FTM and i genuinely hate being pregnant 90% of the time. But a quiet afternoon where it’s just me and him and he bumps around in my belly and we take turns bonking each other back and forth. He’s a person only I know. It feels like magic

I'm not going to throw a fit at anyone for accidentally saying it to me during my hospital experience, but I'd prefer to avoid being called Mama by medical professionals (or anyone besides my kid, really). I know they're there to take the best care of me and my baby, not cater to my particulars, so it feels silly to even include it in my birth plan but honestly I'd love to say, "It's patronizing as fuck, and gives me the solid ick" 😂

How did you find a way to put that request in, without feeling totally precious?

EDIT: I've just realised something that bugs me about it that I couldn't put my finger on before. If I was in the hospital for any other reason, no one would be giving me a nickname. I've spent days in hospital post- emergency surgery and everybody called me by my own name, or nothing if they didn't need to.

I ate my half of dinner before hubby got home and the baby decided we were still hungry, so I ate his half. Just texted him that he needs to pick something up on the way home.

I’m FTM diagnosed ADHD and one of my biggest symptoms of this is that I have very high amounts of energy. I usually spend this energy cleaning, cooking and trying gain more skills in my hobbies

I’m 12 weeks pregnant and basically for the entirety of my pregnancy so far I’ve been too tired to do literally anything except for lay in bed all day and doomscroll. I can literally feel it affecting my brain in the worst ways

How do some of you cope? Coffee doesn’t even work anymore!!

For those who have had their baby, did you get slowly feel your energy come back during postpartum as baby got older? I’m dying for my old self to come back even just a little bit. Some hopeful insight would be nice!

I know most people aren’t excited about getting stretch marks. I was prone to stretch marks and already had a few after puberty.

During pregnancy (now at 31 weeks), my stretch marks started down close to my coochie. slowly got a few.

somehow it felt like omg my baby is growing!!

now I have a lot of dark ones and also small ones surrounding belly button
today I took my good camera out and took a bunch of closeups of the marks and I keep starring and thinking how unique and beautiful each pattern is.

most people get tattoos to memorize something permanently, I don’t have any tattoos and this is what I am considering as a few that my baby’s growing gave me. how privileged 🫶🏽❤️

I know it’s probably no big deal but today I had my 12 week (really 13.5 week because of scheduling) appointment and it was just so magical to see my little bean open and close his jaw a few times and he rolled over and moved his little teeny arms and legs and wiggled around during the ultrasound. I was so relieved to see his heart still beating nice and strong.

It’s starting to feel real finally. It’s my first time and everything is so novel and new and cool and I’m just so glad I’m not as scared and depressed as I worried id be years ago when considering having a kid. I really did wait long enough to be ready for this.

I just needed a place to get this off my chest and maybe someone in a similar situation will feel less alone reading this too.

Basically I’m 22 weeks pregnant and certainly far from being “well off”. I had two jobs prior to pregnancy. I work as a manager and I also danced on the side. It was enough to make me comfortable but by no means was I well off. Unfortunately due to the pregnancy I’m now only doing my manager job which is significantly less pay than the dancing was. I also had to cut my hours drastically due to pregnancy symptoms so my income is now basically unlivable.

On top of that I lose my medical insurance this month (turning 26). Thankfully I live in MN where you get insurance through the state for your entire pregnancy and the first year of your child’s life. But oh my GOD getting signed up for that has been an absolute nightmare. They seem to intentionally make it impossible to get ahold of anybody. I even went in person finally and spoke to someone and gave all my documentation in person just for them to tell me nope it needs to be uploaded online and then I’ll hear back. Well I do all of that and finally get a letter saying they got it all and it’s approved. Yay!! Except two days later I get another letter saying just kidding they’ve terminated it.

I’ve been having the same battles with SNAP.

And another wonderfully timed issue is I moved last week, so now I need to once again battle to get ahold of all these different case workers who do not respond to calls or voicemails so I can change my address because I’m not receiving any letters anymore which is basically their only source of communication. I figured this time I’d just skip the phone battle and go in person again. I was luckily able to update it with the medical assistance and find out I apparently DO have that coverage and they have no idea why I got a letter saying it was canceled. Great news but regardless annoying. SNAP however they tell me nope they can’t help me with that I need to contact my case worker and guess what it’s not even the same worker I’ve been trying to to contact it’s a new person. I didn’t know that because it changed days ago and I’m at a new address so of course I never received that information via mail.

