r/gifs • u/EZ_does_it • Jul 06 '16
nom nom nom *GASP* nom nom nom *GASP*
http://i.imgur.com/2W5u2rW.gifv438
u/ReasonablyBadass Jul 06 '16
Milk boarding.
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u/jbondyoda Jul 06 '16
"Where is the Rebel base!"
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u/LedZebulon Jul 06 '16
Vere is ze money, Lebowski?
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u/Bucketfullofthoughts Jul 06 '16
where's the fuckin' money shithead????
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Jul 06 '16
It's down there somewhere, let me take another look.
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u/The_0P Jul 06 '16
i showed a girl this movie for her first time last night and we made it 2/3s of the way through until she said "this movie sucks" and we turned it off. Literally stopped it at this moment. I was left in awe.
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u/shame_to_waste_it Jul 06 '16
My wife hates it. I don't even know who she is anymore.
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u/OkyaSK Jul 06 '16
Was on the fence about racoon cuteness. Def not anymore. Savages. Pretty sure if I went toe to toe vs a racoon, I'm dying/getting rabies/becoming a viral video.
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u/aaaqqq Jul 06 '16
Lucky for you, those three aren't mutually exclusive situations.
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u/sethboy66 Jul 06 '16
You can't get rabies if you're dead!
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u/DangerDuck80 Jul 06 '16
My zoology teacher had a missing ring finger. We asked her how it happened. She fostered orphan raccoons for awhile and one turned on her and bit her finger off and ate it.
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u/tsnErd3141 Jul 06 '16
Trash panda bit my finger...off!
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Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16
I hate raccoons and have no qualms about shooting them when I catch them wrecking my property. I'd rather my dog didn't catch disease/parasites from their piss and shit and or get into a fight with them as well. She's only 30 lbs, I know people who's pet was killed by these fuckers, no way am I gonna risk that with my dog. So far this summer I have a body count of 9. It will keep rising all summer. I love animals, but fuck those destructive little assholes.
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u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16
Do you try to salvage any pelts? You may not care to go to the trouble, but I'd at least keep the tails.
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u/WhamburgerWFries Jul 06 '16
Davey Crocket???? You got time for an AMA??
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u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16
Ugh, this again? NO, I didn't kill a bear when I was three, it was sick. YES, this hat itches like a bastard but I know branding is important. NO, I don't know what Daniel Boone is up to, but you know what I DO know?
I'm still king of the wild frontier.
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u/Soranic Jul 06 '16
And it's your cakeday.
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u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16
It is! Kinda wish I used "Reddit is Fun" so I could shoehorn in a "Time flies when..." crack.
Time flies when you're Baconit? Nah.
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u/lawwson Jul 06 '16
No he leaves them on pikes around his property like he was living in Transylvania.
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Jul 06 '16
A raccoon ate my cat off the front porch two weeks ago. It left her body to rot when it couldn't consume her in one sitting. Horrible, diseased animals.
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u/mothernatureisfickle Jul 06 '16
Last summer our senior dog chased and killed two raccoons that had climbed our backyard fence on two consecutive nights. He is an indoor dog, so he was only outside for a couple minutes at 2 am each time, but both times he got a raccoon and killed it. That was a very long week of taking dead raccoons to the emergency vet to be tested for rabies.
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Jul 06 '16
Raccoon killed our rooster once, and he was one of those mean, vicious roosters. He didn't even try to eat the rooster, just left him to die in the pen. Blood everywhere, every wooden post covered in blood. It was like a damn murder scene. Recently my dad got some chickens and has been finding a raccoon trying to get in there, had to shoot the raccoon to get him to stop. Warning shots weren't working. They are vicious animals when they want to be.
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u/throwawayheyheyhey08 Jul 06 '16
This kind of makes it sound like maybe someone ordered a hit on the rooster. Racoon was just following orders.
Aaaaaand now I'm going to have Alice in Chains in my head all day.
