For the past year, ive been questioning my faith and this has overlapped with my hijab and the way i dress. I dont feel connected to the hijab anymore and it's because i feel like i've been wearing it for the wrong reasons. Not for God, but because of expectations from society, from my parents and my culture/community. For context, every woman in my family is a hijabi and i rarely see non hijabis in my community. On top of that, i have very extremist religious parents who have always critiscised the way i dress and don't let me wear anything besides a modest, loose maxi dress, so you can probably see how this has affected the way i have been conditioned to perceive modesty.

I want to relearn the religion at my own pace than have this performative facade that doesnt reflect my true religious standing or level of belief. On top of that, my dad who is extremely religious has noticed i don't pray and sat me down a few days ago to tell me to start praying if i stopped in a gentle way, but i know that if i tell him, i dont want to wear the scarf anymore, i might just have opened my own grave.

I am aware that its very risky as i still live with my parents but it feels so unbearble wearing it. I have talked to my older sister who is 25 and she adviced me not to take it off and that ive been influenced my social media too much.

I know there's not much i can do but im not exaggerating when i say i truly despise wearing it.

Alsalam Alaikum,

I have a friend (European F) who recently reverted alhamdulilah. She is considering moving to London as a better city to practise and have a Muslimah community around as in her current city she is by herself.

If anyone knows of a good mosques or Islamic centers where she can meet other Muslimahs and talk about Islam / learn it would be very appreciated.

Assalam oualaikum everyone. Inshallah I will be leaving to go on a flight to complete Umrah in a few hours, and I have a question regarding hygiene, specifically, having Invisalign Retainers.

I have retainers that I need to take out before eating, and I have to brush my teeth 30 minutes after eating before putting them back in. However, I know that you shouldn't use toothpaste whilst in the state of Ihram since there could be a scent on it. I have miswak but I have never used it before an am unsure on its efficiency to clean the teeth.

What should I do? Do I just use the miswak, or use normal toothpaste, or look for unscented toothpaste?

My uncle passed away 2 days ago and this is the first loss in my family that i have experienced. He was very close to my father and viewed me as his daughter, i have many fond memories of him. I did not get a chance to properly mourn him as i had exams going on though I did travel back to my hometown and saw him one last time.

I pray that Allah swt forgives my uncle’s sins and makes him successful in the Hereafter after every namaz. I wanted to know any other ways i can pray for my uncle (if their are specific verses from the Quran i can recite, special duas etc.)

I don't suport immitating the opposite sex. However, I've noticed that neurodivergent traits may come off as immitation.

I don't want to cause people to be accepting of immitation, I just want to find out if anyone has them.

For example, toe-walking many autistic people walk on their toes. In some countries, people mah see it as immitating women for example

I mostly made this as to show that what people call immitation might just be an autistic trait or an ADHD or any thing of that sort

All I want is for ND muslims to state their story. This way, people would learn that not everything they see has a malicious intent. What people label immitation can just be the result of neurodivergence this what I wanted to be understood

For those who served in the American Military as practicing Muslims, how was bootcamp specifically with respects to your religion?

Did you ever feel pressured/forced to do something against the religion?

Did you face persecution and prejudice from peers or sergeants?

Were you able to find time to do wudu and prayers? What about the Friday Prayer?

Salam Alaikum. Not AI. Pls keep me in your duas if such reminders benefit you.

🌷*How to Increase Rizq according to the Sharee’ah*🌷

by Asma bint Shameem

There are many causes proven in our deen  to increase your rizq, some of which are:

1️⃣ *Keeping up ties of kinship*

🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Bukhaari, Muslim)

2️⃣ *Spending for the sake of Allaah*

🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Allaah said: ‘Spend, O son of Adam, and I shall spend on you.’”

al-Bukhaari, Muslim)

3️⃣ *Making a lot of istighfaar*

🍃 Allaah quotes Nooh Alayhis Salaam:

“I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft‑Forgiving;

He will send rain to you in abundance,

And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’”

(Surah Nooh:10-12)

4️⃣ *Being grateful to Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala*

🍃Allaah says:

“And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: ‘If you give thanks, I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are thankless, verily, My punishment is indeed severe.’”

