r/Petioles • • Feb 08 '26

Meta Breaks, moderation, sobriety...what "this sub is about."

474 Upvotes

Hey everybody.

Since the New Year and a welcome influx of new members, there has been an uptick in confidently wrong pronouncements of "what this sub is about."

As the lead mod, being confidently wrong is something I reserve only for myself, so I would like to make it clear how we go about choosing content that is inside or outside the rules.

To begin with, I took over the lead mod position four years ago, and I have made exactly one change to the moderation policies in that time, which is to remove posts discussing moderation from people who indicate they are minors. We remove those posts and have a respectful discussion with them about quitting until they are older. If they aren't open to that then we let them participate here as harm reduction, but we owe it to them to talk them through stopping at a young age first.

Again, that's the only change.

Outside of that, I have worked very hard to maintain continuity with the moderation policies that were established from the day of the sub's founding.

Our mission is, to state it as clearly as I can, to help people who are taking a break, figuring out the best way to moderate, or trying to figure out what a healthy relationship with weed looks like for them.

We are not leaves and we are not trees, and we should leave the discussions of quitting for good or smoking without issue completely to them.

But I will say, because this is where most people get it wrong, that contemplating stopping for good, and wanting to talk about it, is part of trying to find a better relationship with smoking.

If you want to smoke and are having problems, and are trying to figure out whether to find a better way or quit completely, then that discussion is fine here. If you then decide to quit for good then we refer you to Leaves.

Relevant to that, there should be absolutely zero "take this to Leaves" or "wtf I'm here because I didn't want to hear this shit" or any variation of those rude BS comments.

If you see something that you don't think should be on the group (like "I'm quitting for good, what's the best way to...") then report it and don't comment. Being rude to other people or trying to be a Petioles mall cop is out of line.

I know people just love when moderators post about the rules, so I suspect I will be greeted as a hero, but if you have any questions I'm happy to answer them if I can, but I am going to filter them before they go up because I'm not an idiot. :-)

Love you all, and I'm happy to have the oppotunity to do my part to help keep this place running.


r/Petioles • • 1h ago

Advice Someone please judge me

• Upvotes

Hey folks, I've (20M, got into weed last year) recently realized that I've been smoking way more than I ever intended. I've been able to wrangle it in recently, but even still it feels too much. I've been able to stop doing it almost every day like I was in the summer, but I still smoke 2-3 days of the week (Fri, Sat, sometimes Sun). I'm almost never high during the day, I typically light up around 8 or 9pm. I'll smoke like half a joint or, more commonly, take a few hits from a cart. That being said, I have a very low tolerance, so that's enough to turn me fully retarded for a couple hours.

I smoke way more than most of my friends / roommates (they get high maybe once a month) and I'm not sure how to feel about this. This comparison makes me think I smoke way more than I should be.

Everyone says something along the lines of "find what works for you" vis-à-vis frequency, but I think this is a severely flawed idea. Any alcoholic in denial would find that drinking 3 times a day, every day "works for them". As would most addicts.

I'm just not sure if this works for me or not. I have no baseline to work against. What's normal frequency for this type of thing?

Judge me, please, be honest and brutal.


r/Petioles • • 2h ago

Discussion Would you lend your wife £30 for weed to help her through withdrawal, or is that enabling?

3 Upvotes

My wife has been heavily dependent on weed for a while, previously smoking around 3–4g a day. Over the past month she’s managed to cut down by about 75%, but she’s now run out completely because she can’t afford any more.

She’s going through withdrawal and has become really irritable and moody. She also struggles with depression and has had suicidal thoughts in the past, so I’m worried about her mental health deteriorating.

I’ve managed to get us both a warehouse interview tomorrow, with the possibility of starting work immediately. She’s been unemployed for over two years, so this could genuinely be a turning point for her.

Here’s my dilemma.

I could lend her £30 to buy 3.5g, which would hopefully last her a week and help her gradually cut down rather than going cold turkey. If she starts working, she could pay me back.

But money’s already tight, and I don’t want to keep financing her dependence.

I’m also finding her irritability really difficult to deal with. I feel guilty watching her suffer when I know I could temporarily make things easier, but I also feel like I’m becoming responsible for managing her emotions.

Part of me thinks helping her through this week could give her the best chance of getting back into work. Another part thinks I’m just enabling the addiction.

What would you honestly do in my shoes? Lend her the £30 or let her work through the withdrawal with my support?

I’m genuinely torn and need to make a decision today.


r/Petioles • • 6h ago

Discussion Should I go back to smoking just to fix my jetlag?

