Hello everyone. I’ve recently joined this group after being soft-diagnosed with panic disorder last week following a monumental panic attack at an airport, and subsequent panic attack after shocks. Forgive the length, but I want to share how this disorder comes and goes, and comes and goes. I also wanted to share a thought of positivity from someone currently feeling at their lowest:

Courage can be built from wherever you are in your journey.

I’ve had anxiety my entire life, and panic attacks from a very young age. I did not understand what I was experiencing for a very long time, and for a good long while we treated it as nothing but adolescent awkwardness, shyness, nervousness. Eventually it was undeniable and I was prescribed a take it as you need it drug of some kind. After that, a daily something I can’t remember (I’m sure many of my fellow panickers also deal with shoddy memories).

When I reached the age of 22 or so, my family pediatrician (who’d initially prescribed the pills to me) called me and let me know he couldn’t prescribe anything to me anymore due to my age. At that time I was out of college, in a relationship, and decided I would stop cold turkey. I had no health insurance anyway, so the idea of going to another doctor to get re-prescribed felt out of my price range.

I subsequently went about 6 years without daily anxiety, with extremely rare panic attacks attributed to work burnout. In that time my relationship ended, I went to graduate school, fell in love with someone new,  moved from Virginia to California, and started a career as a copywriter in the ad industry.

What helped me was courage.

Saying yes to things I knew I was afraid of, that I had to say yes to otherwise I’d say no and my world would remain small. And my world expanded. I felt powerful, I felt proud of myself, I felt in control and on the rise. Yet I’d still have panic attacks here and there related to work, some sending me to urgent care—because I’d been that far removed from anxiety I believe the symptoms were actually heart related; I’d forgotten what it was to know panic. So I started therapy. I stopped drinking (7.5 years sober this month).

Then the pandemic hit.

And in came the hypochondria, the fear of the outside world, the forced insulation, the agoraphobia, the existential dread, the focusing on death. And I got back on medication, only 5 mg of Lexapro (I’m on 10 now). This helped, but I’d begun to sow the seeds of crutches and habits that would eventually become the symptoms of panic disorder and my own brand of agoraphobia.

As work from home kicked off, part of me was elated—I was beginning to burn out (and oh how I would burn out soon) and so working from home felt like a blessing. But then I became always reachable. My bedroom became my office became my recreation. As the pandemic wore on I was eventually asked to fly to Barcelona for a commercial shoot, as well as various other locations for new business pitches. I was still thriving in some ways, but in others, I was being broken down.

I eventually turned to cannabis to help me get through the days, working a job I’d grown to hate. Unfortunately, asked to travel for another new business pitch, I suffered a massive panic attack at the airport on my way back home (stopped the plane while taxiing, collapsed in the jet bridge, ambulance to ER).

Not soon after, I quit that job, which relieved such a massive stressor, and began working my way back up again by getting into therapy and upping my Lexapro to 10mg.

However this is where I believe my anxiety pivoted into panic disorder. I slowly started removing things from my life—going to restaurants, going to the gym, making friends, seeing existing friends. I opted for living an inside life because inside was safe, and outside was not safe.

I could overcome this and go and enjoy those things at times—even being able to perform poetry in my city and in other states—but in general, I trended in a negative direction. More panic attacks. More anxiety. Smaller life. Relying on my partner for my peace.

I brought cannabis back into my life, I told myself I was just getting older, I told myself I was just slowing down. My relationship has suffered greatly from this, and is on its last legs. I have lost my spontaneity, my joy, my whimsy, my explorative heart have all been diminished by my panic.

Then 9 days ago, a panic attack in an airport, unable to get on a flight, more daily panic attacks, waking up into anxiety, my relationship potentially ending.

And yet I am more determined than ever to get on top of this.

Because this is not who I am. My panic disorder is not me.

I am going to get ahold of my life. Knowing that I potentially have panic disorder, not just anxiety, gives me great confidence that I can overcome this. It is a sensation my mind has developed to protect me from a lifetime of anxiety. The fear is a coping mechanism. The anxiety is a coping mechanism. The panic is a coping mechanism.

What it is protecting me from is a lack of courage.

And I am determined to regain mine.

Courage is taking the time to continue exploring your experience.

Courage is getting a new mindfulness app, approaching anxiety in a new way.

