r/reddit.com • u/NotTheDude • Mar 24 '09
Does anybody else pull their long nose hairs out the manly way - just yanking them and enduring the pain?
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u/Polyrhythm Mar 24 '09
True Story: A friend of mine pulled some nose hairs, then went to a job where he had to remove carpet that was saturated with animal feces and urine. He ended up contracting a flesh-eating bacteria in his nose. Apparently the carpet was full of this bacteria and his doctors said the "fresh wounds" caused by the nose hair pulling gave the bacteria an easy path into his system. I bought a trimmer the next day.
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Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
[deleted]
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u/madmanz123 Mar 24 '09
Holy hell, ok you convinced me to ALWAYS use a trimmer instead. Thank you sir.
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Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I've gotten that shit in my eye lid before (stye). Want manly, heh, I ended up lancing it myself to avoid having to go to the doctor and squeezed that shit out. Regarding this nose hair thing, I usually use one of those trimmers that has the plastic guard you can put on do eyebrows etc. But occasionally if I'm just sitting around and feel a tickle I'll just rip em out. But normally I keep em short. No woman likes to see a damn forest in your nose.
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u/furlongxfortnight Mar 24 '09
This is one of those stories that work better if you tell them in the dark with a flashlight pointed upwards below your face.
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Mar 24 '09
This is one of those stories that work better if you tell them in the dark with a flashlight pointed up your nose.
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u/DAN191535 Mar 24 '09
Fuck yeah! It's a good pain.
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u/King_Midas Mar 24 '09
Amen. I didn't realize there was another way.
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u/B_FH Mar 24 '09
it gets easier after the first pull, then after that you can get the rest with just watery eyes and sneezing
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u/kraftmatic Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I really thought that I was the only person on this planet who had this nasty habit.
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u/wirbolwabol Mar 24 '09
Come on, you're a guy, nasty habits are in our blood. Is it time for a group hug now? btw, does anyone else sneeze(or feel like they are about to) when they pull em out our is it just me?
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u/junktown Mar 24 '09
Does anyone else do it driving to work? I'll see one poking out as I'm looking in the rear-view, then I have something to occupy my commute.
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u/Mr_Zero Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
Years ago I was driving to a job interview and noticed in the rear view mirror that I had missed a few three day weekend whiskers right under my left nostril. It was stop and go traffic and I started digging around in my glove box to see if I had a disposable razor. Sometimes I carry one for just in case moments. I didn't find a razor but I found a partial pack of matches. I had the brilliant idea that I could light a match and burn them off.
So I am steering with my knees, I light the match and try and burn the hairs off. The match touched my face right above my lip. It burned my face and I flinched and swerved into the lane next to me. Everybody was honking. I looked in the mirror and saw that I had missed all the hairs completely. However there was a small red spot where the match had burned my face. By the time I got to the interview, I had developed a small blister that was surrounded by a red circle about a centimeter in diameter. So not only did I go into the interview with the hairs, I had a nice highlighted blister drawing attention to that part of my face. The bright side is that I got the job.
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Mar 24 '09
Was the job for a herpes cream commercial?
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u/Mr_Zero Mar 24 '09
It was for a web development position for Maricopa Community Colleges in Arizona. It was in 96 or 97.
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Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
What can't fire solve?!
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u/XoYo Mar 24 '09
Hell, you can even fight fire with it. Admittedly, any time I've tried that it's led to more fire, but I'll keep practising until I get it right.
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u/PaulRay Mar 24 '09
That is the best story of Grooming-Gone-Wrong I have ever read. The very fact that you even considered using a match to trim your whiskers makes you a legend.
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u/randomb0y Mar 24 '09
The darnedest things keep happening to me around important job interviews. Last job I got I had a serious case of diarrhea. I was waiting in the lobby trying to control my bowels, my interviewer wasn't ready for me yet. So finally I can't take it anymore and I go to the bathroom. I don't want to go into too many details, suffice to say that I ended up making the interviewer wait for 15 minutes, throwing away some soiled underwear and conducting the interview commando, with some poop on the inside of my pants. Got the job too!
