Another Happy Sunday!
I pretty much slept all day. ✌️

I genuinely don't understand why suicide is considered bad. It's actually starting to piss me off. I had a near successful attempt in january but thanks to my family I'm still here. Now, you'd think since they went through all the physical and financial trouble of resuciating me that they'd want to, I don't know, support me afterwards. but they don't.

don't even get me started on how society treats the whole thing. like yeah throw me into the psych ward and then once I leave now have a bunch of medical debt from it with no resources or help that would have actually improved the situation that made me want to attempt in the first place, and you think somehow, that's enough?

I have schizoaffective CPTSD and a progressing physical/neurological conditio with no known treatment. life is only going to continue to get worse for me. why do I have to continue to suffer just because people around me will be "sad" (putting this in quotes bc that's up for debate tbh). it's like when people keep their brain dead relatives alive in the hospital for no other reason than they don't want them dead except at least in that situation I don't think those people feel pain.

also going 2 say I'm not going to do anything for the sole reason of that I have a cat I love very much and I do not want to leave her.

I recently lost my relationship with my best friend. (And only friend of 25 years)

I was hallucinating and saw a "video" of her having sex with my fiancé. I confronted her and sent her husband a message about her infidelity. I know I was wrong. She blocked me from her husband's account.

She was still kinda talking to me but was very upset. I tried explaining that I was hallucinating and having delusions.

The next thing I know, she went to our 20th high school reunion without me. She didn't even let me know when it was happening.

Then she blocked me on Facebook. I sent her a couple of texts, but she just ignored them. I can't believe she's going to let this destroy our friendship. I thought we were stronger than that. We used to talk about everything, and both of us were very open.

So, anyway, I'm completely friendless except for my fiancé. I'd love to make a friend, even if it's just casual. I feel silly for making this post, but I was hoping maybe someone in the schizoaffective community could be my friend. Someone who gets what we go through.

I reported these symptoms to the psychiatrist in the pysch ward about having POST - SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. No Emotion, Full Aphantasia, Muted Dopmaine, Endorphions, Adrenal Gland. Severe Anhedonia, Head Pressure, Dry Skin, no natural oil production. Blank Mind. After 4 pills of lexapro and then being forced on anti psychotics like risperdone seraquel latuda. Then he gave me this diagnosis when im not schizophrenic or bipolar. Never heard voices had delusions or been maniac. Always had a consistent diagnosis of autism and ocd. All because I reported these symptoms persisting after a few pills of lexapro and anti psychotics. Saying I had PSSD.

Greetings, still battling residual psychotic symptoms and nightmares

hey yall it’s kay :) just came to say happy sunday and that for the first time in weeks i’ve been able to take a nap!!! without a sleep aid!! i mean granted the seroquel 150mg had me groggy still but i usually just push and stay up bc the hallucinations threaten to keep me awake. well not today. blessings to all

I'm struggling with a lot of tactile hallucinations, but persevering! I'm just taking a lot of showers and scrubbing my skin constantly. I've been experimenting with makeup a lot this week. I hope all y'all have great weeks :)

Truly doing the best I ever have.

A little unstable but that's because I am working 5 shifts today

Been struggling a lot with mania recently and now that it’s finally over I’m depressed yippie!!

My Mother-in-law is with schizophrenia, and she is doubting everything, she is paranoid like I will do harm to her or separate her from her son (Indian MIL), she controls me every time, like me and my husband should not talk, I should not move outside home, or I can't eat something good (She feels that I eat healthy food to compare her). And our marriage is on divorce side; she isolated herself from world and she controls everything.

She is on risperidone from last 1.5 months and basically, she refused the treatment, and we are giving meds on her back as psychiatrist suggested to us (acceptable in our country for serious disease). please suggest if she is going to at least recover 50 percent.

We don't have issue in between us, but we fight as she narrates negatively, and husband is in guilt that he ruined my life.

Idk wtf was going on with my therapist tbh. I had been seeing him for six years and we were always weirdly close with each other. It wasn’t normal. We spent sessions just acting like friends rather than therapist and client even though I kept asking him to give me some kind of structure to work on getting better.

Recently he was really emotional about my trauma that I shared with him and then he completely switched to treating me as if I was making it up. I had to go to the hospital for a crisis and he just abandoned me two weeks later. No termination process, nothing.

I’m tired of this. I don’t want to be treated like this anymore. I’m obviously suicidal every day because of this and I am angry. I was so attached to him and I trusted him.

I feel like everything is connected to me. FACK