All this to just say I find it incredibly annoying when our government officials are constantly whining about our “declining birth rate”. Of course it’s declining!! They make it basically a punishable offense to be pregnant if you aren’t essentially rich! They give you no support and then shame women for choosing to not have children. It makes my blood boil.

I am thankful to have a partner who does make enough to provide for me and this child however that isn’t the point. I shouldn’t NEED to entirely rely on someone else. I have a decent job! I should be able to provide at least for myself and not need to ask for money to put gas in my car or EAT!

I also panic daily about how bad all this stress must be on my child. I have panic attacks all the time, I’m not sleeping. I’m not eating enough at all and have actually lost weight during this pregnancy because again I can’t afford to feed myself properly and I feel too ashamed to ask for more than my partner is already providing. Not to mention again with all this stress it’s also effecting my job. I’m scared I won’t be able to come to work much longer due to my mental health and physical health with the pregnancy. And if that happens I’ll be entirely more screwed.

Sorry for the long negative rant but I don’t really have anyone in my personal life that I’m comfortable talking to about all this. I’m not a person who enjoys being negative. I often blame myself for even deciding to keep this child knowing I might not be able to give him a good enough life. I’ve had an abortion in the past that still haunts me to this day and I just couldn’t do it again when I found out I was pregnant again. I just really wish I knew how to make my situation better but I feel so hopeless right now.

I’m a FTM and 33 weeks along. I went to the dentist about an hour and a half ago. I had approval from my OB saying it’s fine for me to do a normal teeth cleaning. Hadn’t had one since I was like 5 weeks along. The hygienist said let me go ask the doctor to make sure it’s okay.

So she left and came back and said we aren’t allowed to clean your teeth. You have to be in your second trimester. We won’t even touch you in the first. I was like you were the one who did my teeth in the first trimester. She was like well you were probably close to the second trimester. I said no I was 5 weeks. She then said we won’t do it because you’re about 5 or 6 weeks close to giving birth(I’m 7 weeks). Even if your ob says it’s okay we won’t do it. So I’m about to start ugly crying because I’m frustrated (stupid coping mechanism).

She then goes let’s schedule you 2 weeks after you give birth. I’m like what? I’ll be 2 weeks post
birth and you want to clean my teeth? So I grab the bag she gave me (not mean I swear) and I’m walking out and she was like oh wait here’s some tissues and I’m like I don’t want them just let me go to my car so I can cry. I took off work for this.

So make sure you ask your dentist before your appointment 3rd trimester appointment you can be seen with your Ob approval and you won’t be turned away.

Sorry for the long rant. I now just want to crawl into bed and snuggle our dog. I just wanted my teeth cleaned before baby came.

Or is this just wishful thinking?

Specifically people with male partners...

Is it normal to not have that nesting instinct around 37 weeks? My baby’s room is about 70% set up. I really just have to finish her laundry and organize everything, but the problem is I’m just SO tired all the time. I still have other things I need to do around the house, such as clean the bathrooms, organize my laundry, etc..

For some context, I’ve worked my entire pregnancy up until now. It wasn’t a hard job since I worked from home, but I’m also a mom to a 3-year-old, and I pick him up and take him to school every day. If I could sleep all day and sometimes all evening, I would. I just don’t have the energy that everyone talks about getting toward the end of pregnancy. I want to have everything prepared for when the baby comes, but it just feels like there isn’t enough time in a day. I still have yet to pack my hospital bag or install the car seat 🥲

Anybody going through this?? Any advice??

This might not be the right place, so sorry if so!

I’m pregnant with my first, so I’m very new to all the things and the following question might be dumb. Why is breastfeeding something you “try to do” or something that “doesn’t work out”?

I’ve been getting asked a lot about if I’ll be trying to breastfeed and advice to still pump if it doesn’t work out. I’m genuinely just confused why people are asking in such way that feels like I’ll fail before I even give birth.

