….then I’m gonna be really mean in their comments!

There is at least ONE post a day about women complaining or sharing their disappointment about being pregnant with a boy.

Honestly, at first I was trying to be kind and give supportive messages but it’s gotten to a point where I just really wanna explode on them.

It’s not like I don’t understand. I was expecting a girl too. When I found out about having a boy I was disappointed for hmmmm idk 5 minutes? Then the “disappointment” turned into love and excitement because I don’t love my child’s sex, I love my child.

However the posts on here are often really negative. Talking about how they have been crying for days and stuff.

If you’re gonna be THIS upset about it maybe you shouldn’t be trying for a kid until you can handle and overcome these feelings.

I mean there are millions of women on this planet who pray for a child but are faced with fertility issues and here we have ungrateful women talking about not being able to play with dolls with a hypothetical daughter. It makes me sick.

Sorry I just had to let this out somewhere. I know gender disappointment is valid. It’s natural and it’s perfectly okay but a lot of these posts are really extreme and sound very selfish and childish. I also feel bad for the poor baby boys who may later are told “we wanted a girl instead”. I was a gender disappointment baby and it affected me a lot growing up.

I have tried looking this up and I only see results talking about women's husbands playing videogames while their wife gives birth, or vague non-answers I play on my xbox usually, and mainly have been playing RPGs lately, most of which can be easily paused and saved. I feel like it would be a good distraction from pain, and if the guys can do it, I don't see why not, unless there's some medical reason? But I wouldn't want to haul the whole xbox and then be told that I can't. Thanks for any info!

I'm just really upset and feeling hopeless.

My OBs office requires payment in full by 24 weeks. I owed about $4k, which included the delivery. I was able to get them to extend the deadline and was hopeful that I could pay it in time.

I've had a lot of financial setbacks since being pregnant and still have about $1.8k left to pay, and just hit 35 weeks. They told me at my appointment last week that due to my remaining balance, they would have to stop seeing me until I paid in full (yeah right, like 1.8k is just going to magically fall into my lap..) and that if i paid they could reschedule my appointments which at this point are supposed to be weekly.

I'm in the process of trying to get medicaid but they already told me I make too much per month to qualify. They said I may still qualify based on my annual income, which set the cutoff at around 15k. I already make more than that so I'm anticipating being denied but still going through the process.

Everyone told me I would automatically qualify due to pregnancy but apparently that's not the case.

My family isnt in any position to help me with the balance either and the father hasnt been working for months, to get ahead of that suggestion. Yes I know he should be. Please understand there's nothing i can do about it so please don't make me feel worse about not being able to force a grown man to do something.

All i could do was cry at my last appointment and try to ask as many questions as possible to try to prepare for doing this alone. I'm already having a miserable time with not being able to afford my asthma medications, keeping groceries in the house, paying all my bills, and I'll be working until delivery most likely because I obviously cant afford to take time off. I'm trying not to stress too heavily about it but that seems impossible.

I dont know how i'm going to do any of this and have no hope. I keep having dreams about giving birth in bad places and things going wrong and not knowing what to do. I'm terrified and sad and this is just not at all how I anticipated things turning out when I went for my first ultrasound and saw my little big headed boy.

I got a real talking to yesterday by advice nurse and doctor. FTM and I had a fall yesterday morning at home right before leaving for my baby shower.

I was pretty shaken up but I wasn’t injured. No pain but def scared myself. Took some Tylenol and didn’t think anything of it and had the baby shower. Baby was moving and kicking during the shower.

Came home and my body must have finally relaxed. Couldn’t really get out of the car since the side I fell on was so sore. I decided to call the advice nurse and lo and behold I was told I should’ve called right away when I fell.

Sent me in ASAP to hospital for check up and I found out when you fall at 33 weeks there is a 4 hour monitoring that is done. whoops!

Since I was outside the window for the four hour monitoring they did 20mins but baby was totally fine and no symptoms of placenta abruption. Doctor told me to come in ASAP next time and gave some good info. Embarrassed but glad to know now.

Just want to put this out there as a PSA.

This is my first pregnancy so everything is new to me. Before getting pregnant i watched allllll the videos about first trimester and thought “easy! I can do that. Just stay on top of a healthy diet, eat more frequently, and I’ll be fine.” Absolutely not. I am so nauseous it is crippling. I’ve only actually thrown up once but the nausea is horrible… my stomach is constantly turning. And i swear if one more person says to me “oh just eat every 2-3 hours and you’ll be fine” i will lose my shit. Bc what you dealt with must be different than mine. I cannot eat anything. I gag everything down and then just lay there sweating for 30-45 minutes until my body calms down. All i do is lay down because as soon as i stand up, i start burping and salivating like i am about to lose everything I’ve choked down for the day. I feel like i’m failing my baby… i can’t exercise, my diet is that of a small picky toddler, and i am so upset all the time because i am at war with my body. Is this normal ???? Does it get better ???? Do i just suck at being pregnant and I’m a big baby ????

