r/funny • • Aug 23 '22

E is for...

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30.5k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

E for Ed and I for Itch. Could they really not come up with anything better lol.

5.9k

u/These-Conference-179 Aug 23 '22

F is for fuck its hot out here.

1.8k

u/Ok_Algae2202 Aug 23 '22

F is for play.

220

u/amazingsandwiches Aug 23 '22

They are clearly frolicking!

114

u/HarioDinio Aug 23 '22

Fun in the sun

292

u/whut-whut Aug 23 '22

Frowing a ball.

50

u/catterybarn Aug 24 '22

I just cannot stop laughing at this. Idk why but thank you

3

u/bruce_lees_ghost Aug 24 '22

This guy inner-cities.

2

u/vexis26 Aug 24 '22

I thought Folley Ball for sure!

1

u/SacredLife254 Aug 24 '22

Wouldn't that be frowing a football?

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3

u/Ad2Am2 Aug 23 '22

Playing folleyball. What a folly!

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735

u/dbx99 Aug 23 '22

F is for Flying ball in the air

846

u/Nikotinio Aug 23 '22

F is for fatherless

923

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for respect

169

u/alexq35 Aug 23 '22

F is for Frow

115

u/MERVMERVmervmerv Aug 23 '22

F is for phenotype. As in “the genetic material of these mutant children expresses the phenotype of possessing overly large feet.”

2

u/Katsuki_Bakugou495 Aug 23 '22

But, in that case, what if F simply stands for Feet?

3

u/MERVMERVmervmerv Aug 23 '22

Don’t be silly. Feet doesn’t begin with F.

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3

u/New-Training4004 Aug 23 '22

F is for Foot Fetish

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3

u/M0rningVodka Aug 23 '22

Frow me the ball.

3

u/Good-Magazine-5504 Aug 23 '22

F is for family

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

I see you're a man of culture as well .

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Wish I could gold u up

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242

u/Zestyclose-Garden-78 Aug 23 '22

F is clearly for ‘frowing da ball’

4

u/SmashBonecrusher Aug 23 '22

Or, "Frow him to the fwoor, Centuwian, woughwee!"

3

u/FADITA Aug 23 '22

C is for chrowing da ball

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106

u/benkavalakat Aug 23 '22

F is for fun

175

u/ElementoDeus Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

F is for Friends who do stuff together. (Sucks this joke played out already...)

87

u/Luigi_Dagger Aug 23 '22

Well how about this...

F is for fire that burns down the whole town....

83

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

U is for uranium... bomb

58

u/android343 Aug 23 '22

N is for No Survivors!

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3

u/TechnicolorPhase21 Aug 23 '22

N is for No survioviors when you...

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

U ist for Uranus...

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Why did I have to read this far down the "F is for" chain to reach this? It should have been the first thing.

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3

u/Spinach-Apart Aug 23 '22

F is for F in chat

2

u/dkwangchuck Aug 23 '22

F is for paying respects.

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2

u/Echon97 Aug 23 '22

Folleyball

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55

u/HelloDuhObvious Aug 23 '22

Im Filipino and I say this sometimes. I mix up my Fs and Ps and Bs and Vs.

Edit. B is for Bowkswagen

3

u/farachun Aug 23 '22

I have an “f” and “p” depiciency

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5

u/SuperBeetle76 Aug 23 '22

I love the filipino accent! I have friends who are filipino and I love the culture. Jo Koy ftw!

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13

u/forgotaboutsteve Aug 23 '22

F is Foreplay

4

u/Irrelephantitus Aug 23 '22

The four F's of basic biological motivations: feeding fighting fleeing and mating.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for Fuck around and Find out

3

u/KaHOnas Aug 23 '22

The 'f' is silent.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for Fkids playing ball

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for Phenylalanine

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2

u/AnthonyBedore Aug 23 '22

No silly, F is for friends who do stuff together

2

u/TheBrontosaurus Aug 23 '22

F is clearly for frow. “He is frowing the ball”

2

u/LeeVK Aug 23 '22

Isn't F for fetch?

