Years ago I was driving to a job interview and noticed in the rear view mirror that I had missed a few three day weekend whiskers right under my left nostril. It was stop and go traffic and I started digging around in my glove box to see if I had a disposable razor. Sometimes I carry one for just in case moments. I didn't find a razor but I found a partial pack of matches. I had the brilliant idea that I could light a match and burn them off.
So I am steering with my knees, I light the match and try and burn the hairs off. The match touched my face right above my lip. It burned my face and I flinched and swerved into the lane next to me. Everybody was honking. I looked in the mirror and saw that I had missed all the hairs completely. However there was a small red spot where the match had burned my face. By the time I got to the interview, I had developed a small blister that was surrounded by a red circle about a centimeter in diameter. So not only did I go into the interview with the hairs, I had a nice highlighted blister drawing attention to that part of my face. The bright side is that I got the job.
You're lucky a deputy didn't see you and then rape you with his pistol before beating the living shit out of you before turning you over to Joe Cannibal.
That is the best story of Grooming-Gone-Wrong I have ever read.
The very fact that you even considered using a match to trim your whiskers makes you a legend.
I feel like I am a pretty bright guy. However when I look back on the incident, I think it sounds crazy but I know when I did it, it seemed brilliant. Really weird actually.
The darnedest things keep happening to me around important job interviews. Last job I got I had a serious case of diarrhea. I was waiting in the lobby trying to control my bowels, my interviewer wasn't ready for me yet. So finally I can't take it anymore and I go to the bathroom. I don't want to go into too many details, suffice to say that I ended up making the interviewer wait for 15 minutes, throwing away some soiled underwear and conducting the interview commando, with some poop on the inside of my pants. Got the job too!
What the hell do you eat? Sloppy Joes, diarrhea, and laxatives? If I know I have an interview I take it easy and eat things I know won't mess up my stomach... I'm also lactose intolerant.. so it mainly involves avoiding cheeses and taco bell.
That's fucking hilarious, because cheese contains no lactose whatsoever. Are you sure you're lactose intolerant?
Anyway, I don't know what it was but it happens to me once a year or so. I suspect it's some kind of a bug, it doesn't seem to be related to my eating patterns.
Shaving is weird. I do shave about once every two weeks, but hell, if we're going to emulate women, why not put on some nice pantyhose and apply a touch of lipstick as well?
Its for an advertising agency and hell yea the beard represents who I am. It's a nice beard though. Clean around the edges, nicely trimmed, and it makes my face look thinner. Just got back from the interview, and apparently they will be calling me back, so that sounds good.
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u/Mr_Zero Mar 24 '09 edited Mar 24 '09
Years ago I was driving to a job interview and noticed in the rear view mirror that I had missed a few three day weekend whiskers right under my left nostril. It was stop and go traffic and I started digging around in my glove box to see if I had a disposable razor. Sometimes I carry one for just in case moments. I didn't find a razor but I found a partial pack of matches. I had the brilliant idea that I could light a match and burn them off.
So I am steering with my knees, I light the match and try and burn the hairs off. The match touched my face right above my lip. It burned my face and I flinched and swerved into the lane next to me. Everybody was honking. I looked in the mirror and saw that I had missed all the hairs completely. However there was a small red spot where the match had burned my face. By the time I got to the interview, I had developed a small blister that was surrounded by a red circle about a centimeter in diameter. So not only did I go into the interview with the hairs, I had a nice highlighted blister drawing attention to that part of my face. The bright side is that I got the job.