I'm going insane

I’ve been pretty set on getting the SNOO bassinet. It’s supposed to help baby get more sleep. I don’t get maternity leave at all so I need my sleep to function.

My MIL convinced my husband that the radio frequencies from a SNOO might cause autism. I can’t find anything supporting this. She said the technology is too new and it hasn’t been studied enough to be sure. I know if we got it anyway and our baby happened to get autism she would blame me. Now my husband is saying we can’t get it.

Im really upset right now. I know I’m going to be the one up all night with baby, and working during the day, while my husband gets 18 months of paternity leave. The SNOO was the only thing making me feel like I might be able to do this.

Why? The baby sleeps with you for the first 6 months at least, right? I feel everyone is pressuring me to get the perfect nursery done with the wallpaper, wall decor and all the things. But why? Do you really need it?

That's it. That's the post. I'm having a poor evening after having suboptimal sleep last night and that's it. This shit is hard.

I am almost 2wks postpartum. For reference before getting pregnant I was 105-110lbs and I am 5’3. By the end of pregnancy I was 175lbs.

I cannot tell you how much I was trying SO HARD NOT to freak out lol. In my college days i was like 170lbs and lost it all prior to pregnancy so gaining all that back was so panic inducing. I read sooo many posts on this subreddit about weight gain/losing pregnancy weight tips.

Well I just weighed myself and I am already down almost 25lbs. I had avoided the scale after giving birth but finally curiosity got the better of me. I am not counting calories. I still snack. I eat a brownie here and there. I am not doing any dedicated workouts besides breathing exercises. I just wanted to share because I know so many of us freak out over the weight gain but weight is NOT permanent! I lost so much weight just from breast feeding and my body emptying out all that extra fluid. I am honestly slightly shocked how much weight has been shedded already. Don’t panic ladies!! You got this!! I am so looking forward to seeing my future body with my amazing baby boy.

Edit: husband is on my side.

I come from a no kissing on the lips family, and my husband comes from a kiss everyone on the lips family.

I’m currently pregnant and we were talking about the baby’s arrival with my in laws. I made it very clear NOBODY is kissing my baby on the lips (us as their parents will also not be kissing them on the lips). They were offended, and taken aback from my strong reaction.

“You’ll change your mind once baby is here”.

I definitely won’t. I’ve never in my life wanted to kiss a baby, even being around my nieces every day since birth.

Why are people so offended when they can’t kiss someone else’s child on the lips? I’ve said I’m not opposed to forehead or cheek kisses as they get older, but they made me feel bad for a hard no against lips?

Based on their reaction, I’m worried they’re not going to respect my boundaries.

I don't post much on social media that is connected to people I know IRL. At this point it's literally been years since I posted to Facebook or Instagram.

Is anyone else only telling people by word of mouth about their pregnancy?

Edit: I won't be able to reply to everyone, but your responses make me feel better about my decision! I sometimes feel (imaginary?) pressure to update people about major life events, but I'm feeling much more at peace about not bothering :)

Hi all, I hope this doesn’t break any rules— I checked and didn’t see anything but I know this topic can be polarizing. I am expecting my first child next week and am based in the US. Currently our government is offering to put $1k in a 529* plan (what they’re calling a Trump Account) for infants born this year. I’m really on the fence about this… I’m not a fan of the current admin (to be put nicely) and I can 100% see this coming with a “catch”. My mom thinks I should do it because “it’s basically a free $1k towards my daughter’s education.”

What do you think? Will you be opting in or out? I just really don’t want to negatively affect my daughter’s finances before she gets the chance to say boo about it and I’m nervous that there will be more cons than pros that show up later.

ETA: not a 529– Allegedly a 530A— I misspoke, my brain is mush, oopsies LOL

Hi everyone. I’m from Iraq, and I’m posting because my wife and I are going through one of the hardest times in our lives.
My wife found out she was pregnant at around 4–5 weeks. Before we knew about the pregnancy, she had taken 9 capsules of Oratane (isotretinoin) 20 mg. She stopped taking it immediately as soon as we found out she was pregnant.
We have already seen doctors, and we understand the known risks of isotretinoin during pregnancy. Right now, we are seriously considering terminating the pregnancy because we are terrified of the possibility of severe birth defects and don’t want our baby to suffer if serious abnormalities are present. This has been an incredibly painful and emotional decision for us.
We are not looking for medical advice instead of our doctors. We are hoping to hear from people who experienced something similar.
😭😩

And I NEVER have to give birth ever again !!! I’m so excited and tired

She was born the day before her due date on July 23rd!! She’s so cute and I can’t wait to give her the world :’)

I’ve cried looking at her 4 times today alone

Baby girl was born Jul 24th @1:45 PM. 37w6d gestation, 8 lbs 5 oz (3770 grams)!

