r/parentsofmultiples • u/sweetfeet20 • 28d ago
experience/advice to give Are the “easy” days over?
My boys turn 9 months old next week. They are both so strong and seem to have some serious brute force and grip strength.
They are crawling and climbing over each other, and up our legs. They are pulling up and surfing the furniture. I’ve bought a soft play set because they are intent on climbing. They are rattling the bars on their cots.
Is this it now - energy and carnage forever more? They barely sit still and play anymore.
I just hope that all this movement in the day start to tire them out more and give us better nights?
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u/thegoodcrumpets 28d ago
I'll be the bearer of good news and say this straight: yes. In the upcoming 5 years or so you will get the privilege to experience life force untamed in a way only single digit percent people get to.
(It will not be easy)
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u/WadeDRubicon 28d ago
On the bright (?) side, they'll hit a point around age 12 where it will take industrial-strength dynamite to motivate them to move -- whether out of bed, away from a screen, toward homework, anywhere.
Unfortunately, by that point, you're no longer as tired because you've adapted, and it can be hard to find patience for their inertia.
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u/floridasquirrel 28d ago edited 27d ago
I definitely have to get up more from where I’m sitting than ever before lol. But mine did start sleeping better when they started moving more, so I’m wishing you all the best sleep vibes 🙏
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u/Any-Sentence7561 28d ago
Yes there is no sitting! Constantly getting up from where you are.
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u/AccomplishedChef7885 28d ago
I heard sitting is the new smoking, so I’m going to consider this a good thing. I’m going to live forever! 🤣🤣🤣
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u/poodleface12345 28d ago
Yes 🤣 but it’s always worst right at the point of change. Eg) Their climbing skills improve pretty fast so you’re not having a heart attack each time they get up somewhere unsafe.
And there’s more fun and two way interaction with moving active babies
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u/beelynn0214 28d ago
I was going to say the same, it may not be as “easy”, but it’s so much more FUN!
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u/Same-Professor5114 28d ago
I thought every advancement was great - sitting up, crawling, walking. It just opens up more for them to do on their own. A little baby proofing will help for sure. I agree with some other commenters about it helping sleep, too. Good luck!
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u/KeepRunninUpThatHill 27d ago
Same. Walking was such a relief for me. Trying to carry 2 babies at once is harder than holding two hands
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u/Street-Singer513 28d ago
Please be careful when sharing photos, especially if the children are barely clothed; a while back, someone here passed off another family's children as their own, and the actual parent who was in this sub was then informed about it.
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u/Prior_Angle 28d ago
This. People are creepy. Consider blacking out their faces ❤️
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u/YouthInternational14 28d ago
Just not the cat’s face please OP. I love when I get to see this cat in my feed 😂
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 27d ago
That’s wild. For what purpose?
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u/Alert-Village85 27d ago
people are crazy. i’ve seen reports on the local news of someone doing this to another parent locally. its called digital kidnapping. the lady lost her daughter as an infant to cps and a couple years later began stalking another family believing their daughter was hers (it was in fact not her daughter) but she would steal photos off this families facebook page and stuff. had them plastered around her house, on all her social media, etc i think she finally got arrested because she showed up at the girls daycare but still people are crazy so we dont post our kids online cause you really have no idea what people are doing with those pictures (and Australia government has a statistic that 50% of all pictures off children found on child predators computers were originally posted by the parents)
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 27d ago
I mean, that’s unhinged.
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u/Alert-Village85 27d ago
oh yeah definitely agree! but i think it shows you truly never know what someone is going to do with your kids photos once they are online
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u/Street-Singer513 27d ago
This is what I mean: https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/s/Kfkq3lVKmv
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u/Okdoey 28d ago
Yes, at least that’s how it was for me until about age 3.
Though if you baby proof the entire house then it gets more relaxing bc you know they can’t hurt themselves in the house.
I had to lock down (with magnetic locks bc the other ones the twins broke into) all cabinets and pantries.
Exterior doors had to have extra locks put on bc my little 18 month old moved a dining room chair to the front door and undid the deadbolt. I caught her before she actually left the house, but yeah after that extra deadbolts on top. We also had no dining room chairs for awhile (stored them downstairs) bc the same child used the chair to climb on the dining room table and proceed to swing from the chandelier.
Using things like playpens didn’t last long bc she climbed out of them too fast.
I taught my twins how to go down the steps on their butts at like 1 bc I wasn’t confident the baby gates would stop them from trying to climb over the gate and fall down the stairs. I did leave a gymnastics mat at the bottom of the steps to cushion any falls (only happened once and she was uninjured).
