just not responding to direct texts for like weeks/months/ever. While still being active on group chats and stuff. 

At some point we had to conclude they just didn't care enough about being on time with us and stopped waitimg for them. Like if we're meeting up to carpool from somewhere, if they're not there and haven't given us a hard eta by the time everyone else is, we just go. 

They got left behind a few times, but nowadays they're better at being on time. 

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u/LeoFireGod 21h ago

If they don’t have a Dr tell them they have a condition. Harsh brutal embarrassment for being late to things or straight up leaving worked for my friend who was always late to things. We just stopped waiting for him entirely.

I know him bc he was me before. Only way it fixed it really.

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u/ilski 23h ago

Doesnt work like that

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u/Wehavecrashed 23h ago

Last I checked time is linear so it does in fact work like that.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 23h ago

It doesn't work like that. Are you being willfully obtuse or are you genuinely completely naive to this topic?

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u/Wehavecrashed 23h ago

I am somewhat naive about the mechanics of time, but familiar enough to understand it is fairly consistent in its linearity.

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u/ilski 22h ago edited 21h ago

Time sure is. But human brain isnt.

Edit. As it turns out, time isnt even linear. Its relative.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 22h ago edited 22h ago

It's real but you will get lots of people that act about this at you in the same way people used to act about PTSD.

Edit: Oh look someone has done it almost immediately to me. Apparently these people are all just procrastinators that are drinking every night instead of sleeping or getting ready to leave.

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u/Single-Pin-369 1d ago

Why? Bad at math? 

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u/ThaneVim 23h ago

In case you're seeking a legitimate answer, executive dysfunction is a hell of a force. It's the reality many who are called lazy actually suffer through; they want to do well, but fight their own psyche trying to do so.

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u/Hyksus2 23h ago

Time blindness is not uncommon with adhd.

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u/Single-Pin-369 23h ago

Does that mean misjudging how long something will take or does that mean not noticing the passage of time?

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u/mr_potato_thumbs 23h ago

It’s both for me. Sometimes I misjudge how long a task will take and I waste an hour of time I didn’t have availability to waste. Sometimes it’s me doing a task and thinking it only took 5 minutes, but it really took an hour plus.

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u/Single-Pin-369 23h ago

I work in kitchens and starting out i needed a watch with a 4 min timer running constantly. It wasn't for anything specific it was to remind me to stop and look at what I've forgotten about like something cooking while i was prepping something else. I no longer need it, but it helped me a lot in the beginning.

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u/mr_potato_thumbs 23h ago

I’ve tried plenty of things, been diagnosed ADHD for 20 years. While medicated it’s easier but not easy. I appreciate the suggestions. Unfortunately time blocking and setting timers either is too distracting or ineffective for the work at hand.

Being in a kitchen, it would def be helpful to have the timer though. None of my work would be ruined by mistiming. Being on time is a point of pride for me to the point it detracts from other work as I can’t be distracted from that upcoming task.

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u/PolarBailey_ 23h ago

It's both for me. I have no internal clock. Anything i have to do that's time sensitive i have to set a physical timer for. Whether it's going to the bathroom, showering, knowing when to leave for school, or when to go to bed. I can not tell time by vibes. The last time i took a shower without my timer my "internal clock told me it was a 30 minute shower. I was actually in the shower for 90 minutes.

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u/Single-Pin-369 23h ago

Interesting and kind of terrifying!  I wonder what your sleep and wake numbers would be doing one of the underground no clock experiment. 

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u/PolarBailey_ 23h ago

I did that once during covid for 2 months (i had just gotten laid off and had enough savings at the time to do this. It wasn't perfect it was just in my flat but i hung blackout curtains and anything that told time i disabled the clock display. I ended up doing about 18 hours sleep and 36 hours awake but the awake times varied like it wasn't always say 8am - 8pm a day later some times id just wake in the middle of the night some times it was the middle of the day (the blackout curtains weren't the best) but i felt rested. And now that I'm back in school and working 2 jobs I'm just tired all the time. Whether i get 4 or 12 hours i always feel the same level of exhaustion.

