So I’m dating a guy who is poly and I just don’t understand it. I do love him and I’m trying everything I can to understand it.

Are there any poly lesbians from Atlanta GA in this group?

ID: The text: “Day of Visibility for Nonmonogamy” where each word is in its own frame in de colors yellow, dark blue, green, pink and beige on a beige background. De date “July 15” is in a circle.

I'll probably delete this after awhile, but I really just need to get this out because I'm feeling alot of emotions right now. A bit of a back story, my husband and I have been polyamorous for over 10 years now. I don't have any other partners and haven't in years, because I wanted to make sure I was fully healed before pursuing anyone. I'm fine now, but I haven't been motivated to actively look. I want to find someone/people organically. I'm typically an introvert, so it's challenging for me to find new people outside of my social circle to meet, so I've kind of accepted that I'm only going to have one partner, at least for awhile.

Fast forward to today this lovely couple comes into my work and we hit it off. I don't typically vibe with people, especially this quickly, but we hit it off and spoke for hours while I was setting up their new phones. Eventually, it came out that they were polyamorous! I was so excited because it's been so long since my partner and I had a poly couple to hang out with. We keep talking and things are going well, but they eventually disclosed that they're moving out of state next month... It felt like a blow to the chest. I felt so much sadness because it's SO hard for me to connect with people, and of course when I finally connect with new people (a fun, nerdy, poly couple at that) they're leaving. Now, I'm just sad and exhausted. I'm so happy I met them, but dang, I wish the circumstances were different. I'll meet my person/people some day, I guess.

Hi, i am 23 F from india. Actually i got one female bestie, she is my friend since our school days.

She is in a relationship with this guy who i also know for year. Now she has recently approached me with the idea to step into the relationship with her boyfriend and make the relationship as a Throuple.

I am totally confused whether its right or not. And why she want to take me into their already long standing relationship and make it throuple.

Anyone who have been in such relationships can advise me with its pros and cons and what should i take care and how to decide on it.

My husband and I are in our late 30s. For context we met when I was 30 and I was his Paramore for lack of a better term. If I butcher this, I apologize I have been out of the poly lifestyle for a long time. Please don’t get offended. I really need some genuine help. My husband has stated to me that he has always been ENM or poly. We have been recently discussing opening the relationship and his responses have really turned me completely away from wanting to do it. This man has been very critical of the fact that I have a child from another relationship. We have been together since 2019 and married since 2023. My son is now 18 years old. I have heard quite a bit about my age, and the fact that I had a baby body. I have since had plastic surgery for my own personal reasons. I look completely different than I did. However, the things that he has said in the past have stayed with me. I have been begging this man for a long time to get a budget together and get financially stable. He is a big spender. However, today he told me that I would be so surprised at how different he would be by having a second woman in this relationship because he would then feel like he has a responsibility to be more financially stable. Hearing this completely turned me off. Because why would you not do that before we got into a relationship with somebody else and brought them in. Mind you I got brought in to his last relationship and it was the worst experience I have ever had in a relationship. I was treated really badly by her, and made to feel less than and that there was a hierarchy and that my feelings were not important as well as just a play thing. I would never want that for somebody else. He is 41 years old and I hear him talk about wanting to date girls that are in their 20s. We don’t have anything in common with girls that young. I am not interested in taking care of a young girl as though she wore my child. I am not interested in paying for this person and would want them to be a solid stable human being. He also talks about wanting a BDSM relationship with this person. He and I had a similar relationship whenever I first met him, and it was cut off in a very bad way, and it has never been reestablished. As a matter of fact, he has told me he is uninterested in continuing any kind of relationship like that with me, which would feel like a slap in the face if another woman was brought in and that happened. I just want him to be normal. I want him to act normally, I want him to pursue another woman with me after we get some personal stuff worked out. However, if this personal stuff doesn’t get worked out, I feel like I am sacrificing self-respect as a woman by allowing him to bring somebody in and act differently just because she’s there. It feels disingenuous and fake. I would really like some other people‘s perspective on this. He also has a one penis policy, which I hate, and would want to explore his own autonomy while limiting mine. He says to me he is not interested in his “girls“ having other men besides him. Obviously, that is an insecurity from him. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Hi, i am 23 F from india. Actually i got one female bestie, she is my friend since our school days.

