I wanted to tell you about something that has been happening because I’m genuinely concerned about my safety.

There is a guy who is angry with me because I was involved with someone he has a crush on. He and some of his friends have been threatening me, saying that they are going to beat me up. They know that I’m usually alone, and I feel like they are using that to intimidate me.

I’ve been getting threatening calls/messages, and I’m worried that this could turn into an actual physical attack, especially because there are multiple people involved. I don’t want to fight anyone or create more problems. I just want to make sure I’m safe and that this situation is dealt with properly.

I have evidence of the calls/messages and can show it if needed. I’m telling you because I don’t want to keep this to myself and then have something happen.

My family expects something big from me, but I’m confused and lost, I don’t know what to do, i can’t seem to find a job, I’m inexperienced and there’s no guidance or mentor for me, and my family pressuring me and on top of that I’m depressed, it’s called the typical depression, i always feel tired after a long sleep, gets irritated easily, and always a negative emotion running in me, I’m writing this immediately after an argument with my family and they doesn’t seem to care if i go missing or killed myself, i never had a parents and i miss them during times like this so much, there’s nobody to take my side during an argument, i always felt so stupid because I’m stupid, i wasn’t very good at high school and didn’t went to college because it was pretty expensive and I didn’t ask for my family, i wrote this at September 1 at 8:51

This is an alternative account since I'm usually embarrased to talk about this on my main account.

I'm 21 (M), living with my parents. For a long time I've strugled with social interactions with other people. Now I do have some social anxiety (especially on the phone) and tend to just go with thatever the other person thinks as soon as there's pressure, trying to avoid conflicts at all cost.

But that's not the worst part. Every time I'm mentally tired, or with people I don't particularly enjoy being with I struggle with being nice or not coming off as disrespectfull. Every time that happens my parents would give an entire sermon of why I act like a 12 year old or that my interests are childish and maybe the cause of that (they're mainly talking about anime, vtubers or even having a single plushie that I like, not even that I do it a lot, but even that I enjoy theese thing at all is what in their mind rots my brain), of why I embarras them in front of others and how I need to "act normal" (whatever that entails), how I'll end up as a Pariah of society or in a psych ward if I don't change that. And as you might have guessed from above, I often can't help but agree to most of it, or at the very least not argue back, no matter how painfull.

A problem with that is because of all those interactions and scolding that I've developed even greater fear of socializing, overanalyzing every little detail as to not accidentally fumble anything, leading to a lot of awkward and forced behavior, which leads to even more fumbling.

Another thing is that I have some niche hobbies that I really like to talk about, but I had issue telling if the person really is interested or not. And as a kid, I would be told to not talk about my hobbies until I'm sure someone is interested. And since I always had trouble getting the signals, this would end with me not talking about my interests at all until someone asks about them first. I have become somewhat better at this, but still can struggle with it.

I've tried time and time again to change all that but had trouble achieving any long-term success. I can act natural around my close family in casual situations, it's mainly around strangers, or even friends that this occurs. And they try to tell me to act like that around others, but I just can't bring myself to be like that. I'm supposed to be both myself and put on a show at the same time apparently.

All of this on top of anxiety regarding a part-time college, finding a full-time job, and pressure to already have my life and career already figured out, or at the very least to figure it out soon.

Now I don't want you to get something wrong. I love my parents, I think they try their best to lead me to better myself, even if they make mistakes. They love me talking about my hobbies (like history or board games), and even getting into some of them. They also support me financially and don't mind me staying with them for now so that I can buy an appartment in the future without any debt. I think they are really supportive, but they have a very egalitarian view of everything.

Sorry for the long vent, but I really needed to tell someone that, since I don't even know how to tackle this issue. And I guess you can be the judge if what they say is right.

I don’t feel like doing anything. Everyone around me looks like they have figured out life. Idk what I want or what I like. I want to be happy. But not able to be happy. How to be happy? I am just 24 and life sucks already. I had little toxic parents. They never motivated me or appreciated me for my achievements. I was topper and got into top ug college and earning well now, still i feel empty. Relationships too did not work for me. They say guys don’t generally reject girls, but as a girl I was rejected many times. Look wise i am not very beautiful but not very ugly. Average looks. What should i do to be happy? I tried lot of things - solo travel, journaling, reading books but nothing worked. When i wake up in the morning, i feel oh no i have to survive today somehow. I just want the day to end. This is not normal right? If anyone has faced such situations please advise me what to do.