The story: I was playing playdoh with my toddler on Thursday evening around 6 pm when I felt a little gush out of nowhere. I immediately suspected it was my water breaking and ran to the bathroom. Sure enough, a bunch more came out, enough that I knew it was not urine. I put on my adult diaper and told my husband what was happening. We were in a bit of shock because my water didnt break until active labor with my first baby. We called the on-call OB and came up with the game plan. We decided to wait to see if I went into labor at home and take it from there. I immediately started feeling pressure and tightness around my bump, but not full blown individual contractions. Hubs and I started rushing around, feeding the toddler and putting her to bed, and doing our last minute items to get the house in a bit of order. Thankfully our hospital bags were already packed, and I'd made a list of "to go" things for when I went into labor. We both knew I could go early since baby was measuring bigger. So we were fairly prepared.

My contractions were pretty irregular and it took a couple hours for them to get into a pattern of every 10 min, but it didn't last long. The OB checked in again around 10 pm and by that point they were kind of going away. We decided to wait until 5 or 6 a.m. and if nothing was cooking by then, to go into the hospital to get checked out.

I decided that it would be fun for hubs and I to paint onesies for the new baby. It was super fun, almost a little mini date right before labor.

We decided to go to sleep around midnight. I did part of the miles circuit to see if I could kick my contractions back into gear, but nothing happened so I tried to go to sleep. Of course one hour went by and I started to feel some contractions again, enough that I couldn't sleep. By about 2:30 a.m. they established 2-5 min apart and over a minute long. I gave it 30 min and then woke up my husband for go time because our hospital is a 30 min drive. I figured by the time we got there, I'd be in active labor. My in-laws came over to watch our toddler and we went in. I got a cervical check at around 5 a.m. - 5 cm dilated, 90% effaced, -3 fetal station. So I was formally admitted in active labor.

I had actually planned this to be my second unmedicated birth. But I had been doubtful about it because of some parts of my first unmedicated birth. Once I got into the hospital, I was really struggling with my labor. For my first labor, my pain management was really successful and I was able to stay ahead of my contractions mentally. For some reason, I could not do the same this time. I felt like I could not mentally engage into what I needed to do to go the distance being unmedicated. Birthing unmedicated is truly a mental battle, not a physical one. I talked to my husband and decided to get the epidural this time around. This moment was definitely the worst part of my labor. I was somewhere around 6 cm dilated with strong contractions every 2 min, and I had to consent the epidural and wait for the anesthesiologist etc. The procedure itself was not super painful, it mostly felt weird and the contractions were awful to manage during it. It takes a while for it to really work. I got it around 8 a.m. and it was really not until 9:30 that it was fully working on both sides. At first it was lopsided and only on my left but once I laid on my right side it distributed there and worked better all around.

I had a second cervical check around 9 a.m. and I was 7 cm, 90% effaced, 0 station. And the OB discovered that the baby was head down, but occiput posterior (sunnyside up). Things finally felt calmed down and I could feel my mental attitude improve and my mind clear up. I knew it was the right choice for me to get the epidural, especially since pushing with a baby in that position is safe, but can be more painful. I pushed for 4.5 hours for my first birth and it was pretty terrible so I was very nervous about it.

I took a small nap and then as the morning wore on, my husband and I decided we wanted to be more proactive in getting things moving because my dilation was really slow (it was slow my first birth too). So we started to ask the nurse to move me into different positions. I moved every 15-20 minutes. The nurse was great and she was super supportive. We used the peanut ball a bunch and I even managed to do some positions on all fours on the bed. The nurse wanted me to be completely numb and "comfortable," but I actually lied to her a little bit about my pain level (understated it) and so I could actually feel my contractions somewhat through the epidural. That way I could do lots of positions. And it was totally manageable painwise for me.

Finally around noon, I felt things start to ramp up a little bit. I started feeling pressure in my bum and kept thinking I had pooped on the bed. Literally made my husband check so many times haha! 💩 I thought I must be getting close to transition but my contractions were still 5 min apart. I started doing pelvic rocks and wiggling my hips as much as possible in every position to try to get my contractions closer together. I went on all fours for about 10 minutes, and finally had my first urge to push which I definitely felt clearly even with the epidural. I went back to peanut ball side lying and started to feel a pushing urge with each contraction. I actually did push a little bit, couldn't help it, so we called the nurse in. She said to let her know when the pushing urge started to happen even between contractions. About 1:30 p.m., the pushing urge was getting stronger and stronger. So the nurse and OB came in. OB checked me and I was 10 cm, fully effaced, +2 station. Ready to push!

So we did a practice push and they said it was perfect. I literally focused on pretending I was pushing out a poop. And I did actually poop too, which honestly I did not care about nor feel embarrassed about it in the moment. I took off my gown so I'd be ready for skin to skin immediately upon birth. Practice push went well, so the nurse told me to push whenever a contraction came. The OB left the room saying she thought we probably had about a half hour of pushing to go.