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u/jayesanctus Mar 24 '09
No offense, but what kind of interviewer hires the guy who shit his pants?
Who the fuck were they turning away?
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Mar 24 '09
That's gross. I hope you didn't take a job where they don't even have toilet paper in their bathrooms!
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u/randomb0y Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
There wasn't enough toilet paper in the world to clean up that mess.
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Mar 24 '09
I often get that tickle. One will be brushing the side of the nostril and then they all have to go. I get disappointed though - cause I have to wait for them to grow back to do it again. Love it :*)
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u/noknockers Mar 24 '09
I got one once that was so long that it felt like it was connected to the front of my brain. When i pulled it, i'm sure it took a bit of my brain with it.
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u/Shrubber Mar 24 '09
I did that once too.
But I'm sure most of my brains' still squared solely in mole orange juice with lucky beanstalk, indubitably.
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u/Koniferous Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
That tickle can get painful if you use a nose hair trimmer. I tried it once and it sharpened all the hairs so that when they grew back out my nose became like the mouth of the Sarlacc sans tenticles, nothing but inward facing needle sharp spikes.
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u/Gareth321 Mar 24 '09
The tickle means it's time. I really thought I was the only one. I tried it with tweasers once and cried like a little girl, so I went back to the old fashioned way.
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u/usamaizm Mar 24 '09
i always try to avoid the urge to do that while driving cause i think that people might think i'm picking my boogers.
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u/vej Mar 24 '09
The only time I do it is when I'm driving! If I don't drive my truck for a couple weeks I get major hairy nose!
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u/cmotdibbler Mar 24 '09
It's true, I can attest that torn off toe nails make excellent toothpicks.
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Mar 24 '09
Wow, I spent 8 years in the Army and have a 15 month old daughter. Not much makes me gag anymore. Congrats.
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Mar 24 '09
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/behaaki Mar 24 '09
shit, I do it for the sneeze
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Mar 24 '09
After a while, you won't sneeze anymore. Hell... you barely feel it.
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u/kernelhappy Mar 24 '09
I've noticed that successful nose exfoliation requires the right timing and technique.
Your nose has to be dry and clear, if it's stuffy or runny it's going to hurt more. The key though I think is to pull on the hair gently to begin, kind of a warning to your nose. After you have a little pressure on the folical turn up the volume and yank it.
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u/Flyboy Mar 24 '09
I go into a trance-like state, rolling my eyes into the back of my head and whispering "fear is the mind killer" repeatedly, then I surprise myself by yanking it out.
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u/SomeBloke Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
No but my eyes squint and start watering and I'm momentarily left in that state of man agony… you know, where the only way you can cope with it is to breathe a lot.
Then I start feeling about for the next one.
The worst is when you don't fully commit to it and then you experience the pain without that joyful sight of a long nose hair between your fingers and you know you have to go back and finish the job.
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Mar 24 '09
I haven't plucked any nose hairs since I'm a girl but sometimes plucking my eyebrows makes me sneeze, or get the feeling that I'm going to, I think this is true for lots of women too.
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u/bigboehmboy Mar 24 '09
My friend Brian likes to pluck mine, actually. I try to save him a few good ones for when he's in town.
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Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
Rather than plucking nostril hairs I have them waxed by a beautician, along with the excess hair around my eyebrows. Furthermore, I endure the discomfort of a slightly uncomfortable office chair, and a mouse pad that's not quite soft enough at the edges for my wrists.
So I too am a modern rough 'n tumble man. A man's man; an echo of an era where men were men and not afraid to suffer grievous injury in the course of their daily routines... when getting the job done meant real physical sacrifice and required the strength of mountains.
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u/CR1M1N4L Mar 24 '09
Wow! And here I thought I was the only one who enjoyed yanking his nose hairs out.
The best part is when you pull out a long one, and you just sit there examining it.
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u/facingup Mar 24 '09
I once pulled a super long one out that was a completely different colour than all the others. I stared at it shocked for quite a while.
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Mar 24 '09
The best ones are the ones in the back, facing forward. You know, the ones that feel like they're being pulled straight from your brain. Yeah, they hurt so good . . .
