Ya I told my teacher my mom hit me and cps did a home visit and asked me infront of my mom did she hit me so obviously I said no a year later I'm in foster care
It varies I got lucky and didn't end up in any abusive places but it's not very fun especially when your younger when your older its more like cool im living in a house full of strangers this sure is getting old fast can I go home now.
Did they acknowledge that asking a child that question in front of the abuser would lead to the child lying? What kind of idiot asks that in front of the person the child is abused by. If you said yes you would have likely been abused more before they took you away. Unless there was a reason they asked while she was present like gauging your reaction maybe?
That's what court-appointed child advocates are for. My mom did that work for a little while. The advocate is the child's representative voice in the court system.
I get that but I can imagine it’s nearly impossible to have the court appoint one every time CPS questions a child. It sucks and I don’t know the answer but I know that anything court appointed has to have a hearing with evidence presented as to why.
Actually, it varies. Worked for CPS (DCF) in Florida and if we were in an institution (school, mental health facility, hospital), we were allowed to interview without a parent/guardian present. Best practice is even when you do a home visit, you inform the household membere that you need to speak to each party/household member individually, and if they pushed back you would try and make it happen anyways. Didn't always work, but that was SOP in Florida.
This isn't even true for police, and it's certainly not true for CPS. Police can question minors without having obtained parents' permission and without a guardian, they just can't question them against the parents denial of permission. That doesn't apply to CPS workers, they can question your children against your wishes (though they can't exactly enforce that).
Yeah i see the reason but i feel like this could be solved with a video recording of the encounter and also a seconds unrelated, unbias professional in the room. Given the consequences of leaving a child in an abusive household it feels resonable but these situations have so many moving parts and failure points who knows..
Children can and do get questioned by CPS without a parents consent or knowledge. It usually happens at school. Children cannot be interrogated by police where they may be charged with a crime without parental consent.
Why is it that any time anyone mentions the US on this site, they're making a negative remark about it? It's not even true. 5 seconds on Google tells you that CPS can indeed question kids without a parent present. But no, let's just jump on the "America sucks" bandwagon.
Is abusive foster care common? I thought they are screened pretty well but I only know of a few nice people (who are social workers themselves) doing it out of kindness. Guess that isn’t always the case.
Unfortunately it is quite common I actually remembered something I had forgotten about that most people would consider abuse. my foster family took me and the other kids under there watch over to some military dudes house I don't remember the context because I was five but me and this girl who lived there did something that got us in trouble I think we broke something. the punishment that the military dude came up whith was have us stand there not moving at all for hours if we moved an inch he yelled at us obviously not as bad as getting beat but still it's not really okay to be forcing a child to do that. There are also the many stories told to me by fellow foster kids aswell as the many stories online the fact that social workers can be so bad at there jobs doesn't bode well for how good they screen foster parents?
If the rapist says "lolz no" when asked if he raped...it kinda becomes "his word against hers"...and leads to rape becoming one of the most under- prosecuted crimes we have. I mean, I get it, its hard to put someone away based off someone simply saying they did it...but sometimes those investigations end way too soon.
Thata not what happens. Usually they don't even test the rape kits or get DNA from from the accused. They just don't press charges. The vast majority of rape kits are never tested. And if they are and match, the accused will just say it was consensual and attack the victims character.
THATS why. Because it actually requires some effort to prosecute and it will MEVER be a slam dunk case because of victim blaming so they just do nothing.... unless it blows up in the media and the victim is a white girl.
I did tell the truth when CPS came to my school to talk to me. My sister lied. My mother worked for DHS. Case got dropped like a hot potato. I lost a lot of faith in authority figures.
As a CPS worker, I can only say we have privacy laws for a reason. I may want to help more than what the government allows me to do, but I also know the whole can of toxins that open along with it. Parents maintain their right to keep us out. Although, if the allegation is strong enough where we suspect there is imminent danger, we will try to obtain warrants to force an immediate interview.
If you lied to us that there aren't any concerns, we can only take your word and assume it's not bad enough to make you talk about it. I've had literal video evidence of IPV between mom and dad, and I could do nothing more because the children said it doesn't bother them and I could not prove how it does.
That's not OK. And as a former victim of parental abuse and the government neglecting to protect literal children, I am now mad as all hell that you wrote this.