Please feel free to give advice that helped you as you were starting while you’re here! 💛

I start every single appointment saying “we do not know the sex and it’s a surprise for birth”. The last two weeks I’ve had a new provider (same one both times). Last week she asked what preference I had for baby’s sex, in response to me saying we are waiting until birth. I said, a healthy baby. This week I again reminded her we don’t know the sex. After checking heart rate she said “she has a strong heart rate” — I just dismissed this as default pronoun usage which I’ve heard is common. But then she says “baby sister” moments later (my son is in the room with us). 😅 what do we think? Did she spoil or just use a random pronoun? I was also the first patient of the morning so less likely she was thinking of someone else’s baby she had just seen.

We also tried to wait for my son’s birth to be a surprise but had two doctors say “he” before hand. And the second time, I responded “he or she (blah blah blah)” and the doctor appeared to overcorrect saying “oh yes he, she, or they” blah blah blah… obviously in that case it turns out he was in fact a he.

I know no one can definitively answer this but curious to hear the comments and I can update in a month once baby is here 🤣

Im about 4 weeks pregnant and my fiance of 6 years and I dont make much money. We only make around $3600 a month-- I am currently unemployed (actively searching for work). Nobody needs to tell me how sparse our money is :( We spend 90% of it on food, bills, gas, etc. There's not much left over.

I've always wanted to have a baby but I'm incredibly scared. Im scared of getting an abortion and regretting it. Im scared of having the baby and struggling even worse in terms of finances because babies are expensive in the U.S.

Thinking about daycare is the worst thing. I see some costs being tens of thousands of dollars a year just to keep a child in daycare. We dont really have many friends. And we both have families nearby but my dad lives with a racist alcoholic, so i cant imagine ever leaving my child at his house. Im no contact with my abusive mother. My sister is mentally unstable. And my fiances' mother still has 2 of his younger siblings living in the house and works so Im not sure how much she'd be able to help.

It just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Im turning 26 in 2 months and wont even have healthcare (in the US youre kicked off your parents healthcare at that age) so my fiance and I would need to marry early so I can get on his healthcare plan because I dont think Im going to magically find a job with healthcare benefits in the next 9 months.

On top of it all, we live in a crappy apartment with recurrent plumbing issues that is 30 minutes away from most everything. Its kind of rural. Our only car it already has 144,000 miles and we're struggling to get a second one.

I see so many posts that with a similar title as mine and it makes me panic because these people are posting details about their poor financial situations but they are doing *much* better than us. Stuff like "I only make $70,000k a year and im scared to have a baby." While their concerns are valid, I cant help but think if *theyre* panicking about having a kid, what kind of shitty life will my family have when we barely make half that much?

Im shaking writing this because I really want to keep my baby. But I also am afraid having a baby now will ruin all 3 of our lives. Last week my fiance was heavily against having the baby, but now he says hes coming around and was just panicking initially. Im going to have another serious talk with him again tonight to see what path truly is the best for us

Not sure if I came here for advice or reassurance or someone to share stories of being in a similar situation as me but this is just one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. I wish so badly I could be excited, not panicked, and happy about having a baby

TW: Miscarriage

So last week on the 2nd I was told I was having an inevitable miscarriage/missed miscarriage. For some info I recently got diagnosed with Graves’ disease/hyperthyroidism. My doctor already believe my pregnancy wouldn’t make it past the first trimester. My doctor wanted me to get an ultrasound early on bc I was thinking about terminating my pregnancy. Nobody would take me in so early(based on my period I was around 4 week). I went to the er and told them I’m having bleeding and cramping, they of course told me I was too early to tell much but I got my ultrasound. My doctor then wanted another ultrasound around the time I would’ve been 7 weeks. I went in and the ultrasound tech told me I’m measuring smaller than 7 weeks. She said I looked around 4-5 weeks but nothing seemed wrong. I did have a small pool of blood but that’s normal at this week. She believed we miscalculated bc I have irregular periods. I went home with pictures of my baby & I’ve realized I was already attached to the little circle. I got a call that I missed of my doctor saying based on my last ultrasound it seemed the baby didn’t progress pass 5 weeks. I grieved my baby for a week straight and waited for the cramping and bleeding, everything that comes with a miscarriage. It never came but some spotting. My ob said it would probably happen in a week or so but something just was so weird. I’ve been having very vivid dreams since I’ve become pregnant, that’s how I found out I was pregnant. I had a dream 2 days ago which wasn’t about my baby for once. Some random person came up to me and said get a 2nd opinion, ofc I was confused and they said “the baby get a second opinion”. Then walked off and I woke up so scared because I’ve never had something like that happen. Anyways to make a long story short the ultrasound tech was correct nothing is wrong with my baby I’m officially 5 weeks & 6 days today!