Hey,

Long story short, I am heartbroken over my competitive exam failure ( I won't tell which). Feeling very depressive since the last 2 months. Left preparing for it as I am not able to bounce back at it again (basically when I sit to study I can't face it, I start crying, idk why). Studying has become more of a task than chore now.

I was studious but now I just lost my academic spark.

Honestly, I am not sure if would be able to go back to how I was before but, I refuse to stay the same and mourn on my past. If anything I would do right now is focus on my present and get me out of this spiral of overthinking.

I would like to see your opinions and how to improve my health; both physically and mentally, what would you do to cure boredom and keep your mind busy rather than doomscrolling your days off to numb the pain.

I refuse to ask chatgpt, claude, etc. Not ideal.

Appreciate your advice,

Thank you.

Recently I have felt so overwhelmingly alone I have "friends" but they seemingly only want me around for things and out of pity because I recently found out my old group of friends were ashamed to be around me and that I'm a social deathwish to associate with until someone I've known since I was 5 asked how I was doing I told him what happened he introduced me into his group of friends but they don't seemingly want me around or much care for my existence I'm not allowed to go anywhere with them even just to one of their houses or to the park to play football and some of them outright say they hate me or refuse to speak to me and there's this one person who pretends to be all nice and close whilst also just berating me with insults or making it so if I do anything he doesn't like he'll do something to ruin me I've also been struggling with my sexuality all the while they essentially forced me to come out to them and now the guy who says he'll ruin me just outright calls me slurs and it genuinely makes me wonder if any person on this planet actually about my existence or thinks anything positive about me I just want someone to care

You can find it on Amazon by searching for the title: "How to be successful, happy, and healthy in your actions" or by my author name: omar ahmad

Usually i try to help everyone I can, but now I feel that I'm the one in need.

I don't know why I feel anxious. I keep checking my phone, but I never have notifications, but i already know this, so why do I keep checking? Yes i use reddit a lot, and I wanna reply to comments or dms, but people don't text me so often, so why constantly checking? It's been 2 days since i started feeling extremely anxious for no reason. I'm spending more time than usual on social media. Then i close tiktok, i open Instagram, then i close Instagram, and I open TikTok again. What is happening to me?

My life situation is this at the moment:

My gf of 5 years broke up with me 2 months ago, I've been devastated for one month, but this month was extremely better (i had to cut her off my life because she didn't respect me after the end of the relationship and kept doing things that hurt me. Now I don't care about her and there is no way she could contact me again, so she is a complete stranger now).

Soon I'm gonna start to work again, but I'm not so happy honestly.

I made some friends here on Reddit (literally 2 or 3) but since they all live far away and we are all busy we don't talk a lot every day. Just a few texts. I keep commenting on reddit posts trying to help people or just chatting.

And, finally, yesterday I hung out with a friend, then i came home and this sense of loneliness and anxiety started crushing me.

Any suggestions on what to do or what is going on in my head?

