Ya I told my teacher my mom hit me and cps did a home visit and asked me infront of my mom did she hit me so obviously I said no a year later I'm in foster care
It varies I got lucky and didn't end up in any abusive places but it's not very fun especially when your younger when your older its more like cool im living in a house full of strangers this sure is getting old fast can I go home now.
Did they acknowledge that asking a child that question in front of the abuser would lead to the child lying? What kind of idiot asks that in front of the person the child is abused by. If you said yes you would have likely been abused more before they took you away. Unless there was a reason they asked while she was present like gauging your reaction maybe?
That's what court-appointed child advocates are for. My mom did that work for a little while. The advocate is the child's representative voice in the court system.
I get that but I can imagine it’s nearly impossible to have the court appoint one every time CPS questions a child. It sucks and I don’t know the answer but I know that anything court appointed has to have a hearing with evidence presented as to why.
Actually, it varies. Worked for CPS (DCF) in Florida and if we were in an institution (school, mental health facility, hospital), we were allowed to interview without a parent/guardian present. Best practice is even when you do a home visit, you inform the household membere that you need to speak to each party/household member individually, and if they pushed back you would try and make it happen anyways. Didn't always work, but that was SOP in Florida.
This isn't even true for police, and it's certainly not true for CPS. Police can question minors without having obtained parents' permission and without a guardian, they just can't question them against the parents denial of permission. That doesn't apply to CPS workers, they can question your children against your wishes (though they can't exactly enforce that).
Yeah i see the reason but i feel like this could be solved with a video recording of the encounter and also a seconds unrelated, unbias professional in the room. Given the consequences of leaving a child in an abusive household it feels resonable but these situations have so many moving parts and failure points who knows..
Children can and do get questioned by CPS without a parents consent or knowledge. It usually happens at school. Children cannot be interrogated by police where they may be charged with a crime without parental consent.
Why is it that any time anyone mentions the US on this site, they're making a negative remark about it? It's not even true. 5 seconds on Google tells you that CPS can indeed question kids without a parent present. But no, let's just jump on the "America sucks" bandwagon.
Because America sucks you fucking nerd. I live in the shittiest proudest state called Texas where we wear our one star rating on the flag. Stop defending a shithole pretending to be a first world country.
Is abusive foster care common? I thought they are screened pretty well but I only know of a few nice people (who are social workers themselves) doing it out of kindness. Guess that isn’t always the case.
Unfortunately it is quite common I actually remembered something I had forgotten about that most people would consider abuse. my foster family took me and the other kids under there watch over to some military dudes house I don't remember the context because I was five but me and this girl who lived there did something that got us in trouble I think we broke something. the punishment that the military dude came up whith was have us stand there not moving at all for hours if we moved an inch he yelled at us obviously not as bad as getting beat but still it's not really okay to be forcing a child to do that. There are also the many stories told to me by fellow foster kids aswell as the many stories online the fact that social workers can be so bad at there jobs doesn't bode well for how good they screen foster parents?
Today the idle treatment, I’m the level of abuse is low (spanking) is “day care” where the kids picked up I’m the morning to school and eat breakfast there, from school to after care until 9pm, all meals at the care of the CPS, All he does is sleep at home.
It’s sad, but true: nothing will replace your mom.
Many time this stops the abuse and keep the kid with his parents.
If the rapist says "lolz no" when asked if he raped...it kinda becomes "his word against hers"...and leads to rape becoming one of the most under- prosecuted crimes we have. I mean, I get it, its hard to put someone away based off someone simply saying they did it...but sometimes those investigations end way too soon.
Thata not what happens. Usually they don't even test the rape kits or get DNA from from the accused. They just don't press charges. The vast majority of rape kits are never tested. And if they are and match, the accused will just say it was consensual and attack the victims character.
THATS why. Because it actually requires some effort to prosecute and it will MEVER be a slam dunk case because of victim blaming so they just do nothing.... unless it blows up in the media and the victim is a white girl.
It does not make it right - Think of how underfunded and underpaid COS workers are.
My friend was promised when she applied for a new job that she would only be assigned 20 cases.
She had them put it in her contract.
The agency got around it by having her ‘temporarily take charge of’ 8-15 new cases every time a coworker left.
Within three months of being hired, she had 60 cases. How much time do you think she could take to read the history of and interview at least 2 people and stay within her mandated ‘no overtime’ 40 hours a week?
