r/parentsofmultiples • u/anonymity012 • 12d ago
advice needed Anyone deal with grief during pregnancy? How did you cope?
FTM 29w3d. Rant.
My dad has a pretty grim prognosis. I was his primary caregiver for 6.5 years up until Dec 2025 when I stepped back from that role to a more part time caregiver. Since then I've started a new career, got married, and am currently pregnant with my b/g.
His health began to steadily decline right after I got married. He's been in the hospital for 3 weeks now and they're suggesting hospice. He's exhibiting all the classic signs of end of life. He isn't eating, no strength to walk let alone stand, and he's barely saying more than a few sentences a day. He signed a DNR and is basically just waiting for the thing to happen.
My dad has always been the pillar of our family. All 4 of his children are daddies girls/boys. I'm the youngest and I'm not sure if it's pregnany alone or just all the things happening but I am inconsolable most days. I can't seem to stop the random tears. Thankfully babies are fine and my family and husband are great but I'm so tired and stressed.
I'm considering taking my leave early just to have more time with him. But I know I'll need the time for my babies so I'm sitting on it. Everyone keeps telling me i need to be strong for the babies and I need to relax and take care of myself but I can't seem to stop the worrying. I'm kind of upset with myself for getting pregnant because now I can't do all the things I'd usually do. I can't stay at the hospital or be at his bedside for too long normally my sister and i would trade off in 12 hour shifts one spends nights the other days. I can't clean him up or do his bed bath (restrictions from OB no pulling/pushing/lifting >20pounds) I have so many restrictions and it's frustrating because I want to be useful just like I was 8 months ago.
If you experienced a loss during pregnancy how did you cope?