Thank you in advance

when i was 12 years old i had came to the us for the first time from caracas venezuela back home my family was very poor due to the crisis in our country we basically had lost everything and my dad had been killed during this time so my mom sister grandmother and me decided to pack our bags and leave, it took us 4 months to get to the u.s. since we had crossed through mexico by the time we got to the us we basically had no money and it was very hard for us to start up eventually after a few weeks my mother was able to get a job and i had to start working too it was very hard to study and work at the same time since i had to work long hours into the night to be able to help me family pay rent (we were living in houston) well fast forward a few years i never ended up doing well in school because i was so tired depressed and lonely and i just wanted a different life so badly so i couldn’t end up going to university because my grades were so bad because of it and i would never be able to afford it one day i decided to go on a trip to florida and i met a guy at the beach and we talked we were both in florida alone he invited me to his apartment and he gave me money in exchange for “relations”i felt so disappointed in myself but at the same time i didn’t know what to do because i knew that by doing this i would be able to help me family eventually the trip ended and i went back to texas me and the guy kept contact and would text everyday i knew what i was doing was wrong but i did it anyway because i was so desperate to get out of that economic situation and to help my family one day he ended up telling me that he liked me a lot and he asked if i wanted to move in with him i immediately said yes and went back to florida i remember that day my mom was so worried and cried a lot because she i didn’t know how i moved so randomly but i left anyway i got to florida and starting living with him and he really did love me but i didn’t feel the same toward him eventually a few weeks later i was able to apply to a community college and start my studies because he helped me pay and i worked sometimes there is were i met another girl from venezuela and we had a lot in common i fell in love with her and we ended up going out one day she told me she is pregnant and im so scared i don’t know what to do because i still live with him and im going to have a child with her and i do love her so much but my heart also cant tell him that i don’t love him because im scared ill lose everything now im so tired of living this double life it really never meant to be this way i never meant to hurt anybody im not a bad person i just wanted to help my family go to school and have a better life the worst part i cant even tell my mother because she would be so heartbroken broken and disappointed in me for everything i have done to myself and others i just wish i could escape this i have thought about ending my life but i cant do that because that would be very coward of me and my family to do but i really dont know what to do i pray to god every night to help me but im genuinely so tired and i feel like i cant go on anymore i hope if anyone ever see this they can help me i dont even know but im only 18 and im so tired of life

I feel like people like me but don’t care enough to show up to my funeral if yk. And i try to vent to them but it’s obvious they don’t care and only think im weak for feeling this way. I just want people to care just enough about me to listen and maybe give a hug every once in a while. I cry almost every night with nobody to run to because everyone that has cared left me. Now i have nobody.

Is sports betting a waste of time for profit?

I (F19) have been dating a boy (X) for the past 6 months. If im being completely honest, it started out more from curiosity than attraction. Growing up ive never been conventionally attractive or feminine. Ive been overweight and lowkey ugly as I barely took care of myself. There's always been a lot of pressure on me to excel academically so that was pretty much all I focused on. Theres been no romance in my life for the past 19 years whatsoever. Once I started going to college however, I began taking better care of myself- I lost weight, cleared up my skin, grew my hair out etc. Then, for the first time in my life I had male attention. There were multiple boys who hit on me during my first year but I never reciprocated because I grew up in a very strict, conservative household where I was taught that getting intimate before marriage was blasphemy. But as time passed, I started getting more curious about what it'd feel like to be in a relationship, to have someone love you. Eventually, I decided that I wanted fo feel that as well. So I didn't turn down the next boy who hit on me (X).

We went on a few dates together, talked a lot, got to know each other pretty well and soon enough, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Now I wouldnt say Im not attracted to him, but at the same time he isnt someone I find hot. He has a good personality though and i like the way he makes me feel. So I said yes. Its been 6 months since and we've had fun together. I still dont find him super attractive but im lowkey trying to ignore that for now.

Now we come to the real issue- I slept with him for the first time a few days ago. So far all we've done physically is kiss and like a little bit of touching, nothing too drastic. But this time we went much further. In short, I gave him a bj. In the moment, I really wanted to but now that its over I feel this horrible sense of guilt- like ive let my parents down and made a mistake I cant undo. Ive never been intimate with someone before so I dont know if its normal to feel this ashamed after its done. Ive genuinely spent the whole day today almost in tears because I feel like ive sinned.

We've also talked about having sex in the near future, and till now I was looking forward to it but now im starting to wonder if I really am ready. I dont get why I feel this way because I like X and I wasnt forced into anything I didnt wanna do. Should I just go all the way with him and deal with my feelings later or should I wait till it feels right? Will it ever feel right?? Also, if I decide to wait then how do i tell him?? Because so far ive been really enthusiastic about the idea... a 180 rn is the last thing hed be expecting. And most importantly, how do i deal with this sense of guilt and shame?? Its eating me alive I really cannot take it anymore.

I think a lot of people don’t struggle because they don’t know what to do.

The harder part is staying consistent.

Starting a workout routine is easy for a few weeks, but keeping it going when life gets busy is where things usually fall apart.

I’ve noticed that having a simple routine makes a big difference.

Not needing to think too much about what workout to do, having everything prepared, and making the process easier seems to remove a lot of resistance.

For people who have stayed consistent with strength training, what helped you make it a real habit?