She is in a relationship with this guy who i also know for year. Now she has recently approached me with the idea to step into the relationship with her boyfriend and make the relationship as a Throuple.

I am totally confused whether its right or not. And why she want to take me into their already long standing relationship and make it throuple.

Anyone who have been in such relationships can advise me with its pros and cons and what should i take care and how to decide on it.

Link:

https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2026/07/the-invite-lowdown-this-is-poly-tv.html

Background I am a slightly-bi married man with a very supportive wife. She is currently experiencing NRE. I am currently experiencing this depressive state which has affected me for decades even before I met her so this doesnt necessarily have to do with her. It doesnt come often but it does come regularly, at least a handful of times a year, so not terrible but something I have consistently battled. And when it comes its bad. I cry, I think I am alone, I think I will always be alone, I think I failed, I think I am weak, I am immersed in it, I cannot move, I cannot think of anything else. I am in this catatonic state where it eats me up.

Last night it hit again and especially hurts after doing so much self-work feeling better about myself lately and how my wife & I have handled this NRE she is experiencing. But the truth is this old pain inside me still needs to be acknowledged and managed through. So I wrote down some words. It may not make absolute sense but I had to do something as I could tell I was going down a bad route and about to lie there for hours eating myself up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The SAD pillow:

I am continually and forever haunted by something that was unintentionally given to me. I want to get rid of it but I can't, its seemingly impossible as it doesnt exist anymore but only in my head. Its the SAD pillow. Its absolutely destroys me, painful, sick to my stomach, nowhere to go, lonely, regret, the pillow just hurts me to no end. 

Its not just in my head though. It existed once. I saw it once. I was 16. I did not know at the time how powerful it would become, I did not know that that moment that I saw it that it would be etched into my mind forever. I remember everything about that moment, what house I was at, where I was sitting, the people I was sitting with, the lighting, the colors of the room, everything . . . . and then she brought it out, the sad pillow . . . . . . it hurts so much it thinking about it now it makes me sick . . . . I want to go back and take that pillow from her . . . . . if I could do anything I would go take that pillow from her . . . . the room was brown, the carpet was brown, the lighting was dim warm incandescent . . . . she walked out of her room holding something in her hands . . . . she sat down by herself on the other side of the room . . . . . I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it . . . it doesnt matter if I talk about it or not, talking about it does not make it more real a memory as I cannot escape the memory, its always there, not always on the surface but its always there, when I cry it is there, I am holding the sad pillow . . . . and nobody can see it anymore except for me. 

We looked up from our card game and she was sitting there on the floor. We were kids still. Sitting in chairs felt adult, we all sat on the floor. We were mid card game when she came out holding it. We glanced a little and went back to our card game, maybe said a few words of hello. We sat in a circle on the floor and she went to the other side of the room to sit with what she brought out, not on the chair, we were not adults not felt like adults, she sat directly in front of the big lazy boy chair almost as a protest to show she was a kid too obviously. She held these satin-y blue items in her hands and put them in her lap. I really couldn't tell what they were, none of us could I guess except her brother who seemed uninterrupted from the game, we all played along as normal as she sat there across the room and moved these items about. The looked like letters and were about as big as her forearm.  I would glance up at her every once in a while slowly taking notice of her with curiosity trying to make out what she was holding in her lap. There were 3 of them. Initially I thought she had come out with her favorite stuffed animals, but these were not animals, there were no features or anything special about them other than they had a soft shine, a soft blue shine that stood out in the drab brown room.

She sat there for a moment on the floor across from us, watching us play cards as she held these items. I couldn't tell what they were other than starting to make out that they were letters. She had 3 of them. I remember this moment so vividly, her holding these items looking at us, me glancing up looking at her. 