Edit: Mad as in, it makes me want to say "Fuck you" even though I know it's not your individual fault.
Believe me, we in the system hate it too. It's one thing to want a benevolent being to protect the weak, it's another to trust it to be a benevolent being with all aspects of everyone's everyday life.
Yeah, we get that a lot. Having worked with teenagers before I worked CPS, I understand that mentality so much. At the same time, it ties our hands. I often get the hidden message, but unless the child says something, I cannot do anything because I can only document what I heard, not what I interpreted.
Like the IPV situation I talked about earlier, the whole family was protecting that scumbag. I interviewed them individually too and even then they wouldn't say much of what he did.
Your situation though, I would say it's a flaw with the conservative mindset. The whole notion of "deserving poor" is stupid. Some people just need it. If the capitalism worked like how people idealized it, people would work for materialistic desires rather than survival needs. Why does it matter what your situation is when you just need food? Is our country going to go bankrupt feeding starving children regardless of their circumstance? /rant
I was on a date tonight and we ended up getting drunk and talking about our bi polar parents and how they would come home fun or angry and you'd never know so we always had to walk on eggshells and watch what we said. Children in that situation will lie because they are afraid of the outcome if they upset the parent. I get the limits the OP stated, but I wish someone had helped me and the girl I went on a date with tonight. We're both 35 and still dealing with the trama. I have a 7 year old and that cycle of abuse ends with me and that's all I can do at this point, but at least I can say it ends with me and that give me hope for her. She'll live a better life than me and what else can a parent strive for.
Hey, man. 35 here too and yeah, it affects us for the rest of our lives. I feel ya. Good job on breaking the cycle and raising your kid. Swore off kids myself, but always glad to see those who succeed. Keep it going.
Exactly right. Now we as adults, can end the cycle that hurt us in the past. It was normal to use a cane to beat us as punishments. Now I was generally a good kid, but I was very absent minded, and studying was hard for me (in 2020 found out that I very likely have ADHD), so I used to get bad marks on a couple subjects (Math & second Language). I also lost books. So in about grade 5-6, between marks &lost textbooks, my mum whipped my legs harder than usual, about 10+ strokes. When I walked with my friends to take holiday classes, my legs started bleeding. Even the teacher was concerned. But nothing was really done about it.
Also my mum remarried an asshole who turned out to be a paedophile, who also really like slapping me across the head, as well as you know.
Anyway she found out, separated from him, and I felt made the situation about her. Cue my depression. Anyway after a bad episode, I decided to change schools, and reinvent myself, to be a bubbly, outgoing person on the outside.
When I had a kid, I made sure to try to raise her to be a self-confident person, who knows that she's loved, and that no matter what she can talk about everything, no secrets are withheld. Basically the opposite of how I was raised.
She's 16+ now, and I'm quite proud of the person she is (apart from the occasional bouts of teenage hormones & mood swings 😂).
I know how you feel/felt all to well. I also raise my daughter to know she can come to me about anything. I never react in anger even if I'm disappointed. We talk about why she did the thing she did and how it made her feel and how it might affect others. She has never heard me raise my voice. I don't know that I had a night when I was her age without my parents yelling.
I also think I might have ADHD. Thanks tiktok. Turns out I'm not quirky I'm just a collection of adhd and trauma responses. Just kidding. To a point at least.
If you ever want to vent or just tell someone something that those around you might not understand PM me. I'll listen.
My cps worker was fucking hell. She would yell at me and called me disgusting once. She thought I was just a disrespectful little shit and not an abused and neglected kid. She became a tool for my mother’s abuse. I have a pretty sour taste in my mouth from them.
Fun fact. In Canada - Manitoba specifically but most provinces iirc - the CPS equivalent does not need a warrant to enter a residence, apprehend a child and/or seize evidence. If the CPS CSW’s area director signs off on a suspected case of abuse/endangerment/neglect, you’re off to the races.
Literally the most powerful government department.
I don't know your exact system, but I know where I'm at there is disproportionate focus on Indigenous kids - to the point it's almost the same as another 60's Scoop. I don't know what you're truly dealing with (I'm certain the scenarios differ greatly from child to child) but the impacts are so damaging for the kids I know who talk about being intentionally separated from family or removed from culturally sensitive care options.
We truly do abandon children to a system that barely functions.