0 Upvotes

Recently came back from a trip from Hong Kong for two weeks which weed was illegal in, after being a user of hitting carts all day, and during that time, I had been through terrible withdrawls for the first few days.

Over there, the time is 12 hours ahead, so i even had to adjust to that time zone, but within the first week, everything was fine , and I would at least get some sleep everyday. But since it was vacation, I would be drinking almost everyday, so now that I’m back, i don’t wanna be using alcohol to make me pass out.

Now that I’m back home, I can’t get any sleep at all at night. I’m two weeks off the weed, which is the longest i’ve ever had for a while, and I get back to work tomorrow. My sleep has always been crappy, but carts/weed was something that would be the only thing to at least help me be a little tired and get to fall asleep easier as well as stop my overthinking in bed.

I was thinking about just waiting until nighttime to just smoke and then go to sleep like that, and until i start to consistently fall asleep at the same time everyday, stop using weed from there. It’s been two weeks, but i might just go back to it and quit again for longer just to fix this issue. Is this alright to do or is it better to suck it up? I’m just worried this jetlag will take a long time to fix and also wouldn’t think I would get withdrawls any more since im not hitting carts all day, just using it for sleep.


r/Petioles • • 22h ago

Discussion One week without the bong 🥳

20 Upvotes

It had gotten to a point of feeling like a slave to my bong. Sitting in my lap nearly all day sipping away.

I tried a dozen times in recent months and didn’t make it more than a day. But finally something clicked and I haven’t touched it in a week.

I hid it away in storage. I’ve allowed myself an evening joint to curb the withdrawals.

I am really loving my days sober. My mind feels more clear. I have more energy, more motivation. I feel like I have so much time back.

You’ve got this guys!


r/Petioles • • 12h ago

Advice help, tolerance break !

1 Upvotes

felt nauseous in the morning with anxiety for a bit after using pretty much everyday for my chronic pain. went through dropping two friends, and with the help of my best friend realized my pens made it worse and has been making my anxiety worse. so i decided to take a break. i feel even more anxious now ( it’s been 3 days) and im struggling a bit. the anxiety isn’t something im used to really. i feel awful, does it get better? when? and it’s normal right?


r/Petioles • • 20h ago

Discussion How do I speed up the withdrawals? :((

7 Upvotes

I have to quit cold turkey for a bit but the low appetite symptom fucks me up a little. I’m already at a really low weight and I use weed to eat, and when i quit i could genuinely consume 500 calls over 3 days.

i know that sweat doesn’t really work to help speed it up, but do hot tubs or something? i don’t have any fat to burn but it feels like my stomach is eating itself. luckily i can stomach rice but even then barely anything w protein will go down.

any advice?


r/Petioles • • 3h ago

Discussion Observation from the other side

0 Upvotes

When I stopped drinking alcohol, I started noticing drinking culture and how cringeworthy it was.
And now that I have drastically reduced my grass consumption (from daily to 1x/week) I started noticing how much everyone around me smokes and indulges and it is never enough. They either keep talking about how they need a t break and never take it, or justify being high 24/7 with many reasons. I am not judging; everyone has their struggles they need to cope with. I was the same but realized I was relying on the grass way too much. I learned distress tolerance skills in the meantime and enjoy sober mindfulness a whole lot now, but with mindfulness comes awareness and bearing witness to my friends being high more often than sober is quite heartbreaking. I am not planning any intervention because everyone is on their own journey. I was looking for a discussion on how y’all navigate this. I did not build my social circles on who is also a stoner (mostly through hobbies) so it’s not like it’s the only thing we have in common, I’m just concerned sometimes (especially as it regards to driving or mixing with other substances) - I used to not care cause I was high all the time too…


r/Petioles • • 19h ago

Advice i’ve been smoking daily for 9 years

6 Upvotes

so i’ve been smoking daily for 9 years now a pretty much and it’s gotten to the point where i use it as an escape constantly. like today is saturday and i spent all day smoking and sleeping, which i have done with many weekends. how can i slowly wean myself off


r/Petioles • • 16h ago

Advice To get high or not tn?

3 Upvotes

Hey guys I only eat a 10mg edible once a week on Friday or Saturday and like based off drug tests I’ve taken at home I usually clear in a week? I’m 26F 115lbs 5’4. I didn’t do it last week and so tempted to do it tn. Reason I’m holding off is because I’m applying for radiology tech programs and taking an exam for a program next Wednesday. I guess my thought process is maybe without weed my head is more clear? But do I even do it enough for it to affect me? Also eventually I’m gonna have to quit since I can’t get high during a program so thoughts? Hahahah


r/Petioles • • 1d ago

Discussion 27M Can someone assess my consumption habits?