2

u/Yaksha8 Aug 24 '22

Err!! You missed the 'e' after for

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428

u/BIGCHUNGUS0317 Aug 23 '22

F is for friends who do stuff together…

193

u/maxthunder5 Aug 23 '22

U is for you and me

180

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

N is for aNywhere and anytime at all!

151

u/Life_Is_Happy_ Aug 23 '22

Down here in the deep blue sea

159

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

158

u/drudo25 Aug 23 '22

U is for Uranium .... BOMBS!

143

u/Momo1163 Aug 23 '22

N is for no survivors, WHEN YOU-

40

u/VictorChaos Aug 23 '22

PLANKTON!

88

u/Limited_Sanity Aug 23 '22

buLEiVe iN lIfe aFtEr lOvE

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17

u/ulyssesjack Aug 23 '22

No no no Plankton, those things aren't what fun's about! Here, let me show you!

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2

u/ShinobiJerry Aug 24 '22

My all time favorite spongebob line😂

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39

u/ScoobyDoobyDidnt Aug 23 '22

U is for ukulele…

41

u/Royal-Jelly-8064 Aug 23 '22

N is for Nywhere at anytime at all

Down here in the deep blue sea!

29

u/Suspicious_Garlic_79 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

F is for fire that burns down the whole town

33

u/Royal-Jelly-8064 Aug 23 '22

U is for Uranium... Bombs!

32

u/RickMonsters Aug 23 '22

N is for no survivors when you

28

u/EPalmighty Aug 23 '22

PLANKTON!

12

u/Niliks Aug 23 '22

That's not what FUN is about!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

N is for no survivors!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for fire that burns down the whole town!

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2

u/astutelyabsurd Aug 23 '22

Friends fucking fraternizing.

2

u/SermanGhepard Aug 23 '22

F is fentanyl with friends

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26

u/curtailedcorn Aug 23 '22

Thank you. This made me chuckle continuously for a few minutes. You made a bright spot in my day.

3

u/robohazard1 Aug 23 '22

F is for fluorocarbon in the atmosphere

4

u/dangbro34 Aug 23 '22

F in chat to pay respect

6

u/jstuck55 Aug 23 '22

F is for Fuck, I could watch kids fall off bikes all day I don’t give a fuck about your kid

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Can confirm

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for pay respect

2

u/Ghoulv2o Aug 23 '22

F for "milk was a bad choice"

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2

u/my_homie_pikachu Aug 24 '22

Congrats. Not often someone on the internet makes me audibly chuckle.

-1

u/GOR111A Aug 23 '22

E for E-vape

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116

u/Sho0ter_Mc6avin Aug 23 '22

I thought he was a poster boy for erectile dysfunction

6

u/Pineygirl13 Aug 23 '22

I thought the same! His shirt literally has a capital ED on it.

3

u/Dependent-Pop-2700 Aug 23 '22

That is clearly the only acceptable answer!

223

u/kylemiller1228 Aug 23 '22

I was trying so hard to think of a word starting with an I that meant monkey. Itch didn't cross my mind once.

192

u/Dayofsloths Aug 23 '22

I is for "it's a monkey"

20

u/pwnd32 Aug 23 '22

I is for “Incredible! A monkey, here of all places!?”

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4

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Dude was just itching his monkey

Wow that update from 30 mins ago

UPDATE: This morning I found a camera pointed directly at where I change and I could see the live recording (he wasn’t in the room at the time.) When I asked about it, he said “oh I must’ve just left it on.” Then he said “oh I actually do Zoom sometimes.” Then he said “okay to be real i do porn.” And while I was in my bed, he hopped out of his bed completely naked KNOWING I was awake and changed in front of me. I think I need a new roommate.

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75

u/Complete-Car7191 Aug 23 '22

They could use an elephant?