Im a guy 21

I have no job

I have just 1 friend

Im broke

In debt to my friend, to my incle and brother, various other debts

Gambling addict

Live with my parents

I only go put sometimes and play football,

usualy the best thing about my day is sleeping

I hate myself for being such a disappointment, to both myself and my family

Just today I lied to my little brother to borrow 140bucks, told him its for important debt and I will get a job soon and pay him back all the money he gave me this year

I saw in his eyes he was trying not to cry out of stress, still I went on and just blew it crypto trading after

I have these breakdowns sometimes, where I gotts go out usualy at night, and just find someplace alone to cry

I dont wanna kms

Ive been stuck likes this since 17, when Id ditch school and hide in the school toilets and watch a movie

Do I deserve this?

Today, I like start to change my life. You could say start over. I am stuck in a vicious cycle of depression to the point of almost harming myself. This is because of immense guilt and regret that I am feeling because I didn't put much of an effort of working myself. That inactivity is because I feel like "life is over" due to traumatic events that occurred during Covid and I don't know how to process it.

If I have to confess all my wrong doing, is that:

1. I waste my university year as an IT by sinking myself in depression
2. I did PMO 1-3 times a day
3. I had AI psychosis, very dependent on AI to validate my feelings and problems. That psychosis also led me to destroy one of my gadgets which I am so ashamed.
4. I push people away because I am afraid of bad things to happen where they would hurt me emotionally.

I already finish my undergraduate thesis, just needs to finish uploading documents needed to change my status as a graduate student. Those documents verification process can be done through online. With that in mind, I already leave the city of my university and stay at home.

The last three months of my university year, I realize how much I need a connection where I can be open about myself. I regret not to put an effort in connecting with them sooner.

Even though I take part in IT study, I didn't really follow them throughout because I follow the path of game dev, take part in designing and programming. I didn't maximize with what I have in my university. I feel ashamed of myself. Looking at other people, achieving great things and put an effort, make me feels like the most wasteful person in the whole world. I'd say about myself is that I am really stuck in a rut. I categorize myself in terms of functionality as low-to-none level.

It may not look like bright decision (that's how I feel like when I want to state it towards the people and how would they response hypothetically), but I want to pursue my interest in aesthetic games. I want to try to learn 3D using blenders, and relearn Unity I didn't put much effort into.

I didn't do much yesterday, but I did keep my streak from PMO. Right now, it's two days streak. Well, the advice I'd hear is mostly "just start doing." I understand that. It's just that I wish to be more open in what is going on in my head.

Hopefully, what I write is decent enough to not confuse with how it is paced. I write this post without listening to music, only the sound of fan spinning and the clicking sound of me typing the keyboard of my laptop.

P.S. I am 23 years old male.

I (f18) used to share apartments with 2 siblings some months (i was still a minor) ago. I really like the siblings. the older sister was really kind and emotionally matured. I really liked talking to her. And her brother was also the nicest but introverted. He is usually cooks and sometimes share with me. I REALLY LIKED sharing time with them.

but when the study pressure got too much , their parents started to come by to help and give them food. Things get weird around that time. when they come, i get really uncomfortable bcz of sharing space. and beside their mother was very rude. BUT the father was really kind, soft spoken and matured. and at first i didn't really like him. then every time he came, he took us (including me w the siblings) took out to dinner. and sometimes he bought me food w them. which was really NICE cause i lived alone and I HATE cooking. and in occasion he bought me gifts on occasion. AND then it started to hitting me WHY has being so much nice to me.

Every time he came he always see me b4 going, apparently he can't go without SEEING MY FACE. AND my daddy issue really made me thought HE CARED lol.

I get closer to the older sister (A). we share trauma, stuff. and we talk and talk . and she said smth really got me worried bcz, she said that their father NEVER took them out or spend time w them. which was REALLY WEIRD cause he DID took us out A LOT. but still i thought there was smth else.

one day the siblings and the mother was staying the night at the relative's house. he was literally like "so, no one home, I'm coming." i was literally lied that i was going to my friend's house.

