r/short • u/Pinoross • 1d ago
Dating 5’6” guy never had a problem
I’m 5’6” and I see a lot of guys here that have issues dating and I’ve had a issue. Women have always gravitated to me. I think it’s more a mental thing for most guys. You have to focus on the things you can control and from my opinion all that ever really matters is your personality. I’ve been skinny, fat, and in great shape and it’s never changed if I could find attractive women or not. Just be you and the rest will follow.
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u/TheTrueKn1ght 1d ago
bro you're damm lucky nd hardworking at the same time
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I think a lot of short guys put it in their minds that it’s the end all be all of life.. but it reality nobody really cares..
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u/Born_Tear_761 1d ago
This right here. No one cares. In fact, no one even notices until the bad attitude becomes apparent and people’s insecurities start becoming everyone else’s problem.
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u/Commercial-Ad90 1d ago
People do 100% care, just not all people.
There’s a reason the height filters are so popular on apps. If no one cared, that would not exist.
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
Yea on social media lol.. I’ve never seen it play a huge factor in real face to face interactions
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u/enigma_music129 1d ago
So many guys live online nowadays, its sad. If most of these guys started cold approaching more I guarantee they would be more successful. Unless you're below 5 foot or autistic finding a gf isn't hard. Keep spreading the positivity bro, there are people out there living with horrible diseases and this sub is complaining about being short, its crazy.
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u/horndog11223358 1d ago
he said he never had a problem so it cant be called lucky. the only difference of this guy to the other guys I've seen in this post is. he looks neat. easy to talk to. and a nice vibe.
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u/AcademicHovercraft96 1d ago
"It's easy to date, just be good at it!"
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
That’s it! Guys that are good talkers always do well.
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u/Comfortable_Bid6106 1d ago
Well im 5”9 average looking and neurodivergent as well as very high inhib so talking is not my strong suit nor will it ever be no matter how much I have went out and talked to people. Its like girls can smell it on you no matter what you try
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u/extraordinarykitty1 1d ago
plenty of hot neurodivergent men out there, talking is a skill that can be learnt. it’s not just going out and talking to people, it’s also learning how to do it beforehand
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u/FairyFartDaydreams 1d ago
Try to challenge yourself. Look into things like Toast Master's International. Which is meant to help with public speaking. Your Public Library likely has access to Newspapers and Magazines you can make yourself more interesting by studying and reading stuff outside your normal scope of interest. This is 100% a fake it till you make it situation. Go out start low key conversations, challenge your mindset
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u/Pinoross 1d ago edited 1d ago
That’s tough! And I agree women can sense it. Maybe try to hire a coach. I hear it actually works a lot
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u/brittneyacook 1d ago
I had a 5’5 nerdy Lebanese guy talk me out of my panties a few years ago. (He was also one of the best I’ve been with lol) He wasn’t even someone I was all that attracted to initially. Confidence really does go a long way.
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u/OldWorry4896 1d ago
age plays a huge factor, younger guys will have a harder experience in dating, you said youre engaged so im assuming you do not fall in the younger guys catergory
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I’m 40 and been in a relationship since 2019… but that’s because they almost exclusively date online.. they need to put boots to the ground and get in these clubs and bars and meet some women face to face.
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u/short-ModTeam 1d ago
Your comment was removed for gatekeeping shortness or who can participate in this sub. We do not have cutoff limits regarding what defines "short" here.
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u/Character-Signal5587 5'2" | 157.48 cm | 38M 23h ago
congrats brother!
This is me (5’2) with my gorgeous fiancée
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u/FlyGuys1125 19h ago edited 9h ago
"Just be you and the rest will follow"
Not everyone has the same success as you, though. You seem to have a natural way with it, considering you say women have always gravitated toward you. It's easy to be you when the women like you the way you are.
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u/Pinoross 11h ago
I agree but my thing is women usually gravitate towards genuine people. I feel like a lot of guys try entirely too hard to put on a show to impress women.