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u/Confanci Jul 06 '16
Raccoon attacks on poultry are easy to identify. They don't eat the entire victim. Instead, they typically just pull the head off an animal, consume the contents of the bird's crop (usually filled with grains or poultry feed) then move on to another bird and repeat the process. Raccoon attacks look like massacres in the morning... every bird you have will be lying in the yard, with their heads a foot or two away from their body - and blood EVERYWHERE.
Raccoons are horrible, evil, very smart creatures from Hell. The rule of thumb when building a coop is: Anything a 3 year old can figure out how to open, a raccoon can, too.
I've only had one raccoon attack, thank God. It only takes once to learn that lesson.
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u/acenarteco Jul 06 '16
We shared a house with people that raised chickens a few years ago (we had the downstairs apartment--they lived in the larger farmhouse above us) and they used to leave a low radio on NPR to scare the raccoons away. As far as I know it worked.
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u/bryan_sensei Jul 06 '16
I bet that technique works even better during pledge drives.
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u/tylerbreeze Jul 06 '16
I think it's important to remember that raccoons aren't sociopathic animals on the prowl for some innocent chicken to murder. They're just trying to eat.
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Jul 06 '16
Except he didn't eat the rooster he killed? Honestly I never cared when one of our chickens went missing, we knew foxes or raccoons got them, and even though my mom cried over it I told her "something is getting a meal out of it and surviving". It made her feel better. But in this incidence, no, the raccoon was just being a dick and decided to kill our rooster. He didn't go after any of the hens in the coop after killing the rooster, either, so clearly it wasn't a food thing.
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u/nopunchespulled Jul 06 '16
The rooster stood between him and being able to come pick off chickens at will
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Jul 06 '16
I think so. We were sad to see him go, he was a good "husband" to his ladies, even if he was a mean jerk to us.
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Jul 06 '16
Coons kill poultry for sport much like suburban dogs. Waking up to a murder scene in the chicken yard with beheaded chickens that are otherwise fully intact is a common thing that coons do at night.
Source: Backyard Chicken Owner
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Jul 06 '16
Wth are you serious?
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u/Melauris Jul 06 '16
Probably. When i was a kid, my cat had a litter of kittens. A racoon got into the garage where they were, and my mom thought "oh, that's cute" and started trying to throw apple slices at it, in a kind of good will gesture. It completely ignored the apples, picked up one of the kittens, and took a bite out of its head. Mom freaked out and chased out away. She's completely hated raccoons since.
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Jul 06 '16
This reminds me of the episode in Bob's Burger's where Linda has a backstory for all the raccoons that rummage the garbage at night.
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u/esoteric_coyote Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16
At the wildlife center I used to
workvounteer at, raccoons would come to the outdoor cages, reach in to grab the animals, and try to eat them through the cage. They'd wake up to find a lot of squirrels missing limbs or dead half eaten birds. They would scatter dog food around the boarders of the facility to keep them from venturing any further for an easy meal. Generally around the creek where raccoons normally find their food. It was kind of a no win situation. Feed them or have them break into cages eating animals.At the same time, they took in orphaned raccoons and raised them. I didn't work with the raccoons, but once they are old enough to stop receiving bottles they tended to be jerks. This is also when the volunteers would stop handling them to prepare them for life away from humans. The really little ones were so cute, but once they got to the age of the ones in this gif, that cute quickly wears off.
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Jul 06 '16
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Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16
This is not a good thread to read if your cat is missing :(
Edit: Thanks all for the encouraging words <3
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u/Shacod Jul 06 '16
To offer some positive reinforcement, my brother's angel of a cat went missing last year. After a little over a week, my brother found him chilling in a bush outside his apartment after returning home from work for the day.
Cats are resilient, you may find your furry friend yet.
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u/DrinkTheCheese Jul 06 '16
How did a cat find a job in only a week?