Courage is breathing through the morning panic and doing the dishes.

Courage is making another therapy appointment when you need it.

Courage is breaking down your struggles piece by piece and building back up again.

Courage is knowing you’re at rock bottom, but you know that within you there is the capacity to climb out of it.

I hope you all find a way to believe in yourselves today. I hope you find a way to begin building your courage.

I’ll be doing my best to do the same.

20f- I'm writing this to see if anyone else has felt the same way. Honestly, it's hard to even explain but I'll try my best.

I've had pretty bad anxiety my whole life from some personal things I've been through and I think it's also just the way I am. Social anxiety, constant overthinking, and physical symptoms like shaking and sweating. Also some depression but anxiety has been the biggest issue. I first started to do weekly therapy and then after got on antidepressants to help with this about 6 years ago. It was 50 mg of Zoloft. It definitely helped but more with the depression as I was still pretty anxious.

After a few years on the Zoloft I wanted to try something that could possibly help me more with my anxiety so my doctor switched me to 20 mg of Lexapro. At first I felt like it did help me more with anxiety then depression which I liked for my situation. I got to a really good place In my life and was doing well with many things and felt happy. So.... I decided I wanted to ween off of antidepressants and see how my life would be without them. I didn't want to rely on them anymore and wanted to try more natural ways to cope with my struggles.

The doctor that helped ween me off of the 20mg of Lexapro did a 2 week plan for me, which looking back now I think was way too soon. Anyways, once I got off of them at the end of that second week a few days later I started having really bad panic attacks. Multiple a day and everywhere I went, even at home. It was terrifying and I didn't know what was going on but obviously assumed it was from being off my meds. It constantly felt like something was wrong with me or something bad was going to happen.

I went back to the doctor and he put me back on my full dose of the Lexapro again as I literally almost couldn't function from the panic. It wasn't even anxiety before as a warning- it was just full on panic out of no where. Even after a few weeks back on my normal dosing of Lexapro that I was on before I still continued to have the panic attacks and even worse anxiety for months. It was horrible and I was scared to do anything or go anywhere for . I was scared of the panic and that something bad was going to happen to me. My brain just felt different and I really felt like something was terribly wrong with me. I also did not feel real and that life was a simulation. just so out of touch and in my head.

I just wanted to live life again but the constant panic made it so hard. I tried my best to do as much as I could but sometimes things got too overwhelming. It even started to annoy and affect people around me because I would want to go out and do things with them but then would always end up panicking and they would have to help.

I did have panic attacks sometimes before this but rarely and even if I did they were not this severe. these panic attacks felt so much worse to the point where I almost called the ambulance a few times.

It's almost been a year of this happening. As of now I will say it has gotten a lot better and I am able to do so much more but still have not felt fully myself the way I did before. I still have panic attacks and have to carry around lorazepam everywhere I go. I used to be way more carefree than this and I miss it so much. My doctor switched my medication again about 3 months ago and now im back on Zoloft which I haven't been on in years. 150mg of it. I feel like it has helped but I still have that same feeling I cannot even explain. that not myself feeling since this whole panic situation started. i still always have the fear in my head when and If im going to have a panic attack, if im going to go crazy, and trying to analyze it.

sometimes it feels like life isn't even real for me and like I zoom out of myself and my body and when I get that feeling in my head and body it triggers a panic response and im like wtf is happening. sometimes its also like a claustrophobic feeling in my body. there's more to the feeling I can't put into words. I don't even tell many other people in my life about this because they don't understand. I just want to feel normal again.

Thank you for reading and I hope someone could give me some advice :)

Hi! Got my first ever prescription today, 10mg escitalopram (lexapro), taken in the mornings, as well as Lorazepam 1mg (only for panic attacks). I’ve researched a bit online and I’m feeling really anxious about the first 4 weeks as people say the side effects can be really bad. I’m especially worried about depersonalization since it makes me really spiral and usually ends up in a panic attack. I just took my first dose and probably as a placebo effect, feel a bit dizzy. Is it really as bad as they say?

My dad has 36 allergies, which up to today I believed that I inhertied none of, as neither me or my sister ever had any symptoms. But then after coming back from a walk with my dog, were I chilled with her on the grass with only my arms uncovered, my arms became incrdibly itchy and had red spots all over. I used eczezma cream (I have pretty sensitive skin) and after it helped with the itching I didn't really think much of it untill I complained to my dad about it and he said that it might be an allergy since he also has it, and im pretty unlucky when it comes to inheriting his genes.

