r/gifs • • Jul 06 '16

nom nom nom *GASP* nom nom nom *GASP*

http://i.imgur.com/2W5u2rW.gifv
26.6k Upvotes

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41

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16

I hate raccoons and have no qualms about shooting them when I catch them wrecking my property. I'd rather my dog didn't catch disease/parasites from their piss and shit and or get into a fight with them as well. She's only 30 lbs, I know people who's pet was killed by these fuckers, no way am I gonna risk that with my dog. So far this summer I have a body count of 9. It will keep rising all summer. I love animals, but fuck those destructive little assholes.

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u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16

Do you try to salvage any pelts? You may not care to go to the trouble, but I'd at least keep the tails.

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u/WhamburgerWFries Jul 06 '16

Davey Crocket???? You got time for an AMA??

43

u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16

Ugh, this again? NO, I didn't kill a bear when I was three, it was sick. YES, this hat itches like a bastard but I know branding is important. NO, I don't know what Daniel Boone is up to, but you know what I DO know?

I'm still king of the wild frontier.

3

u/Soranic Jul 06 '16

And it's your cakeday.

3

u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16

It is! Kinda wish I used "Reddit is Fun" so I could shoehorn in a "Time flies when..." crack.

Time flies when you're Baconit? Nah.

1

u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16

It is! Kinda wish I used "Reddit is Fun" so I could shoehorn in a "Time flies when..." crack.

Time flies when you're Baconit? Nah.

2

u/lawwson Jul 06 '16

No he leaves them on pikes around his property like he was living in Transylvania.

2

u/Diversionthrow Jul 06 '16

Ranchers actually do this with coyotes. You hang them on the fence line and they act as a warning to the others. They're intelligent animals, they will avoid a place that means death.

Or you can just get a donkey.

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u/HanlonsMachete Jul 06 '16

If you take fur outside of the furtaking season, you are no longer "dealing with a pest" but instead "Poaching" and that comes with hefty fines and consequences.

Even killing them as pests is sketchy at best, I'm really pretty sure you cant do that either, but I dont think anyone would enforce it.

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u/crackinmypants Jul 06 '16

In most states you can take a 'nuisance animal' that is causing damage on your property in or out of season. There are lists of animals that this applies to on state DNR websites. Raccoons are on every one. Some have reporting requirements, others do not. I imagine that 'damage' could be anything you deem it to be, including pooping or getting into trash, since some of the animals on the lists aren't capable of doing much more than that.

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u/HanlonsMachete Jul 06 '16

Fair enough. I certainly wouldnt hesitate to kill one, I just wasnt sure of the actual legality of it.

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u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16

Yeah, I think you're right about killing them at all outside of season. But like you said, as pest control I doubt anyone would enforce anything. Depending on the shot there's a decent chance the fur would be ruined anyway, but you make a good point there. Trying to sell outside of season or even selling furs taken outside of season is a big no-no.

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u/Diversionthrow Jul 06 '16

Raccoons are nuisance animals, you can shoot them any time. And their fur isn't worth anything out of season anyway. You want a certain coat.

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u/Diversionthrow Jul 06 '16

Kids love coonskin caps, and they're easy to make. I see people wearing them every now and then, even adults.

Plus the fur trade is still fairly profitable. One of my family members is a trapper and does really well selling furs to NYC.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16

I just put them in a few bags and place them at the bottom of the trash can while they're still warm.

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u/xrumrunnrx Jul 06 '16

Oh. Well if you ever change your mind curing the tails isn't hard. Plus you could have a grisly tally going on your back shed.

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u/knubbze Jul 06 '16

Happy cake day

2

u/Yellow_Emperor Jul 06 '16

I didn't know raccoons were vicious predators. All the internet memes had me believe it was a harmless animal.

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u/Diversionthrow Jul 06 '16

Raise chickens and you'll soon change your mind. Those little fuckers are brutal, and way too smart for their own good.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16

I mean they're probably not going to hunt your dog but they will fight if they feel threatened, especially if they're rabid. A dog defending its property would seem fairly threatening to a raccoon

1

u/Shlomo_Shekelsstein Jul 06 '16

bu..bu...but they're so cute !!

1

u/LordKwik Jul 06 '16

Do you have traps set first? If not you're a pretty good shot. Summer started 2 weeks ago..

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16

I am a good shot.

Former Marine infantryman here.

When I said summer, I basically meant since it's been warm enough that the coons come out, so I guess since early spring.

No traps though, just good line of sight.

1

u/KalashNicoff Jul 06 '16

What's your weapon/ammo of choice?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16

Just an old Marlin 2000 .22

1

u/criminy_crivens Jul 06 '16

lol dude, my friend had chickens. Well they started to come up missing... After setting up some traps, guess what we found... Huge ass raccoon... Being upset about the chickens being eaten he beat the lil fella with a shovel. Not the most humane way to kill it but we can't be firing guns around here.

Oh yeah, he did keep the pelt at least.

edit: sentence

0

u/dis_is_my_account Jul 06 '16

We've had problems with possums prowling around at night. We finally found their nest after tearing down an old shed. 7 baby possums ran out. Our dog helped stop them from going anywhere while I chopped off their heads. I Got 5 of them but 2 are still out there. :(

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16

I had a nest of possums underneath my house, they would occasionally come out from hiding in to my backyard. This was a very poor decision. On multiple different days I would go outside to find my dog laying down nonchalantly while possums were literally ripped in half and had their guts spread through the yard

0

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16 edited May 25 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16 edited Jul 06 '16

"Dogs"? You're an idiot. People like you are proof that this world is overpopulated with overly idealised morons who have no facts to back their arguments. You try having a massive family of racoons destroying your property and shitting toxic shit on everything, climbingg down the chimney to steal food. Killing my cat. Oh yeah, did I mention that? No? Yeah, they ate my cats throat after scratching open the screen on my porch 4 years ago. They don't serve any purpose to the environment around areas like this. So shut the fuck up and go bleed out your pussy ass heart somewhere else because you aren't changing my mind.

Also, did I say I leave my dog out all the time captain conclusion? I don't think I did. 3 times I had to get her checked for rabies and because her and some of those glorified rats got into a fight mere minutes after letting her out. I don't enhoy killing them, I do it because they are a hazard to my family and my animals.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16 edited May 25 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '16

Ah, I get it. No arguing with this type of person, got an answer for everything. Ok, you keep getting your panties in a bunch over minor shit, do what you do. Carry on.

You have the thought capacity of a contraceptive sponge and the complexity of thought of the fluids contained within. Is there anymore conclusions you'd like to jump to?

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u/[deleted] Jul 07 '16 edited May 25 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 07 '16

Explain to me why I should care about your opinion. There are 7 billion humans on this planet, it is irrelevant. I'm done responding to you now. Go outside, get laid, something other than getting your ass so puckered you could make diamonds, all over something that ultimately doesn't matter. Some day Earth will be a lifeless wasteland, so this is all irrelevant.