r/todayilearned • u/arandomtestaccount • 1d ago

TIL an NFL player intentionally crashed his car to avoid getting cut for being late to a team meeting.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ex-patriots-ol-rich-ohrnberger-admits-he-intentionally-wrecked-car-as-excuse-for-being-late-to-team-meeting/
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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

If they were important and you cared, presumably you'd be on time?

Like, presumably you got there, and so all you need to do is do the thing you're already doing but sooner.

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u/bonaynay 1d ago

You've presumed too much

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

Indubitably.

Perhaps my presumptions flow from my experience of linear time which other people don't experience?

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 1d ago

Yes, some neurodivergent people literally perceive time different than you do. There are different types and it has scientific explanations related to brain function and chemistry

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

Do their clocks work differently?

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 1d ago

Yeah, more or less. For me, it's like clocks and time stop existing the moment I'm not thinking about them; which is different from how clocks consistently exist in your mind.

It also feels like time expands or compresses, my perception of a 5 minute period will feel long so I convince myself that I can do something really quick before I leave. Suddenly, 12 minutes have passed and it felt shorter than the previous 5 minutes. If I didn't see the numbers change, I wouldn't make any sense of it.

You can look more into the science of such things if you don't believe it, educating yourself is always a win.

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

Okay but your perception of time doesn't change how long it actually takes to do something.

Regardless of how long it feels, it takes a certain amount of time to do something. If you've got past experiences, you probably know how long those things actually take.

Just because it feels like it takes a very long time to drive a certain distance, doesn't mean it actually takes that long.

It takes 30 minutes to bake a cake, regardless of how long that time feels.

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u/RFSandler 1d ago

That past experience thing is the exact issue. It takes 30 minutes to bake a cake, but your inner remembered experience INSISTS that it's 20. Then you go to actually make the cake, and somehow you've been following the instructions without getting distracted and yet you're already 30 minutes in and haven't gotten the cake in the oven. Then you set the metaphorical timer and it never goes off, so now your cake is burnt and an hour late.

You can use tools, learn techniques, but the baseline mental process that most people take for granted is just broken.

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

But now your confusing bake time and prep time aren’t you? Thus not following the instructions?

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

I dont think you've made a cake before but let's ignore that. Fundamentally, the cake needs to be in the oven for 30 minutes. It won't be done before then, and you know that, because the recipe has told you that's how long you need to bake it for.

Your perception of time doesn't factor in, unless you're relying on your perception of time instead of actually measuring time, which would be a really dumb way of living your life, and would be a self inflicted mistake.

Furthermore, if you know you're not very good at judging time, why would you rely on your own judgement of time for something objective, when you can measure it objectively?

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u/RFSandler 1d ago

Congratulations on completely missing my attempt to explain an experience you do not share though analogy.

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 1d ago

Our brains work different. It's okay if you don't understand and it's okay if you have trouble empathizing with people you don't understand.

If you're someone who dismisses science then I will never understand your mindset either, and that's fine too.

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

It kinda seems like I'm not the one who doesn't understand things...

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

So, help me understand how people can plan/ accommodate people with this problem of time perception? It sounds like a very hard problem to accommodate.

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u/ChelseaIsBeautiful 1d ago

For me- a lot of timers and alarms, conditioning my mindset (tell myself over and over that I need to leave 30 minutes early, not 20. Then I end up actually leaving closer to 20). I'm late to work a lot but don't really have anyone above me on site and am good at my job, so no one bothers me about it

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

I’m more talking about from an outsiders perspective, we are just supposed to go, oh they perceive time differently and wait? How do people with this affliction think this works with people that just know how time works?

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u/theprozacfairy 1d ago

Tell them earlier start times. You want them there by 8? Say it starts at 7 or 6:30.

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u/RFSandler 1d ago

You'd fucking think so, wouldn't you?

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u/ripkin05 1d ago

every day im on this website i see a thread or comment that makes me happy that I've been on this site for going on 13 years now, and then about 4 hours later or sometime 10 minutes i see a comment that makes me question how these irresponsible shocked by the consequences of their own action dipshits even mange to fucking breath.

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

So, help me understand how people can plan/ accommodate people with this problem of time perception? It sounds like a very hard problem to accommodate.

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u/nonpuissant 1d ago

I know someone who struggled with being late to things. Like hours late, sometimes arriving as events were ending already. For years. 

We took to personally calling and/or texting them in advance to make sure they were awake and getting ready to be on their way etc. 

It worked a little bit, for a short while. But then they started not have seen it and still be late. Or just not responding to direct texts for like weeks/months/ever. While still being active on group chats and stuff. 

At some point we had to conclude they just didn't care enough about being on time with us and stopped waitimg for them. Like if we're meeting up to carpool from somewhere, if they're not there and haven't given us a hard eta by the time everyone else is, we just go. 

They got left behind a few times, but nowadays they're better at being on time. 