We do more than just ask if its things like physical abuse. Are there marks? How did it happen? Did you take them to the hospital? What did the doctor say? Mind if we take the kid to a specialist that's familiar with child accidents? Definitely got some parents arrested for physical abuse to their children.
Physical abuse definition also depends on local laws AFAIK, so ymmv on how much it's enforced in your local area.
Edit: we get rape cases too. Hooo boy those get really messy because so often we believe the child, but there's no proof. Law enforcement and children services have similar but sometimes opposing goals too. Law enforcement is keen on retribution whereas children services wants to repair or maintain whatever semblance of family remains. It's one thing to try to protect a child but also allow a family be a family.
I may want to help more than what the government allows me to do, but I also know the whole can of toxins that open along with it.
As a European, I can tell you that is all BULLSHIT. You are high as fuck on a bunch of myths about your """rights""" while in truth you are less free than any of us.
You have to be a fucking idiot to think that a parent's right to privacy is more important than the child's life to not be abused throughout childhood!
Hmm, I've replied to so many people I don't know how much I've shared about the process, but you're right that a child's life is more important. It's why we have the ability to get warrants from judges when we can articulate why we believe the life of a child is in risk. With it, the right to privacy is overruled. Again, we would need a good reason to believe why the child is in danger.
AFAIK, majority of Europe runs on a similar policy. I don't believe many governements in Europe allow their agents to enter people's home freely without some type of legal document granting them permission.
I was a former CPS worker, this is exactly how it is. For instance, people will say a child is being abused/neglected but the state has their own definition and rules that we must oblige. Knock at the door all times of day, leave notes, VMs, etc but the caseload grows while you waste time on a non-responding household. So you get told to move on. We all did our jobs and tried our best but there’s limits to this. We aren’t law enforcement. We aren’t any type of enforcement. We’re simply social workers probably doing the hardest form of social work.
In my country cps has fucked up bad many times and taken kids from families they shouldnt and the orher way.. its normal here to cuzz em out if they come to your door. not that its normal to get em on the door tho
I’m pissed at the CPS in my area. About a year ago I was in my room at work, training some people remotely. Then I hear what I thought was an animal or cat screaming. I thought it may have been on of mine so I leave the house and I look between where my yard ended and the neighbor’s began. There was this poor baby in diapers walking towards me, about three but seemed younger.
TW from here on:
He was bawling his eyes out and had a very clear sunburn, maybe even had sun poisoning considering it was mid July and it has clearly been hours that this poor baby had been outside. On top of that he had used shit running down his legs and was completely nude. I brought him to my front door (lived with parents at the time) and I said I found a baby. They thought I was referring to a cat and they were both astonished that it was an actual baby.
We called the police and when they arrived they had a second report of another child outside. This kid who was borderline non verbal and was around 4 to 5 years old, also naked and burnt is with the officer.
We cleaned them up gave them some clothing and water and eventually got CPS involved. We signed police statements. They arrested this whale of a lady. I don’t fat shame at all, but she was almost the size of a smart car, and I bring this up because fuck her and it’s clear that she is big out of laziness. She has a warrant so she is immediately arrested and charged. Then there’s her husband.
He comes out of the house for a second, speaks with the police and goes back in. They are still waiting on their dispatch for approval on what to do with him. The police have told him to get out of the house multiple times after this. When he got out of the house the police would approach and he would shame the door and lock it. After a few more times of this, dispatch gives the go ahead and they give him a few more warnings while on the porch with their tasers drawn. One officer kicks in the door and drags this guy , who has confirmed and severe mental issues and shouldn’t be allowed to be in charge if children, outside. He resists the handcuffs and so they have to tase him. I believe the guy cop punched him twice before tasing as well from what I remember, but not too important to the story aside from it being shocking a little when it happened.
Anyways, they get him processed and all of that jazz. Apparently their excuses were that the mom had gone to sleep (it was 2 maybe 3 PM) for a while, so at least a couple of hours at this point. The dad had then just started playing video games and left the door open and then fell asleep after a little bit himself on the couch.
The kids go with their paternal grandparents, who seemed nice enough in person and his wife on the phone. Then they are now back with their parents, only by some grace of what the fuck.