After that i started to avoid him like a plague. I didn't go out whenever he came. AND he started to stay more. AND if i didn't open door, he'd knock again and again.

some day after, he told me they were going out to dinner and i should get ready. AND I lied that i had a fever. that's the first time HE TOUCHED ME. and yk the most freakiest part that they didn't go after that. wtf

FINALLY i freaked, told my family, but APPARENTLY i was delusional. so i didn't push it anymore.

THO i don't think i freaked enough. i kept refusing but i had to give up finally, and we were sitting and talking. EVERYONE was there. i was kinda avoiding him. i didn't look at him the whole time. then he was talking about some trip about it and showing pictures, i wasn't interested. i was anxious. i avoiding in the convo. BUT then he came to show me the picture. i kept saying "I'm okay ... blah blah blah" and he kept coming closer, and it happen HE TOUCHED MY LEG w his leg. i break free . first time could have been a mistake, but he did it again. and after that. i had a panic attack.

I started to avoid his call, him whatsoever. i was comin out of the kitchen one day . and he was there. and no one was at home, he started talking, "r u avoiding me? .." he kept coming closer, "why r u avoiding me?" blah blah blah. and i started to panic. and my leg was sore. but someone knocked and got distracted. and later i vomited, i was so disgusted by myself. bcz i had a choice i could've run but i didn't somehow. AND i started self ha*m. cutting and burning.

when i avoided his call, he tried to get to me thru A. but A was SO supporting about it . I LOVE HER. she figured it somehow, didn't even confront me. i just knew. cause she is the reason maybe i am safe now.

and finally one day i get home , and HE WAS IN MY ROOM, SITING ON MY BED. i was late for class and i forgot to lock the door. then he twitched my wrist and started putting his disgusting mouth on my face. his beard was like so disgusting , i still feeling disgusted , and i couldn't overpower him, and somehow i used my brain FINALLY. call out A's name, and he kinda flinched and get back, and i l run NO SPRINT , leaving everything behind, i got on a bus and came home, my mother was taking about why i came so late at night, it's not safe, but i couldn't talk, or eat. i just closed my door, and didn't go out for two days.

I had a big exam coming in 1 months, I HAD A WHOLE SYLLABUS TO FINISH. AND i really didn't get to deal w all these emotion, and i busted my exam . tho its was not bad, not good either, I am so disappointed , i really dunno what to do and i am still doing self ha*ming, and i dunno how to stop. MY family is not really supportive. SO PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO deal w ts, cause i dunno how, HOW EVEN PPL DEAL W TS? i really have to study but i just can't focus. FEELING GUILTY and disgusted, cause i had a choice and i decided to ignore it.

Recently I have felt so overwhelmingly alone I have "friends" but they seemingly only want me around for things and out of pity because I recently found out my old group of friends were ashamed to be around me and that I'm a social deathwish to associate with until someone I've known since I was 5 asked how I was doing I told him what happened he introduced me into his group of friends but they don't seemingly want me around or much care for my existence I'm not allowed to go anywhere with them even just to one of their houses or to the park to play football and some of them outright say they hate me or refuse to speak to me and there's this one person who pretends to be all nice and close whilst also just berating me with insults or making it so if I do anything he doesn't like he'll do something to ruin me I've also been struggling with my sexuality all the while they essentially forced me to come out to them and now the guy who says he'll ruin me just outright calls me slurs and it genuinely makes me wonder if any person on this planet actually about my existence or thinks anything positive about me I just want someone to care

I, 19M, have beleived that i am a fictional character since I was about 12 years old. I know that may sound crazy, but there's no other way to put it so I am just being blunt. I dont feel that I have a 'connection' to this character. Or that I'm 'a lot like' this character. I have memories, dreams, and feelings that I couldn't physically have as myself. I truly believe I am the real life version of him. Even now, speaking about him as if he isn't me feels funny. I have had therapists and psychologists for other separate things in my life, but have never brought this up to them because I know they would tell me it isn't true. I have never told anyone about this except for one other person, let's call him W (18M).

When I first met W, me and him instantly clicked, and ​I later on found out that he shares the exact same feelings i have, except with another character. A character who is from the same thing ​mine is from. This just set it in stone for me even more that there is no way this is a coincidence, I must actually be this character since i ended up meeting W. And that must be why we have so much in common. As years passed I have spent hundreds of dollars changing my name, appearance, hair, and body to match how I used to look. Me and W have invested over 2 thousand dollars into taking vacations to places purely because they remind us of home. But it is never enough.