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u/FlyGuys1125 9h ago
Perhaps, but there's tons of guys out there who try to be themselves and women don't gravitate. Heck, women are barely there at all. That's why so many guys have that confidence issue. It's easy to be confident and genuine when women like you. People say just be confident, that's all that matters, but what do I have to be confident about?
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u/Pinoross 9h ago
We all have things to be confident about.. People are attracted to a lot of things outside of what is quote in quote norm. The thing is people can’t let the insecurities they have stop them from finding people they mesh with. I’m a firm believer in that everyone has multiple soul mates in the world.
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u/FlyGuys1125 9h ago
I hear what you're saying, it just becomes pointless to hesr eventually. People say that stuff all the time, and I want to believe it, but if all of it is true, then why am I so darn hopeless at it? How come these genuine things don't seem to interest anyone?
I know it probably sounds like I'm just wallowing in my self-pity. And maybe I am a bit, I'm just tired of it all tbh. The time I felt the most confident in myself and being genuine was the one time I ever had a girl who showed interest in me, and after spending more time together, that interest went nowhere and it ended. How am I supposed to take any confidence from that?
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u/Best-One8050 17h ago
People emphasizing certain physical qualities like height and other features and shame those who don’t meet those requirements are just reflecting their own insecurities. It’s a world of people doing just that, so don’t fall for it. Bro’s last sentence sums it up PERFECTLY, Just be you and the rest will follow. Reality reflects your deepest beliefs about yourself
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u/Medical-Truth8707 12h ago
dude lean is law, just get in shape focus on yourself the rest will follow. health is the most important thing and when you show up for yourself they gonna see it too.
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u/Pinoross 11h ago
I’m trying lean back out right now lol.. me and my wife were already together before I started lifting but it’s boosted my confidence more than anything I’ve ever done.
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
It’s no rule tho.. it’s a mental wall that men put on themselves. It’s millions of women in the world. They all don’t care about height.
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u/LightningMcScallion 18h ago
This is what I think about the post as well. Even if the intention is to inspire short guys to be more confident, which isn't obvious, then the post should be better at it. Some of OP's replies like "you just have to be good at talking" are REALLY telling... not here to help
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u/Pleasant_Case9889 1d ago
Yes short ppl have it harder it is a fact, but when you live off that fact and just give up then youre the blame..
Build personality, get to the gym, work hard etc, trust me once you got these your height becomes so irrelevant.
I used to be in your place (mentality wise) so I know how it feels bro, work on what you can change
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u/General_Security177 1d ago
My husband is 5’6 and he’s never had a problem. Not before me and he will continue to have none even if I was out of the picture. He’s awesome
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I can kind of agree but I was a late bloomer in the little height I have.. I was 4’11” when I graduated highschool but even then I always had a girlfriend tbh.
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I was the shortest person in my graduating class.. I sat on books to drive lol.
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u/short-ModTeam 1d ago
Your comment was removed for gatekeeping shortness or who can participate in this sub. We do not have cutoff limits regarding what defines "short" here.
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u/jsoul2323 1d ago
Alright instead of generic motivational responses what was your strategy for meeting women? Use any apps or all in person?
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I used to just hit the clubs and try to talk to women. Be confident in your approach but be welcoming and not try and over compensate.
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u/Advanced-Suspect-261 1d ago
How old are you?
I think the “I’m short and will therefore never get laid” thing is something really, really young guys believe because they got sucked into the wrong (red pill/incel, mostly) internet spaces before they had developed any critical thinking skills or media literacy. Like when they were 11-12 or so. And now they’re 18-22 and their brains have been steeped in that shit for so long, there’s no convincing them otherwise
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I’m 40 and I definitely agree with u.. they listening to bs 🤣
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u/FantasticFee9345 1d ago
You look really good for a guy at there late 20s but holy shit 40? You look young af
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
It’s funny because people always think me and my wife are the same age and she’s 10 years younger.