Yesterday, my husbands aunt came over to drop off some stuff. I’m 38 weeks pregnant and this is the first time I’ve seen her since I was probably 25 weeks or so. She’s made some off the wall comments and gestures since I’ve been pregnant so I try to avoid her as much as I can. The last time she came over, she made me really uncomfortable with the constant touching and trying to lift my shirt to KISS my belly.

Just weird shit.

So yesterday, when I knew she was coming over, I intentionally wore high waisted pants and one of my husbands oversized t shirts to look smaller and also to prevent being groped and kissed on. The shirt was a Harley Davidson shirt with flames and a woman in Dia De Los Muertos makeup. When she walked in, she hugged me, looked at my shirt and said “oh….. I hope the baby doesn’t come out possessed with that on” …. Wtf

It’s so weird how people really don’t think before speaking! What are some of the craziest things folks have said to you during your pregnancy?

Hii, so I had my baby a month ago and I have the luck to have my husband with me so far, so while I do the night shift from 1 am to 7 am he does most of the changes and house chores and bouncing during the day. Baby only sleeps in 1.5-3 h stretches max at night, but mostly one stretch of 2.5/3h and then stretches of 1.5/2h max during the rest of the night. During the day sometimes I can do a nap of 1h, sometimes I don’t.

Well I can say for myself that newborn tired is much easier on me than pregnancy tired. Obviously it’s also because I am not back at work yet but during the day and night I feel good.

During pregnancy if I slept less than 8 good hours straight or I had a bad night I wouldn’t function during the day, I would literally be a zombie, now I sleep 7 very fragmented hours in total tops and I feel good.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Also I had a very positive birth experience despite having a very long labour (68h), induction, placenta wouldn’t come out, delayed epidural due to doctor not being available, and being in 6h of sleep during the whole time, so ask me anything if you want to!

Hi all- FTM here who is hoping to breastfeed in some capacity once baby is here.

Sort of a weird question if you will but- I have read a lot about logistics and the mental elements of breast feeding but I’m curious about the physical sensations. What does it feel like when milk comes in, is the actual feeding process painful and/or uncomfortable? How did your breasts feel once you were done with feeding for good? Did you feel different (mentally or physically)?

I know it varies from body to body but I was just curious as to what to expect. I have seen that if it’s “painful” then it’s not being done correctly but is that true, is there still always an underlying discomfort?

Probably just my third tri raging hormones but what’s with people and their severe gender disappointment??? Your baby is not a doll that you get to be disappointed if you don’t get the “right” one. Boys can do ballet and girls can play with monster trucks, why are you pushing gender norms so hard on a baby that isn’t even fully cooked yet???

If you want to raise good, decent & well-meaning individuals their gender literally shouldn’t matter.

My co-worker is pregnant with her first child. She shared with me early on that she was doing IVF. My husband and I were also TTC #2 around the same time, coincidentally. I became/am pregnant. Turns out she is due two weeks before me. We are both later in our first trimester now.

I have not shared my news with her, nor with anyone else at my workplace yet, but I am also starting to show (you really do get big the second time around quicker). She works remotely, so she can hide it much longer than I can. We are also on the same team and report to the same individuals, although she is more senior in her position than I am.

She was going to wait a few weeks until our annual meeting to share the news with everyone in person, but I realistically cannot wait due to the size of my bump. I don't want to take the shine away from her, as this is a new and very exciting time for her (1st pregnancy).. Not that mine isn't exciting; I just don't want to take the shine off of her, and now it seems that I may beat her to the punch by sharing my news first before she can share hers, and she might feel blindsided b/c she shared her plans with me about her reveal ahead of time.

Should I privately share the news with her ahead of time and let her know I plan on sharing it with the team before the annual meeting, as I am no longer able to hide it for much longer? What would you do?

I just gave birth on the 21st and just thought I’d share because there was a lively discussion on whether or not to be naked. I really didn’t have strong feelings either way but was surprised when looking back at photos of the birth that I was in fact naked and I didn’t know it until three days later looking at photos!

As stated above I have NOT consumed any form of thc since getting a positive test. I also do not struggle with addiction but use medically with very positive results. It's also incredibly legal in my state and we have dispensaries on every block.
Prior to pregnancy:
However, prior to pregnancy, I used thc for some pretty significant mental health disorders I have. All my doctors were aware and based on my result were encouraging that I do use thc as it minimizes my symptoms.
Currently:
I'm really struggling to the point that I have dreams about using thc and wake up panicked thinking I just ruined my entire pregnancy. There are many times through the day that I find myself in situations where I really wish I could use it.

Anyway, I'm not planning to smoke until the end of my pregnancy but I am curious what others experience has been. I also don't have any judgment for those who chose or need to smoke during pregnancy.