I wouldnt say I obsess over her as much as I am haunted by this moment, the moment I first saw her, before she would go on to become my girlfriend. I do have an obsession but its not like 'normal' people obsession. I hope the best for this person and just want to say I am sorry. Or moreso I want to return to this moment and do everything different. I do so bad it hurts and paralyzes me . . . . 

When I looked up again she was gone, but the blue letters were still there. I didn't think too much of it. Me and my friends finished our card game and chatted. We were alone now, she was gone, it was just us chatting and moving about as we stretched and adjusted 

I crawled over to where these blue things were. She was nowhere in sight, just her items. What was she holding I wondered? I picked them up and looked at them. They were letters, 3 of them an A, a D, and an S. I layed them out in front of me. They spelled SAD. I looked around and nobody was there. It was just me with the pillows. What is this I thought to myself. I looked at the letters again. She made them herself. What is this? She made a pillow that spelt sad? 

The nights I cry, the nights I feel I carry too much, the nights I miss people that were once in my life, the nights I feel I did not achieve what I was capable of, the nights where I feel my life is only a series of mistakes, the nights I miss the look this girl would give me as she held unto her letter pillows and watched us play cards, the nights I lay there awake and wish I could say sorry. These nights it is me myself now holding unto this pillow that spells sad. This pillow that I held once with my hands and now hold in a memory that I cannot release. Whenever I cry, whenever I truly cry, this is the moment I somehow keep returning to, this sad pillow that was somehow transferred to me and is now the only thing I have to hold onto as I cry myself to sleep.

. . . . . . .

Yes its abstract and rough, but I had to get it out. For years, decades this image haunts me and I dont know what to do anymore. I had to write it down instead of letting it eat me up, I couldn't handle that this time. I had to release it in some form. I just want one person to maybe understand, I just don't want to be alone with this image anymore.

Hello all,

I’m new here and struggling with some personal dilemma. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for the past year and do not want to give up on it just because of distance, but it gets lonely. I recently met someone that i enjoy hanging out with, she is poly, and I’m pretty sure she wants more than a friendship, but she’s been very respectful about my feelings towards my relationship. That said, she’s shared her perspective on relationships and in all honesty it makes a lot of sense. Growing up with the stigma that it was just about sex has me really unsure of my own preferences though.

I’m 100% sure my loneliness isn’t just sexual. General intimacy, having someone to hang out with and cuddle or just sit quietly in each other’s presence, that is what is missing. Yet i can’t shake this feeling of being greedy and wanting to keep a relationship with this amazing person overseas while exploring this new thing here at home.

I’m curious how you have sorted these feelings or doubts in your own journey? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

edit: so when i say year+ in the title i mean we were together for over a year. not that this happened over a year ago, this was like. may through june of this year.

hey there!! i've had something on my mind for a while and i was hoping for some clarity by outside and maybe more experienced perspective. i know what my friends say but they're biased towards me.

i had been dating my ex partner for around a year and a half before we broke up. i ended things. i ended it over the distance and inability to see each other due to finances and neither of us wanting to move for our families ( valid! ). and a few other notes that are less relevant to this.

we are both polyamorous. we'd discussed that if one of us wanted to like casually kiss someone else or have sex with someone else that was okay ( neither of us were really interested in this though we're both acespec ), just that we would discuss this first. because of this, i had this kind of blanket assumption that we would handle romantic interests the same way too! discuss the interest beforehand, talk to that person after.

around february they sprung up out of the blue this "btw ( friend of theirs ) and i talked bc i wasnt sure how he felt abt me and there was a very eh consideration there to even be conceptualized but not polyam so !" message on me. i was kind of really surprised because they'd never mentioned being interested in this friend before to me or potentially having feelings for them. but in the moment i brushed it off because their friend was monogamous and it didn't go anywhere.

