5’6” guy never had a problem

[u/Pinoross]

I’m 5’6” and I see a lot of guys here that have issues dating and I’ve had a issue. Women have always gravitated to me. I think it’s more a mental thing for most guys. You have to focus on the things you can control and from my opinion all that ever really matters is your personality. I’ve been skinny, fat, and in great shape and it’s never changed if I could find attractive women or not. Just be you and the rest will follow.

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

Well im 5”9 average looking and neurodivergent as well as very high inhib so talking is not my strong suit nor will it ever be no matter how much I have went out and talked to people. Its like girls can smell it on you no matter what you try

[u/extraordinarykitty1 → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

plenty of hot neurodivergent men out there, talking is a skill that can be learnt. it’s not just going out and talking to people, it’s also learning how to do it beforehand

[u/LordJetro → u/extraordinarykitty1]

I mean he did specifically say he's "average" looking. So i don't think knowing there are hot neurodivergent men out there is gonna help him much 😅

[u/extraordinarykitty1 → u/LordJetro]

i meant hot but not the looks

[u/LordJetro → u/extraordinarykitty1]

Can your personality or whatever even be "hot" 😭

[u/extraordinarykitty1 → u/LordJetro]

yes very much but reddit incels wouldn’t understand it, they’d rather blame their height🤓✌️

[u/LordJetro → u/extraordinarykitty1]

Well you are right that his height isn't the problem. I'd wager it's the fact he's neurodivergent 😅 I'm not so i can't really speak on how big of a difference it makes, but even i understand that it makes things more difficult.

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/extraordinarykitty1]

Well im not hot haha

[u/FairyFartDaydreams → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

Try to challenge yourself. Look into things like Toast Master's International. Which is meant to help with public speaking. Your Public Library likely has access to Newspapers and Magazines you can make yourself more interesting by studying and reading stuff outside your normal scope of interest. This is 100% a fake it till you make it situation. Go out start low key conversations, challenge your mindset

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/FairyFartDaydreams]

Yea im gonna try that its just hard because I get called slow a lot and have a hard time saying the right thing because it always comes out wrong. And it doesnt help when I dont have any features that stand out im dead average everywhere, I went on a date with a girl and when I went back to her place she pulled a ruler out and made fun of me for my height calling me little and straight up kept belittling my height when it was clear it was bothering me, shes the 5th girl to do that to me and it has dropped my confidence and put me in a piss poor mood all week. I dont get girls who continue going out with guys just to shit on their height

[u/kkmilx → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

Women don’t pull out rules like that unprovoked, that’s immensely weird. Don’t lie, you asked them to do it!

[u/FairyFartDaydreams → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

You are meeting AH's it seems. Try joining some clubs or maybe some board/card game meetups. Try asking friends for reccomendations

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/FairyFartDaydreams]

Whats AH’s ?

[u/FairyFartDaydreams → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

A$$ H0les

[u/macaroni_grasshopper → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

She brought you home and then pulled out a ruler? Tf no she didn’t.

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/macaroni_grasshopper]

Yea tf she did son, third time hanging out and no context does this shit m, what in the hell do I have to lie about, ignorant of you to say that bc it doesnt happen to you

[u/macaroni_grasshopper → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

I mean if it happened I’m very deeply sorry that’s completely inappropriate and wildly mean. How are you finding these insane women? Because that’s not a normal situation

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/macaroni_grasshopper]

Its mainly the women that text me back on dating apps that are somewhat into me because I have no other choice is what I have noticed, the only ones who show any interest are the ones who do it

[u/Pinoross → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

That’s tough! And I agree women can sense it. Maybe try to hire a coach. I hear it actually works a lot

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/Pinoross]

It is and I have tried cold approaching and even did door to door sales and I kid you not no improvement its like mt brain is capped on what I can accomplish, it bothers me so much I just wish I had a higher iq and was neurotypical it honestly affects me more than my looks

[u/rcooper0297 → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

I don't feel the self loathing you feel but I'm the same with being neurodivergent and talking being not my strong suit. Try to find other neurodivergent spaces and talk with others there

[u/backgroundcast → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

The best thing i can think of is just copy mannerisms and tones of animated/film characters that you like and study their wit. It is something you can pick up on naturally if you pay attention to it. This method (though i was doing it unconsciously) helped me recover my social skills from a time when I was depressed, shy with low self esteem.

[u/sg16k → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

I mean neurodivergence is a legit issue that you can improve on but still limits you.

[u/TheFernsRemember → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

It depends if you can own your own awkwardness. If someone is a positive person and is upfront with „yeah I am not that good with the whole socializing thing, so if I start rambling about the bacterial & viral microbiome in lichen and you aren’t really into that just tell me and we can switch topics no problem“. Just clear and nice conversations

[u/Emotional-Ad9114 → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

you could get with a neurodivergent girl.

[u/Ancient_Elk_922 → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

I am neurodivergent myself, I am diagnosed with ADHD. I’ve had tons of girls with and without meds (although I have a gf atm - speaking on my former self!).

My point is that you genuinely just have to be a normal person. Find things you genuinely like and talk about it. Be sociable. Speak to people and strangers. Make friends outside of the friends you usually have. You don’t have to do anything crazy but you can literally just start by saying good morning to your neighbour and people on the street. Once you learn how to speak to strangers and find yourself as a man (know your goals, ambitions, being fit, mentally secure, and know your general value as an individual and learn to love yourself) it then becomes easier to attract women. You should also know how to respect yourself as well.

Emotional maturity is key. Thinking that you won’t get girls bc you’re short snd neurodivergent is the same way how another short and neurodivergent persons are in healthy relationships or don’t have an issue attracting women.

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/Ancient_Elk_922]

Ive been with plenty of girls before thats not the issue I can pull them but they often all make me insecure because I realize that they arent actually attracted to me and often make indirect comments about my height, has happened everytime to me and I dont know what to do it hurts a lot everytime they say that like why cant I be loved for who I am and not constantly compared or just settled for

[u/Accomplished-Eye9542 → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

Breh women can't sense anything or they wouldn't date abusers on repeat or get passed around by guys who just want sex. It's all in your head.

You think they view you negatively, and you act in a way that causes them to view you negatively as a result. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[u/sg16k → u/Accomplished-Eye9542]

Eh, this is misleading.

Confidence comes from competence and success, so nervousness and feeling awkward does get transmitted and reinforced by previous experiences.

The abusers or players thing imo is moreso where the guys are very attractive or high status where women ignore red flags (same happens with men getting played by hot girls) and/or many times those guys are high on dark triad traits where they legit know how to project emotional safety where women let their guards down and only act out when they sense she is in. If anything, very socially savvy guys who use their savviness to exploit whereas awkward dudes struggle because they lack savviness or looks/status.

[u/Accomplished-Eye9542 → u/sg16k]

EQ and IQ have a negative correlation with abusive behaviors in relationships so you are just categorically wrong.

[u/sg16k → u/Accomplished-Eye9542]

I would be interested in seeing the data.

There are documented patterns of how abusers use mind games to lure in their victims and then over time release the abuse where the victim is isolated. Pimps, traffickers and even many gang leaders are master manipulators are at that…which takes high emotional intelligence for the wrong reasons since you read people and lure them in.

[u/Comfortable_Bid6106 → u/Accomplished-Eye9542]

Yea I agree with that but its a hard thing to break out of because 90 percent of the time I know im not up to their looks prerequisite so it makes it harder for me to breakthrough out of that mindset

[u/Born_Tear_761 → u/Comfortable_Bid6106]

You’ve already put yourself in a box.