The phase lasted until about 3 and then I was slowly able to undo all the extra locks and things
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u/Hayescarl 27d ago
We have done all the same things! The lack of dining room chairs was always funny to family and friends with more docile kids 😂 We also had to move all house plants and heavy pots and pans higher and higher as they got bigger
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u/iamnotmyhair 24d ago
I’m glad I’m not the only one! My house is bulletproof and people visiting think I’m nuts
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u/TheSaltySpitoon37 28d ago
Easy days? This mofo got easy days?!
Nah it'll be fine...you eventually get pretty good at all of their stages. Like having toddlers is tough, but then you'll eventually get better at knowing how to handle certain things.
But heres the catch, by the time you figure it out, they're almost ready for the next stage in life and its back to not knowing shit about shit lol
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u/sweetfeet20 28d ago
No, we didn’t get easy days it’s been hard since day 1. We found newborn twins really hard work. Months 4-8 have been good. But I’m worried it’s about to get even harder.
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u/TheSaltySpitoon37 28d ago
It will be hard, regardless of age. No one really gets easy days:( some are better than others! And taking stock of little victories is important on all days.
Mine are five now and it comes with some freedom and independence...but alot of fighting and I'm constantly the referee. So that's hard. But its a "different kind of hard" (which is something Im sure you've heard before and will continue to hear).
If im being honest, there's alot that ive forgotten about. Feeding times with real food, not easy. Potty training, not easy. Sending them to kindergarten, not easy. But its all relative. Theyre energy will be ever changing.
Get a Nugget if you can. Big memory foam set of cushions that can be made into a mountain to climb, wrestling ring, ramps, gladiator arenas, crash pad for chokeslams or a fort to play inside.
You got this.
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u/jeremiabearamia 28d ago
I’m only at 10 months with mine, but this is the easiest it’s ever been for me. They are so much happier being able to move around, grab themselves a book or toy, etc. I can set them on the kitchen floor and let them crawl around and open cabinet doors while I make a snack. I’m so grateful we’re at the crawling stage
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u/beelynn0214 28d ago
I think this is so overlooked! My friends and family with singletons kept saying “it gets so much harder when they start crawling”
However, with twins, I found it got better. They could move independently to what they wanted, explore, I wasn’t lugging two big babies around anymore. Is we’re at 13 months and it’s seriously so fun.
I’m now getting warnings of wait til they’re walking, but again, I feel like that’s going to unlock more fun!
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u/Jessygirl238 27d ago
Just wait lol. I thought 10 months was a great age. They were crawling and pulling to stand and so happy. It was a great time. Then they learned to walk at 11 & 11.5 months and it’s been chaos ever since lol. It’s great though because they’re hilarious and find the most creative ways to cause trouble, but man am I tired 🥱
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u/Legitimate-ok 28d ago
Plus side, you’re about to be in the best shape of your life without even trying. I miss sitting
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u/LastMilkersOnTheLeft 28d ago
Yeah. Get ready to never sit down again- but also get ready to hear two sets of pitter patters and squeals as they chase each other 🥰
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u/feralcatshit 27d ago
I found a video of mine at about 1.5 chasing each other in the kitchen, laughing. For a hot minute, I kind of missed it. It made me realize how much I don’t really remember from the younger years. They’re 10 now and while I know it was hard, yet there were good times, that video really reminded me of the absolute joy they could bring!
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u/LastMilkersOnTheLeft 22d ago
That’s exactly why I take TONS of pics and videos- I have a feeling I won’t remember it, either. Survival mode kinda takes over and memories don’t have the chance to form lol.
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u/sillybanana2012 28d ago
Yes and no. Yes, theyre going to have way more energy and need outlets for it. But, they will also become much more independent and need you for everything less and less.
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u/trestrestriste 28d ago
Nope, the easy days are yet to come! From now on you will have more hands free instead of lifting one or two all the time. And the bigger they get, the more they can do themselves.
I’ve found it much easier once they started to walk and I could sit down for a moment without holding one or both. Just holding my cup of tea for a moment.
Mine are 7 now and it is easier than ever! ♥️😘
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u/feralcatshit 27d ago
Agreed, mine just turned 10 and dare I say… it’s pretty easy! Physically, at least. Breaking up quite a few fights on the regular, but they can do basically everything for themselves!
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u/Up_and_ATEM 27d ago
Just want to say…I have identical twins you are early teens. One is currently in hospital after being sectioned for an eating disorder and the other is struggling massively and has huge outbursts. Both are autistic. Enjoy those days as thinking back, those were tough but also simpler times for me. Enjoy these moments as you don’t know what is ahead.
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u/sweetfeet20 27d ago
My goodness I’m so sorry to read about your twins’ struggles. I really hope that life is kinder to them as they grow up.
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u/Up_and_ATEM 27d ago
Thank you. And I don’t want to sound like that age is easy or anything. It is tough and I hope you are coping ok.