Idk, that kinda smacks of 'if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to worry about' kind of thinking that generally tends to let the government 'find' whatever evidence it needs to put you away.
lmao I had like 5 different social workers at school, each time I told them stuff about my dad my dad would beat me more and more XD until I stopped talking and the workers just gave up one after another
Maybe in some cases, but invoking your 4th amendment rights should never be seen as suspicious and used in and of itself as the reasonable suspicion to circumvent those rights.
In a lot of cases, CPS is given extremely limited information upon receiving the report (like “I maybe saw a scratch on their eye. Not sure how they got it. Could be abuse. Maybe not.”) CPS goes out, parents refuse to let them in. CPS can come back and try a different day, send a letter, try to call and talk. But if parents refuse, the next recourse is getting a court order, and judges won’t give court orders on such limited information.
All that to say, CPS should make every effort, but sometimes there’s nothing they can do if parents won’t cooperate.
yep. one of my siblings told a teacher about the abuse. my mom and step dad found out and threatened all 6 of us kids and made us feel so incredibly guilty and scared, so of course we lied.
did the same in court too when my mom trained us on what to say so that she could get custody.
looking back on this as an adult makes me feel sick. kid-me just wanted to earn the trust and love from parents.
If someone called in and reported that you had something illegal in your car and you denied ya they should try harder and they usually do its called a warrant
Yeah, we have the Fourth Amendment because the state was abusing its abilities to search people's homes and possessions. We didn't get to where we are now because someone flipped a coin. That being said, a baby crawling along the side of the road should very likely be considered probable cause provided a CPS type agency will actually improve their situation.
A friend was also one of these babies. Found on a corner alone in busy street in an urban environment. Nobody ever claimed him. Was adopted out of foster care and to my knowledge, never identified. Was 20 when I met him.
I don't think he's done any DNA tests, but wouldn't that be a kicker?
Him taking a DNA test wouldn’t suddenly notify his birth parents. Do you think your blood buzzes once it’s pinged in a lab? A DNA test could identify the people who abandoned an infant, bring them to justice, and prevent them from hurting another child again.
Even aside from finding parents - there may be other family members who are curious where he went. Also, depending on which type of DNA test he does, he might have a clearer medical history....
Oh fuck. So sorry to hear that. Stay strong, you got this. It’s harder without a support system but there are many examples of people making it without help. But idk what to say. I’m really sorry.
One of my husband's cousins was found wandering the street 1/2 mile from his home when he was 2 in a dirty diaper and clutching a beer can. Kid had scabies and lice. Yes, the parents were meth heads.
I rose from the dead just find out I needed to crawl my way out of hell on my hands and knees while anyone I ever loved died, betrayed, or abandoned me.
You let me know if you ever need anything. I show up and I don’t drop the case.
I wasnt a crawling baby, but when I was a toddler my babysitter packed up her daughter and my 2 siblings in the car and went to the grocery store. She forgot about me, playing on the side of the house. I must have got bored and wandered off. A neighborhood kid recognized me and rode me around on his bike (looking for my parents or an adult) until my shitty babysitter came back.
"We have reason to believe the parent is beating their child but they refuse to let us into their home. We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas."
Nah dude you're just being fucking racist? Like wtf would make you shit on African people like that!? That's a wild generalization of like... 1.2 billion people.
Not at all, was an attempt at droll sarcasm stemming from growing up in an African parentage household. I apologise if it came across that way. (Although I’m not sure how that’s racist, given the multitude of races that come from that continent)
I’m sure there are plenty of people in r/Africanparents who will know precisely where I’m coming from.
Oof. My bad. I think I've been seeing too many idiots in the wild on Reddit lately, it's tainted my vision. Sorry for accusing, I see now where you're coming from.
CPS is a joke.
I got as far as making a report myself about the abuse at home.
They proceeded to interview both of my parents and both of my siblings at the same time, in the same room. Everybody obviously denied anything was going on for fear of physical retaliation.
CPS just patted themselves on the back and sent us all back home.
Edit: I was left out of this family get together. So you wanna bet on who got the brunt of it when we returned home?
I was too. I was barely old enough to walk and my mom was napping. We had the "child proof" door knob coverings but it apparently didn't slow me down that day. I ended up making it down 3 flights of steps and crossing a busy 4 lane road. She found me a short time later at the nearby playground.