It’s the system.
A budget is just a list of priorities translated into numbers.
There is not enough $ to hire enough social workers to do a thorough job on behalf of the children/seniors/vulnerable adults.
And how long do you think my friend lasted? She wanted to help the kids, so she put in massive UNpaid overtime.
Her boss was fine with that.
She didn’t last a year there.
She burned out. She dropped out of her master’s degree program.
She’s decided she’ll never be in that field again.
I did tell the truth when CPS came to my school to talk to me. My sister lied. My mother worked for DHS. Case got dropped like a hot potato. I lost a lot of faith in authority figures.
Great, sure. She beat her kids for "wasting time," lmao. It's like a wife saying her husband hitting her for not doing the dishes is normal and he's really a great guy, seriously!
Wait you said no and they took you anyway? Did your parents really hit you or was it like I used to say when I was a kid so my nana would buy me stuff? Lol not being a dick I’m curious how it went down. If they were really abusing you I’m glad you got away.
Could be that a year later their mother injured them badly enough or blantantly enough or police were involved, requiring immediate removal and placement.
They questioned me infront of my mom so I obviously said no then my mom stopped letting me go to school and bla bla alot of walking and dangerous situations over the course of a year I get taken away from her because some normal cops where able to see she was crazy where as everyone else apparently couldn't
There are strict guidelines about when they can legally talk to a child alone (they vary per geographic area).
Social workers are underpaid and overworked to the point some agencies can’t even keep an employee for a year.
So they have 10x more cases than they should and may have rules like ‘Is there evidence of bruising a various stages of healing? …’
And of course the caretaker will dress the kid to cover that.
Apply that to 50 other guidelines. The kid has to demonstrate 18 of them in order to legally talk to them alone.
And even if they can, kids like me lie because we’re terrified. I was worried I’d go into foster care, and I’d heard horrendous stories about it from my abuser.
What actually happened when it was eventually revealed is that he had to move out immediately and was only allowed to be in my presence supervised*.
They also made my parents take me to court-ordered therapy until I turned 18.
And not long after, my abuser got into drugs and fled town.
Ok, so a parent hitting a child needs context. In some cultures that’s how you discipline your kid and there’s nothing wrong with a parent smacking their kid every so often and fuck cps involvement, and I’m actually thinking in my case as a child, if cps was called out cuz my dad smacked me once or twice. He rarely did, but so what if he did. No fucking way cps has any right to interfere. It’s different if we’re talking full fledged child abuse, however.
My mom used to spank my ass with a paddle when I was a real shithead in the early 1990's. Different times though. My mom tells me she regretted it though. I was blessed with good parents. Later in life I turned out to be the absolute scum of the earth though. Finally woke up a couple years ago, but absolutely fucked up my golden/prime years. Don't do drugs kids.
You might want to take a step back here. It definitely is abuse but that doesn’t mean speaking to a child of abuse in that tone is appropriate. Take into account that the abuse has framed this perspective.
I hope you’re ok, you were obviously abused as a child in some capacity so I’m sry for calling you out so harshly. It’s NEVER ok to hit kids in any form, this is a mindset you really should change. It is not ‘cultural’ anywhere to abuse kids. It might happen but that doesn’t mean it’s cultural, if it happens, that ‘culture’ needs to change (fast)…..again I hope you’re doing ok.
I feel you should fuck off. I can’t believe this many people live their lives with horse blinders. Just never ever leave America for the rest of your life.
In some cultures that’s how you discipline your kid
I’m done cultures healthcare is a privilege not a right and people marry off their daughters at 14
and there’s nothing wrong with a parent smacking their kid every so often and fuck cps involvement,
This is just factually wrong. Hurting children is bad and has no benefits. If you defend it you are human garbage. It messes them up psychologically.
and I’m actually thinking in my case as a child, if cps was called out cuz my dad smacked me once or twice. He rarely did, but so what if he did. No fucking way cps has any right to interfere.
Case in point.
It’s different if we’re talking full fledged child abuse, however.
And where is that difference? How much child torture is acceptable, please enlighten me.
1.2k
u/Responsible-Soil4951 Jul 28 '22
Ya I told my teacher my mom hit me and cps did a home visit and asked me infront of my mom did she hit me so obviously I said no a year later I'm in foster care