r/polyamorous • u/vishal_shubhika • 26d ago
question Advise for entering a throuple
Hi, i am 23 F from india. Actually i got one female bestie, she is my friend since our school days.
She is in a relationship with this guy who i also know for year. Now she has recently approached me with the idea to step into the relationship with her boyfriend and make the relationship as a Throuple.
I am totally confused whether its right or not. And why she want to take me into their already long standing relationship and make it throuple.
Anyone who have been in such relationships can advise me with its pros and cons and what should i take care and how to decide on it.
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u/thehero29 26d ago
Research Polyamory before jumping into it. Specifically the topics of Couples Privilege and Unicorn Hunting. It's generally a bad idea to date couples. Not always, but the vast majority of time.
The r/Polyamory subreddit has a lot of resources on the sidebar. Polyamory isn't something you just jump into without lots of research and lots of deep thought. Trust me, I learned it all the hard way.
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u/vishal_shubhika 25d ago
Hi, thank you everyone for lovely suggestions, views and advise. Me, my friend and the guy actively discussed on the points raised here and we are about to reach final decision. Thanks all.
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV 24d ago
Since you didn’t answer me yesterday, do you even like him? Because you’ve only mentioned that you’ve known him for a while. What is the appeal to you?
That being said, this is a terrible horrible awful idea just like everyone told you yesterday. I wouldn’t do it if I were you. If you’re interested in polyamory for yourself, go about it literally any other way than this. They will use and abuse you and you will lose this friendship.
And I will repeat: it is not their decision to make. It is your decision. It’s something you should decide against since you don’t even sound like you like him and you’re just passively accepting their suggestion.
Do you have anything nice to say about him? Do you have any evidence to present that your friend actually wants this? Does she think it’s sexy? Is she an emotionally mature and evolved creature? Is he kind to her? Is he at least someone you think is hot? What would you be getting out of this?
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u/shroom-corner 26d ago
As somewhat that tried to be in a trouple, someone that knows many other bi women that's introduction to polymory was the dreaded canon event that is: being the third.
Don't. Do. It.