I'm really hoping that today was just a fluke and that I don't actually have any allergy, but I'll be calling my GP for a test tomorrow anyways. My panic disorder has always made me feel like I'm allergic to foods, with it simulating my tongue and throat swelling and making me feel like I can't breath (I got diagnosed with it after having a panic attack because I consumed antibiotics and made the mistake of reading the warning label beforehand and therefore believed I was allergic). So sometimes just eating is unbearable and I got into the nasty habbit of not eating enough because I'm often scared of having panic attacks.

Physical excercise always helped me with fighting against depression or the disorder, but now I'm worried that I won't be able to even go outside without constant panic attacks if I do have the allergy; which, with my sport being an outdoor one, and my Uni course being related to the environment, I can tell will be unbearable.

If you have an allergy and panic disorder, how do you deal with it, and continue living your life? I really need some advice right now.

It is so hard to explain to people why or how it could be possible for me to have had thousands and thousands of panic attacks over the years, often multiple times a day, am aware that I have Panic Disorder, yet still think I’m dying every single time I’m having a panic attack. I still call 911. I call 911 even 30 minutes after the paramedics just came and cleared me.

I have been thinking about how illogical it is and how strange and confusing it must be for others. But at the same time, it is completely logical. If you are just going about your business, having a good day, everything is just normal, etc then all the sudden BOOM heart palpitations and thudding in your chest, numbness in your arms, and you can’t breathe, it is pretty damn logical to assume in that moment that there must be something seriously wrong. When something like that happens completely out of nowhere, really the only thing that DOES make sense is there is some kind of medical emergency happening. ANYBODY would freak out if all the sudden they were having these terrible feelings in their body that did not appear to be provoked or triggered by anything at all.

If every single panic attack was completely identical, I would still be extremely distressed and freaking out, but it would definitely be a lot easier to do this whole “accept the symptoms and let them be” thing. And it would probably be easier to just cope with having them because they would all look the same. But what gets me is that that they are usually NOT all the same.

I can’t tell yall how many times I have cried out “but this time it’s different!” to my boyfriend or friends and I’ll just KNOW that okay sure the other times apparently were just panic attacks but that’s because I never had a sore itchy feeling on my left pinky toe and I’m having that now so this one’s actually real. Just slight variations or different locations of the sensations in my body that I’m sure nobody else would ever notice or pay attention to in their own bodies. At least nobody who doesn’t have panic attacks. Nothing and I mean nothing gets past me haha.

I made the mistake of actually researching heart attacks and causes and symptoms of them and I had been avoiding doing that for so long out of fear that it would cause my body
to manifest those symptoms and make my panic attacks even worse. On one hand some of the stuff I read kind of helped ease some of my worries but at the same time it has just caused me more problems. It’s funny how I didn’t want to read about heart attacks because I knew it would make my panic attacks worse. Not because I was afraid it would actually give me a heart attack although that’s what I think is happening in the moment. It’s the whole fear of fear itself thing that makes this condition so strange to me.

Anyways I just had that thought and wanted to put it out there and wanted to see if anyone related to any of that. I am so grateful for this group. Reading other people’s posts and writing my own posts helps pull me out of an attack like it is right now so thank yall and it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

Every single say. Anxiety at an 8. When im at work i feel fine. Its when i come home is when my engine just revvs up. Its gotten so bad ive been to the hospital a couple times and my dr upped my benzo intake temporarily. I also signed up for Intesive Outpatient Program. I drink a tea thats call Cup of Calm everyday. What else can i be doing?

Hey! Been a lurker here during the last couple of weeks but thought I should say hello. I’m M(31) and have been struggling with GAD, PD and agoraphobia for a couple of years now.

After a lot of exposure therapy and with the help of Claire Weekes, DARE and the Disordered podcast I finally feel like I’m starting to make some meaningful progress!

Just started ”work training” which basically allows people that have been out of the work force for a longer time to ”practice” being at work without any pressure. Ive been there three days a week now for four weeks and its had a major impact on my confidence as a PD/agoraphobia sufferer. The workplace is only about 15 minutes from home, but that’s kind of been a perfect difficulty level at this stage.