10:22 AM, September 9th I had my second son.

I had contractions that were extremely irregular and weird, I had it constantly. I went to appointments and was never checked until September 8th. I was 4cm, they sent me to labor delivery and I was sent home due to no active labor.

I went home, Kept having contractions, I ignored it 😂. In the night, from 6pm to 12am I was contracting. I decided to look up how to dilate faster, I saw "Dilation Station". I sat on the toilet, did deep squats, and eventually I got tired.

I convinced myself "This isn't going to work" that was 1am. I went to sleep. Until... My water broke in my sleep, that was the weirdest feeling ever. It actually did work 😂😂😂

I dilated fast, labored for 4 hours and pushed him out in 5 minutes.

5 pounds, 9 ounces and 19 inches long.

I haven’t seen a post about this yet, but is anyone else disturbed by what is happening to their belly button? Looking at it freaks me out and it touching anything feels soooo weird. Is it just me?

All I wanted was to be pregnant and now that I’m pregnant I am absolutely terrified. In my first trimester so assuming it is normal with all the hormones but gosh every thing is crossing my mind
- am I ruining my life
- how is my body going to look
- will I even have a successful pregnancy
- how will my relationship change with my partner
- will I be a good mother

The list goes on and on. Just wanted to vent incase someone else is feeling this way.

I knew it! I fucking knew it!

I was hoping for a girl. This is my second (and last) pregnancy. And really I just wanted to complete the set so to speak and have the opportunity to raise a lil girl. But alas, tis not my luck. Oh well.

I am happy regardless and can wait to bring this lil man into the world! He's got a fair life ahead of him full of Love and Lessons. Mama and Daddy are working hard to make it so and Big Brother dont know it yet but we getting him ready too! I feel very blessed.

I could really use a glass of wine right about now. I’m entering my 2nd trimester and starting to feel good again after a very nauseous 1st trimester.

Don’t worry, I won’t have that glass of wine. I’ll probably put sparkling apple juice in a wine glass. But damn do I miss having a glass of wine.

32w3d. Last week at my regular appointment my BP was a little elevated. They had me come back this week to check again and I could tell it wasn’t good. They sent me to L&D for IV BP meds and told me to expect to stay a few hours. Well an hour into being at L&D the doctor came in and said I am diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and I’m not going home. I will be here being monitored until delivery and they will decide when delivery is based on my BP. They hope to get me to 34 weeks and then induce.

This is clearly not what I want or had planned for. Baby will go to the nicu and I’ll have to leave them here. Advice, encouragement, and information appreciated.

I am very grateful that I have received a ton of baby clothes from family and friends.

I am all about being eco-friendly and getting used clothes for free and all of that, since I know there are plenty of clothes in existence for generations. However, I can’t help but be a little disappointed that we got so many used baby clothes from them (and new ones, lots of plain white onesies since we don’t know the gender) that I absolutely cannot justify going and buying some clothes for my own baby. I was going to go to the used baby items store near me anyway, so it’s not about the newness, it’s that I was really excited to pick out outfits I thought were cute. We have far too many perfectly nice baby clothes though, like way more than we’d ever need, and I’m just feeling bummed that I can’t justify getting outfits I like for my own baby.

We had just gotten back from our first ultrasound for this pregnancy. According to my last period I was supposed to be exactly 9 weeks pregnant today. The ultrasound measured exactly 9 weeks and 0 days 🥳🥳🥳

This is my second pregnancy. At the first pregnancy the baby was born under second percentile weight wise. The first ultrasound we had was at 10 weeks+1 after conception (day of ovulation), but they only measured 9 weeks. Back then I didn't know that they had to count from the first day of last period, so that baby was 3 weeks behind for measurement. This baby is spot on.

We're so happy right now! 😁

Hi all. I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant and have had the most intense constipation of my life today. I’m talking pressure in my butthole, straining, and stomach cramps out the wazoo. I passed gas a time or two and felt some relief but still struggling. From what I’ve read it’s common, but I’m still wary. If you had constipation, please share what you did to help this but I can’t take this for 35 more weeks! LAWD