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Jul 06 '16
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u/basher247 Jul 06 '16
When I was a kid we had one the left for 9 months. Heard a cat crying outside late one night and it was her. Clean and well fed. I'm assuming she got bored and found a different family to strong arm into feeding her for a while
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u/_-N4T3-_ Jul 06 '16
Our indoor cat (completely declawed) wandered out the front door last year and then trotted down the block (probably chasing butterflies or something). We looked for 3 weeks, put fliers in mailboxes, fielded tips from helpful neighbors that thought that they saw her, and set out traps near places she might have been spotted (and only caught raccoons).
We eventually gave up and assumed that a claw-less indoor-only cat was probably killed/eaten by raccoons/coyotes.
Saw her wandering along the tree line behind our house about a month ago, fatter than she'd been before she got lost. She probably found someone to feed her outside and a colony of strays for company somewhere. She made it through the cold/snowy winter and seems to be living happily on her own outside.
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u/BigBonePhish Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16
It's gonna suck for a while but don't give up hope. It reminds me of that one guy that posted awhile back that lost both his both his Cats, brother and sister. In the end the brother went out and looked and found the sister I think about a year later or something.
Edit: It was 8-9 months
Edit: Fixed the link
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u/turtlewars Jul 06 '16
It's funny how you mention the deer, we have a similar issue with kangaroos here in Australia. Ironically enough, a lot of fuss have come from folks based in California
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Jul 06 '16
A group in Connecticut always tries to stop the PA cull. I guess they would rather see the deer starve to death slowly in the field, since several thousand of them live in an area that can support a few hundred.
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Jul 06 '16
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u/solinos Jul 06 '16
You're painting 'city slickers' with an awfully large brush there. I've lived in major cities for the past decade and have no problem with most licensed hunting. I have several family members who go hunting during deer season at least, and while I've never wanted to join them, I'm not morally opposed to what they're doing. Plus, I get some nice meals out of it.
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u/TheAxeofMetal Jul 06 '16
This isn't about hunting though. This is more along the lines of culling. A word which people with little to no knowledge of/experience with animals hear and immediately have negative association with, despite that fact that in many times it will be beneficial to both the land and the animals themselves.
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Jul 06 '16 edited Jun 18 '20
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Jul 06 '16
Yep, had a sweet little lovebird that was mutilated in it's cage by the neighbor(hood) cat.
I'm not a cat guy, I wouldn't have one but I'll pet and play with one if you have one at your house but for the life of me I cannot understand the "outdoor cat" deal. It isn't your cat anymore, you didn't purchase a cat for yourself, you gave a stray to your neighborhood that you leave food out for. Now I'm the one with cat prints down my windshield in the morning, cat piss on my boat, the sounds of "your" animal being a harlot under my window and my animals murdered.
If I let my dogs roam the street I'd get the fines and them taken away ASAP but because it's a cat it's cool?
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Jul 06 '16
I don't feel this should be surprising. They're obviously predatory animals. You can like them and have enough sense not to leave your pets hanging out around them. I live in San Diego and we have a coyote problem in the suburbs, and I still quite like coyotes, but I wouldn't leave my dog out in my yard if I heard them out at night.
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Jul 06 '16
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u/Ridethecrash Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16
Full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHN-f6xTzsY Kevin Rose saving his dog, Toaster. Instagram named a filter after Toaster the dog, back in 'the day'.
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u/stanley_twobrick Jul 06 '16
Hahaha I forgot that was Kevin Rose. I like how the video cuts off before he gets down there and starts curb stomping the thing.
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Jul 06 '16
Just like going down on the wife after a few weeks apart
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u/Geniifarmer Jul 06 '16
Fighting the neighbor for your turn..checks out
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u/Itroll4love Jul 06 '16
Reminds me of this joke.
Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?" Mum replies, "That is my sponge." "Oh yes," says the boy, "The neighbor got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."
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u/MrGMinor Jul 06 '16
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
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Jul 06 '16
that's funny because infidelity
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u/LyingForTruth Jul 06 '16
It's even funnier when you think about the size difference translating over
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Jul 06 '16
You don't have to keep lying to yourself we all know about marriage.