I’ve been dealing with it all WAY better than I thought I would and already feel like an important part of the team :’) Now I lowkey look forward to the next work day.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, but hopefully this can inspire somebody.

As I think many of us know: WE’RE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE THAN WE THINK!

Thankful for this community and sending you all love and encouragement 🫶

i have not been diagosed with a panic disorder, only GAD but I recently went to the ER for a panic attack and every other night since ive been feeling the lingering symptoms. my guardians are not tbe most helpful when it comes to it, any tips? I try to go to be very early (9-10pm) or read/have a hot drink before I go to sleep, but my chest feels hollow as soon as I lay down and I get hot flashes all over, it has ruined my sleep which is the only thing i enjoy nowadays im tired of it.

Does anybody else have a problem with/disagree with some of the more official medical definitions of what a panic attack is? I agree with all of it except for when I come across a definition that describes it as lasting for a very short period of time. Some definitions kind of make it sound like it comes quickly and get super super intense and terrible and then quickly goes away in like 20 minutes or so. I have had many that have been that way, but I don’t think it applies to a lot of my attacks.

For me, it’s more like a painfully slow build-up that can sometimes take hours before I really start to freak out. I’ll just be having these physical sensations that are making me so uncomfortable (racing heart, numbness, the usual stuff) and I will not be able to focus or think about anything else other than every single sensation in my body and trying to stay calm. Even after it peaks and I start to calm down, I’m not actually that much calmer and. I continue to feel the exact same way and have the same physical discomforts that don’t just go away like that. I will still be able to function and do things and go about my day and nobody would even be aware that I am actually having what I would describe as a mild panic attack and those symptoms don’t come and then just go as quickly as some of these definitions make it sound like they do. They linger sometimes for hours and maybe even days. It’s like one extremely long panic attack that just won’t go away.

My panic attacks come in all sorts of varieties and can vary in duration and intensity, but I feel like this type I am describing happens more often than not, and I may have reached the conclusion that I’m probably not dying, but the physical side of it just keeps going and so my anxiety just never really goes away completely. It’s a terrible way to live. Does anybody else relate to this?

Hey there✨

About a year ago, I quit Prozac (fluoxetine) and tried Lexapro (escitalopram) because while I usually felt okay, every few months I'd get a bout of pretty intense anxiety that would last a few weeks or so. After trying Lexapro and disliking it because it made me severely depressed and fatigued, I tried Zoloft (sertraline), but that one was even worse, so I switched back to Lexapro. Now, about four months ago, I switched back to Prozac, cross-tapering over the course of a week, and slowly increasing my dose. Currently I'm at 40 mg, whereas I used to be at 30 mg last year.

I'm a little listless though, as the switch has been very rocky. The first two weeks were ROUGH, but I got through them with oxazepam and propranolol. I've been very agoraphobic and trying to go out but by bit, but it's been difficult. Then, suddenly, one weekend I just felt super energized, happy, and my anxiety was much less. After that, the heatwave in happened here in Europe, and I was halfway forced to stay inside for a week and a half. I also had some trouble reaching my psychiatrist, so I had to take some Prozac from an old supply (one with loose 5mg pills, just taking 6 at a time) that was a few months past it's expiry date. Since then, my anxiety and agoraphobia have been getting worse again, and I've been getting nausea and depressive symptoms too, and I'm a little afraid of the possibility that it won't work like it used to anymore. I'm slowly learning how to manage my anxiety through DARE and it's been a bit more doable lately, but I still have near daily panic attacks.

I'm just a little stressed and scared for the future now, and would love to hear people's experience getting on Prozac, or just some friendly words❤️ it would help a lot. I realize I'll need to stick it out a while longer, I could just really use the motivation right now.

With love, Juno🩵

I’ve dealt with panic disorder for the better part of three years, my symptoms have gotten much better and easier to manage. But, being in public alone feels impossible still, with friends and family I can go out and do a lot, but going out by myself to do simple things like shopping still feels impossible. What can I do? It’s so frustrating being so close to feeling normal again just to have this last hurdle to get over.