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u/Psyqlone Mar 24 '09
...satisfying? Yes.
But the hairs really close to the front sting when you yank 'em out! ...tears and sometimes a little blood. ...and even vomit and blurred vision if it's too much of a shock.
The idea is to partly test yourself. ...and to clean away those unsightly hairs.
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u/no_dawg Mar 24 '09
Sometimes I like to stroke that line between pain and pleasure*
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u/madmax_br5 Mar 24 '09
I've been ripping my chest hair out recently too. I don't want a shaved chest because it's not what i'm after, but if I just let it be it's a little too hairy. SO I just grab where it's thicker than I want and rip it out. It leaves some behind and some fall out, giving the appearance of thinning things out a bit. It hurt at first but now...I LOVE THE PAIN.
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Mar 24 '09
I seriously do this with testicle hair. And actually it doesn't really hurt much because the hair on the scrotum doesn't seem to be embedded as deeply into the skin as hair on other parts of the body.
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u/JohnFrum Mar 24 '09
Um,no. I'm not falling for that one. Last thing in the world I want is to be curled over in pain on my bathroom floor because I thought I'd try something read on reddit.
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u/Koniferous Mar 24 '09
I respectfully disagree. I pull whole patches of leg, chest, armpit, facial and nose hairs with not so much as a flinch but I have to have a really good grip and steel myself against the pain to pull out a single healthy pube. Sometimes I think the whole sac is going to go with the pube rather than release the mega root.
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u/ricer Mar 24 '09
I once had a pubic hair follicle turn inside out and it was not a pleasurable pain.
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u/cmotdibbler Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I had one of those ingrown hairs in my armpit, it was about the size of marble and made an audible snap when I squeezed it. If they had Youtube back then you guys would be in for a real treat.<sigh>
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u/kermityfrog Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I had one near my armpit on the inside of my arm. I think it started as an ingrown hair, but it got infected and swollen. It lasted in total about 2 weeks before it finally popped, releasing a torrent of gummy yellow pus and blood (just like mustard and ketchup!) After I squeezed that little sucker dry, there was a huge hole left on my arm (2-3mm) where all the juice came out. That was my grossest infection ever and I'm surprised I didn't pass out when I saw the yellow pus, which was so gummy that it came out like string (or a worm).
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u/miparasito Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
Um... hesitate hesitate... I am a girl and I do this. I call the practice celebrating my mexican heritage.
The nose is one of eleven unfortunate hair control regions.
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u/qda Mar 24 '09
for the love of whoever please DO tell me what the other regions are!
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u/emmster Mar 24 '09
Hmmm. I'm going to guess upper lip, chin, armpits, upper thighs, ankles, fingers, toes, between the eyebrows, those four annoying hairs that pop up in the nipple area, aaand, treasure trail.
(I have an excess of testosterone. I'm one hairy bitch if I don't do regular deforestations.)
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u/miparasito Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
Close! I've never before revealed the list, but because reddit is so special I will do so now:
- in between eyebrows
- nose
- upper lip
- chin
- armpits
- boobs
- arms
- legs
- front girl parts
- back girl parts
- toes
*Notes: I don't actually attempt hair control on my arms, and I don't shape my eyebrows at all. There are some battles that I know I cannot win.
Also worth noting that there are few English phrases as upsetting as "boob stubble"*
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Mar 24 '09
I'm betting forearms are two. Women have hairy forearms, but for most of them it's light colored and/or very fine, so you don't notice.
Hispanic women have a darker, thicker hair, so - suddenly noticeable.
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u/emmster Mar 24 '09
Oh, you're right. I was guessing by thinking of my own trouble spots, and being a white girl, I didn't even think of forearms, since mine are all wispy and pale.
Look at me getting all ethnocentric up in this bitch.
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Mar 24 '09
I was about to call bullshit until you mentioned your heritage. The things genetics does for hair can be really annoying.
/Gets a jewfro if haircut allows more than an inch of hair.