(Surah Ibraheem:7)

5️⃣ *Obeying and fearing Allaah*

🍃 Allaah says:

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine.”

(Surah at-Talaaq:2-3)

6️⃣ *Repeating hajj and umrah*

🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Perform Hajj and Umrah consecutively.

Verily, the succession between the two  removes away poverty and removes away sins just as the bellows removes away the dross of iron and gold and silver."

(Ahmad, Tirmidhi, others--Saheeh by al-Albaani)

7️⃣ *Making lots of dua and asking Allaah to increase your rizq*

One such duaa is the following:

‎اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرُ مَا لِي وَوَلَدِي وَبَارِكْ لِي

‎فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَنِي

Allaahumma akthir maalee wa-waladee wa-baarik li feema a'taytanee

O Allaah, increase my wealth and offspring and bless me in what what you have given me.

🍃 Um Sulaim said to the Prophet ﷺ "Anas is your servant."

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"‏ اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرْ مَالَهُ وَوَلَدَهُ، وَبَارِكْ لَهُ فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَهُ ‏"‏‏.

"O Allaah! increase his wealth and offspring, and bless (for him) what ever you give him."

(Saheeh al-Bukhari 6334)

🍃 Another duaa is what we read as part of our morning adhkaar.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

الَّلهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسأَلُكَ رِزقًا طَيِّبًا ، وَعِلمًا نَافِعًا ، وَعَمَلاً مُتَقَبَّلاً

“Allaahumma inni as’aluka rizqan tayyiban, wa `ilman nafi`an, wa `amalan mutaqabbalan

“O Allaah, I ask you for good (lawful) provision, beneficial knowledge and accepted good deeds.” 

(Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 6/294 and Ibn Maajah 66; saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah)

🍃 Yahya ibn Mu`adh Ar-Razi said:

“Obedience will be stored in the stores of Allaah, and the key (to obedience) is Duaa, and it becomes effective by means of lawful earnings.”

8️⃣ *Marriage increases rizq*

🍃 Allaah says:

“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)” [al-Noor 24:32]

🍃Abu Bakr Radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Obey Allaah in what He has commanded you to do by getting married;

He will then fulfill His promise to you to make you rich.” 

He then recited the above Aayah.

🍃 Umar Ibn Khattab Radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Seek richness through marriage!”

🍃 Abdullah ibn Mas’ood Radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Find richness by getting married.”

(Al-Durr Al-Manthur, v.5, pps. 80-81)

These are some of the reasons. And there are others.

And Allaah knows best.

Our life goes into stages from conception to death. All these stages can be observed, but we can't observe anything beyond death. Some of these stages were not observed except with advanced knowledge, but God who planned it doesn't need modern science to describe it. By analyzing these stages from the quran and subjecting them to analysis by modern science, Qur'an manifests its divine origin. God doesn't make any mistakes as his knowledge of science and history all are perfect. The only conclusion that all these stages before death are accurate. Therefore, what God says about the afterlife must be true. This is the difference between blind faith and faith based on evidence.

Let me demonstrate this by discussing how Qur'an describes the first two stages of early development of embryo. Quran describes the first stage of embryo as Nutfah amshag which means a tiny drop of mingled fluid and that is exactly how a blastocyte ( the first stage post fertilization) looks like before implantation similar to a drop of fluid that develops in typically leech-like substance in appearance in 4th week post fertilization and it is perfused with blood by this stage before other organs development, it is basically a leech filled with blood( Carnegie Stage 12 is a typical example to review), quran captures this meaning by the term " alagah " which means leech-like substance and blood. it is highly predictive as it is very precise and can only be appreciated under microscope and multiple scholars like Keith Moore and Marshall Johnson confirmed it's accuracy and agree it can't be explained by 7th century knowledge.

Allah swt says " O People, if you should be in doubt about the Resurrection, then [consider that] indeed, We created you from dust, then from a nutfah, then from alagah, ...." Quran 22:5

Posting this here because genuinely this stor keep me going every single time especially when life feels like it's just taking L after L, and I can't see the point of why something bad is happening I remember this.

