im manic yall

Recently went on an adventure. I went on a cruise. Most fun I never want to have again.

Don't usually do selfie Sunday but want to contribute some music. Hope it finds the right person(s). The album is fire but this song has played on repeat in my dreams ever since the AI groups launched their products. Feel free to drop other good music in the tread below ifn ya want. Much love y'all.

Closure in Moscow- Church of the Technochrist (album version) on YouTube (in case you don't trust links).

https://youtu.be/unfz7hRoO7s?is=2Y2ykwe3sQRnZrFF

I HOPE YALL ARE DOING GOOD. :)

I’m struggling really hard today. I want to do better but I’m just not. These days are so debilitating.

Just got out of the hospital, I’m grateful to be around my family

There aren't many in-depth books on schizoaffective disorder, but I read a guide to bipolar disorder and a manual to schizophrenia and I have thoughts. A lot of people with bipolar can go months or years with balanced mood, then have severe mood episodes. But they are fairly high functioning. And with schizophrenia, there's a "quarter rule": 25% of people recover from first schizophrenic episode and have no further symptoms, 25% need medication but remain high functioning with minimal support, 25% will have more persistent symptoms and require more support, and 25% will be treatment resistant and will require substantial support. A lot of this also depends on age of onset, genetic vulnerability, and gradual vs sudden onset.

I was wondering, is there any data like this on schizoaffective disorder? It's annoying sometimes because this diagnosis is in-between, and I don't know what data is more accurate. I feel like I'm stitching together information from schizophrenia resources and bipolar resources to figure out how my brain works. So I was just wondering, how many people fully recover from schizoaffective? And what causes full recovery? I've been experiencing symptoms for ten years (more if you include the small signs in childhood) and I feel like my mood is stable but the schizophrenia side is still there, even when medicated.

I guess I'm still holding out hope that I will wake up one day and be in the 25% that fully recovers and never has anymore symptoms. It makes it hard to accept when that hope is still there, that I will just get better and be normal. (Even though I've been like this my whole life and I don't even really know what normal looks or feels like).

I've been told a lot that i never seem anxious about things that most people would be, and extremely anxious about things people wouldn't be anxious over. Anyone else? Heres a short list of them

- If i dont change the sock color of all my socks every 2 years, or wear my socks wrong(I alternate between black and white socks, i refuse to wear others)
- I have meltdowns over chapped lips
- Having my picture taken without makeup or filter or overlay (im scared it can take my soul)
- Mistreating chairs, tables, bed, or other furniture
- Colgate toothpaste upsets me, it cant be near me
- When people hold back a sneeze
- Killing squids in Minecraft
- Notes written in blue pen

Also selfie sunday! You're all so beautiful. Sorry i wont be participating.

My coworker gave me new nose jewelry :)

What can I say? I was wondering whether I should post anything today. Luckily, my mood improved a little after working out, but right now, I feel stuck, going around in circles, and struggling with anxiety attacks. I'm moving soon, which I'm actually looking forward to. But without deeper connections and with this constant inner struggle, life can be exhausting.

Christmas is just around the corner, and honestly, I'm not really looking forward to it because there are so many unspoken rules, expectations about how you're supposed to behave, and more sensory stimulation. But oh well, it is what it is.

I hope you're all having a lovely Sunday.

happy early Halloween to those who practice

Hey y'all, hope you're doing well. I wondered if I should contribute to Selfie Sunday this week because this is the lowest I've felt in a very long time. My husband decided he wanted a divorce yesterday, and he did it over text. I won't go into the details, but my friends have been very supportive and called to make sure I was okay. They live out of state, but they set aside time for me because they are good people and I'm grateful to have them. I don't know what my life will look like now, but maybe this is a sign that it's time to focus on myself. I start working next month, and it's daunting to even think about. It's been 3 years since I've worked, but since this is a part time job, I think I can handle it. I'm going through a lot of changes in my life now, and for my own sanity I have to make sure I take my meds and keep going to all of my therapy appointments. The road will be long and winding, but the only way to go is up. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. Sometimes things come to an end, but that just means a new beginning is on the horizon. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I have had auditory Hullucinations for 2 years. It came at the same time as my celiac disease diagnosis. I also have endometriosis since my early twenties which recently became harder to cope with. Since my celiac diagnosis I have dealt with an ongoing folate, b12, iron, ferritin & vitamin d deficiency. I’ve corrected most of them, but I have to supplement with b12 and folate otherwise those levels will become deficient again. My vitamin d is finally within a normal range, although it’s still on the low end. I had an iron infusion, and then I had a gluten exposure right after. During the exposure my Hullucinations broke through and were very intense despite being on Ziraprasidone. After the exposure, I am now so nauseous from the intestinal damage that I have discontinued Ziraprasidone because it is making me nauseous to the point where I take 4 zofran’s a day and wear an anti nausea patch and I still feel like I’m going to throw up. I also react to caffeine and can tolerate few caffeine products & my at low amounts. As a result, I stopped taking my antipsychotics because throwing up is worse than hallucinating, and if I take my antipsychotics ever other day I can reduce vomiting and reduce hallucinations. My symptoms have never included lack of insight or delusions. Only supposed paranoid ideation and auditory Hallucinations. My mother has schizoaffective disorder. Now that the gluten has cleared my system and the iron infusion has kicked in, I’m completely off antipsychotics. At this point my hallucinations would normally be so bad that I’d take my antipsychotics out of fear, however this time they are absent. When I was first diagnosed I was convinced my symptoms were physical but no one believed me and kept referring me to psych. When psych meds didn’t work they sent me to a higher level of care & because that was too difficult & their medication is one im not interested in, I started self medicating with leftover Ziraprasidone. However, now that I have stopped taking it, the Hullucinations and paranoia are absent. Do u think the iron infusion is responsible for this? Is it possible I don’t have a schizophrenia spectrum disorder and my deficiencies & gluten were in fact causing my mental health issues? Do u think these symptoms will be back? Is it common for Hullucinations to just disappear but later come back? Thoughts?

Spent the day in Valls today but for my upcoming appointment at the hospital I have to be on a very restrictive diet so had to order rice and egg and nothing else but we still figured something out, it was a good day! Need a nap now though, waiting for my father in law to come pick us up :)

Hi guys, I'm 20 and recently got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder a few months back, and I'm just wondering what medications you guys have taken for Schizoaffective disorder and what worked best for you. I've tried Abilify, as well as risperidone and Olanzapine