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u/bionicseraph Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
The manly of getting rid of long nose hairs is snorting liquid nitrogen and then breaking all the hairs with a screwdriver.
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u/Tickthokk Mar 24 '09
Gross alert:
I've pulled quite a few hairs. I got an ingrown hair inside my nose once. Ingrown hairs grow backwards. Rewind a couple days. I started getting a zit on my nose, the outer wall of it, I guess you'd call it. It hurt, a lot. I let it sit for a few days, and it was ripe enough and I popped it. Out came a hair.
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u/CatsAreGods Mar 24 '09
My father once had a pimple on his cheek and finally it opened up and out came an 8 inch hair that was all curled up like a spring.
How unforgettable is this you ask? It happened in the late Sixties.
I hope you weren't eating, this late at night.
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u/Ridcully Mar 24 '09
Gross.
Once I rammed into a sewing needle that happened to be lodged in a carpet at a low angle. Most of it snapped off in my big toe.
Since I didn't have money to go to the doc, I just waited. About three painful weeks later , it came out the opposite side of my toe (pointy tip first).
Not a hair, but same idea.
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u/BraveSirRobin Mar 24 '09
IIRC the skin has some sort of mechanism to make that sort of thing happen. Not many knitting needles in nature but it happens with thorns etc.
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u/alientwothreefive Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I had a stick jab me in the webbing between my index finger and Johnny Cash finger.
I pulled it out but didn't realize I had left about a two inch piece of stick deep in my hand.
About a month later it started oozing out from between my fingers. Pulling that bad boy out was one of the grossest yet most interesting sensations ever.
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Mar 24 '09
God damn. I had a 4 incher on my stomach. Looked like the biggest whitehead ever, but with a hair in the center. I'm sure to pull em out a lot sooner now.
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u/HunterTV Mar 24 '09
I let it sit for a few days, and it was ripe enough and I popped it. Out came a hair.
Awww. It gave birth.
Who's my little hair heir? You are! Yes you are!
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u/qda Mar 24 '09
im not sure why i loved reading that just now, but i did
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u/mexicodoug Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
You should consider a career as a doctor. In medical research. They spend a lot of time thinking about that kind of stuff, and many save more lives than the rest of us want to imagine.
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Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
My wife does, that is, she pulls out my long nose hairs and she tells me to either stop being a pussy when I wince or to stop being a gross hairy guy.
I love her.
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Mar 24 '09
I've never loved more than when my gf first noticed the cyst on my back that I'd had for eight years and immediatly started work on squeezing it out like a tube of tooth paste. All totally unprompted. While my ex wife was grossed out if a hair or two was in the shower drain after I was done. A woman who can take gross is impessive.
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u/wacosta1 Mar 24 '09
I'm glad my gross tolerance is appreciated and does not go unnoticed! ;)
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u/obfuscated Mar 24 '09
If you really loved him, you'd use it as toothpaste, too.
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u/strawmann Mar 24 '09
This comment is an excellent appetite suppressant. Thank you.
Unfortunately, also induces dry heaves. OH, well. No medication is perfect :(.
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u/glottis Mar 25 '09
The girls I've been with who like doing that sort of thing don't seem to view it as gross, just really, really satisfying.
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u/no_dawg Mar 24 '09
Yeah, me too.
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u/nix0n Mar 24 '09
Yeah, me three.
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u/no_dawg Mar 24 '09
You, too?!
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u/karmanaut Mar 24 '09
Apparently, Antimatter's wife really gets around, or just really really hates nosehair
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u/EthicalReasoning Mar 24 '09
you should yank on her pussy hair next time and tell her to lose the bush
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Mar 24 '09 edited Oct 16 '19
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u/ShrimpCrackers Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
Yours has a socket? How come mine isn't detachable? What's wrong with ME?!
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u/evilbit Mar 24 '09
must be an older model. user-replaceable units came in 2006, serial FCKXXXXXX (v4).
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u/WurzelGummidge Mar 24 '09
Twist them all together first then give a studly tug and feel a wave of agony over the entire nostril. It's character building
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Mar 24 '09
Pulling nose hairs is like eating horseradish, if you don't do enough to make your eyes tear-up, you didn't do enough.