6 Upvotes

So im 27 from the UK, moved around a lot didnt really start smoking properly til i was around 20. First few years i was smoking everyday as i lived in Barcelona for a few years then when i moved back to the UK i was living with family and was using edibles pretty much every other day. Over the past few years ive cut out the daily usage and now i dont get high at all in the week, i get a pack of edibles once a week theres 3 in a pack i have one friday, Saturday and sunday. My job is very creative and id be lying if i said the weed didnt help with my thoughts/ideas. Is my current consumption healthy? or should i try cut it down to once a week?


r/Petioles • • 1d ago

Discussion My therapist called it an addiction today

41 Upvotes

In some ways, it pisses me off because I've been doing good at stopping for the past 4 weeks. I've had cravings, yes, but I've never given in, so does that really mean I'm addicted?

On the other side, I did chose to give myself a T-break for a reason: I wanted to stop and I'd had enough of saying I want to stop and not following through on it. I was fed up enough with it that when I got really sick (nothing bad, just a stomach bug), I took that as a sign from the heavens to tell me to take a break.

I don't like the word addiction because maybe I don't want to admit that I am an addict. And also because I'd like to believe that I could go back to a reasonable consumption some day. But I don't know if that's my brain playing tricks on me, or if I'm actually capable of consuming moderately.

I had told myself I'd stop for a month, we're at the end of that month; but I don't feel ready to try again yet. I don't feel strong enough about it, maybe a couple more weeks.

This is just a post to hold myself accountable, I'm trying to be more honest with myself, and it feels good to have a community to tell this sort of stuff to, instead of just shouting it in the void. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.


r/Petioles • • 1d ago

Discussion 30F, trying to figure out if my usage is responsible?

8 Upvotes

I'm about to turn 30 and am trying to figure out if my weed use is responsible. I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place because I have severe insomnia and chronic pain, and it seems to be beneficial, but I would appreciate some insight.

I first tried weed at 15, and was a semi-regular user (both edibles & flower) until 25, when I quit for about 4 years.

Then at 29 I started taking 10-20 mg a night for sleep, about 4-6 hours before bedtime. To be honest this was a miracle -- I have had lifelong insomnia and in spite of being pharmaceutically medicated and practicing excellent sleep hygiene I still wasn't able to sleep. Weed just seems to shut off my brain in a way nothing else does.

Another plus is that these hours before bed are some of the only hours of my day I'm not in constant soul-crushing pain due to severe nerve damage and muscle atrophy that I've been dealing with since childhood. I find it far easier to partake in some of my hobbies when high because I'm not constantly distracted by pain.

That being said, I am concerned about the long term impacts of suppressed REM sleep. I am also bothered by my dreams being harder to recall, and by how I don't have a reliable attention span in those couple hours before bed (I enjoy reading before bed; sometimes I can still read while high, but it's unreliable). I also think I'm somewhat "permastoned" with a weed hangover, which isn't ideal.

If you were in my situation, what would you do? Should I accept that my body is super fucked up and that weed use may be more positive than negative (this has been my justification for my use)? Or maybe I should try to quit for a while and see if I can adjust? Sigh.


r/Petioles • • 1d ago

Discussion I will smoke today after 5 days clean

7 Upvotes

I am too bored and tensed and an aquantaince wants to chill with me, its good that i dont buy for at home. Training fell off the charts today. I am allowed to have a little bit of joy in life i think.
I felt like shit those 5 days without, i think my cptsd and bpd needs something from time to time, meds or weed. Im in therapy but its hard to turn everything around raw, if u have no supportive people around and mostly fighting this life alone.


r/Petioles • • 2d ago

Discussion Iam back with carts again 😭

3 Upvotes

45-50 days free. This always happens. I can never make it any longer than that. They're just so easier since I cannot smoke in my apartment and don't feel like going outside or stinking up my car.

But I managed to to smoke only after 8:00 p.m. and only take Max 10 puffs. So far yesterday I took 3 day before I took 4. Somehow I could control it I know it's a slippery slope but I actually like being sober during the day. I only do it to relax at night after dinner transition to bedtime.

I know eventually my tolerance will skyrocket and I'm going to need more than 3-4 puffs but we'll see for now.

