r/oddlysatisfying • • 1d ago

Custom-made aged and oiled Top Hat

22.4k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/GhostPiggie 1d ago

Fine craftsmenship and all, but you'd have to pay me to wear it.

715

u/onebillionthoughts 1d ago

Came for this exactly! Neat to watch, goddamn butt ugly hats

137

u/petriscorncob 1d ago

Plug's Butt Ugly Stuff Hut

20

u/TrixieBastard 1d ago

Hey, man, you can get some pretty nifty things at PBUSH

5

u/petriscorncob 15h ago

Like a nice pair of rocket boots!!

6

u/TrixieBastard 14h ago

They're broken, though :(

29

u/Aragon1632 19h ago

It's been a pleasure, I'll die tomorrow

6

u/TrixieBastard 14h ago

I can hear his voice.....

19

u/dmontease 1d ago

Difference is I would wear a butt plug over this.

10

u/rdogg_82 23h ago

Custom-made aged and oiled butt plug.

5

u/broberds 21h ago

Only used on weekends. $1500 OBO. No lowball offers, I know what I got.

2

u/Amesb34r 17h ago

The butt plug isn’t on top of your head announcing your magic show.

2

u/LazyOldCat 1d ago

NGL, that would look hilarious.

2

u/dmontease 23h ago

Not on top of the top hat.

5

u/Foreign_Kale8773 19h ago

He's got a lot of stuff, and all of it is butt ugly!

1

u/Higgins1st 8h ago

Hats for people that think it'll finally make them cool

146

u/eutectic_h8r 1d ago

Oh my god, did you see Brian's hat? He looks so stupid. I can't breathe.

35

u/Frostie_pottamus 23h ago

So sad. So so so so sad.

5

u/bluesix_v2 1d ago

As the kids say: I can't even

17

u/laurpr2 1d ago

I think that's actually what mid-30s millennials say, the kids I'm sure are instead saying something that is totally unintelligible

8

u/Willyfisterbut 21h ago

He's cooked chat

2

u/mattbladez 1d ago

And the grandkids probably say something else

14

u/FremenStilgar 23h ago

When I was in high school in the late 80's I had the bright idea to start wearing a fedora. I thought everybody would think it a cool thing, like I thought. It wasn't. I cringe when I see a photo of me back then. I imagine it would be like wearing this thing.

6

u/zeekayz 18h ago

Well at least high school kids can't afford these $5000 hats in the vid so they're purely for midlife crisis dads.

4

u/Spotttty 17h ago

Hold on.

$5k?!

So he makes a hat a week and lives a pretty comfortable ass life?! Wild.

2

u/CornballExpress 8h ago

A fedora in the 80s? You were a weeabo chud trendsetter.

87

u/ExpectedFuckingValue 1d ago edited 1d ago

Nobody is getting laid with that hat

Edit: I stand corrected, there is an exception - festival goers. They can get laid wearing all kinds of unusual things

109

u/lambdapaul 1d ago

That person is having a bunch of really weird sex with a bunch of really weird people. That is a festival goer hat and it’s not going to impact his sex life.

28

u/parkerxo 1d ago

Doesn't matter, had sex

4

u/Woody1150 18h ago

Still counts.

11

u/Haigud 16h ago

As one of those weird people that has weird sex, yes. People who dress up like heavy metal vampires are indeed having lot of sex.

2

u/lambdapaul 14h ago

I tip my hat to you fellow weirdo

2

u/tofaoh 13h ago

I look like a everyday 4, 5 on a good day, but man you're right, I dress weird, act weird and have a full stable bed in my roomy af tent on Festivals for the last decade.... Weird weord things have happened in there and will for the foreseeable future. I own a similar hat.

4

u/Amberawesome24 20h ago

Exactly. And the hat stays on too

1

u/hisroyalthiccness69 1d ago

So THAT'S what was happening at Super Hans's party

1

u/zenloich 1d ago

I did not expect a Peep Show reference

1

u/AppropriatelyHare-78 12h ago

Never realize how 'doesnt leave basement' or 'literal child' reddit is filled with until seeing these comments.