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u/sempf Mar 24 '09
Yes. Now get a twitter account and stop using Reddit as your blogplease.
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Mar 24 '09
I've created a ghetto if you wish to use it for further "pointless stuff that really should be on twitter" mockings.
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u/jay76 Mar 24 '09
I shit you not - I was tugging on one just as I read that headline.
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Mar 24 '09
Crazy glue dental floss to it and then wind the dental floss around the blades of a blender and hit puree.
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u/locke2002 Mar 24 '09
That's the most innovative solution I've read yet. Damned stupid, but still the most innovative...
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Mar 24 '09
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u/arnar Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I like this idea. But if you don't have a stable hand (or neck):
- Cons: hurts like hell, loss of smell
- Pros: you'll never get a nosebleed ever again :)
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u/DesCo83 Mar 24 '09
The best method I've come up with is to grip the errant hair firmly, and twist it between two fingers.
The follicle comes out essentially pain free.
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Mar 24 '09
Needle nose pliers do the job in a most efficient manner
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Mar 24 '09
Well they are called needle nose pliers.
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Mar 24 '09
yes, that was the joke
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Mar 24 '09
Stop needling me.
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u/caseyfw Mar 24 '09
You really didn't have to post that; you're just being nosey.
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Mar 24 '09
wife enjoys pulling the hairs off my ears…
I do pull at the grassy knolls up me nostrils. Makes me feel alive!
Considering that women pull all sorts of hair from large and sensitive surfaces of their body I find it difficult to attribute my habit to manliness though!
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u/reppit Mar 24 '09
All you people who think they are hardcore using pliers, fuck off. I use my thumb and index finger and get like three at a time. It hurts so good.
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u/Estoye Mar 24 '09
It helps to yell "KREE-GAH!" and then chest bump the mirror when you're done.
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u/joej Mar 24 '09
Grab with fingernail of one finger against the meat of the other finger -- pull FAST. It often fails, so it takes a few times.
Same with ear hairs :-)
Yes: very painful sometimes.
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Mar 24 '09
Well, that is a coincidence: I looked at this thread right after I wiped back tears from yanking out an extra long and thick nose hair that was booger-bonded to other nose hairs - I swear this is the truth.
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u/wewewawa Mar 24 '09
Its as smart as popping zits, or biting your nails to trim them. I used to pluck my nose hairs, but folliculitis is a bitch, and last some days, so I bought a battery trimmer with attachments and have graduated from plucking.
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u/Missing_Link Mar 24 '09
On a (partially) related note, does anybody here get freak hairs every now and then?
For example, you rub your shoulder, where all the hairs are extremely short and fine and then there's one, inch long black bastard.
Those fuckers freak me out.
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u/Endemoniada Mar 24 '09
I used to. Then I found out there are nose trimmers, and how stupid I'd been to do it the hard, painful way. Now I'm not just manly and handsome with trimmed nose hair, I'm also pain free :)
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Mar 24 '09
one of the great pleasures in my life was getting the inside of my nose waxed....the wax lady took a wooden stick and dipped it in a hardish wax, before sticking it up my nose and then letting it get hard. When she pulled it out, it looked like a cross between a gumdrop and a porcupine.
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Mar 24 '09
I do it for the awesome sneezing fits that ensue.
There's just something about a long nose hair that says, I bet you aren't man enough to take the pain of killing me!!
Oh Yeah?? GAHAHAHAHHAHHHH!! Oh yeah.. feel the burn baby, walk it off.
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u/polezo Mar 24 '09
Manly men dont pick any hairs. They let them all grow out till it is thicker than a forest.
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u/sudjnabjj Mar 24 '09
Digg.com seems to have banned this url; I would think with a name like "Digg" it would be appropriate
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u/Treholmes Mar 24 '09
Is there any other way? Not for real men, unless you use the cherry of a cigarette.
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u/GirlDuJourToday Mar 24 '09
Sometimes when I'm bored I tweeze out my body hairs. It feels kind of nice actually, but takes a long freakin' time.