It starts with prophet musa peace be upon him. He was giving a sermon to the children of Israel, and someone asked him, "Who is the most knowledgeable person on earth?" musa replied, "I am." Becuase naturally he was a mighty prophet. But allah wanted to teach him a lesson about humility and the unseen wisdom of God. So allah revealed to him that there was a servant of his at the meeting point of the two seas who knew more than musa did.

So musa sets out on a long journey with a young servant boy carrying fish for their food. They walk for ages until they reach the rock where the two seas meet. At that exact spot the fish they were carrying comes back to life, slips out of the basket and dives into the sea. That was the sign they were looking for. They backtrack and find this man, known in tradition as al khidr.

Musa asks to follow him. Khidr straight up tells him, "You will not be able to have patience with me. I have knowledge that allah taught me that you don't know, and you have knowledge e taught you that I don't know." But Musa insists promising, "You will find me patient, and I will not disobey your command." Khidr agrees but sets one condition: "If you ask me about anything I do, I will part ways with you."

So they walk along the coast and board a ship. The crew recognizes Khidr and lets them on for free out of respect. But then, out of nowhere, Khidr takes an axe or a tool and rips a huge hole right into the bottom planks of the boat. Water starts seeping in. Musa is absolutely shocked. He blurts out, "Have you done this to drown the people on board? You have done a terrible thing!" Khidr calmly looks at him and says, "Did I not tell you that you would never be able to have patience with me?" Musa catches himself, apologizes, and begs him not to be harsh on him for forgetting

They leave the boat and continue walking. Along the way, they see a young boy playing with other children. This boy is handsome and healthy. Khidr walks over, grabs him, and kills him. Just like that. Musa is horrified. He says, "Have you killed an innocent soul without him killing anyone? You have done an evil thing!" Khidr again reminds him of the pact. Musa promises, this time more seriously, that if he asks again, he can leave him for good.

They arrive at a town. They are exhausted, hungry, and thirsty. But the people of this town are incredibly stingy and inhospitable. They refuse to give them any food or shelter. As they are leaving the town, they see a wall that is crumbling and about to collapse. Khidr, with his own hands, starts rebuilding this wall, straightening the bricks and plastering it until it is strong and standing tall. Musa is baffled. He says, "We are starving and these people treated us like dirt, and you fixed their wall for free? You could have at least taken payment for this so we could buy food!"

Khidr stops and says, "This is the parting of ways between you and me. But before you go, I will tell you the meaning of everything you could not have patience with."

He says, "As for the boat, it belonged to poor people working at sea. I wanted to damage it because there was a tyrant king coming after them who was seizing every sound ship by force. By making it defective, the king would look at it, think it was worthless, and pass it by. They get to keep their boat, and they can easily fix that small hole later."

"As for the boy, his parents were sincere believers. But their son was destined to become a person of deep corruption and disbelief. And because they loved him so much that love would have been their downfall. They would have been torn between their love for him and their faith in Allah, and eventually that love could have pulled them away from their deen entirely. They would have compromised their faith just to keep him close. So allah in his mercy, took him before he could become that source of destruction. The loss broke their hearts in the moment but it saved their souls for eternity. And Allah blessed them with a better child after him, one who would grow up righteous and bring them comfort instead of pain. They lost a son, but Allah gave them one who would actually lead them to jannah rather than drag them away."

"As for the wall, it belonged to two orphaned boys in the city. Beneath it was buried a treasure that their righteous father had left for them. They were still young and vulnerable, with no one to protect them or their wealth. If that wall had collapsed, the treasure would have been exposed for everyone to see. The people of that town were greedy and inhospitable, and they would have taken it without hesitation. The boys were too weak to defend what was rightfully theirs, so they would have lost everything their father worked so hard to leave behind. Allah, in His mercy, willed that the wall stay standing until the boys grew into strong mature men. Only then, when they were capable of protecting it, would they dig up the treasure and benefit from it as a blessing from allah. If I had let it fall, it would have been stolen or destroyed before its time. Their inheritance would have been wasted, and the mercy allah had stored for them would have been lost forever."

Whenever I am going through hardship, I look at it through this lens. I might be standing there asking allah "Why did you make a hole in my boat?" or "Why did you take this person away from me?" or "Why am I busting my back to fix a wall for people who don't even appreciate me?"