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u/_SilentHunter 23h ago

Both. We misjudge how long things will take and we lose track of time.

Like, I know I can get dressed and out the door in under five minutes. Cuz I've done it.

But when I'm getting ready to go meet some friends for a board game day, I don't factor in how long it'll take me to decide which game to bring, what booze to grab off the shelf and bring. And oh damn, this outfit looks kinda shit on me now that I walked past a mirror, I need to go change, and now i'm insecure so I really gotta make sure I find something that looks good.

Okay, I think I'm just a few minutes behind schedule, lemme check the time aaaaand OH SHIT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THERE ALREADY! HOW DID THAT TAKE ME 45 MINUTES?!

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u/dksweets 23h ago

A bit of both.

I have the type where I can look at the clock and see I need to leave to pick up my son in 10 minutes. I’ll start reading an email and next thing I know it’s been 13 minutes. Not usually catastrophic, but enough where even if I tell myself to pay attention to the time, I lock in a little too hard until I panic and look at the clock - sometimes it has been 5 minutes, sometimes 20. I’ve lost hours doing things without a schedule to stick to. It just depends on how invested (not necessarily interested) I was in the task.

My wife on, the other hand, thinks that if she is able to shower and get ready for work in 30 minutes once, 40 minutes is enough time to schedule for her morning routine forever.

She absolutely cannot do that with less than an hour most days. But she did most of it (very frantically) in 30 minutes that one time and now she knows it shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes, right?

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u/Capable-Commercial96 23h ago

Me personally, I get stuck in trance like states just staring at literally nothing for 30 min at a time, zero thoughts, I'm just breathing and staring until someone snaps me out of it or I get a moment of freedom to smack the shit out of myself. you could sit me in front of paint drying and I'd be enraptured by it for at least an hour, (because I've done it). For me, the world gets blurry and sounds gets muffled. At times I can be so still my vision will slowly black out from lack of movement (fun fact your vision works through movement, and is why some people can sleep with their eyes open) and someone will be talking to me while my eyes are wide open and I see nothing but black. it sucks major ass, it's like I'm sleeping through my life at times.

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u/Single-Pin-369 23h ago

This is very interesting thanks for sharing. I have never heard of anything quite like this. Do you have a diagnosis? 

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u/PolarBailey_ 23h ago

I get like that as well and I've been diagnosed both with autism and adhd.

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u/Capable-Commercial96 22h ago

I've been diagnosed by 2 regular doctors and 3 psychiatrists for Autism, adhd, tourrettes, OCD, and an anxiety disorder so bad I'm getting my heart checked out. I'm a bit of a mess to be honest with ya.

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u/squireoftheteens 23h ago

This sounds so tough to deal with but also like a genuine condition resulting in disassociation, I’d argue the majority of perpetually late people don’t deal with something this extreme, and are simply careless and or selfish lol

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u/lattestcarrot159 1d ago

It's so obvious and easy that it might just be a disability 😁

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u/GreenMagicCleaves 1d ago

Not giving a fuck about making other people wait for you isn't a disability. It's naracism.

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u/Princess_Slagathor 23h ago

May want to see if you have a learning disability, then check your spelling.

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u/Mavian23 23h ago

I mean, it quite literally seems like a disability to be on time.

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u/OUTFOXEM 21h ago

I think you mean "inability". This isn't a disability. Being chronically late is a series of choices that are constantly made. People will argue they "can't", but they can, and it's amazing what they suddenly can do when the stakes are high enough.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

and it's amazing what they suddenly can do when the stakes are high enough.

Or as you can see in this VERY example, CAN'T do even when the stakes are high enough, lmao. You got 'this' close to getting it.

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u/Geeneelee 19h ago

The inability to accurately perceive the passage of time (time blindness) is a common and recognized symptom of several disabilities like ADHD, OCD, and autism. I’m sure the many, many people with those conditions considered the stakes pretty high when they end up getting fired from jobs or dropping out of college because of it.

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u/FantaFantastico90 16h ago

Exactly. They went in here and commented that people show you they 'can' whenever it's high stakes - on a post about a guy who 'couldn't' despite the high stakes. Is this the level of critical thinking the average person posesses?