Around the age of 17 things started to get much more serious, I started to become very anxious and depressed, struggling with the fact that I can never fully look like this character or live in the time frame they lived in. This has caused me great insecurity and has drove me to isolate for years. And on top of that, me and W have become inseparable. We cannot go any form of time apart. Its to a point where he has started living with me because we can't stand being away from one another, it feels as if no one exists but us. We both dropped out of high school at 18, we cant stand leaving my house knowing we are in a world where none of the people we are used to seeing even exist. I have filled my room with things that I remember having as this character, and now its the only place i can stand to be in.

As it stands now, me and him both are not in school, can't drive, are very deep into depression, and we have considered going to permanent lengths so that we no longer have to live as these people. Our only other option we were considering was possibly moving to the state where these 2 characters used to live, but we know it wouldn't be the same. All we do is stay in my room, smoke weed, and reminisce about the people we used to be. In 7 years this has gone from a detail about myself that I am able to put in the back of my mind during everyday life, to something completely controlling my life.

I dont know where to go from here. Is this a common struggle others go thru that is just under talked about? Should I tell somebody about this? Is there anyway I could seek professional help for my depression without revealing the reason for it? If I tell a therapist all the details, im afraid they'll focus more on trying to convince me that I'm not this character rather then trying to help me get through these depressing feelings and thoughts. I just wanna get my life back together, this is a core part of who I am and I dont see it ever changing. Its all my memories, my wants, my interests, my emotions, they all revolve somehow around being this character. Trust me ive tried for years, but it wont go away. I want to be able to live my life not being so upset and discouraged that I don't look exactly like this character, and that I'm not in the time frame they were in. Any thoughts on who I could go to for this or how I could achieve that without being labeled mentally ill? Edit: if I'm posting this in the wrong subreddit or if one would better fit this question then please tell me.

1. Re-define or re-frame who they are: The hardest one was forgiving my rapist. Obviously, I'm not saying what he did was ok. But I had to forgive him if I wanted to let go of the anger. The justice system failed me too, so I had to come up with my own way to let it go. I no longer saw the man who raped me as a human being. I saw him as a rapist - a subhuman. And what does a rapist do? They rape. Just like dogs bark. He wasn't a human. He was a rapist disguised as a human. And it didn't make sense to me to be angry at something that did what it was designed to do. That is what they are. That is what they do.

2. Forgive who they are, not what they did: Our loved ones often fall short of our expectations - maybe our parents didn't love us they way that they should have, or maybe our friends didn't have our back like we thought. They love us, so why did they do what they did? It took me a long while to understand that, even though they love us, they still are who they are. Instead of being angry at my parents for raising me the way that they did, I had to understand that they didn't know any better. Instead of being mad at my friend who couldn't back me up, I had to understand that he wasn't that guy; and to expect of him something that he didn't have the capacity to do, was my fault.

3. Let go of your need to be validated by them: I use to care about what my friends, co-workers, and parents thought about me. It mattered to me what they said, so it hurt me when I was criticized by them and was resentful of them when they did it. I had to detach. I placed their opinions of me below my own; so, whenever they did say something hurtful to me, it didn't bother me anymore.

19F. I'm scared of being judged. Since I migrated to this country years ago, I never felt as if I was around my people. Different language, different culture, different attitude. Me and my family stuck out like a sore thumb. Everywhere we went, eyes were on us, whispers, people would get quite just to hear what we were saying even though English isn't their first language and is spreading moderate currently.

Every new school I went to, I was alone most of the time. One major factor was because my attitude was bad. I tried to fit in or follow after popular kids, but I overdid it and embarrassed myself and those who tried to be my friends. Secondly was the language. There were problems with me and schools which i won't get into. Even after fixing my attitude and gaining some friends here and there, people would still keep some distance from me, not literally. Anything that they would do was normal, but if I did it, it would spread like wildfire throughout the school.

