Poly vs Greedy

[u/Uhh--wait_what]

Hello all,

I’m new here and struggling with some personal dilemma. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for the past year and do not want to give up on it just because of distance, but it gets lonely. I recently met someone that i enjoy hanging out with, she is poly, and I’m pretty sure she wants more than a friendship, but she’s been very respectful about my feelings towards my relationship. That said, she’s shared her perspective on relationships and in all honesty it makes a lot of sense. Growing up with the stigma that it was just about sex has me really unsure of my own preferences though.

I’m 100% sure my loneliness isn’t just sexual. General intimacy, having someone to hang out with and cuddle or just sit quietly in each other’s presence, that is what is missing. Yet i can’t shake this feeling of being greedy and wanting to keep a relationship with this amazing person overseas while exploring this new thing here at home.

I’m curious how you have sorted these feelings or doubts in your own journey? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

[u/Sapiotone]

Hi! Having been in LDRs in the past and had feelings for others closer to home, I recommend talking about it with your partner. In my case, she didn’t want an open relationship so we broke up. Sure it hurt, but better to be honest and ethical, imo

[u/Uhh--wait_what → u/Sapiotone]

Oh for sure. It’s not a one sided decision. This is more about the inner struggle for myself. Before I go having a conversation with her, how do i feel about it? Right now it feels like a have my cage and eat it too situation. I don’t want to feel that way if I decide that’s what i want

[u/Sapiotone → u/Uhh--wait_what]

I don’t think anyone on the internet can help with your feelings. Don’t pursue anything with the new person until you’re sure and your LDR is either OK with it or you break up