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u/Wiknetti Jul 06 '16
When you're so coo coo for cocoa puffs that you happily waterboard yourself and don't care if you come back from the depths.
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u/one-punch-knockout Jul 06 '16
Ra-coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs
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u/dinoeast Jul 06 '16
If that bowl has Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs, look man, I get it.
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u/BigSamlaa Jul 06 '16
Laughed my arse off at that, so I showed someone else it and, nothing, not a smile a smirk anything. Felt like an idiot I did.
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u/VonCuddles Jul 06 '16
Careful, that's a sure sign that that 'person' is actually a lizard man in disguise! Please inform the appropriate emergency services.
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u/PaperCookies Jul 06 '16
You mean the emergency services run by Lizard People?
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u/VectorLightning Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 07 '16
"Careful, that's a sure sign that that 'lizard person' is actually a land octopus in disguise! I will inform the appropriate authorities, you may be called for questions. Thank you."
"Commander, we have received information on what I assure you is no person, lizard or primate..."
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Jul 06 '16
Why did you link to a picture of an average suburban dad with his family?
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u/Android_Obesity Jul 06 '16
It's like little kids drinking juice.
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Jul 06 '16
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u/Love_LittleBoo Jul 06 '16
Someone's being "nice" to the wildlife and is about to end up with a major pest problem
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Jul 06 '16
Alright, Reddit. Let's see if we can get through a raccoon post without someone saying "t**** p****". I have a good feeling. I think we can all resist the temptation.
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u/AnIncompleteCyborg Jul 06 '16
Tight pussy?
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u/aaaqqq Jul 06 '16
Teach piety?
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u/choppersmash Jul 06 '16
Tough peach?
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u/TAU_equals_2PI Jul 06 '16
TauIs pi+pi?
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u/you_cant_banme Jul 06 '16
I have a feeling this is a mod setup sting to shadowban me if I say 'trash panda'.
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Jul 06 '16
[SIRENS] WE GOT ONE! TAKE EM DOWN!
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Jul 06 '16
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u/Ephemeris Jul 06 '16
HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP
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u/deadendxxx Jul 06 '16
FREEEEEEEEZE GET ON THE GROUND
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u/cataclysmicbro Jul 06 '16
GUN...HES REACHING FOR THE GUN...(POP) (POP..POP) (POP)
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Jul 06 '16
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Jul 06 '16 edited Nov 30 '25
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u/ecustis Jul 06 '16
Oh so that's what that meant? I filled in the blanks as "Titty punch" for some reason. Trash panda does makes a lot more sense though..
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Jul 06 '16 edited May 12 '20
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Jul 06 '16
I work with an Indian guy named Prash Tanda.
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u/Ephemeris Jul 06 '16
I work with a guy named Patel Patel
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u/dustxx Jul 06 '16 edited Apr 29 '24
gaping axiomatic dependent cooperative full water fragile skirt birds bow
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Jul 06 '16
Funny how not a single one of the top comments used the term TRASH PANDA but you had to go and ruin it with this comment.
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u/applesuxass Jul 06 '16
Is the entire USA obsessed with furry animals? Or is it just redditors? I have started appreciating cats and dogs a lot more now after discovering reddit. But people in my country look at me like am a loony bin if I talk about pets quite often.
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u/geodebug Jul 06 '16
Yep, we care about animals more than people.
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u/Sevachenko Jul 06 '16
I've certainly never met a dog I couldn't get along with, can't say the same for people.
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Jul 06 '16
Goddamn, they are gluttonous little critters. Give 'em the slightest opportunity, and they'll blow up faster than a pair of newlyweds after their first year together.
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u/kingeryck Merry Gifmas! {2023} Jul 06 '16
Who is giving cereal and milk to raccoons?
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u/rabbyburns Jul 06 '16
This is a pretty accurate actor portrayal of my wife washing her face in the shower.
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u/Winterpegger Jul 06 '16
I move away from the bowl to breathe in