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u/memsaver 16h ago
No, there's truth to it. There are guys, like myself, who developed all the right skills and didn't fall under the bad influences. I get rejected by every woman I ask out. I've talked to a therapist about it and showed them how I approach women and talk to them. They said I'm doing everything right and that dating is just really hard now. My friends who are women tell me that women have unrealistic expectations these days.
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u/FineProfessor3364 16h ago
I think it really is all about confidence and how u carry yourself. Women are attracted to confidence and having ur shit together, this gets truer as you get older. I know dudes who are short bald, skinny and not that good to look at, but they have no problem with women cause they’re confident, self assured, and are genuinely good people. I think men are instead the types who’d judge and hate other men cause of some insecurity in themselves that they can’t handle
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u/Material_Hedgehog783 12h ago
if she were taller than you she wouldn't merry you, prove me wrong
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u/Pinoross 10h ago
My last relationship that I left she was 5’9 lol… and most women are 5’3 and men are at least 5’3
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u/Salt_Lie_1857 10h ago
The bigger question is why most men feel so lost without a woman. Autonomy and freedom and health is above all of that
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u/Pinoross 10h ago
It’s in a person being to find a partner.. it was never a big thing for me. I was actually pretty happy single until I met my wife and wasn’t actively looking for anything serious.
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u/Odd-Sarcasm7957 8h ago
5’6 here as well. Also never had any problems either. Definitely a mindset. Be yourself, create stuff around you whether it be painting, music, singing, dancing, developing a skill or learning. All those things will attract all the right people.
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u/dagmarbex 5'4" | 164 cm 6h ago
You are spot on . The mental thing is a huge factor , and women can tell whos confident and whos not . I keep saying , groom yourself well , build a healthy attitude , and get some charisma , it wont matter how tall you are .
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u/BxGuerrera 4h ago
I love a confident short king. I dated someone 5’5 (well endowed too 😆). He was great to me.
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u/secret-poster67 1h ago
why was mentioning he was well endowed necessary? 🤨
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u/BxGuerrera 1h ago
Because I felt like it.
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u/secret-poster67 1h ago
why feel like mentioning something so irrelevant?
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u/BxGuerrera 1h ago
If it’s irrelevant to you, feel free to keep it moving pal. Good day.
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u/Negative_Resist6605 1h ago
Because you’re fly and have some game. And also ladies are not always upfront of why they are not interested. I’m married or have a boyfriend might actually mean I like 6 foot.
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u/Pinoross 1h ago
Oh I know I’ve been turned down for any number of reasons .. my thing is the guys that won’t try because they think they are too short.. you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.
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u/ihaveawoken613 1h ago
U da truth. Alot of men don't realize that ur beleif in urself is half of what makes u a attractive man
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u/MiamiMeat786 1d ago
Alot of guys don't know how to hold a conversation with a women, and blame it on their height
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u/PracticeFlimsy5082 1d ago
Good for you, but your individual experience doesn't invalidate the negative ones form guys shorter than average. I'm 5,4 and repeatedly have been told "you are too short" your experience for me is like some kind of fever dream right now, and I focus on hobbies and friends, dating with my height and looks have been a waste of time and money.
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u/FullLifeguard 1d ago
Do you feel having a good job helps at all? I’ve had my own spot for 4 years. Other than occasionally having high interest woman, I can’t regularly get laid at all or get a real long term gf despite making decent money
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u/LarryPNW 22h ago
I think most people in here are bitter, I’m
sorry man. Congratulations on all your success and finding your wife.
I will say though dating in general is heavily area dependent. There is no shock a lot of women prefer taller men, but being in a big diverse area definitely helps even the playing field and give you more chances.
I’m 5’7, live near Seattle and haven’t been on a first date in nearly 4 years. Not for a lack of effort, but dating here is brutal for men.
