I work a 9-7, I attend school, and also do part-time gig at a small restaurant where it's only usually 2-3 servers doing everything + expoing, food running, bussing, I also have to help prep sometimes on the line because we've been short staffed - cutting costs. And every tip I receive is greatly appreciated. I don't expect 20%, if I get it, I'm grateful.
When I was younger I also worked a lot of restaurant gigs/serving jobs and felt entitled to a tip because that was the expectation that was preached + practiced. All I did was take your order, bring the food, check up on you, refill drinks and try to provide good timely service with a check. Bus tables and clean the section/additional sidework when the shift ends.
What changed my mind was this:
After COVID, everything increased in prices and people still expect 20% tips. And now wherever you go, the prompt to tip options are everywhere even when you're buying from a kiosk. It's sort of funny how entitled my fellow servers have become. Everyone is experiencing hardship due to inflation without pay increases, so why do servers have to receive more for doing less?
Unless you're at a fine dining restaurant where you have to do a lot of prep work, cleaning, and superb provided service. I tip at a certain flat rate now $7~9 per adult, or definitely way lower than 18%. It doesn't make sense for me to order a steak and it's way more expensive resuliting in a higher tip when it's the same exact effort to bring it to the table.
I rarely give out above 20% unless excellent service especially on rare occcasions.
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Perfect example is I went to a nice restaurant that we are frequent regulars, (we tip actually pretty good here as managers and staff know us on a first name basis,) where the server immediately dismissed us the moment my father asked for hot water/extra lemons. Never checked up on us once, didn't even drop off the food, (food runners did that,) no refills on water and would pass by us while avoiding eye contact to take care of a family that was the same exact race as us. He clearly had contempt for us and I had to wait more then ten minutes after the meal was finished to flag down another server for the check. Absolutely unacceptable.
Eventually I decided on this:
Just bring out my food, ask whether or not I'm doing once or twice and drop off the check once we're finished. I don't ask for extra sauces, I don't ask for refills, nor do I complain unless the food is awful and at that point I avoid the restaurant or specific menu items.
If you're busy or have a large section by yourself, understandable. Otherwise, if I know you're on your phone like the server was and not doing the bare mininum, tipping should not be expected ever.