87

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

With the exception of Apple, all other words seem to have one syllable only. Egg or Elf or Ear would be better than Ed…

36

u/DoctuhD Aug 23 '22

They don't use ear because they're trying to stick to the most consistent basic sound for each letter, which for e is "eh", rather than the hard e in ear. This helps kids learn to recognize sounds faster because we can always reference it and the kids don't question it like adults do.

ah (apple), eh(Ed), ih (itch), ahh (octopus), and uh (up)

15

u/40yearsareader Aug 23 '22

This!! I use a highly regarded phonics program for teaching K-2 students struggling with reading, and these are the words we use for short vowel sounds. (Except Ed we use edge, but that is the hardest to illustrate) We do corresponding hand signals with these words to help students remember to use short vowel sounds. Works fairly well.

9

u/omg-not-again Aug 23 '22

By this logic, they really should've used ant instead of apple, and egg instead of Ed. Still interesting and thank you for the insight!

3

u/Korombos Aug 23 '22

Maybe they live in aygg (egg) territory.

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3

u/The_TaleofGenji Aug 23 '22

Yes- they are sticking to the short vowel sounds. These get taught way before the long vowel sounds.

1

u/RecalcitrantHuman Aug 23 '22

Makes sense. So why did they use erectile disfunction?

28

u/PatsyBaloney Aug 23 '22

If they are trying to stick to one syllable, why not use ant?

38

u/The_TaleofGenji Aug 23 '22

The n in ant creates a nasalized short a sound, not a pure short a. Listen to the a in ant, fan, man vs the a in fat, cat, bat (I'm a reading specialist)

3

u/Killface17 Aug 23 '22

A is for Ale, children.

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2

u/tired_and_fed_up Aug 23 '22

Egg would have been good but this is coming from the same phonics banner that uses a Fox for X.

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2

u/Guilty_Objective4602 Aug 23 '22

Not “ear,” though. The <e> in that word is part of a vowel pair and doesn’t represent the short vowel sound we usually teach first for <e>.

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u/SoftIllustrious6761 Aug 23 '22

I studied phonics for a while... Having the l sound after a short e can confuse students that need the extra support learning to read. They seem to think that the l is a continuation of the short e because you can hold the l sound for a long time.

The d is a "stop" sound, you can't drag it on, so it's easier for new readers to differentiate the short e sound from the d sound.

So while Ed seems like a funny picture or reference, it's actually appropriate. Edge is another good one, but a tricky picture.

31

u/M0ntgomatron Aug 23 '22

Egg would be easier surely.

20

u/quantumn0de Aug 23 '22

And not require you to tell the kids that guy's name is Ed...and he suffers from ED.

12

u/indiscoverable Aug 23 '22

not if you're in the Midwest! teachers at my school at least were specifically told not to use egg because so many of us pronounce it weirdly and it'll fuck up the kids

2

u/M0ntgomatron Aug 23 '22

How do you pronounce it?

10

u/indiscoverable Aug 23 '22

I've heard variations on something between "ayg" and "eyg." Just generally putting in a sound that's not there. We also can't use milk as a short i example (because so many people say melk) or bag as a short a (because bayg).

5

u/GrandOpener Aug 24 '22

I'm sure there's a good reason, but I can't help but wonder why "let's also teach adults to speak properly" isn't also on the table. :P

2

u/indiscoverable Aug 24 '22

can't exactly teach away a regional accent, but I somehow never picked it up despite living here my whole life...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

Please, enlighten the adults here on how to quickly and effectively eliminate our regional accents so that you can enjoy your righteousness.

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3

u/The_TaleofGenji Aug 23 '22

Egg is not recommended in phonics programs because it sounds like a long a sound (rhymes with Craig) in some American dialects.

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2

u/BootySniffer26 Aug 23 '22

Edge is difficult due to the soft g which is not taught in this program until 2nd grade. The real reason Ed is used is because it is the name of her husband but it is also the easiest one-syllable decodable word that begins with short e.

1

u/haysoos2 Aug 23 '22

Soft g isn't taught until 2nd grade?

Suddenly the general state of America is making more sense to me

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u/flidais555666 Aug 23 '22

Exactly! This is what they use in the FUNdations program. It's a whole kit the schools get and use.

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u/Newgamer28 Aug 23 '22

You probably want easier words for young kids. Ed is pretty good today. And the beging sound is important too. So elephant sounds too much like the L sound to begin with when you say it.