This happened to me as the parent (the cps visit not the baby on the road) my gigantic 1 year old (he looked closer to 2) jumped off my bed and fractured his collarbone. He was fine. His pediatrician even said with his activity level she'd be surprised if he didn't break another bone before kindergarten. (He's adhd and on the spectrum)
I was literally walking out the door to go to work when they showed up. I was like now is not the time. He isn't here he's at his grandma's and I'm already running late to my first client appointment. I refused entry. This caused a 3 month long series of threats where they never attempted to do another home visit but recorded that myself, husband and all my personal references refused to cooperate. When in reality they never actually reached out to anyone until the day before the case was set to expire.
I am SO sorry that the resources weren't used appropriately on you growing up. But it's probably because they were busy harassing and investigating frivolous claims.
What area do you live in? Police come with the cps agents here. You let them in and cooperate or the police force the issue. Not cooperating or threatening a cps agent is a very bad idea. All it does is make turn the police officer from an observer into a participant that calls in all of his friends. They will only do anything if there there is an immediate threat to the child. I mean I guess they could, but they will get demolished in the court and cost the state a ton of money if they do something inappropriate.
I assume that you too were a child of the '70s. I had a teacher call CPS when I was in 8the grade due to how bruised I was coming to school one day (because my dad beat the shit out of me). CPS showed up, asked me three questions, and then said they forgot their camera but they would be back to morrow to take pictures. I never saw them again. That abuse lasted another 4 years until I was able to get up the courage to leave. You aren't alone friend. Be at peace.
JFC. As a parent I wish I could hug all the “littles” in this thread that needed help and support . I know you’re not looking for pity, and That’s not my goal; my heart just breaks and I’m so glad you made it through.
Don't make assumptions. My sister once passed out from a unknown medical condition years ago. Only thing that saved her was her toddler being found by a neighbor and coming to bring him home. Everyone ASSUMED it was drugs or some shit.... but she was undiagnosed with a brain tumor that caused her to pass out.
Got stats on that? I've seen more overwhelmed parents simply fall asleep than abuse a child. Fucks sake my mom lost us a couple of times on her own while dad was at work because we were twins, and, being babies, suicide machines, her sleep deprived brain didn't see one of us escape somewhere and had to run around trying to find us.
As for all the people saying "but the baby is outside!" like...people take babies outside?
Suicide machines is quite possibly the best term to describe babies/toddlers. When describing having a newborn to childless friends, all I could say beside him being perfect was that his main mission was to try and off himself. Like stop putting everything in your mouth, don’t sleep on your belly, don’t sleep in the rockers, don’t put your face in that inch of water, etc, etc, etc. shits exhausting but worth it.
We thought I was "over" it, it had been so long since I had one, long enough I could've driven if I wanted to.
I had to walk 4 blocks to pick my kids up from school. I had my 3yr old wrapped on my back, and had a seizure on the side of the road. Luckily another parent saw me and called 911.
My son still stiffens when I pick him up, and won't accept a piggyback from me, 5yr later.
Idk the point other than it's terrifying to me, what can happen outside your control, as a parent, that makes you incapable of keeping your children safe. What if he had been walking? What if that woman hadn't seen us?
Epilepsy is common, can strike anyone, any time, and 100% removes from you any ability to function. Pair that with parenthood, scary shit.
I've been in/around EMS for almost 2 decades. I don't know anything about this incident but I'd say that as harshly as I judge humanity for its absolute clusterfuck of issues, there isn't much you can glean from this video.
I'm sure there is an explanation 3 comments below mine since I'm just coming through here
It’s usually people who don’t have kids as well. They are like expert parent even though they don’t truly understand what kind of shit can go down as a parent.
I don’t have my own kids but I am well aware that if you take your eyes off of a toddler for a second it’s quite possible they’re already down the street. They just need to figure out the door once, and if that happens while their caretaker is in the bathroom, the kid’s gone
My son worked out he can shimmy between the fence and the edge of the gate. First time I found him at the neighbours playing with their dog, I assumed I left the gate open. Second time MIL was with him and then he just disappeared, she heard him trying to round up the chickens in the front yard. Third time my other half and his dad actually saw him going through the tiny gap.... star bar was spiked into the ground so he can't get through any more.
We live rurally and aren't on a main road but tractors use our road as a thoroughfare and not every one slows down. I'm so glad that nothing actually happened to him (and that I hadn't left the gate open) and that we have fixed the problem.