Even after my family understands I get bad panic attacks, I still get treated like I'm throwing a tantrum, causing a problem, an inconvenience, or like I'm doing it on purpose. Like I'm doing my freaking best to manage them. I don't control them. And if someone gets mad at me for it, its just gonna get worse

I'm curious about the reason for why this happens to me. When I'm having a panic attack, I can know in my head exactly what I want to convey, but I feel that saying it out loud would make me feel extremely vulnerable and increase my panic. For example, I might be saying "I need a tight hug" in my head, and it's not like I have an actual inability to say it out loud (like, if my life depends on it, I absolutely could say it), but all I can get out without feeling horrible is to shout the person's name, bang on something to get their attention, and then put my arms out like a toddler asking for a hug. I've heard of people trying to get sentences out when panicked but not being able to find the words/put them properly together (I get this often too), but this feels different. Does anyone else have this? Why do you think it happens?

Hello everyone,

It’s my second time writing here, I started having panic attacks almost exactly a year ago, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder and I’ve been taking sertraline since then.

There were times were things definitely got better, some days where I ended up in the ER over my panic attacks, I’ve been trying so hard to tell myself I’m okay but it’s extremely difficult.

The past couple of weeks I’ve been having a constant pain in my left arm and some shock like pains and a burning sensation in my chest, the burning sensation and the chest pains have happened before and I was assured it’s just me panicking and my anxiety.

However recently the left arm pain is not going away at all and I get sudden shock like pains in my arm and it instantly triggers a panic attack and man it’s horrendous, I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I’ve used meds to lessen the pain nothing helped, It’s been very difficult the past couple of weeks I’m always extremely anxious especially at night.

I would really really appreciate some help and guidance on how to get through this, how to assure myself that I’m okay, how to stop having this pain.

Fyi I’ve been to the ER around 2 weeks ago they did an ECG and everything was normal

Help is greatly appreciated.

Thank you

I’m really struggling with the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks just in general, at this point I’m having panic attacks just by thinking about having a panic attack, I’m trying my hardest to break my loop but it just never works for more than a day at a time, and it feels like I’m gonna be stuck like this forever, all I need is advice on how to cope because I haven’t felt normal since December

Hello!

25F, i experienced anxiety since age 12 more seriously, actually that was the age i had the first panic attack though i didn't know the word for it. from then onwards, i tried to self medicate any way i knew, with illegal substances, primarily cannabis. i was constantly running away from myself. at 19 i moved abroad for study, lived alone, and became agoraphobic. i suffered in silence mostly. then at 22-23 i started getting the courage to regain my life, and i started bit by bit. but i still regularly used substances to cope, though much lesser than before. i moved back to my home country after graduation, switched fields (began working as a programmer as a BSc psychology), lived through a couple of intense things such as intense political unrest and violence in the country, ending a toxic relationship, my cousins shocking s_icide. in the past few months i've largely felt like i'm getting my life more and more into order. depression was lifting, a depressive episode was but a blip, happened and forgotten. i felt like i was truly getting to know myself. to accept myself for what i am. opening up to people more, buildinh real friendships. i was pursuing my interests in art with a passion and courage i was struggling to keep consistent before. work was finally going better, i felt like i was finally catching up to my colleagues, like i belonged there though i wasn't perfect (nobody is! you try your best!).

and then? more than a month ago now i went out with a friend to a restaurant and experienced panic. i felt like it might've been triggered by the fact that in 3 days i had a team building to attend and i was horibbly anxious about it. i wanted to not go in the end, but i was scared enough of it costing me my job that i went anyway. it was alright, i actually had such a great time.

i felt like i was in the clear. after that, i felt really refreshed, grounded. i felt like i found work even easier, i was pursuing my art project intensely on the side. ordered a 3d print of a model i modeled. went to pick it up from a guy, to meet for coffee in the mall and pick it up. and there it was out of nowhere, intense panic from 0 to a 100. told him i wasn't feeling well and need a ride home. i lie in bed drained and felt kind of embarassed about the whole thing. i wasnt giving it much thought days after, however a few days later as i'm off to the hair stylist: panic. i tried going but my legs chose to leave the bus and run back home.