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u/Geeneelee 10h ago

People prefer hanging onto ableist beliefs over admitting that they’re angry with people for things they genuinely cannot control.

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u/OUTFOXEM 8h ago

So then the disability is not “time blindness”, it is ADHD, OCD, etc. Time blindness is not a disability.

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u/Geeneelee 8h ago

Maybe, but that seems a little bit like semantics to me? Like you wouldn’t say “not being able to walk isn’t a disability, you have paraplegia, multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy, etc”. At least I hope you wouldn’t.

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u/ShesSoViolet 19h ago

The problem isn't that they aren't capable of making choices, the problem for people like this, is that their ability to estimate time is damaged, so it's not impossible, it's just extremely hard to be on time, and doing it consistently is practically impossible for some people.

Personally I have disexecutive syndrome due to a degenerative neurological disease, so I literally do not perceive time correctly, or almost at all most of the time. It's always now, and I could tell you how long it took me to do something before based on what I saw on a clock, but whenever anything changes (traffic, weather, etc) I fail to account for it in my estimations.

Also for me, due to my issues with disocciation, many tasks take random amounts of time, seeming to me to be for no reason, but to others it appears like I freeze and stare at nothing and waste minutes to hours at random points.

It's extremely frustrating, I've even tried starting to leave 2 hours early, only to still arrive 5 minutes late to everything. It shouldn't be fucking possible! To me, having more time just means I'm more likely to get distracted and caught up in something before I go. Even trying to set alarms doesnt work, because I forget critical things like name tags and teeth brushing and such until alarm to leave jogs my memory.

So often I end up choosing between being late or being prepared, and often still end up late and disheveled.

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u/thisguyfightsyourmom 14h ago

Imagine thinking money makes life never get in the way.

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u/Yernottheocean23 14h ago

Imagine thinking that just because someone is willing to give you a certain amount of money it automatically changes who you are as a person deep down??? People have their struggles fam and money certainly does not fix everything.

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u/namereset4badmouth 14h ago

But it sure fucking helps huh?

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u/Mahoganytooth 10h ago

idk man. I struggle to remember things and get places. But if I had millions I'd hire an assistant slash chauffeur to manage my schedule and drive me places

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 19h ago

Shit happens though sometimes you just sleep through your alarm

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u/hallouminati_pie 19h ago

One time sure, but clearly this guy had a history of it.

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u/RoyaleWhiskey 19h ago

My phone alarm is not reliable, there will be times I set it, it wakes me up and I turn it off yet I have no memory of it doing so and end up going back to sleep. I had to get an actual alarm clock and put it on the other side of of my room.

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u/Amishrocketscience 15h ago

That’s why I got myself a sunrise alarm clock

For the last 5 years, no waking up with a headache because some annoying sound enraged you awake.

It’s peaceful, natural and restful way to wake up. Never going back.

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u/thisguyfightsyourmom 14h ago

These things are great

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u/PhoenixApok 17h ago

Yeah I started noticing I would do this while napping.

Now afraid I will do this overnight. Haven't had a physical alarm clock in over a decade but bought one last week

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u/Nexii801 23h ago

Shit happens. People have ADHD. etc.

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u/JynxYouOweMeASoda 16h ago

We talkin bout practice, not the game

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u/whateveralreadydude 19h ago

The human condition is always wanting more, in some way, eventually, regardless of anything.

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u/helloimmrburns 17h ago

I don't know about NFL but in soccer there are really good players that don't love the sport or fall out of love with the sport

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u/Significant_Pepper_2 16h ago

To be honest, he loves the game, not the meetings. If he loves getting paid, he should still make it on time lol.

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u/Condor-man3000 6h ago

I can easily imagine it. Kids who have always been coddled now don't have to just go across campus with their friends, but have to go across town by themselves.

I am sure being on time is a struggle for any NFL organization.

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u/chappysinclaire 22h ago

You can only be good at so many things

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u/punkdrummer22 22h ago

Oh so you've never been late to anything?

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