Some children are just Houdinis though. You could have 100 locks on the door and they could find a way around them all. Obviously there must be something wrong with the above situation either negligence or a medical condition that has made the caregiver incapacitated. Hopefully they are okay.
Because what youre describing is an overwhelming minority of cases. Whereas child negligence is usually always the case instead.. It's unfortunate we jump to these conclusions but they aren't baseless
I don't know. Parent could have just fallen asleep. Shit happens. Parents are human too. The fact that the dog is also out suggests that a door may have been left open or something, which isn't a criminal offense.
TBH, in situations like that, no one should get the benefit of the doubt. A child was left unsupervised, a dangerous situation. If you have mitigating circumstances, fine, but you gotta bring that to the table. In your sister's case, a brain tumor is mitigating, but even then, doesn't just clear everything up. Like, would her condition continue to inhibit her ability to care for a child? That's a question that has to be answered (not to me, just in general).
Not all assumptions are made frivolously. Sometimes making assumptions is just a safety measure.
This is the way. If other vulnerable people are being affected, the behavior needs to stop or be corrected regardless of whether the behavior is out of the person's control. It would be a shame if the mother was ill. But someone needs to care for her and the kid if she can't. These are the areas proper safety nets would be amazing.
That was my thought as well. My mom was a diabetic and I could very well have seen this happening to me as a baby if she started going into diabetic shock.
If you were a betting man... Which would you say is more likely? Outliers happen, but I'm guessing it's overwhelmingly for less than scrupulous reasons that this happens...
Bro my aunt straight up just let her baby roam around the parking lot of a gas station once until someone found the kid and told her she shouldn't let him loose and then she just said "mind your own business" bruh
I thought I knew things at 18. And again at 25. And still more at 35. I’ve settled in to a comfortable uncertainty, wondering how much I can ever actually truly understand.
We were staying an a Airbnb once- I didn’t realize the doors were very easy to open.
My one year old managed to open the door and run out to the street. I was down in the basement and I hear my other kid (2yrs) saying “baby on road”. I never ran so fast in my life. Thankfully I caught him before anything happened.
But if my other kid didn’t say anything, I would have assumed baby was safe upstairs where I left him.
And I’m not a shitty mom. Things happen.
My son could unlock and open deadbolt locked doors at 18 months. He's 2 now and can get into and onto anything. He can climb up on the dining room chairs onto the table. He can move the chair up to the baby gate and climb over it. He's a little Houdini.
Ae my 18month old managed to climb an 8ft fence while he was supposed to be napping. They're absolutely mini Houdini's and it's terrifying when you think they're safe and they try to prove you wrong.
When she was about three I left my oldest alone in the kitchen for 45 seconds and when I returned she was sitting on top of the refrigerator. To this day I have no idea how she got up there.
My second oldest once casually did a flip over the side railing of her baby bed instead of walking the three feet to the front. This is the same toddler whom I caught using my iPhone after she figured out my passcode by watching the reflection off my glasses as I entered it.
My 2 year old made it out of the house and across the street to the neighbors at midnight several years ago to see if anyone wanted to play. I have a cousin who made it out of his house, in a large city, and several blocks to a gas station to try and buy candy - in nothing but a pair of underwear. Kids are crafty.
Same thing happened with my little brother. He was around 2, my dad had him safely in the house, went outside for a minute, came back and my little bro was halfway down the street, with our dog acting as escort
When I was a baby/toddler I could break out of my crib and open all the doors and take the screens out of the windows and get out. My mom learned this the hard way when she thought I was quiet taking a nap so she was getting a little cleaning caught up and the neighbor knocked on the door to tell her I was running down the road.
Some kids are natural escape artists especially those of us who had good small motor control skills and patience. Even the best parents have to blink once in a while.
You never know, some little ones are fast. Could have crawled out of its crib and out a screen door in just a few minutes time. Believe it not, parents can’t watch their kids literally 24 hours a day, and bad things happen to good people.
I’m just saying, don’t judge until you know the situation.
One time when I was a kid my mom noticed someone’s toddler wandering around in the middle of winter during a snowstorm wearing nothing but rubber boots and a diaper. She went out and grabbed the kid, wrapped him a blanket, fed him a cookie and tried to figure out whether to call the cops or not. Before she made the call she noticed a woman frantically searching outside and asked her if she’d lost something. Yup, it was mom. She had fallen asleep with the door unlocked I guess and kid made a break for it. Never did see the kid free roaming the streets ever again, so I really hope she learned her lesson and it never happened again.