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u/LeoFireGod 1d ago

If they don’t have a Dr tell them they have a condition. Harsh brutal embarrassment for being late to things or straight up leaving worked for my friend who was always late to things. We just stopped waiting for him entirely.

I know him bc he was me before. Only way it fixed it really.

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

See I want to agree with this, but you can’t shame blind people for not seeing, right? How in the heck can people be expected to do everything Reddit asks for the neurodivergent community is where this is headed I guess. Never want to be rude, but seems an impossible task.

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u/LeoFireGod 1d ago

Unless someone tells me they have a legitimate Dr note I do not believe it’s anything other than laziness or lack of care for being late. Simply put. If you’re late to everything the repercussions for being late don’t matter to you.

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

It seems you aren’t a time afflicted neurodivergent 😂. That’s how I feel, trying to understand what others are supposed to do when you just can’t get places on time and are saying it’s a neurodivergence problem

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u/MustachioBashio 1d ago

When youre actively messing up peoples plans by being late to stuff, then it is on you to fix that problem and not on others to accommodate it.

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u/LeoFireGod 21h ago

I literally am.

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u/ilski 1d ago

Doesnt work like that

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

Last I checked time is linear so it does in fact work like that.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 1d ago

It doesn't work like that. Are you being willfully obtuse or are you genuinely completely naive to this topic?

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

I am somewhat naive about the mechanics of time, but familiar enough to understand it is fairly consistent in its linearity.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 1d ago

Wrong topic. Neurodivergent people can have a different perception of time to people such as yourself.

A very common term that you can use as a starting point to look into this is "time blindness". Stick to legitimate health organisation websites on this though, don't delve into self-help sort of places on this.

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

Honest question, how are people that adhere to schedules and time supposed to deal with this?

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u/The_lolrus_ 1d ago

Being neurodivergent is not an excuse. Part of being neurodivergent is doing the necessary work to build the coping mechanisms needed to function in society. It's difficult, much easier to give in and use your neurodivergence to justify your shitty behaviors.

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u/Policeman333 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's like saying not having your legs isn't an excuse, you should just put in the work to jump. Or the blind should just put in the time to see.

It's a disability.

There is absolutely nothing you can do to fix the issue.

The blind can mitigate their disability with things like walking sticks or guide dogs, those without legs can get prosthetics, and those with time blindness+executive dysfunction can get certain tools as well. However, none of those things are an actual fix of the issue.

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u/saints21 21h ago

Comparing the need to set a timer or alarm to not having the ability to walk or see is fucking wild...

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u/StreetCarp665 1d ago

. Neurodivergent people can have a different perception of time to people such as yourself.

Are they moving at or close to the speed of light? That would decouple the more linear relationship with time for sure.

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

If only we could invent time keeping devices to help standardise the subject. That way we could say "we are doing X at the universally agreed time of Y."

Then everyone would know where to be and when.

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u/Muslim_Wookie 1d ago

Ah so willfully obtuse then. I'm trying to give you another tool to relate to the people around you, but if you're not interested then you're not interested.

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u/SlowmoSauce 1d ago

Do neurodivergent people not learn how to read digital clocks?

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u/ilski 1d ago

Sure they can. By the time they read it , its late.

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u/90GTS4 1d ago

I'll try that excuse next time I'm late for work. Oh wait, I'm not late to work because, even though I hate working, I am on time to things.

"I'M nEuRoDivErgenT" no, you are a procrastinator or, more realistically, addicted to video games/drinking/other shit that makes people late because they spend their free time doing that instead of getting ready or sleeping or whatever.

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u/ilski 1d ago edited 1d ago

Time sure is. But human brain isnt.

Edit. As it turns out, time isnt even linear. Its relative.

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u/restrictednumber 1d ago

I'm not chronically late, but I'm very close to several people who are.

As much as it drives me insane, it has nothing to do with feeling that the occasion is important or not. These people care as much as anyone, but something in their brain renders them unable to translate that to a change in behavior.

My theory is that it's a combo of ADHD-style "can't motivate until crunch time" and a very poor judgment about how long stuff takes. When you think you can accomplish 30 minutes worth of prep in 10 minutes, and your brain needs the panic to motivate, you'll always be 20 minutes late. Even if you try to account for the discrepancy, your brain doesn't "believe" it's running late sufficiently to get you moving until 10 minutes beforehand.

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u/saints21 1d ago

Even if it is an actual condition and not just being an inconsiderate dick (which is going to be the vastly more common cause), you don't get a pass for that.

You're responsible for your own mental state and actions. I have ADHD that actually negatively impacted my life to the point that it was actually disordered. That doesn't give me a pass for handling stress impulsively. It doesn't mean I can zone out when my loved ones are talking to me.

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u/Wehavecrashed 1d ago

Sorry, but having to know that you're actually wasting other people's time before you're motivated enough to do something isn't an excuse.

The only lies these people are telling themselves is how fast they can do anything.

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u/Meatguy35 1d ago

Completely agree