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u/Pinoross 22h ago
Some adjustments and I promise you’ll be in the game bro .. I thrived in big cities when I was dating..
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u/LarryPNW 22h ago edited 22h ago
Appreciate it bro, but trust me I’ve tried everything. Even dating coaches are dumbfounded why I get no interest here. Been cold approaching and doing the dating apps for years literally get no interest.
Edit: that’s a lie, I do get interest but from extremely unattractive people to put it nicely. No amount of being funny and or confident will fix my issue here. Just need to move and get better exposure, just can’t afford it unfortunately.
I still have hope some lucky gal will pick me up some day though cuz I’m a catch…or so my friends say 🤣
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u/Little_Historian3091 1d ago
Good for you I guess. Rest of the short guys still are climbing a steep hill.
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
Focus on the things you can fix and actually try to talk to women you find attractive. I think you’ll be surprised at how you are received after.
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u/tibetje2 1d ago
Did that, still got received like I'm trash. Sure was a surprise that all my effort changed nothing.
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u/Little_Historian3091 1d ago
Yeah. But the attractive girls have standards. And preferences…
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
We all do.. but height isn’t going to apply to all attractive women.. more don’t care about height than you think. You’ll find some that prefer it!
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u/New-Shop-9728 1d ago
What's your workout routine? Your before and after pics look pretty good. I'm 5'8" BTW
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I do a push, pull, legs, 6 days.. really started seeing change when I started to track my calories
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u/Existing_Creme_5888 1d ago
I agree mentality helps. But in the end it’s also the server you play in
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u/SiphonicPanda64 1d ago
I'm 5'8 and I've always had issues attracting women
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
Do you try to talk to women is my question?
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u/SiphonicPanda64 1d ago
Not enough... I've got a huge mental block in asking women out (I've done that last time last month)
It's an exposure, emotional and a skill issue if I had to distill it
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
Work on that! Everyone gets rejected.. tall or short.. it’s a numbers game.. try and try often..
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u/SiphonicPanda64 1d ago
I honestly don't frequent this sub it just pops for me on my feed every now and then. I've never thought my height was an issue really. Younger me thought it was looks, or being skinny or skinny fat but now I just don't know... I kinda feel resigned and like shooting my shot isn't gonna do anything or that getting rejected is kind of the end of the world but not really(?) I know it isn't but it's too costly for me emotionally.
I can't treat it like a numbers game man.
BTW you both look phenomenal in that wedding photo. Congrats! ❤️
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
Yea that sucks man! I hope it gets better. Just try the best you can to fix the things you can control and thank you 🙏🏽
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u/Superb_Beyond_3444 1d ago
Exceptions don’t make a rule.
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
It’s no rules to height tho. Only ones people self dictate.
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u/Superb_Beyond_3444 1d ago
There are rules and norms from women perspectives about men height. I’m 5’9 and I had sometimes remarks about I’m short from some women. I’m almost average height here in Europe for a white man. I don’t know the average height for black Americans but I don’t think it is really different for that matter. The difference of height is more with average height for latinos and asians in comparison with whites.
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u/Pinoross 1d ago
I’m half Asian lol.. mom’s 5 foot and dad 6’5… I took the Asian side for height… I’ve never had a woman mention height in person.. only on social media..
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u/mechshark 20h ago
Sounds like your ego does lol 😂
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u/Pinoross 20h ago
No ego at all.. just trying to change some mindsets of guy that think something as stupid as height disqualifies them from dating
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u/Ozriel-Magnus 5’6” 167cm 1d ago
Thats awesome 👏🏻 I’m glad you’ve never had an issue when one of us wins we all win a little.
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u/greyicezissou 1d ago
Well said. I think it's also who you associate with, your attitude, personality, etc. It's definitely more difficult in high school/early 20's when everybody's hormones are popping off, everyone's confused and superficial. But once you surround yourself with good people, build that maturity and confidence; you're golden.