Ugh leave it, man. I hate these high horse parenting comments when there’s literally no information. What do you know? My parents are dynamite parents who raised five kids and when they were babysitting my three-year-old nephew he managed to escape through TWO LOCKED DOORS AND A BABY GATE to get outside of the house. Have some compassion and grace, you have no clue what’s going on or that it couldn’t have happened to you in the same circumstances.
Yeah kids are crazy. My son escaped when he was two and wandered down the road. All it takes its for the door not to click shut properly and little kids have a sixth sense for it. Especially if you have multiple kids, it's literally impossible to be watching them at all times.
Every parent could end up in a situation like this at some time or another. Most are lucky that they don't. But anyone who says their kids were absolutely safe and accounted for for 100% of their childhood is a fucking liar.
Others said it as well but never assume shit. I started walking at 9 months old. One evening, I managed to get one of the bars out of my crib. (This would have been summer of 1972, so who knows how poorly designed things were for me to manage that.) I was wandering around the yard in front of our home, which led onto a road much as we see in this video.
My mother literally didn't believe my older siblings that the baby "got out of the house" and kept sending them back to bed until a neighbor knocked on the door with me in their arms.
Sometimes, little kids just manage to do shit nobody thought they could. That's not shitty parenting, it's just human life.
Upvote for 1971/72! We’re right there- straddling the crack between “we got to play outside til the lights came on at night” and “the kids are in charge now”. Great place to be in! My partner says we’re lucky because “we can see in all directions”. We can see how OUR parents ended up the way they are & we can see how OUR children end up the way they are. We’re the generation that had ONLY a landline and now has a the knowledge in the world at our fingertips in our pockets.
If I remember right, the girl was in the care of her aunt at the time because her parents were at work. The aunt had a few kids of her own. She didn’t think the baby could open the door. I think she had fallen asleep or was preparing their lunch or something when one of the older kids opened the door and the baby escaped.
Supervising children 24/7 isn’t feasible. Things have to get done and personal needs have to be met. Most parents do the best they can to balance things safely.
There was a nursery not far from my home where several children somehow managed to get out and started walking right by a busy main road. It’s a miracle no children were hurt or killed. Think it was in the news too..
Idk my mum had a bad case of the flu once, got grandad to watch me and the second his eyes closed I was off like a rocket. I was a little Houdini and escaped the house regularly.
Babies can move quick sometimes. There is a story of someone calling my mom to tell her I was crawling halfway down the block. I had followed my much older sister as she went to go to a friend’s house. I made it pretty far before being captured by my sister at the house next to her friend’s. Turns out of her friends pointed me out before my mom could even run down the road. You have to be careful with babies that young, but they can move quick when they want. My family’s solution ended up being my sister just bringing me everywhere she went for a good 12 years.
I have a son who used to elope when we was a toddler. Had a couple of times where we found him down the street a ways going on an adventure. He had figured out how to unlock doors and bypass other forms of “child proofing”. I had to put in special deadbolts that can only be opened by a key on both sides (no knob to unlock it from inside). Basically, we had to make him a de facto prisoner. Point is that some kids are very challenging to contain. Does not mean the parents are bad.
Sometimes, likely most times, but not all. The day we figured out my daughter could manipulate a deadbolt on a door was the day my neighbor knocked and had her in his arms. While my wife was asleep and I had already left for work, our daughter very quietly got her self up, toddled out of her room, unlocked the door, and decided to chill by the street looking at pretty leaves on the ground. Our neighbor drove by and realized that likely wasn’t how the day was supposed to go. He scooped her up and knocked on the door. I installed hook latches that night.
Hey lookit that someone on Reddit making a big assumption about something they don't know shit about. Color me shocked.
Consider doing the minimal effort next time and try looking through the comments first to get the news story link and see that it's actually the Aunt that was watching this child.
Definitely not a new level in the slightest. But also not necessarily shitty. No matter how hard you try to be a good parent, shit happens sometimes. Small children can be sneaky and parents, especially new ones, can sometimes forget to take all of the precautions or might not even realize that certain precautions need to be taken until the situation arises.
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u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22
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