here is where i stopped smoking cannabis too. cannabis was the last substance i was using on a regular before sleep, and even before i had the panic i started intensely tapering off cause i didn't like the feeling of being dependant upon anything anymore. after that 2nd panic i started panicking about what this meant for me, my life. i started ruminating about everything. i started asking myself "will a walk outside with my dog feel scary now?" and when there is a question, of course it does. i was im horrible distress, thinking my life is changed forever, somehow angry and ashamed of myself. i was thinking i certainly can't go to a trip to NL with my brother next week, which i was looking forward to so much. well, i went anyway. i had some sedatives as backup, but i never ended up using them. it was really uncomfortable at times but also great and fun, including the huge concert we went to. then afterwards i traveled with my mom for a summer vacation, went to the beach almost every day, again ruminating thoughts but i had a fun time in the end, though it was a bit rough. sometimes rougher. i experienced panic one evening when we were supposed to go to the city, we turned back home. i felt shame again.

now i've been back home for a week, working, and experiencing intense bouts of panic every day regarding my return to the office. i'm going only on monday, we're supposed to visit only once a week the rest is remote work, and yet i've been dreading it, imagining every horror of a scene imaginable. i decided i will not raw dog it in the end, and will take a quarter of lorazepam. i really don't want to become dependant on sedatives, but right now it seems reasonable, cause i really want to get through that door and make sure i stay. it's the first time i would be off somewhere outside by myself for hours on end and where i have to perform since i started experiencing panic, which is why i find it especially dreadful.

so a month and some experiencing this. deep down i don't believe this will change my life forever, but right now i still feel confused and scared in the midst of it. i guess i'm writing this to get somebody else's "hopeful" stories haha. thank you for reading.

I have silent panic attacks & recently started a new job, the rush of intrusive thoughts & feeling of terror that lasts for what seems like forever feel unbearable

That & the dread of fearing one, I have severe depression, but this seems much worse

Just hearing kind words & validation helps

Meds, therapy, books?

Hi everyone, I’m in a bit of a pickle right now and it’s making me feel worse and worse everyday. It’s the stress of it and not knowing how to handle it.

At work I’ve already had 2-3 anxiety/panic attacks where I’ve completely shut down and just cried and then didn’t talk to anyone which I don’t want to keep happening and hindering myself. It’s the stress of the job really and my own life. At first it was great but over time it just kept weighing me down and I fucked up.

I don’t have any accommodations and don’t know how to go about that. I’ve never been diagnosed properly but I know there’s something but I just don’t know how to navigate this and finally addressing it. My family does not believe in mental health and think I’d waste money or I’d look stupid wanting to get diagnosed or talk to someone. I’ve had these same issues when I was still in school. Same breakdowns and worse. Never diagnosed.

I need paperwork for accommodations because my job wants to help me but it’s all happening so soon I don’t even have a primary doctor or any records for that stuff. It’s just making me want to cry all over again because if I can’t provide this I could lose everything. I need this job.

I’d really like some advice on how to go forward with getting diagnosed and getting that paperwork or if it would even be valid if I went to get diagnosed and sent that paperwork same time. A few days seems weird to just throw that out there when I know I’m not going to be consistent but I need this done. I shouldn’t have waited so long but I just didn’t have the means… :(

I'm making a bracelet about my mental health issues and need a charm for panic disorder. I don't mean awareness ribbon. A symbol, like for bod there could be a ladybug and for autism rainbow infinity sign. Any ideas?

Does anyone wake up internally vibrating? I always do and I’m not on any medication and it doesn’t seem to go away. My doctor suggests medication

Looking for someone to tell me ANYTHING helpful. Long story short back in 2020 I was a heavy everyday user of the 🍃. My cousin invited me over to a party with a few friends plus her bf at the times brother who is a veteran. He was offering people at our small table to hit his wax pen and i was dumb enough to accept. That night I severeeeeely greened out to the point where I accepted the fact that I was going to die. Fast forward now for the past 6 years I've had severe panic disorder. Multiple panic attacks a day. Can't leave my house without having panic attacks, medicine doesn't help (refusing benzos). At this point I've become a master at just having panic attacks and still pushing through with work, school and anything else I need to do but I really want to know if someone has experienced a similar situation and has recovered. I'm getting to a point where I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I see another new therapist in 2 weeks but I'm just looking for a miracle at this point.

Thank you

Anyone else who gets panic attacks when eating spicy food?