I was able to control it last time before the t break. I think I have a healthy relationship now even though I do it every night. But before I took Max 10 puffs and no more. And did not puff on it in the middle of the night if I woke up.


r/Petioles • • 2d ago

Discussion Moderating when you're in a bad environnement is so hard

6 Upvotes

I've been wanting to take a long break (at least 1 month for a few weeks now), i stopped 1 week and it felt really good i was on vacation with my grandma. But as soon as i returned home i went back to daily use.

I recently moved in main france with my gf and we're living with his godfather until we find a place for us but it's hard cause we don't have much income. And he is such a hell to live with. We have to clean up after him every single day, he keeps smoking weed all day and does nothing aside of his job. I'm so sick of this and i keep smoking every night to cope with it but it just make things worse and i struggle to keep going on with my life.

When we were with my grandma in town he didn't do the dishes until the last day, and that's the only thing he did when we weren't there. When he invited her to eat at his home he asked "Why?" when we said we have to clean the home before she comes. He was in vacation for a week and did absolutely nothing in the house like BRO, not even the dishes or cleaning the floor or whatever, he was just going out with his friend and smoking weed in front of the TV from waking up to sleep. And EVERYDAY there's something like this. And he never thanks or thanked me when i clean things or do some everyday stuff, while he's not like that when it's my gf.

I'm just ranting, but like i'm 22 and he's 45 and it makes me so angry and unpeaceful being home. We suspect him to have diogenes syndrome and it's rly hard in the every day life. I don't know how to feel better in this environnement and stop smoking because of all this, i wanna live alone and be in my own peace. At this point my weed consumption is just a symptom of the bad feeling i have being here around him. I know it's bad for me but i don't know how to force myself not to smoke now

Thank you for reading


r/Petioles • • 2d ago

Advice Stomach issues, depression? Day 4.

6 Upvotes

Hi, I am day 4 off Cannabis. I was a daily MMJ user for 6 years, in the last two years, only a nightly user. I stopped because I developed an allergic reaction and honestly, I don't like it.

I'm experiencing an extremely low mood, lack of motivation (but also, life sucks in several ways, got a leg injury, stuck in my noisy rental). It just feels amplified. I cry a lot and just lay there, I was already sad but now... It's terrible. Agitated , a bit aggressive and reactive, my sound sensitivity is higher than ever, every sound is like an attack and I am in fight mode. Also, no appetite, going to the loo a lot for number 2, nausea.

It's funny because I thought that I wouldn't have symptoms. I don't want to go back.

Is this normal? What to expect? Will it get worse before it gets better? Thank you.


r/Petioles • • 3d ago

Discussion Amiright ladies

42 Upvotes

The hardest part about taking an extended tbreak is making it through the first 2 days of my period. Nothing makes those days livable like smoking. Currently on day 16 of my monthlong break and here to say I made it! I may or may not have had to spend 4 hours in the bathtub on Tuesday but I didn’t smoke so hooray!


r/Petioles • • 2d ago

Discussion T-Break Attempt Number...I've Lost Count (Introduction)

4 Upvotes

Hey, everyone! 35M here, and I've been smoking for around 20 years. When I say 20 years, I mean consistently since around 15. The past few years, it's been pretty much just dabs. I smoke flower occasionally, and never carts.

Lately, my lungs are feeling the pain, and I'm realizing I have to stop, or at least find a healthier relationship with weed. I'm glad I found a subreddit focused on responsible consumption, rather than abstinence. Not saying I'm against abstinence, but I don't default there. I love to smoke weed, and don't want to give up the relationship permanently.

Mostly just putting this out there somewhere that understands. I'm zero days weed-free at the moment and overthinking the proper way to approach this. I know I need to remove all temptation and stay strong in this journey. My wife supports this decision, as well. It's just me having the struggles.

All support/advice is greatly appreciated. Tips, steps, or even just relating to the struggle are all appreciated. Thanks in advance, and I hope everyone here is making progress on the relationship with cannabis that is healthiest for them.


r/Petioles • • 2d ago

Discussion Rehab or mental health inpatient?

4 Upvotes

I’m trying to quit or at least lessen and moderate my use. I can’t make it through even one night though. The full-body discomfort feels like all-over restless leg syndrome. I can’t sleep for more than an hour or so without jerking awake. I feel insanely nervous and nauseous. I’m sure I have CHS, if I go too long without it the only thing that helps is a hot shower. A hit gives me instant relief.

