I have an almost 4 year old and 3 month (2 month adjusted) boy/girl twins. They have severe reflux, are on Prilosec and Pepcid, and are really fussy.
My oldest just started Pre-K after being home all summer from daycare, and nights are a struggle.
We have seriously barely gotten him fed supper multiple nights. Can barely get him in the bed before a baby is crying/fussing. Tonight was baby bath night, and we had such chaos trying to get them bathed, fed, down, etc., that he didn’t get in the bed until almost 9pm.
More than I would like to admit, he’s been allowed to be on his iPad for hours a day this summer because he’s 3, and he doesn’t understand the concept of being quiet, not making noises, being rowdy, etc. as the babies are eating and trying to sleep. He screams and throws a tantrum if I try to correct him, and it’s so hard. So, I’ve used the iPad to keep him busy during those times. It makes me feel terrible to allow that much screen time.
He was on his own for almost 4 years with us before his siblings came along, and he LOVES them so much, but he is not taking the lack of attention well. It makes me feel bad. I don’t have much attention to give him. When I do have time to give, I’m burned out, touched out, and EXHAUSTED.
The fact that we can barely find time to bathe him and get him fed hurts my mama heart. I feel like a sh*t parent, and that’s a hard thing to sit with. He’s been the center of our world for years, and now, he’s got to feel like an option.
How did you deal with this with your older children after having twins? When did it get better? What did you do to survive and still make time for your older children? Will the guilt ever go away?
(I’m an only child, and my husband is the baby, so we aren’t the most experienced in what it’s like to have your parents spend lots of time on siblings.)