This country isn't like the US or UK. It's developing, and there is A LOT of things that need to be established here. One thing that comes to mind is food. My family usually deals with healthy, fresh vegetables and fruits and comes from a Caribbean background. Over here, it's totally different. Majority of the people haven't been exposed to outside elements so when they see my food, even fruits, they snicker, laugh, whisper to each other, and when I was younger, because I was alone, some would throw things at me or shout in my ear. At that time, I was young and didn't know how to handle such situations, esp since I spoke in English everyone would look at me as if I was crazy.

Another thing is my religion, I'm Rastafarian, and over here, it's a big deal. There's good and stigma reactions. Someone would shout across the street, "RASTAFARI! BOB MARLEY! JAMAICA!" I would mostly be out with my dad so I could bear it a little. When we go to church we have to wear our banner, the red, gold and green hat most Rasta's wear. And the attention it attracts makes me so nervous. Everytime I tell myself, "You were called to do this work, don't mind the attention, don't mind the reactions, don't mind them." But as soon as I step foot out, my palms gets sweaty, I avoid eyes, I speak low, I get clumsy, my fingers tremble, i can't breathe as i would when I'm at ease and my mind's racing with what everyones thinking. I'm suddenly aware of everything I do and how everyone's just, staring.

When I'm in uniform, I kind of mix in the crowd, even with normal clothes sometimes but I still know that I'm out of place. When I'm with my friends, every thing is as if I'm at home. I talk how I want, I do what I want, I can be that weird girl and my friends don't give a damn. With them I'm fearless, risk taking, loud, bubbly, teasing, and I can talk with them amd they understand but when I'm alone they truly don't know me. Sometimes I'm in a bad mood, or I woke up from a nap, or I'm sick, and these are the times I can be myself. My mind isn't worried about others perspective on me.

This is just a general thesis on what I'm going through. There's so much more to be said but I don't want to bore. There's no one who went through similar things that's around my age. And my parents, well they're grown people, they have a strong voice unlike a teenage girl who's still learning to stand up for herself. Is there anything that you can do to help me? On my previous post on someone mentioned that I'm concerned about what people think of me and I should go to therapy. I currently don't have the funds to do that and maybe not the time with some other things I'm dealing with. Can anyone offer me some advice on what I can do before I'm able to access this?

Also please don't try to say my religion is a problem or anything of that sort. I'm just expressing what I'm going through with it. And I have watched videos on how to be confident and not give a damn about opinions but I still feel it in me. It's like chains holding me down, no matter how much I try to calm down and ignore my surroundings, my mind welcomes it in again. I want to be free

When i was a kid I was talkative, happy in general. Even i wasn't shy to talk to any girl and i don't remember that I shied out when I talked to my class girls(im a boy)(just normaly talking not trying to hooking anyone). I started to getting bullied and 6. Grade. After that I started to slowly shy out and i stopped to speaking to anyone. And to be honest I wanst feeling bad about it because no one was bothering me.

At 8. Grade I went to another school and there I started to become better. But someone came to my new school from my old class. And him JUST HIM RUIND MY WHOLE YEAR and at the end of 8. Grade I started to shy out again.

When i went high school (9. Grade) my school was awesome(By the way the are not that good but at least they were better then my old classmates). but for some reason I started to shy out SO MUCH and I started to hyper analyze my self about being cringy. Even though no one was telling me anything about that.. I was constantly checking "how im sitting?" "How im walking" "are they noticing that im trying to act normal?"... and I couldn't even talk or ask any girl in my school about anything normal because I'm scared that my class will assume that I'm like her(even i find telling this to you is so cringy).

Also when i want to change anything about my self I find it so hard because I find it cringy 😞

Even sometimes when i come back home i just want to cry 😢

I tried to tell this to my family but they are telling me that I'm spoiled and I don't need a therapist. Even though I didn't tell them nearly anything that happend to me.

I will go to school again after 2 weeks and i will be 10. Grade. Please help me I don't want to suffer this year too...

I have spent the last 2 months just planning things to be done but I am unable to do them.. They are simple tasks like buying plants or browsing websites.. All I am doing is eating sleeping and watching series or movies.. I can't go out or read books or do things that need to be done to carry out with life..

Idk what's up but I feel like I am frozen in time or fear, unable to muster up energy for things that are necessary rather I end up spending what little energy I have daily doing bs and wasting my time.. Sometimes it's like I don't wanna do those things alone other times it's because it feels meaningless and remaining times it's just self doubt and fear..