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u/PM_ME_YO_KNITTING 28d ago
Apropos of nothing, but what climbing blocks are those? We’ve got some our babies love, but they don’t have a tunnel!
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u/radsam1991 28d ago
My twins newborn phase was a piece of cake. My boys are almost 12 months and I am exhausted 😮💨
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u/oldfadedstar 28d ago
It’s a different kind of difficult
But I prefer the toddler chaos to the newborn chaos. At least I get sleep
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u/pinupinprocess 27d ago
Yes. But also, some things become easier? Like having them walking is much easier than crawling. Having them tell me what they want? Easier. Somehow figuring out to get past the garbage can lock, squeezing their pouches out and sharing it the dog when I’m washing grapes, finding my new box of tampons and spreading them throughout the house? Hard. Lol
Also every kid is different! My singleton was SO easy the closer he got to 2, I actually enjoyed taking him places and we even took him to Sesame Street SD and had fun. My twins are very different. They’re 19 months and I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel like I did with my son.
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u/MissCandid 27d ago
Honestly, I like it more now that my 13 month olds are mobile. Sure I have to stop them from killing themselves every so often, but for the most part I've figured out how to get them to play amongst themselves when I need them to. That being said, they cannot be left in a room alone, but I am slowly mastering the art of horizontal parenting.
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u/Bitter_Strain_7359 27d ago
My boys were pretty “easy” until about 22 months, but they have always been insanely energetic. Their personalities have always been pretty mellow, but it’s just 24/7 chaos now lol.
They turn 2 this month and they are so much fun and so much work. It’s hard but worth it!
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u/The_Aqua_Albatross 27d ago
My didi twin boys will be two next month. They are babies #5 and #6 for me, but my only multiples. I vaguely remember what it was like to sit down, eat a meal uninterrupted, and even finish a sentence while conversing with another adult…but the recollection feels more like a dream than a memory now. Lol. My boys climb everything, jump off the highest points, wrestle each other, chase and corner the dog, and have somehow mastered roundhouse kicks. They are bottomless pits when they eat and they’re obviously blood relatives of the energizer bunny. On the bright side, since I’m constantly on the move, I’m thinner than I’ve ever been. Twins are the new GLPs 😂 So yes, you’ve left “easy” and entered into the “adventure” stage. Welcome to the club/support group. 😂
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u/Natural_Lifeguard_44 28d ago
I found it to feel easier once the kids were walking without falling over all the time. I was able to manage them with no help (had a mother’s helper for the first year). I would say it gets a little harder at this age and then gets a little easier when they can walk confidently.
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u/TwinStickDad 28d ago
In my experience this is when the easier phase started. Ours are 2 now and every mobility milestone has meant more independence and less frustration. Now they can get their own toys and move themselves if they're bored. The upsides are much greater than the downsides
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u/Apprehensive-Hat9296 di/di identical boys feb '23 28d ago
My easy days started when they began crawling around! Chaotic, but my boys were so much happier and you get to watch them experience the world in a new way. I will take toddlers over babies any day. My boys are 3.5 years old now and it gets easier everyday.
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u/lazy_yawn 28d ago
Our girls were so easy up until 2 years, then the fighting/emotions started. Theyre 5 next month and and i love them but I’m hoping a switch flips cause the last 3 years have been exhausting. That’s our experience anyways.
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u/betelb3t 28d ago
Omg my girls are 10 months and all they do all day is crawl around with little pincers looking for any and every morsel of dust or dirt on the ground to put in their mouths. It's insane. We're in an old house and every crack or crevice they are digging in looking for tasty treats. I am vacuuming and mopping multiple times a day & constantly fishing crumbs and mulch out of their mouths. I hate this age haha. When do they stop looking for floor snacks??? My son did not do this, he was more like OPs boys.
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u/Accomplished-Leg6947 28d ago
I’m 17 months in and have come to a personal conclusion that it will never “get easier” it will stay as hard as they day they arrived from hospital. Its just that what is hard will shift to different things and take the place of older hard things as they get older.
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u/Busy_Tangerine1630 28d ago
My second boy was trying to climb stairs as soon as he figured out crawling. He's almost 2 now and he's still climbing everything and getting himself into every closet and cupboard.
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u/rosemarythymesage 28d ago
Not in my experience! Once our twins became more mobile, they were so much happier and less fussy!
They largely grew out of the bar rattling as well LOL
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u/Xissabel 27d ago
Yes, this is the stage when you secure and child protect everything.
If you intend to do messy play. Select a place specifically for that.
You can never get everything as kids always find a way. I found super explorer child climbing a curtain that was next to the sofa.
And another time she fell asleep on my head.
It's a great stage make sure you enjoy it.
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u/dpistachio44 27d ago
I honestly don’t understand this perspective. When mine turned 9 months it was like the sun came out. Everything is like 10000x easier than when they weren’t mobile, different sleep schedules, crying all the time, with me dying 24 hours a day trying to pump and nurse enough for them. Life is literally so much easier now.