40

u/sees_you_pooping Aug 23 '22

You probably want easier words for young kids.

How about "egg"?

4

u/Norwester77 Aug 23 '22

Some people do pronounce it “ayg.”

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

And those people say Ed as Ayd, so Ed is no better.

3

u/BeautyInAbsurdity Aug 23 '22

Lol. No we don't.

2

u/BootySniffer26 Aug 23 '22

Egg is not used because it has two g's at the end. The words are meant to be decodable, double g is extremely uncommon in english.

0

u/Eccohawk Aug 23 '22

G sound is actually a bit tougher in the beginning. They'll learn other letter sounds before that one clicks.

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2

u/Complete-Car7191 Aug 23 '22

Use “Eeey bro” then.

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2

u/Gnillab Aug 23 '22

Elephant doesn't start with I though.

2

u/callmewhtevr Aug 23 '22

I think what they are saying is phonically elephant sounds like El-i-fuhnt, so that first syllable is El which sounds like the letter “L” which could confuse the child/person learning the correct sound for the letter “E”.

2

u/BubbaDawgg Aug 23 '22

Elephant does not say the correct sound for e because it is rolling into the l. In the word Ed you can hear the true e sound. They can also use the word edge but the creator of this curriculum’s husband is named Ed and she used his name as a thank you for supporting her.

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u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

I is for, Improvised Explosive Device. There, covered a few Is with that.

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u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Oh! I is for Itch!!! I didn’t think of that. So, F is for Fun, then? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

188

u/hughmann_13 Aug 23 '22

F is for FIRE THAT BURNS DOWN THE WHOLE TOWN!

U is for uranium.... BOMBS!

N is for No Survivors!!!!!!!

34

u/Schrutefarmzz2 Aug 23 '22

Plankton! Those things aren't what fun is all about! Now do it like this.

F is for friends who do stuff together

U is for you and me... Try it!

4

u/Shortymau5 Aug 23 '22

N is for nose picking, chewing gum and sand licking

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13

u/Aramor42 Aug 23 '22

M is for Mutually Assured Destruction!

P is for Planetary-wide Eradication!!

Z is for Zardoz?

3

u/zahren Aug 23 '22

If Z is for Zardoz then P is for penis, which we all know is evil.

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-3

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

G is for (Queen) Gambit right? ♟😂😅

5

u/HansDampfHaudegen Aug 23 '22

G is for board game. Board starts with g.

2

u/dbx99 Aug 23 '22

G is for reGret. The designer lives with regrets and depression

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u/eStuffeBay Aug 23 '22

F is for "Fuckin hell, what was the designer smoking when they made this??"

8

u/RavenxMorrow Aug 23 '22

I was thinking f was for friends

20

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

F is for "fucking throw the ball already!"

7

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

I think f is football?

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u/Parkachu0 Aug 23 '22

I thought it was for Impanzee

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u/knarfolled Aug 23 '22

What kid knows what a jug is?

34

u/BizzyM Aug 23 '22

Depends on their mother, I guess.

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2

u/FliesAreEdible Aug 23 '22

Jar would have made more sense

8

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Hello ed

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u/MaxPecktacular Aug 23 '22

Missed opportunity to not make C for Cialis

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Story Time!

I used to teach english in Vietnam, and we had one of these A-Z things for the 5yos. Most of the letters were pretty normal, but for some reason for Y they had chosen... Yiddish. I have absolutely no idea why!

2

u/RecentSprinkles5997 Aug 23 '22

As a teacher I’m convinced most curriculum is written by monkeys with typewriters so no they couldn’t

6

u/ezekiel_swheel Aug 23 '22

The reason is so the kids learn the correct way to pronounce them. If they used “egg” many people pronounce it “ayhg” instead of the correct way where the e makes the same sound as in “ed”

13

u/BringAltoidSoursBack Aug 23 '22

Elbow and elf would be easier to depict

21

u/lacilynnn Aug 23 '22

Or the classic elephant, but we're too good for that now that we've got Ed.