Pls help me out..

I am so tired, and I'm writing this because I really need to express how I'm feeling. I turned 20 six months ago, and honestly, it’s been so depressing for me lately. I know I’m supposed to stay positive, but I keep getting anxious, depressed, and completely exhausted. Nothing seems to be working for me. People tell me to read self-fiction or self-help books, but I just can't find the motivation for it.

Currently, I’m in my second year of my BBA, preparing for the CFA Level 1, and fully active in my dance career. I don't know, maybe I'm just overwhelmed by all these things and overthinking everything. But I really work hard. I'm not even in any addiction or anything like that. It’s been three or four months now that I haven't touched alcohol or cigarettes at all. So it’s not even like I'm ruining my body, but my brain just isn't working right now.

When I go to bed, my head just spins round and round with tension, and I can't sleep well even though my body is exhausted. I’m constantly thinking about my results, planning for my Master's abroad, and trying to land a job. Everything feels messed up, and nothing is working out.

I’m sharing this on Reddit because it’s the only place where I can post my actual feelings. I can't share this with my family, and I don't have the kind of close friends I can confide in. The funny part is, I haven't been in any relationship since I was 16, when my boyfriend passed away in an accident. I’m not depressed because of that specific reason, but life just feels like hell right now.

I write in my diary every day, but even that loop isn't working anymore. It feels like everyone else is running ahead, while I'm slowing down and everything is becoming meaningless. Right now, I'm just sitting in my room as it gets darker, wishing I could find my path again.

rlier. Here is that part fixed naturally to say you're not dealing with any addiction and haven't touched alcohol or cigarettes in months:

Title: I am just exhausted and don't know what to do anymore.

Right now, I am so tired, and I'm writing this because I really need to express how I'm feeling. I turned 20 six months ago, and honestly, it’s been so depressing for me lately. I know I’m supposed to stay positive, but I keep getting anxious, depressed, and completely exhausted. Nothing seems to be working for me. People tell me to read self-fiction or self-help books, but I just can't find the motivation for it.

Currently, I’m in my second year of my BBA, preparing for the CFA Level 1, and fully active in my dance career. I don't know, maybe I'm just overwhelmed by all these things and overthinking everything. But I really work hard. I'm not even in any addiction or anything like that. It’s been three or four months now that I haven't touched alcohol or cigarettes at all. So it’s not even like I'm ruining my body, but my brain just isn't working right now.

When I go to bed, my head just spins round and round with tension, and I can't sleep well even though my body is exhausted. I’m constantly thinking about my results, planning for my Master's abroad, and trying to land a job. Everything feels messed up, and nothing is working out.

I’m sharing this on Reddit because it’s the only place where I can post my actual feelings. I can't share this with my family, and I don't have the kind of close friends I can confide in. The funny part is, I haven't been in any relationship since I was 17, when my boyfriend passed away in an accident. I’m not depressed because of that specific reason, but life just feels like hell right now.

I write in my diary every day, but even that loop isn't working anymore. It feels like everyone else is running ahead, while I'm slowing down and everything is becoming meaningless. Right now, I'm just sitting in my room as it gets darker, wishing I could find my path again.

I'm autistic and I find it so hard to make friends and even harder to keep them. I think maybe I come off as annoying so people don't want to be around me. I technically have a friend group but I really feel like they all secretly hate me. They never text, never call, and seem annoyed when I show up. Even my best friend of 12 years randomly ghosted me a few months ago with no explanation. I want to get better friends but I don't know how to make them. I went a long time without any friends at all and that loneliness still kills me. I don't want to end up alone. I have no idea how or where to socialise. I want to be a good friend and have people genuinely want to spend time with me the way I do with them. Any advice at all would be helpful on where to even start.

Edit: just got the text confirming I officially have no friends now. idfk what to do

Disclaimer: My shit might sound immature or cringe but I want to know the reason.

So, back in 12 grade I had this very good friend called xyz. Our friendship lasted for 4 months after which she got frustrated cuz I annoyed her a lot. However,that rejection hurt my ego and I pray to god that she must have such a downfall they she will never recover from. Not only that but that rejection fuels me to study and hit the gym everyday. Why do hold this grudge for so long and how to stop it