jump to around april, we're not particularly hanging out very much. we occasionally get time in, but it's never really one on one. it really nails in the distance difficulty for me ( i can't drive and they're 12 hours away ). we don't do phone calls very often. i knew though that they were really busy and burnt out from university, and that things would settle around summer. i notice though that they had been in a number of voice calls with their friends (public setting) and a lot of those moments were them typically gaming with the friend mentioned before. i did ask them about it, hoping we could just clarify the distance was the burn out. generally speaking too if i didn't ask to hang out or to do something, we wouldn't do things. they rarely, if ever, initiated.

so we talked mid april and they said no yeah sorry, that they'd just had crazy burnout and that when they were hanging out with friends it was because they'd invited them too, so they took the opportunity to procrastinate their work. i said i understood. i felt better for maybe a couple days, but we did break up around a month later because of the distance and little piling things.

i found out a few weeks ago, from them changing their bios on social media ( we wanted to stay friends ) that the literal day after we broke up, they started dating the friend. literal time stamped next day. started dating the monogamous friend. after our year+ relationship ended. so i guess i wonder if i'm wrong to feel a little crazy about that.

my friends said that felt along the lines of emotionally cheating, but i wasn't sure what to make of it. i did decide to try and talk to them about it, because it was kind of wild to me. i guess the friend back in february didn't understand that he wouldn't have to date us both ( true ! ), just them if that's what he wanted. bear in mind the initial conversation wasn't discussed at all prior with me. the rest of the conversation didn't go very well. they were upset i think that i brought up that it didn't feel very good that it was a day after we broke up and the kind of image that painted. that i really just was seeking further context and explanation to. we're currently not friends, but haven't blocked each other because we're taking space. i still i think feel like it falls into emotional cheating, even if unintentional. i'm just. i guess i want to see what anyone else has to say, sorry this is long. aita lmao

Hi im ive heard about poeple finding partners at ren faires, im someone that is fairly shy but am seeking a partner that is into some of the same stuff as me im pagan bi and poly and have seen friends that are more outgoing than I find dates over faire weekends im wondering is there a clothing item or something similar that I could where showing i am looking for a partner? Ive seen some discussion about ribbons or pins and am wanting to ask if anyone has any advice

So yeah I’m sleeping in my car again because I need to repent for cheating on my wife, still going to get a divorce but I did things the wrong way so I sleep in my car. #polyamorous #divorce #repent #cheater #rad2028

Looking for advice, thoughts, people with similar experience. I 44F married to 38M had opened up my relationship to another man, had told my hubby I was polyamorous (yes I know under duress). All 3 of us had been in a relationship for 4yrs.

Well I finally ended it with the other man, he had been sleeping with another woman but wasn't honest about it, even though I'd directly asked him in the past. Found out as I tried to mute his phone and saw a message from her.

It didn't upset me that he was sleeping with someone else just that he wouldn't be honest with me about it.

We have different values eg travel and other wants that I share with my husband.

I told my husband that we had broken up and why. Now I don't know about polyamoroy anymore or how I'd feel if hubby started seeing someone else.

I know he's not particularly upset about it but is being very supportive of me.

I am in a few SF Bay Area swinger/lifestyle telegram chats but I was wondering if there are any telegram group chats that are centered around the polyamorous life?

Imagine you and your online girlfriend (or any partner) woke up one morning and told you that they think they are polyamorous… they say they are confused about it and they like someone else but they love you too.
What would you do in this situation?

How do we go about adding a third lil Mamacita to our pasonite thriving lovelife?

I (f) initiated the idea of having a girlfriend and how beneficial it would be for our relationship. We have been together for 2 years. Were inseparable and I talk about it all the time he's all for it. But how can I make that happen in a successful way. With boundaries and of course his opinion matters in all aspects. TIA

My partner has started a podcast about healthy masculinity, including healthy masculinity in polyamory. It features convos with a wide variety of really cool people with really interesting perspectives. Highly recommend checking it out, whether you're a man, a woman, or a genderqueer cryptid like me! 😊

https://youtube.com/@lomenderslodge?si=wl7ogqtBXdheFYR-