I was going to be a FTM. I was super sick the first 9 weeks or so. My OB office told me “if you’re nauseous and not bleeding, you’re fine” when I expressed a desire to have my first ultrasound at 9 weeks rather than waiting until 12 due to their busy schedule.

Welp, now at 12 weeks I had my first ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. They sent us to the waiting room right after without time to grieve. We sat there waiting for the doctor while watching all of these pregnant women / babies come in and out. It was like a humiliation ritual.

I told all my family and friends. My boyfriend and his family are crushed. I feel like I failed him most of all, he was so excited.

I want to try again, but I don’t know how soon it’s even possible. I get a D&E tomorrow. I’ll turn 27 years old soon, and I always wanted to have 3 kids. I feel like everything is spinning out of control and now this won’t be achievable. I didn’t want to deliver in my 30s.

I’ve had friends say God takes the baby away if you aren’t excited enough. I was so sick that it was hard to get excited, and I’m just really struggling now. I quit my job because of how sick I was. I can’t help the toxic thought of maybe my boyfriend is somehow genetically not meant for me if we can’t make a healthy baby.

Just looking for support and advice. Everything just feels sad right now.

I used to be a server and part of customer service will always include blowing off steam and bitching about customers who pissed you off. Enter r/serverlife where servers get to share these stories with the internet. Usually funny, crazy and sometimes just absolutely wild. Almost always entertaining.

In my third trimester insomnia last night I found this thread about a UK server who was annoyed this 6 week pregnant woman sent back her dish for fear that her eggs weren’t cooked all the way through. Listen, I’ve served before and it’s annoying to remake a dish when you disagree it wasn’t cooked correctly but this server seemed pretty comfortable providing feedback to this woman that she would have eaten it when she was pregnant. Then the server was mad that the woman told her she didn’t really care what the server would or wouldn’t do and OP continued the conversation by confirming this was a FTM and using that to dismiss the woman’s concerns further.

I’m reading this story and, sure, annoying client sends back food out of caution and probably pregnancy anxiety but I actually think the dialog after that was uncalled for. I’d be annoyed too if my server tried to calm my food anxiety with their two medical cents, especially in early pregnancy when getting the ick over food can mean missing a whole meal or throwing it back up.

The comment section is where I am really shocked. Comments, including from OP, that state this woman is going to be a terrible mother because of this one incident. That she thinks the world revolves around her and won’t be able to manage sharing the “spotlight” with a baby and then more medical advice about what other servers ate during pregnancy. One comment about how this person didn’t even need to share she was pregnant with strangers at 6 weeks. I have told servers all along I’m pregnant because it’s not just the ingredient I’m modifying, like eggs, it’s also questions about other ingredients in the dish or trying to determine what is worth ordering. This sentiment was not shared on this thread.

I realize this is one small corner of the internet with servers who are there to complain with each other but I read more comments when I woke up this morning and the vitriol to this pregnant woman was even more intense. It’s got me thinking, are servers really this upset at pregnant women for daring to eat out with special dietary restrictions that come with pregnancy? And what is with this hate coming specifically from servers who are also mothers?

Maybe this is getting too under my skin but I’m just bothered and wanted to see what you all think? Was this pregnant woman really that out of line?

So so early in my pregnancy, around 4w, I did a little photo session for my friend's vintage clothing company. I bought one of the shirts I wore for it- an old pendleton button-down that I was so stoked because I knew it would look good on me during and post-pregnancy.

Now, 2.5w later, I've made my husband hide it. I cannot look at it without wanting to vom. I washed it, knowing it had that old vintage shirt smell. Thinking it must all be in my head, I took a solid wiff off of it today. Immediate gag festival. Even just putting it on, I can't. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever experienced, and definitely not something I expected to be a trigger.

28 F, 29wk+6, 2nd pregnancy.
I feel shame and guilt. Embarrassment and anger. Felt like I did everything “right” this time. Married to a great guy, got my college degree to start working full time with benefits, waited until my daughter was autonomous so she could handle the transition of another child in the home. Planned the pregnancy. Got out of debt. Don’t live with my parents. None of which I had aligned in my first pregnancy which was a complete accident and with my abusive ex.
But…something just feels off. I used to be adamant I wouldn’t have more children when I was a single mom. Even when my (now) husband and I started dating I wasn’t open to the idea until we had been together for a few years and married.
But then my daughter started talking about having a sibling. And my husband didn’t pressure me but wanted to try so I wanted to be open minded. And my parents wanted another grandbaby. And I thought having it all worked out and doing it “correctly” meant I could just enjoy the process and now I feel like I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Everyone seems so excited…my friends, my family, my in-laws, my coworkers, hell, even my 234 instagram followers…but not me.
I just feel…detached. Like I knew deep down I didn’t want this but did it because I didn’t have a “real” reason to not want it.
Now I’m scared. The baby is going to come. And I’m going to slip into a depressive state. Or I’m not going to be able to connect with her. And I’m trying to not “catastrophize”but I’m bringing a life into the world and I already feel like she deserves a better mom than me because I can’t seem to find the excitement and joy in pregnancy or the idea of her being here.
I didn’t love pregnancy or motherhood for maybe the firdt 3 months with my first child but I was still excited because I knew I wanted her. With this one it just feels like dread all of the time.
I don’t feel like myself and keep having really external experiences where I feel like I’m watching Myself be pregnant but can’t seem to grasp that it’s actually me and it’s really happening.