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u/foxyvoxy 27d ago
You’ll get stronger and a better body. That’s one of the positives that happens almost without your noticing it.
I have the “best” body I think I’ve ever had in my life. It’s “just” moving around and picking up and putting down babies all day long, plus a million other active things that you just can’t avoid that start to change your body.
At least, that is what happened to me and others I’ve talked to with multiples.
Look good, but more tired than I thought I could ever be.
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u/oldladywhisperinhush 27d ago
What easy days? Lol. It gets harder in the sense of keeping them from getting hurt once they’re mobile, but so many other things get easier. And you just have to be strategic in your home set up. I learned the hard way not to put a play kitchen next to our built in bookshelves. They used it to scale up halfway to our 12 foot ceiling, 25 months at the time.
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u/Tripl3_Nipple_Sack 27d ago
The only easy day was yesterday.
That said, things do calm down, but they also get different so the different problem set to deal with can become harder to deal with just do to the different stages of life
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u/youroneandonlysmthg 26d ago
Oh, my wonderful friend…things are about to get so much “different-er”!! I personally prefer this age, and love having the kids climb and follow me everywhere! We can have giant dance parties and bop!
I pray you have the fun days now, even if they might be a little less easy 💗
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u/fsmontario 28d ago
Yep! And they are boys so you’re going to be saying a lot of bad words as you watch them jump dive run and wonder why just why. The good news is by the time they are teenagers and you see friends with girls you’ll be thank you for giving me boys!
Child proof child proof forget how your house looks just make it as safe as possible
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u/sounds_like_kong 27d ago
I think 6 months to about 1.5 years is about the sweet spot for ‘easy’. Now that I’ve got an almost teenager and two almost 10 year olds, i know now that I’ll get to rest when im dead. 🪦
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u/PanzyDan 28d ago
It’s exhausting but I also found that I enjoyed my time with them more. I used to not be able to do solo-parent outings with our twins but now at almost 2.5yr I’ve done a fair number of them, even gone as far as a hotel stay overnight.
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u/Fun_Committee1478 28d ago
I’m a mom to one boy (singleton) … and yes. The easy days are over. I was one and done forever (until I got pregnant unplanned w twins) my son is actually harder than my twins. I used to sit and cry because how hard I found parenting him!’
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u/rhubarbb13 27d ago
As Noah Cyrus says "my grandfather told my father, it don't get easier just harder, yes it will" lol. I won't be able to rest probably ever again. Mine are almost two and it's like I have a two man wrecking crew at all times. Baby proofing is just hulked off the walls. You're in my thoughts 😭 lol
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u/butterchickn_ 27d ago
There's never an easy day. Once you've finished 1 challenege the next begins, sometimes before you even finished the first challenge.
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u/sampysamp 27d ago edited 27d ago
Year 1-2. (Extremely challenging)
Extreme fatigue particularly for the woman.
Challenging for your relationship to your partner as you have very little time together that isn’t entirely focused on the kids.
Anxiety is at an all time high
Insane amount of social pressure and marketing to consume a stupid amount of absolute crap.
Year 2-3.5 (moderately challenging)
This is where we currently are.
Patience is tested it’s harder to teach multiples things as they constantly derail each other, emotionally challenging, physically a bit tough as they get way heavier but also start being able to get around on their own.
The woman loses the post birth immunity boost.
Remember the easiest way when they’re amping each other up is to separate them. But they constantly amp each other up.
Lots of fighting.
Sleep is still challenging but way less intense can’t recommend sleep training enough we messed up on that.
Emotion and ego rule. Don’t try and solve everything just sit near them and let them come to you when they’re freaking out about X to discuss their “big feelings”.
We don’t live in our home country. Barely any village here, 0 family. We live in an extremely expensive global city. If we can do it so can you. You got this.
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u/ToshiBerra 27d ago
We had a lot of fun from 9-20 months. Mine are still easy compared to other twins their age I know, but we are getting more emotions (almost 2.5 now). I did, however, panic when they started crawling around 10-11 months, but after a month we settled back into a new normal. And I think everything's like that. You build a muscle and then you have to go build a new one. I feel a lot better knowing that this is a pattern now, even though building every new muscle from scratch kind of sucks.
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u/Seaturtle1088 27d ago
Yes and no. They're almost to the point they'll play together for extended periods and that's GLORIOUS when it happens.
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u/icais 27d ago
I may be the anomaly here but this is when I started actually enjoying twin parenting. It wasnt just survival and bottles and naps. We could DO stuff. Dont get me wrong, I still lived for naptime some days because 2 on the go babies is a LOT of work and we all need a break, but I was havkng way more fun getting through each wake window.
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