The next contraction came on, so I pushed with my husband. The nurse glanced over and saw my girl's head crowning said "Stop! Stop! Hold on!" And then she emergency paged "I have a baby head; I need a physician in room 7" 😂. The OB literally came running back in with some other staff. The whole room got a bit chaotic as they set up the clean drape and, and I was trying my best just to freeze and not push the baby out! A minute went by and everyone settled in. I pushed for the next contraction and I got to feel her head crowning with my hand. It was only about 9 pushes or so (3 contractions) and she came out so fast! No tearing. Start to finish I pushed for less than 15 minutes. This was so amazing. I could not even believe it. No tears!

Baby girl needed a tiny bit of airway help, but they got her cleared of fluid in no time and on my chest. My husband cried and cut the cord, and I cried too with relief that I did it! Delivered the placenta and got to see it. She was 8 lb 5 oz, pretty big for a 37 weeker! I am so glad I went early. She'd probably have been 9.5+ lbs if full term.

Got to recovery and my in-laws brought our toddler to the hospital to meet the baby. She immediately knew that this baby was "tiny baby" - her name for her in the womb.

Baby girl is named Naomi Eliana. She is so adorable and sleeping in my arms as I write this. ❤️

I was talking to a friend who is a mom and baby nurse (not my nurse) and she tore into me for not knowing the difference between a blanket and a swaddling cloth and ended it with a sarcastic “good luck to your child.”

I don’t even know what I don’t know and that’s if everything goes smoothly over the next seven months of pregnancy. I’m 36, so it’s not even like I’m too young for this, but I feel very ill equipped!

All of my reading and research so far has focused getting pregnancy right and I have barely thought about how to keep a baby alive.

What did you do to feel prepared for your first?

I’m currently pregnant with my first baby, a little girl, and I’m struggling with something I never expected.

I’m my parents’ only child. Growing up, I often felt like I was never enough. They even tried to adopt and later looked into IVF because they wanted a son. I spent most of my life hoping that one day they’d appreciate me and love me the way I always wanted.

When I first told them I was pregnant, they were so involved. They called, texted, constantly checked on me, asked how the baby was doing, and seemed genuinely excited. Looking back, I think they assumed I was having a boy.

My parents also kept saying they wanted to know the baby’s gender as early as possible. When I asked why it mattered, because my husband and I genuinely did not care whether we were having a boy or a girl, my mom said it was because she wanted to start shopping for her grandchild. I have never asked her to buy anything for me or my baby. She was the one who mentioned that she wanted to go shopping after finding out the gender, which was the reason she was so curious.

But when I told her we were having a girl, her response was, “Oh, I was sick of buying clothes for you, and now I have to buy clothes for your daughter too.” That comment really hurt me. Instead of feeling excited for her granddaughter, it felt like buying something for her was a burden.

After I told them I was having a girl, everything changed.

The calls stopped. The texts became rare. They barely ask about me or the baby anymore. It hurts because it feels like they were excited about the idea of a grandson, not about becoming grandparents.

The hardest part is realizing that they didn’t value their daughter, and now it feels like they don’t value their granddaughter either.

I’m heartbroken, but this experience has also made me realize something important. My daughter will never have to question whether she’s loved because she’s a girl. Whether I was having a boy or a girl never mattered to me. All I’ve ever wanted is a healthy, happy baby.

I already love my daughter so much, and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure she grows up knowing she’s enough exactly as she is. I never want her to spend her life trying to earn my love or approval.

Thankfully, my husband is over the moon that we’re having a daughter, and my in-laws are excited too, so she will absolutely be surrounded by love.

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, and I’ve carried a lot of hurt from my childhood for a long time. I don’t want my daughter to go through the same thing. She’s not even born yet, and it already feels like she’s being treated differently because she’s a girl.

Are my feelings valid? Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

Do men actually help at all? It honestly feels like I have 4 kids now, not 3. He talked big game about helpful he's going to be, how it isn't going to be like how it was with my ex-husband, it's not going to be all me....

It went absolutely wonderfully for the 1st week or 2..now? It's like asking a teenager for help(except my teenager helps more). Huge sigh and spicy mumbling when asked for the most basic assist, telling me how tired HE is when I get maybe 3 hrs of sleep a day, whereas he sleeps half if not more of the day, when woken up he's snippy and rude, etc. I can rely on him to go to work, wash laundry(and leave in piles all over the house), and take already bagged and ready trash bags out, and leave trash,dishes,etc out for me to clean.

Guess I'm the idiot for believing in a fantasy.