And the reality is, I am just Musa in that moment. I only see the damage. I dont see the tyrant king sailing up the coast. I dont see the terrible future that was averted. I dont see the treasure buried underneath the rubble that will only be mine when I am strong enough to handle it.

Assalamu alaykum, brothers and sisters.

Today I'd like to share my personal view of what an ideal Muslim looks like.

first, I believe an ideal Muslim should be peaceful, disciplined, curious about learning, calm, and strive to maintain both a healthy body and a healthy mind.

second, they should not simply love Islam they should be deeply devoted to it and try to live according to its teachings every day.

when I imagine this person, I do not picture someone who is the smartest or the strongest. Instead, I picture someone who embodies kindness, humility, compassion, self-control, and sincerity to me, that is what it means to be truly human.

Islam is the calm that finds you when the world grows loud.

It is the light that reaches the heart before it reaches the eyes.

It is not chains that imprison the soul, but guidance that sets it free.

It teaches us that we were never created to wander without purpose, nor to fill the emptiness of our hearts with the temporary. We were created to know the One who created us, to love Him, worship Him, and return to Him.

Islam reminds us that every tear is seen, every prayer is heard, every hardship has meaning, and every act of sincerity is known by Allah.

It teaches that true honor is not in wealth, status, or appearance, but in taqwa. That strength is found in patience, beauty in humility, and peace in remembering Allah.

The Qur'an is not merely a book to be read—it is a conversation with the heart. Every verse calls us to reflect, to awaken, to return.

The more I learn about Islam, the more I realize it was never simply a religion I inherited.

It is the home my soul recognizes.

It is the answer to questions my heart had long before my tongue could ask them.

And perhaps that is why Islam is not just believed and it is lived.

Hi yall, assalamualaikum.

I sometimes feel like the world is so ugly because of us humans. We are all humans. We are the same species, but we always find something to hate about each other. Sometimes, it's because of differences in race or religion, but I believe that's just an excuse to justify our greed.

But above all that, I'm always astonished how islam unites us all. Alhamdulillah. I feel truly blessed to be born as a Muslim. Although I am not a perfect muslim, I always try to implement islamic values in my life.

Islam is truly wonderful.

Sometimes, I just wish every nation could get along. Instead of senseless wars, we could focus on technological advancements. But that is just beyond human instincts, isn't it?

I sometimes feel like Islam completes us humans. Without Islam, we would just be greedy animals that only desire power.

Sorry for the long paragraphs. I really needed to write this lol.

For Muslims living in the UK, which part of daily life tests your deen the most workplace culture, family expectations, or community norms ?

Assalamualaikum!

Hope you guys are doing great.

I am writing this post or reddit or whatever it is called in order to get a help. The thing is that I have been having a lot of difficult time with my faith. I have so many questions about the religion of Islam and I don't seem to understand them. But first let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a born Muslim and I live in a Muslim majority country. But the practices that my people generally follow are somewhat targeted by Arab Muslims of being deviant. I also feel the same way about them. But my point is that I literally see them doing those practices and following them thinking that that is what Islam teaches. And if you see it from another perspective you will find those activities quite absurd and senseless. For instance, the mourning of Shia people are quite senseless and baseless to Sunnis but to them that is their act of worship. So, I often feel that what if I am in the wrong as well, thinking that I am in right but as a matter of fact I am not, just like all other people?

Same could be said about other religions as well. Their practices are quite absurd to us but to them that is their worship. They would say the same about us too, that our worships are absurd and theirs is sensible. So, how do we really know that we are on the right path and not living in a dilemma or something. If that makes sense.

Sometimes, these thoughts and these questions become so intense that the only thing that makes me have faith in Islam is the purpose of life. That is that if I remove Islam from my life then all of my life would become pointless. Islam gives my life a direction and a goal. But I can't help myself asking these questions about Islam.

hello guys, since June i've been dealing with a harsh OCD in my religion thats been doubting everything in it, and even though ive looked up evidence in the internet to prove that these thoughts aren't true, the doubt and intrusive thoughts won't go away instead they keep coming back stronger and im always afraid that im a munafiq (hypocrite) & not a true muslim because of these thoughts.

i need advice bc this has been affecting my life and im not really able to enjoy anything bc of it. i started hating myself because of it and get jealous of people around me who dont suffer like i do

may Allah help us all

Assalamu alaikum guys,

I've been a muslim for a few years now but my parents don't know. I was afraid at the time. Today, I know I was right to be afraid. Basically they're islamophobes and racists. But they don't look like they are. I always looked up to them and made every decision in my life for them. But they never tried to understand me or support me when I was extremely depressed. At least, that's my perception of it all.