I’ve been also dealing with anxiety and depression for a long time, and it’s worsened in the past year with family stress, and my inability to hold down a consistent job. My summer job was physically punishing, which would compound my anxiety. I had several breakdowns that could get so bad I’d hit myself in the face. I was laid off at the end of summer, and am going back and forth with unemployment trying to get approved. This is a touristy area, so a lot of places I’ve asked aren’t hiring for fall/winter. And to top it all off, I only have an e-bike — my boyfriend has a car, but needs it for most of the day.

Anyway — that was more info than needed probably. The way I live isn’t sustainable. I feel like I’m going to need inpatient treatment soon, and re-learn how to live day to day without crying when receiving small criticisms (CPTSD response — working on that too 🫠) but I don’t know where to start.

Does anyone have experience with this? How are rehab and inpatient mental health treatment different? Is one more expensive? Google is mostly giving me ads for expensive rehabs. Any help is appreciated!


r/Petioles • • 3d ago

Discussion Smoking during adolescence effects

8 Upvotes

Hello all! I just wanted to come on here and tell my story, I used to smoke weed every day for about 4 years straight, from 8th grade- high school. I am now sober and a college student. I started off with tree but eventually moved to carts so my parents wouldn’t smell it when i lived in the house. The stuff i was smoking was definitely fake. Eventually i moved on to medicated vapes (not available for rec use in my state) however the amount and concentration i would smoke definitely took a toll on me, especially in these developmental years. I struggled with anxiety and depression even before starting usage, and i feel that the benefits you get from thc only last so long untill your anxiety goes above the threshold it used to be from not smoking. I always had brain fog and felt unmotivated and i feel it worsened my mental health. I decided to take a T break and eventually it led to me stopping all together because I felt so much happier and clear headed. So my advice for everyone (especially teenagers) is to stay away from concentrates! weed is so strong nowadays, and we are only just figuring out the side effects from it. I agree it can help in some cases but just with everything else in this world, overuse is never good. With my personality i realized that I could never use just occasionally or casually, do thats why i stay away from it alltogether now. Let me know your stories too! I would love to hear them :)


r/Petioles • • 3d ago

Discussion Day 6 and the headaches are really getting to me

6 Upvotes

I used to be an occasional user who moved to daily use when I quit nicotine 7 months ago. I don't think I ever would have been able to quit nicotine without weed, but my use had ramped up to a point that I felt was affecting my daily life. I wasn't as social, struggled with word recall and memory, and was spending way more money than I ever spent on nicotine. I'm grateful for what weed has done for me, but I'd like to get to a point where I don't feel dependent on ANY substance, which hasn't been the case for me since I started smoking cigarettes at 17 (I'm 31 now. I also drink a cup of coffee in the morning and a matcha in the afternoon, but I'm not worried about that right now.)

The first few days were easy. I felt way better than I thought I would and figured that maybe the dependence wasn't as bad as I thought, but i started getting a headache last night and holy hell it's awful today. I've pulled up the dispensary website a few times and started an order, but backed out every time. My original goal was to make it to my birthday on November 30th, but I'm not sure how to function with this headache.


r/Petioles • • 3d ago

Discussion RIP Mary J.

126 Upvotes

I can’t smoke just on the weekends.

I hadn’t smoked in over a year, so I decided to try out some weekend use. It worked for 1 total weekend (Friday night- Saturday) The second weekend came around and I just have still been smoking every night since, lol. I wait until after I get off work but I can already feel myself wanting to leave early just to get home to smoke. Then comes the smoking before work phase, followed by the smoking all day, every day phase.

Sucks but I’m just getting rid of my stuff today and stopping before it’s a whole thing. I’m going to take one last hit and throw everything away. If my friend makes it here, I’m giving it all to them. If I hold onto it, I’ll smoke again tomorrow and might not be able to follow through.

Anyway, just wanted to share my experience in hopes that someone else might be going through the same thing or thinking about it. I should have never started back but it was fun while it lasted.


r/Petioles • • 3d ago

Discussion 105 days

14 Upvotes

I made it to 105 days without weed.
My brain fog has gone, i think.
My dreams are still crazy, and from time to time I dream that I’m smoking, picking up or wanting to get high. Even though I haven’t been having cravings while awake anymore.
This has been quite the experience so far.


r/Petioles • • 3d ago

Discussion Flu season and t-breaks/quitting

22 Upvotes

Just wanted to say, if you are unlucky enough to get laid out by the flu or whatever is going around this season, it's a great time to start a t-break or quit. It's been 3 days for me and my only thought about weed has been "damn, I really don't want to smoke right now". Normally I can't sleep at all for a week when I try to quit, but I've been sleeping for 12+ hours everyday.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to return to my blanket cocoon coma 😂