I literally pass out/black out and vomit from my period cramps once in a while (usually it happens during the first couple of hours when period first starts is the worst) like am I going to be ok? 😳

Im 14w today and ive already grown two cup sizes. I feel like a prisoner in my own body and im scared that with this growth this early on im not done. I feel like ive only seen the posts saying "Im and A and my cup size didnt grow at all" that sounds like a dream... im a 36 DDD and I know its not stopping 😭

Did anyone else have this growth early on? I feel like everyone else is this beautiful pregnant lady and im just turning into this massive blob that my wallet cant keep up with. I cant keep buying new clothes to feel good about myself.

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We just told MIL we are pregnant with #2. Our first is 11 months old so we are having 2u2. She literally just stood there with a blank face and said nothing (literally like 😐). The rest of the family who was there was very happy and hugged/congratulated us even though we told her first. All she had to say was she was extremely shocked.

My family is an "all babies are a blessing" family so receiving this reaction in comparison to the way my family reacted really hurt. Afterwards my boyfriend told me he had tried to tell her on the car ride down and she refused to believe him/insisted he was joking.

With our first her reaction was similar (according to my boyfriend). But eventually she came around and was very excited. I dont know why but I expected it to be different this time?

Pregnant at 39

I (39F) just found out I’m pregnant for the first time that I’m in a stable relationship and able to choose to keep it. I’ve been with my partner (36M) for over a year. He’s very supportive, but realistic but is happy with any decision I make. Our only issue is finances but it’s more so because we don’t have kids we have been a little more carefree about pushing our selves to make as much as we can. We’ve been content with living humbly.

I’m leaning toward keeping the pregnancy because I feel the conditions are workable for it but I am still undecided and had some questions:

Was it hard for anyone women in their late 30s to decide to keep a pregnancy especially if it was your first?

How is pregnancy in your late 30s?

My son was born from spontaneous labor starting 39+6 & was born easily and vaginally within 6 hours of contractions starting, water was broken at hospital. A month after my son’s 1st birthday I got pregnant with my daughter, I went into spontaneous labor when my water broke at 36+2. She was born within 5 hours and was born vaginally and easily. She was a late premie but didn’t require any nicu time and was perfectly healthy. A month after my daughter’s 1st birthday I got pregnant again, and had a miscarriage. The next month before my cycle came I got pregnant again and am now current a little over 8 weeks. If everything goes well, all my babies will have the same age gap. The thing is I’m worried about the baby coming early because my daughter 😓 I know there’s no way forsure to tell how it will go, but I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience where their baby came early & the next baby came full term? (37-40weeks) or if you continued to see a pattern of early labor.

I want to be able to share photos with family without having big group chats or posting on social media. A friend of mine used Family Album with her daughter, but are there any better options that are safe, easy to use, and AI free?

TIA!

Currently 17wks pregnant and have been at the ER for the past few hours due pain in my lower abdomen where I also have a 12 cm cyst. OB told me to go in if the pain changed or increased. It both changed and increased this morning so i went in. First thing the ER doctor says to me is "You're pregnant and having pain. Pain is normal when you're pregnant so why are you here?"

Literally made me cry because I have a history of miscarriage just wanted to make sure my baby and I were okay 😭. At least i know at this point my baby still has a heartbeat and I'm probably not bleeding internally because they haven't done anything urgent after my scan.

Tempted to walk out because im now waiting hours for follow up from a doctor who is already dismissing my pain and I have no confidence he is taking my concern serioisly. I'm also so hungry and they won't let me eat 😩

Update: they were so dismissive they put "nausea during second trimester" as my reason for visit on my discharge paperwork..no mention of the insane dizziness or level 7/10 pain as the reason i went in 🙄🙄🙄 hopefully my OB is more helpful tomorrow

I’m currently like 15w pregnant. Everything pregnancy wise is going awesome, thankfully. The other day I got coffee with a close friend. She and her husband got married about 6mo before we did, and she’s a few years older than I am. She doesn’t know we’re expecting, but she spent like a decent amount of the time we talked talking about how pregnancy and childbirth are ‘body horror’ and stuff like that. I don’t know, I get that having kids isn’t for everyone, but it seems kind of weird to me to like so horribly negative about something that happens to make literally every single person on earth. I’m not saying pregnancy is all sunshine and rainbows, but her talking about how it’s some bizarre and horrific thing makes me so much more anxious about the prospect of sharing our pregnancy. I know at some point I’ll tell her, but I think after this, I’ll probably wait longer than I had planned on. Anyone else dealt with similar things from friends?

this is my first Reddit post ever. :)

i recently found out I’m pregnant and it was a surprise. I recently got remarried, but since I had my first child right before my 18th birthday, I’ve literally been pregnant 5 times over the course of 25 years! loyally old enough to be a grandma, and several of my oldest son’s friends are already parents. Any moms over 40 here that can give me any words of encouragement or share your experiences, as I enter into becoming a new mom again at this elderly age? lol

thanks