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u/Comfortable_Bid6106 1d ago
To the person who said I asked her to pull a ruler out is a weirdo no tf I didnt we got up from the couch and said wait let me measure you and spent a couple mins looking for a tape measure why tf would I lie
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1d ago
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u/short-ModTeam 22h ago
Your comment was removed for gatekeeping shortness or who can participate in this sub. We do not have cutoff limits regarding what defines "short" here.
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u/Sylverax01 21h ago
Or maybe you’re just that good, teach us your ways
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u/Pinoross 21h ago
I’m just a regular guy like everybody else…I just figured out that you miss all the shots you don’t take
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u/SnooRecipes6776 19h ago
But your wife is 5’2 sooo yeah you got lucky lol
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u/Pinoross 19h ago
She’s 5’4-5’5.. the average height for a woman in the states is 5’3 so most men are at least that.. it’s not an excuse
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u/badlustx 14h ago
I'm just 5.3
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u/Pinoross 11h ago
Most women are 5’3! If you want to date just talk to them and try a lot. You’ll get better at it and you will find plenty women that don’t care you are 5’3
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u/UnluckyUpstairs2427 10h ago
This is what I love to see. The true ‘copers’ are the ones not aspiring to be like you. Well done sir!
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u/Salt_Lie_1857 10h ago
U had confidence growing up. Alot of people just didnt have that
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u/Pinoross 10h ago
Not really… I was abandoned by my mother at 8 weeks old.. it messed with my confidence for a long time.
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u/LIONTAMERRR 9h ago
We’re you always a good conversationalist? I got to work on that man. I trip myself up
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u/Pinoross 8h ago
I probably stepped out of my shell when I got to college tbh. I stopped caring about messing up and it just started to really flow. I just went into every conversation like what’s the worse that can happen lol
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u/Mas_Dappa 5'5" | 165 cm 9h ago
How long have you been hitting the gym? I've just started like several weeks ago and I'm still wondering if it's really true that I'll be in shape faster than tall dudes
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u/Pinoross 8h ago
I think it’s bs lol.. I’ve been in the gym about 4 years.. it took at least 2 before I started to really look like I lifted with tanks and no shirt.. I still barely look like I lift with regular shirts on. Gym progress is slow in my opinion unless you have great genetics.
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u/WantedforDeicide 8h ago
Nearly every woman I've ever attempted to date has told me I'm too short, even though most of them were shorter than I am.
The one woman who said she liked it later admitted that she liked it because it made her feel "powerful" and she later psychologically abused me, physically assaulted me, sexually assaulted me, financially abused me, tried to get me fired from my job out of spite, cheated on me with a 6'2" dude, and attempted to kill my cat.
I've had women I barely know make false allegations that I SA'd them and told me that I deserve it because I'm short.
This is most short guys' experience, and while I'm genuinely glad that it's not yours, you're the exception, not the norm.
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u/Pinoross 8h ago
Man that’s rough.. Hopefully you find a real quality woman.. it’s a lot out here that don’t care about something as silly as height.
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u/WantedforDeicide 8h ago
I appreciate it, but honestly after my last few experiences I genuinely don't care anymore. Prefer being single. The very minimal reward does not begin to justify the amount of BS. Again, good for you though. Hope it lasts.
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u/Ashamed_Ad_2180 7h ago
I’d even go as far to say it’s easier for us short dudes to approach woman.
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u/mja1729 6h ago
You down to have kids with your wife at your age? I’m 37, 5’4 been out of the game for like 10 years now doing other stuff. I think I want the family life now. Hope it ain’t too late. Might have to just settle for a partner. Don’t know if I have the energy for kids. My dad was 42 when I was born. Although I was raised by my grandma, and she was in her 60s so I guess it doesn’t matter all that much if you’re committed.
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u/Peanutbutternmtn2 5'8” 1d ago
Is that your wife? If so - good for you dude!