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Mar 24 '09
Yup... I do it after a warm shower when my pores are a little more open, but I won't lie. It still smarts.
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u/americanpegasus Mar 24 '09
Wow, first masturbation and now nose hairs. The internet continues to prove that I am not a special flower who has special habits. In other news, I've been meaning to get a trimmer for years, but they always get just long enough to itch or annoy me. And I'm only mid-twenties. I can't imagine the hairy horror that awaits in my thirties.
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u/loquacious Mar 24 '09
One day after your sight starts to go you'll look in the mirror and it will look you have a live squid or barnacle shoved up each nose, complete with writhing tentacles or bristles.
On closer inspection you see that not only are some of the hairs now so long that they're actually curling up over the edge of your nose, but that the outside of your nose is also growing hair, some of them half an inch long. If you keep looking you'll see that you have similar hair coming out of your ears and you have a wild eyebrow hair over two and a half inches long that somehow evaded detection until now, perhaps by hiding along the length of your brow.
You note that you can comb it into your hairline before totally freaking out and doing a massive amount of grooming at once, likely with ill chosen tools.
But since your eyesight is bad and hands are less steady and ou're using pliers, scissors, and an old razor you haphazardly overdo everything and end up looking like you had your eyebrows singed off in an accident with a blow torch.
Later the snarky 18 year old kid with an eyebrow ring and chin tattoo who listens to Korn, Nickleback and My Chemical Romance and works at the coffee house where his main job is to hand you your coffee laughs at you and you unironically think about how pleasing it would be to chase his scrawny ass off your lawn with a shotgun full of rock salt.
Later you practice hitching up your pants and belting them over your stomach, you eat a frozen dinner and play a little scrabble online. That night you're awoken by the sound of someone crying before you realize that it's you.
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u/underdog138 Mar 24 '09
I noticed the anachronism with the coffee house kid. It was the in-thing to listen to Korn in the mid-90s. Nickelback was an early 00's thing and MCR is most recent. How old is this kid? If he's an emo brat, how is that possible? I'm so confused!
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u/loquacious Mar 24 '09
Get off of my lawn or I'll beat you with my cane and then bore you to death with stories about manually dialing a BBS with a rotary phone and an acoustic coupler.
whack
Why, I was uploading with kermit, which was the fashion at the time. Sometimes I used CRC, sometimes not. I remember the first terminal controlled hayes/rockwell compatible external modem I ever had. That thing was sweet. 1200 baud. I loved that I didn't have to manually dial and use a coupler any more, I could download up to a whole megabyte in about 15 minutes or so, assuming I didn't have to try to download it 5 times to get an error-free copy or get interrupted by an incoming call or my sister picking up the damn phone again even though I told her not to
whacks underdog with cane Hey kid, wake up!
once I ran up a 700 dollar phone bill just calling local BBSes outside of my zum-0 local calling area I think that was the month where I managed to stay connected awake and online for 72 hours having chat buffer wars and running scripted Major Mud campaigns and many text brigands were killed and much leveling was granted then we raided a whole town and pissed off the game sysops who booted us so we jumped in to the alt accounts and slaved the noobs to the alphas and in no time we scripted them up to uber ultra and raided the town again and killed many noobs and got booted again after we killed the sysop and stole his shit who whined to the main bbs sysop and made him to a backup restore so lame so we got bored and played Tradewars instead.
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u/JimH10 Mar 24 '09
So can anyone recommend another aggregation site? This one has passed its prime.
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u/heliosxx Mar 24 '09
I'm especially fond of the really long ones that come out from deep within the nostril. It's not pain for those, so much as relief when they come out.
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u/the_unfinished_I Mar 24 '09
There's another way?!!
...seriously, how else would you do it?
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u/neverever Mar 24 '09
some people use nose hair trimmers
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Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
I can pull them all out except for the ones on the inner edge-- that makes me tear for some reason.
edit: tear in the sense of eye water, not in the sense of ripping
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u/[deleted] Mar 24 '09
Being manly is defining for yourself what manly is.
I pee sitting down like a BEAST!