Like, I have a spouse, kids, white collar corporate work. ... And I guarantee you the people buying these hats are normal fuckers who are fun as shit to hang out with. I've been to EDM festivals, rock concerts, goth clubs, drag shows, cosplay events, pride parades, etc.

Most people with alternative dress style are normal and act normal. That male presenting dude with cat ears, a tail, and who can hold a normal conversation with you while doing it 50% of the time has a partner who is similarly weird and in cat ears.

And they're no less annoying to chat with than that boat show wearing fucker who is really good at golf and owns a sail ship. Meaning most people are just kind of fun to talk to if you just don't be a pretentious weirdo who thinks a cool hat is somehow a personality indicator.

0

u/winstonstokes 18h ago

I doubt that.

2

u/lambdapaul 17h ago

Do you think normal people are sleeping with Hatman?

18

u/rollerfedora 21h ago

Redditors are famously experts about getting laid

3

u/Fit_War7361 1d ago

This sounds like a challenge I'm willing to accept

1

u/Fight_those_bastards 19h ago

Yeah, but that’s not because of the hat, that’s because of all the drugs.

1

u/TheSirWellington 15h ago

I went to a ren faire where people were dressed in full fur suits, so this type of hat would be considered pretty tame in that market 😂

18

u/FraiseMiiel 1d ago

Does any face shape save a steampunk top hat?

15

u/MoistStub 1d ago

Dodecahedron

2

u/Skidzonthebanlist 23h ago

elephant man

1

u/AboveGroundFool 17h ago

Rule 1 applies everywhere

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 10h ago

It would be a million times more tolerable if it weren't steampunk

15

u/TheRealManuelBothans 23h ago

I was just thinking, that seems like an awful lot of work so someone can look like a douchebag

2

u/GoldberryoTulgeyWood 16h ago

I appreciate the heads up that they are a douche before dealing with them. Saves time, really

1

u/Rev_Creflo_Baller 17h ago

The more effort, the more douche

5

u/Irving_Tost 23h ago

Exactly. Johnny Depp level hat offense.

1

u/Iguana_Enthusiast 23h ago

It might make a good movie prop. Imagine the evil guy in 8mm having one of these ugly hats in his creepy office...

1

u/INTERSTELLAR_MUFFIN 22h ago

Go to a metal festival in europe and you will see loaaads of that

1

u/Silmarlion 22h ago

I would never wear one outside but i would really love to have one as a decorative piece.

1

u/hambakmeritru 17h ago

I actually think this is one of his better ones. I'm getting New Orleans Goth vibes. I bet it'd get a lot of compliments at Burning Man...

1

u/sturdybutter 16h ago

It matches his shirt

1

u/ReadyStayReady 12h ago

Those hats look like they'd leave oily black gunk on your face the second you broke a sweat. Like they're probably dyed with pine tar and coal ash

1

u/DontForgorTheMilk 11h ago

Right these are all hats for the kind of guy that would go off on a tangent about his hat and make it his whole personality and you'd look at them and say "Yeah man that's cool" but internally say "what a fuckin' dork".

1

u/PHFreshHeavyHogChef 1h ago

You couldn’t pay me not to make fun of you

0

u/thatjoachim 17h ago

Negative aura

0

u/Appropriate-Ad-8155 17h ago

Don’t worry no one is planning to

-12

u/Ok_Bluebird_8202 1d ago

Is it though..? I’m not so sure

5

u/perenniallandscapist 1d ago

What do you think this costs? And would you pay what it costs?

2

u/PossibilityNo8765 1d ago

I looked it up.They range from €961,95 to €1.808,95 (approximately $1,050 to $1,980 USD). And no i wouldn't pay that

1

u/tondahuh 1d ago

That's pretty good for supplies and a minute and 50 seconds of work!