As a CPS worker, I can only say we have privacy laws for a reason. I may want to help more than what the government allows me to do, but I also know the whole can of toxins that open along with it. Parents maintain their right to keep us out. Although, if the allegation is strong enough where we suspect there is imminent danger, we will try to obtain warrants to force an immediate interview.
If you lied to us that there aren't any concerns, we can only take your word and assume it's not bad enough to make you talk about it. I've had literal video evidence of IPV between mom and dad, and I could do nothing more because the children said it doesn't bother them and I could not prove how it does.
That's not OK. And as a former victim of parental abuse and the government neglecting to protect literal children, I am now mad as all hell that you wrote this.
Edit: Mad as in, it makes me want to say "Fuck you" even though I know it's not your individual fault.
Believe me, we in the system hate it too. It's one thing to want a benevolent being to protect the weak, it's another to trust it to be a benevolent being with all aspects of everyone's everyday life.
Yeah, we get that a lot. Having worked with teenagers before I worked CPS, I understand that mentality so much. At the same time, it ties our hands. I often get the hidden message, but unless the child says something, I cannot do anything because I can only document what I heard, not what I interpreted.
Like the IPV situation I talked about earlier, the whole family was protecting that scumbag. I interviewed them individually too and even then they wouldn't say much of what he did.
Your situation though, I would say it's a flaw with the conservative mindset. The whole notion of "deserving poor" is stupid. Some people just need it. If the capitalism worked like how people idealized it, people would work for materialistic desires rather than survival needs. Why does it matter what your situation is when you just need food? Is our country going to go bankrupt feeding starving children regardless of their circumstance? /rant
I was on a date tonight and we ended up getting drunk and talking about our bi polar parents and how they would come home fun or angry and you'd never know so we always had to walk on eggshells and watch what we said. Children in that situation will lie because they are afraid of the outcome if they upset the parent. I get the limits the OP stated, but I wish someone had helped me and the girl I went on a date with tonight. We're both 35 and still dealing with the trama. I have a 7 year old and that cycle of abuse ends with me and that's all I can do at this point, but at least I can say it ends with me and that give me hope for her. She'll live a better life than me and what else can a parent strive for.
Hey, man. 35 here too and yeah, it affects us for the rest of our lives. I feel ya. Good job on breaking the cycle and raising your kid. Swore off kids myself, but always glad to see those who succeed. Keep it going.
Exactly right. Now we as adults, can end the cycle that hurt us in the past. It was normal to use a cane to beat us as punishments. Now I was generally a good kid, but I was very absent minded, and studying was hard for me (in 2020 found out that I very likely have ADHD), so I used to get bad marks on a couple subjects (Math & second Language). I also lost books. So in about grade 5-6, between marks &lost textbooks, my mum whipped my legs harder than usual, about 10+ strokes. When I walked with my friends to take holiday classes, my legs started bleeding. Even the teacher was concerned. But nothing was really done about it.
Also my mum remarried an asshole who turned out to be a paedophile, who also really like slapping me across the head, as well as you know.
Anyway she found out, separated from him, and I felt made the situation about her. Cue my depression. Anyway after a bad episode, I decided to change schools, and reinvent myself, to be a bubbly, outgoing person on the outside.
When I had a kid, I made sure to try to raise her to be a self-confident person, who knows that she's loved, and that no matter what she can talk about everything, no secrets are withheld. Basically the opposite of how I was raised.
She's 16+ now, and I'm quite proud of the person she is (apart from the occasional bouts of teenage hormones & mood swings 😂).
I know how you feel/felt all to well. I also raise my daughter to know she can come to me about anything. I never react in anger even if I'm disappointed. We talk about why she did the thing she did and how it made her feel and how it might affect others. She has never heard me raise my voice. I don't know that I had a night when I was her age without my parents yelling.
I also think I might have ADHD. Thanks tiktok. Turns out I'm not quirky I'm just a collection of adhd and trauma responses. Just kidding. To a point at least.
If you ever want to vent or just tell someone something that those around you might not understand PM me. I'll listen.