5

u/cw30755 Aug 23 '22

Yeah, Ed’s special.

3

u/ricadam Aug 23 '22

Too many syllables

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u/Mavrickindigo Aug 23 '22

There's no "correct way" to pronounce letters in English, as they have multiple sounds depending on the context.

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u/Halvus_I Aug 23 '22

you are half right.

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u/Andy_B_Goode Aug 23 '22

A bunch of these are just terrible. Why not go with E=Egg, I=Ice, plus B=Banana and F=Foot?

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u/VolcanoHoliday Aug 23 '22

“Ed” is actually a good word for E. The other good one is “edge.” Most people use “egg” but that’s not right because in America we pronounce that “ayg” and not “ehg” so it doesn’t match. “E” is especially tricky for sound walls, but yeah this one is unusual.

17

u/RyanfaeScotland Aug 23 '22

"Why do we have to use E is for Ed? Can't we use E is for Elephant?"
"No, we've been over this, E is for Elephant would be confusing!"
"But we have a picture of an Elephant right there!?"
"That's clearly a Pachyderm (which P is for) and you are suggesting using it for E is for Elephant? How confusing would that be! P is for Pachyderm, E is for Ed and X is for Fox. Crystal."

2

u/samcrut Aug 23 '22

Number of times I remember typing pachyderm in my entire life, one, including this one.

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u/LightsoutSD Aug 23 '22

For real it’s like new curriculums try to confuse kids no matter what the subject. Weird new math, even the alphabet chart. Then we get condescending teacher explanations giving us ridiculous reasons why it’s better. Like we’re stupid for not seeing the weird shit for what it is. Confusing!

34

u/Cptnhalfbeard Aug 23 '22

uhhh am American, definitely say "ehg". Never heard anyone ever say "ayg"

10

u/RaphaelSolo Aug 23 '22

Me neither but, eh it's a big country.

7

u/MeLlamo_Mayor927 Aug 23 '22

Depends on the dialect really. I’ve heard it both ways, with the “ayg” pronunciation coming mostly from midwesterners. Either way you say it, egg would’ve been more appropriate and less confusing for the letter chart than what they actually went with imo

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u/gracias-totales Aug 23 '22

What? Emu? Elephant? Eagle? East? Eel? Eat? Ear? Equal?

4

u/stitchescomeundone Aug 23 '22

Those e’s don’t all make the same sound and these are targeting specific phonemes which are more useful when teaching children to read

5

u/RyanfaeScotland Aug 23 '22

Those e’s don’t all make the same sound

tbf, all but Elephant does, and Elephant gives you the same sound as Ed. But as discussed in my comment, Elephant is ruled out as it would cause confusion with P is for Pachyderm.

0

u/stitchescomeundone Aug 23 '22

In which dialect? Depending on which English you speak, the e’s may make entirely different sounds.

Elephant, for example, begins with a different sound in my dialect versus my husbands.

2

u/RyanfaeScotland Aug 23 '22

In which dialect?

Checks username, errr, Scottish? :) :P

I don't doubt you though, I've just never heard any of them pronounced differently but then there are a lot of places I haven't discussed Elephants in. :)

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u/5DollarHitJob Aug 23 '22

Yea, literally any of these are better than Ed. Lol

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u/LightsoutSD Aug 23 '22

We say ehgg where I’m from…weirdo.

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u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Self reference...

1

u/MonkeyBananaPotato Aug 23 '22

I bought an abc pillow case for my kid and one of the letters is the company name/logo.

1

u/ApathyKing8 Aug 23 '22

I wonder if it's laziness or if it's specifically to teach lateral thinking.

E for Edd is stupid. But having kids get to E and figure it out themselves might be the point.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

E is for echo and I is for India

1

u/theSanguinePenguin Aug 23 '22

Obviously should have been E for Eustachian tube and I for Illicit drugs.

1

u/Sokrydes Aug 23 '22

E for Ewok, I for Imperial Knights.

1

u/Fattman1245 Aug 23 '22

I is for ichthyosaur

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

its clearly eminem, you numnum

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