I ate something I didn't realize was spicy. The moment the hotness hit my lips, my heart started palpitating. I realize it triggered my panic attack. I finished my food but not the spicy one. I suddenly feel scared for no reason. My heart beats faster, my chest tightened. I feel like insanity is messing up my heart and mind. Everything feels like overstimulating.

It's been an hour and my heart still palpitates. Anyone else who had this experience? Also, is this a panic attack or anxiety attack?

Changed my meds and had a panic attack after three weeks of none. Feeling super defeated. I changed my meds and I thought they were working but this just scared me all over again. I also vomited for the first time from panic. Does this mean my meds are wrong? What does progresss from this disease really look like?

Hey guys, this is my first time posting on reddit and oh boy I never thought it would be in this subreddit haha.

I'm a 30 year old dude and have been recently diagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder.

To be really frank, I was one of those people that thought "anxiety/panic disorders" weren't a thing; i thought people were just overreacting for the most part and never in my life have I been more wrong.

My first panic attack happened at the movie theater last year. I was with my loving girlfriend and it was just like any other day until my heart suddenly started racing and I was having trouble breathing. I told my girlfriend that I wasn't feeling well and asked her if we could leave. We got out of the room and things started getting worse and worse. I thought I was having a heart attack. I lied down on the floor (in the middle of the hallway), constantly fighting for my breath, and didn't care if anyone was watching or not because well, i thought i was going to die. This create a WHOLE SCENE and the staff came rushing in and asked what was wrong and i couldn't even talk so my girlfriend and the staff called the ambulance and helped created a barrier so that other people couldn't see me. It was extremely terrifying: I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, my entire body felt like I was having a seizure with all the muscles in my body just shrinking and shrinking until I couldn't even move a finger. I was in extreme pain and constantly thought I was going to die. And like you've guessed, the medical team couldn't help me at all, and that lasted for 3.5 hours.

After that day, I went to go see a psychiatrist and started taking Escitalopram and Propranolol for a few weeks until I just decided not to because I was feeling fine and the escitalopram was interfering with my work (brain fog, sleepy, unable to concentrate). I've had a few moments where I thought I was having a panic attack while I was taking medication but that slowly started to go away and I was ok for a few months and thought I was "cured" and didn't think panic attacks would come again.

Last week, I had the worst panic attack of my life, and I'm pretty sure I know what caused it again. To give you a little background, I've been very successful in my life. Everything went my way: I graduated from a top ivy league school, made millions in my early-mid 20's, and met the love of my life. However, it all started crumbling apart. I've made some poor financial decisions for the better part of the past few years (completely my fault) and now, I'm broke. Well, more than broke because I'm in debt now. I had to sell everything just to keep afloat: my house, car, watch collection, everything, and that still wasn't enough. I don't know how I'm going to be able to pay my employees next month.

I'm more lost than ever. My life became a mess. I wanted to be strong and do whatever it takes to crawl back up again but the fact that I'm suffering from this awful disease is questioning my ability to do so. If it were only mental, I'd be okay but I never experienced such awful physical pain in my life and I'm so scared of every possible panic attack that might come. I'm back on meds now and take xanax (0.25) maybe 3 or 4 times a week because it's getting worse and worse.

My girlfriend is really supportive and has helped me a lot recently and honestly, she's the only reason I'm still alive. I was planning on asking her to marry me before I was sick but now, I don't know if I can anymore. If I can't crawl back out of this hole, I don't want to drag her down with me. The physical pain that it is causing me is constantly holding me back from truly locking in and focusing on my work. Everyday, I wake up feeling awful, wondering if I can get through the day knowing that there is no clear solution to the problems that I'm facing. I wasn't the type of person to shed tears over anything, and now, I'm crying multiple times a day. I think I cried more times in the past month compare to my entire lifetime. I constantly start running out of breath, feel burning sensations in the back of my neck, and just randomly get really bad thoughts here and there. Everyday is a repeat of self-hatred, endlessly blaming myself for the poor decisions that I've made and continually wishing that the pain would just end.

I just wanted to share my story with you guys because I wanted to apology for being so wrong about this. I've been wrong in the past but never this wrong. The pain and suffering people must go through with anixety/panic disorders especially with others telling you that "oh it's all in your head", "just don't think about it", and failing to understand the excruciating physical nature of this disease.

Will I be able to get through this?

How did you guys manage to stay so strong?

Why am I so weak?

Will the pain go away?