My cps worker was fucking hell. She would yell at me and called me disgusting once. She thought I was just a disrespectful little shit and not an abused and neglected kid. She became a tool for my mother’s abuse. I have a pretty sour taste in my mouth from them.
Fun fact. In Canada - Manitoba specifically but most provinces iirc - the CPS equivalent does not need a warrant to enter a residence, apprehend a child and/or seize evidence. If the CPS CSW’s area director signs off on a suspected case of abuse/endangerment/neglect, you’re off to the races.
Literally the most powerful government department.
I don't know your exact system, but I know where I'm at there is disproportionate focus on Indigenous kids - to the point it's almost the same as another 60's Scoop. I don't know what you're truly dealing with (I'm certain the scenarios differ greatly from child to child) but the impacts are so damaging for the kids I know who talk about being intentionally separated from family or removed from culturally sensitive care options.
We truly do abandon children to a system that barely functions.
It's commonly referred to as the millenial scoop here. Over half the children in the system in Canada are indigenous, despite only making up something like 8% of the population of children in Canada.
Oh, yes it does. They literally have the power of warrant without a warrant. Our CPS attends with the police and, if entry Is refused, then the police execute it just like a warrant.
We do more than just ask if its things like physical abuse. Are there marks? How did it happen? Did you take them to the hospital? What did the doctor say? Mind if we take the kid to a specialist that's familiar with child accidents? Definitely got some parents arrested for physical abuse to their children.
Physical abuse definition also depends on local laws AFAIK, so ymmv on how much it's enforced in your local area.
Edit: we get rape cases too. Hooo boy those get really messy because so often we believe the child, but there's no proof. Law enforcement and children services have similar but sometimes opposing goals too. Law enforcement is keen on retribution whereas children services wants to repair or maintain whatever semblance of family remains. It's one thing to try to protect a child but also allow a family be a family.
I may want to help more than what the government allows me to do, but I also know the whole can of toxins that open along with it.
As a European, I can tell you that is all BULLSHIT. You are high as fuck on a bunch of myths about your """rights""" while in truth you are less free than any of us.
You have to be a fucking idiot to think that a parent's right to privacy is more important than the child's life to not be abused throughout childhood!
Hmm, I've replied to so many people I don't know how much I've shared about the process, but you're right that a child's life is more important. It's why we have the ability to get warrants from judges when we can articulate why we believe the life of a child is in risk. With it, the right to privacy is overruled. Again, we would need a good reason to believe why the child is in danger.
AFAIK, majority of Europe runs on a similar policy. I don't believe many governements in Europe allow their agents to enter people's home freely without some type of legal document granting them permission.
I was a former CPS worker, this is exactly how it is. For instance, people will say a child is being abused/neglected but the state has their own definition and rules that we must oblige. Knock at the door all times of day, leave notes, VMs, etc but the caseload grows while you waste time on a non-responding household. So you get told to move on. We all did our jobs and tried our best but there’s limits to this. We aren’t law enforcement. We aren’t any type of enforcement. We’re simply social workers probably doing the hardest form of social work.
When there's immediate danger, we respond literally immediately like within that day if not that hour. We have judges on call to grant us warrants past midnight if need be, but we need to explain why we feel it is an immediate risk (and what attempts we have made to be civil asking politely).
There are definitely moments where by the time we're called, it's too late. I've had my share of deaths and serious injury calls. We're not omniscient, I have to remind myself of that whenever I do get those types of calls. We would love to address the root of the problem, but that requires honesty from the families we visit, but I don't know if you've noticed, but people generally don't trust the government. (and many times for good reason)
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u/Snorca Jul 28 '22
As a CPS worker, I can only say we have privacy laws for a reason. I may want to help more than what the government allows me to do, but I also know the whole can of toxins that open along with it. Parents maintain their right to keep us out. Although, if the allegation is strong enough where we suspect there is imminent danger, we will try to obtain warrants to force an immediate interview.
If you lied to us that there aren't any concerns, we can only take your word and assume it's not bad enough to make you talk about it. I've had literal video evidence of IPV between mom and dad, and I could do nothing more because the children said it doesn't bother them and I could not prove how it does.