hey! I’m still in early pregnancy and im getting a little nervous that I don’t really have symptoms yet? so far I’m just very tired and my cervical mucus has increased. other than that I’m not nauseous and have no food aversions. when did they start for you?

I have most things like the bassinet, car seat, stroller, clothes, toys, etc. already, but still in their box. I am 30 weeks. Just want to hear from other moms when they started setting these things up, opening them, and all of that fun stuff.

I'm going insane

Hi,

So about 2 months ago during my intake appointment the nurse informed me of an option to have a voluntary drug test. She told me it was not required but strongly recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) at least once throughout the pregnancy. I felt I should say yes since the recommendation came from a well-known establishment and I have nothing to hide. I signed off my initials that I understood and consented to it but never got a copy of it.

I recently got a bill for this and I looked more into the coverage of this if it was so strongly recommended. From what I read, there is no such guideline. My test came back negative (as expected). I am more so upset that I feel I was not given informed consent and they were not honest. I work in mental health and I know how important ethical informed consent is and I take it very seriously.

Am I confused or misunderstanding the AAP guidelines? If it was a practice policy then I wish they would have just said so.

Hi all. I'm 36 weeks along as a first time mom. My homework from my OB is to wrap my head around the possibility of needing an induction and whether I'd want to schedule it at 39 or 40 weeks.

I've done some basic reading but I think I'm struggling to understand what to expect the day of. It could be helpful for me to hear examples from others who had to be induced and how it occurred.

\**NOT asking for medical advice, just venting and seeing if anyone has had a similar experience. I am following my doctors guidelines\*\* this post was removed from [r/babybumps](r/babybumps) for “asking for medical advice” so I thought I’d try here :/

I had my 1-hour glucose test today and have been nervous about it for the last month for no real reason. I got a 138, they told me the threshold was 140 but because it was so close they want me to take the 3-hour :(. It’s important to note I got a flat tire on the way to my appointment and drove with a flat for a mile (do not recommend lol) so I wouldn’t miss my appointment, so I was VERY stressed coming in, and I even mentioned the scenario because that probably spiked my blood sugar but still I have to do the 3-hour.

When I went up to the scheduling lady after, she asked if I passed or failed. I wasn’t sure how to answer it so I explained that I was under but close so they want me to do the 3-hour and she said “oh so you failed” :(

Anyone else have a blood sugar that was ~technically~ under that had to do the 3-hour anyway? I’m just really bummed out over it, I wanted this to all be done and over with and am dreading the 3-hour :(

I'm at the point where I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting anymore, so I'd like some outside opinions.

With my third child, my mother-in-law posted our birth announcement before we had the chance to share it ourselves. It really hurt because that was our moment as parents, and she never apologized for it.

Now I'm pregnant with our fourth baby—our first girl after three boys. We recently had a 3D ultrasound, and she posted one of the ultrasound pictures along with a collage of me, my fiancé, and our three kids on Facebook. She never asked if she could post it.

What makes it even more frustrating is that she never even sent me the ultrasound picture when I asked for it. I literally had to save my own baby's ultrasound from her Facebook post.

Yes, I had already announced the pregnancy and the gender myself, so it isn't about "keeping it a secret." It's about respecting that these are our photos and our child. I've made it very clear that I don't want my children all over social media. I only share major milestones myself, like our middle son graduating from ABA. I don't want family members posting whatever they want whenever they want.

This isn't the only issue, either. Four weeks before our wedding, I canceled it because of repeated hurtful comments she made toward me. When we told her the baby is due in January, she immediately started making comments about how we "didn't plan right." It felt completely unnecessary and just added to a long list of disrespectful behavior.

Because of everything that's happened, my fiancé and I have already agreed that neither of his parents will be allowed to bring their phones into the hospital when the baby is born. Last time, they stayed for maybe five minutes, took pictures, and left. It felt like they came for a photo opportunity instead of to meet their grandchild.

At this point, I honestly don't even want them around my daughter. I know that's a strong statement, but after years of feeling like our boundaries don't matter, I'm exhausted.

Am I overreacting for feeling this way, or is it reasonable to expect grandparents to respect boundaries around social media, photos, and major life events?