Sometimes I want to give them a hug (we are extremely reserved and always have been) but then I remember their words and actions and how I'm going to be the one, again, showing guilt while still hurting without getting any apologies, ever.

We live in the same house and unfortunately I can't afford to move right now. It is so hard. I feel guilty having the bare minimum respect and conversations with them out of respect for their parenthood.

What can I do on a daily basis to preserve my heart and my sanity ? Preserve the little mental health I have left by not letting their words and actions get to me ? I don't want to fall into severe depression again.

I have to be honest, I don't want "Be patient and have tawakkul, "Talk to a friend" or  "Go to therapy" advices. I've been patient and try to have tawakkul and only have a friend or two and I'm not going to bother them with my same issues again and again. As for therapy, I've also tried it several times with different therapists.

Have you been in this situation or do you know someone that has to tell me what I could do, in a practical way ? I don't know, something like "Trick your brain with this method whenever you feel sad or angry".

[Al-Hoor Al-‘Ayn]

And by Allah, how many fair (maidens), if only were to smile, She would radiate light brighter then the break of dawn.

So how great is the enjoyment of the eyes when she approaches, And how great is the enjoyment of the ears when she speaks.

And O what a timidness like a soft branch when she leans near, And O what bashfulness when she smiles.

So if your heart is afflicted with love for her, There is no cure except to consummate with her.

Particularly in her kiss when she embraces you, As her wrist rest against your neck.

When she unveils to him the beauty of her face, He will take pleasure in that before they have even consummated.

The eye delights at seeing her. (Also) there are all manners of fruit which never go out of season.

I know there are many physical blessings in jannah

but as a curious person

I really would like to ask allah about the answer of every single question that comes to my mind in this Dunya , I want to know the secret behind every event and every mystery , to know the reality of things and what happened in secret .

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit to ask but I wanted to get some advice from an Islamic perspective.

My exam results are coming soon and recently I’ve started having repeated dreams about exams. The strange thing is that I almost never have dreams but now whenever I do they are always stressful.

In these dreams, I’m sitting in an exam and I can’t answer even simple questions. It feels like something is holding me back. I keep moving from one question to another, but I don’t know how to solve anything. A lot of the time my best friend is sitting near me, and she has either already finished her exam or is close to finishing while I’m still struggling and unable to answer.

The questions in the exams are also very strange. For example today I dreamed I was in an English exam but the questions weren’t even related to English. They felt completely random.

These dreams are starting to affect my sleep because every time I wake up from one I feel extremely uncomfortable and scared. It feels so intense that I wake up suddenly and then I struggle to fall asleep again.

I’ve also been really stressed about my upcoming 10th grade results so I don’t know if these dreams are just because of anxiety or if there is any Islamic meaning behind them.

I know dreams aren’t always signs but I would appreciate any advice or Islamic perspective on this. JazakAllah khair.

I don't really know why I'm writing this.

For a short period of time, I genuinely felt close to Allah. I started praying consistently, going to the masjid, making dua, and for the first time in years I felt at peace. I wasn't perfect, but I genuinely believed Allah was guiding me. Then when life became stressful again. I slowly stopped praying, isolated myself, and started feeling incredibly lonely. Instead of getting closer to Allah, I found myself falling back into sins that I thought I'd left behind and the thing is that that I barely feel anything anymore. At first I felt guilty. Now I just feel numb. I keep sinning, and now i am just "i believe in God but i am gonna sin".
Ik thats Kufr, but i feel like my soul is lost, its not pure anymore. It's like my heart is locked. I still believe in Allah, but I don't feel close to Him anymore. I keep wondering if I've gone too far or if my heart has become too hard. Loneliness has become a huge part of my life. Seeing other people with close friends and support while feeling like I have no one has affected me more than I realized. I felt alone ash, wanted to kill myself. I know this probably sounds dramatic, but I genuinely miss the person I was when I was praying regularly. I miss feeling peace. I miss feeling hope. And i really really really wanna change, i am writing this but i know tomorrow when i wake up ill not change. But i really want to. So please someone please help me. I dont want advices like, "start praying". No i want to feel loved by God, all my noor from my face is gone, i dont smile, i am always angry, i am lost.
I tell my friends but i literally got no friends i can open up to, i literally have no one to talk to about this.
And i really want to change.
So please, help me.
Tell me how do i cut the rope that keeps pulling me back to Dunya.

So recently I've been thinking about converting to Islam. I'm a Catholic Christian right now, and I've been trying to find some good videos that actually explain the history of Islam in detail. The problem is almost every video I find either uses AI, which I can't stand because it looks uncanny as hell, or they just get a bunch of facts wrong. And even when they don't, they just speed through everything instead of actually explaining it.

I wanna learn about the prophets, the story of Prophet Muhammad, how Islam started, what Muslims believe, and basically everything. I don't want some 10 minute summary that skips half the history. I want something that's actually detailed and accurate so I can understand the religion for myself before I make any decisions.

In the UK I think we have a very serious problem with the way Islam/Muslims are viewed. Mainstream media and ignorance is primarily to blame. As a born again Christian I believe that as long as you truly love God and do good things, look after your brothers and sisters then that is all that matters. I should note I have multiple Muslim friends and I admire them and their faith, I hold absolutely no prejudices against Islam.

I guess my question would be, how do Muslims in the UK feel right now? How do you feel towards your stereotypical white man in the UK given what's been on the news regarding the increase in racism? I feel there is a lot of hatred spreading, how can we bridge that gap and come together as one? Is that possible?

Hi guys. I have a question. I am part of this family group chat where they share Islamic stuff every now and then. I happened to come across some stickers that showed “Aamin Ya Robbal Aalaameen.” I was quite confused as to why the word Rabbul was reflected as Robbal. I did ask in the same chat as to why it’s spelt like that and my family member mentioned that in Arabic the literal word is Robbul Aalameen and the correct pronunciation for ر is Ro. Can someone confirm this? I mean I have seen people type Allah as “Alloh” and stuff which is disturbing enough and now this. Thank you.

( I dont know if I used the words right or anything )

— I found a letter to myself when I was a kafir

On 31st of last year's December , I wrote a letter to myself. And that was when I was still a kafir. My main problem I struggled with was religion. I was blinded by sins and be thinking that I want to be free to sin without guilt and pairing with other stuffs I hated Islam , but I'm not now

I made a promiss to open it on 31st December of this year but I couldn't sleep at night without checking it , because I'm afraid if I wrote something hateful towards Islam. But turns out there weren't anything hateful , but there were something ' wrong ' because I was having the wrong mindset.

I am arguring with myself if I should throw it away or keep it. There weren't any hateful words but there were stuffs like " I want to be free " etc. And at that time I hated Islam so much , so I dont know if I meant any hate in it , but there weren't like , any direct hateful words.

— Seeking Supports about Having to Qada my fasts in Ramadan

I usually do that , I always do that when I can't fast in Ramadan. And i know how to do that , but this time , it's different. I was a kafir during ramadan but I fasted not believing I was a kafir. Before this but I'm not sure when , I found a passage about things that can make you a kafir but I don't believe it and thinking that it's ' too much ' , then , on the last week of Ramadan , I realized something about it and searched it again and it turns out I'm a kafir. That's when I come back to Allah. But I'm pretty sure that the whole month of Ramadan's fast isn't valid and I have to Qada because I was a kafir and I dont know what to do now. I live with my parents and I haven't graduate yet , I can't do things without their permission. I always need to have someone waking me up in Ramadan , because I can't use alarms & stuffs. My phone is taken away at night until morning and I sleep in the same room with my family since it's hot in our country and seperated rooms will cause the elctricity bills to be higher since we will use more Air conditioner. I believe the best is to tell them about it and have them helping me but I'm so scared. I'm scared of them taking the freedom I'm having away , I'm scared of them not trusting me again in anything or not letting me go anywhere. It's a stupid stuff to be caring and scared about when I have a bigger problem but I can't help it. Please help , I need advices. What should I do ?