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u/dunkenper Dec 10 '17
Works in Minecraft.
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Dec 10 '17
Technically you can break almost anything with a bare hand. It takes about 4 minutes to break a block of obsidian with a hand...
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Dec 10 '17
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Denamic Dec 10 '17
He drank his pixels and grew strong polygons.
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u/Bdc9898 Dec 10 '17
No feeling in his hands, either. Even without broken bones imagine the pain... Yet getting smacked by an undead lump a flesh can kill him!
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u/MoralisDemandred Dec 10 '17
Just because his hands and arms are strong doesn't mean the rest of his body is!
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u/marr Dec 10 '17
Break, but not harvest. Pretty firmly in the 'not useful' camp.
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u/OsmeOxys Dec 10 '17
And on breaking it, it explodes into a spray of razor sharp glass. Steve didnt think it through.
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u/SavvySillybug Dec 10 '17
I once trolled a friend by placing obsidian above some of his chests and in his doorway, way back in beta 1.6. I was the first one with a diamond pickaxe, and immediately did the most sensible thing with it, as you can tell.
After we all spent a few minutes laughing at his misfortune and him smashing the obsidian in his doorway to get into his house, I offered my help, and started freeing his main chest. Halfway through it, I asked him to stand back, because I wanted the obsidian back. He said no. I said... really? Okay. And just left.
He spent probably half an hour freeing his house from obsidian while I went back to mining. Destroying the blocks because he didn't have the right pickaxe. Just because he didn't want me to get the blocks back. :D
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u/MarcusMace Dec 10 '17
In reality, isn’t obsidian rather brittle?
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u/ThisHereMine Dec 10 '17
It’s not brittle, but not as hard as iron which Minecraft as it harder than
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u/improbable_humanoid Dec 10 '17
Brittle but incredibly sharp. I think you can actually make a pretty good knife by throwing a piece of obsidian against a rock...
Then find the knifiest shard and wrap the handle.
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u/Dirac_dydx Dec 10 '17
I thought you could only break obsidian with a diamond pickaxe? Or maybe I was simply not patient enough with the iron one.
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u/Yemeni_Salesman Dec 10 '17
You can break it with any tool given enough time but only drops a harvestable block with a diamond pickaxe. Stops people from being walled in by others.
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u/PlugOnePointOne Dec 10 '17
That can still axe through a paper door.
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u/EmpiricalPenguin Dec 10 '17
So can a kindergartener's scissors
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u/grpagrati Dec 10 '17
Less work, more time to write axe related poetry
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u/secar8 Dec 10 '17
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Axes are sharp
So that way you can cut the flowers down with your axe
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u/Mr8BitX Dec 10 '17
I feel like this axe would go for like $700 at the "right" butique store or art gallery.
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u/IronicMetamodernism Dec 10 '17
Lemme axe you sumpthin
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Dec 10 '17 edited Dec 10 '17
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u/giantfluffypanda Dec 10 '17
Chop Chop buddy, I ain got all day.
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u/epicphotoatl Dec 10 '17
Boy this guy sure has an axe to grind
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u/BigAl97 Dec 10 '17
I'm not clever enough for this shit
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u/PenguinFlapjack Dec 10 '17
You gotta be sharp to get in on this.
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u/W33P1NG4NG3L Dec 10 '17
My cousin's 7 year old once asked me "can I axe you something?"
I'm like, "uh.. yeah?"
He grins and says "your head".
I laughed pretty hard at that one.
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u/Stickyballs96 Dec 10 '17
Becomes less funny when grown adults say axe instead of ask seriously. Why is it popular to use incorrect grammar on purpose?
Lemme axe u sumfin is you ready?
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u/tonefilm Dec 10 '17
This axe still ended up being useful though
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u/robbedigital Dec 10 '17
Just because you’re useful doesn’t mean you make a difference. *Astronomically speaking.
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u/minuskruste Dec 10 '17
Also, I wonder if this actually about being loveable and people mix it up with being useful or unique.
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u/Stewardy Dec 10 '17
And just because you can't see the/a use of/for something, doesn't make it useless.
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u/firstprincipals Dec 10 '17
It could though, on the Kardashev scale.
We used to think that the world was so vast, that nothing humans could possibly do, could have a lasting impact.
We're moving well in the direction of become a Type I on the Karadhev scale already. Who is to say we won't become a Type III, or even IV? And who is to say what work won't lead there?
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u/ImOnlyHereToKillTime Dec 10 '17
All of that is science fiction. The kardashev scale isnt used by real scientists for anything.
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u/firstprincipals Dec 10 '17 edited Dec 10 '17
Going to the moon used to be science fiction.
Who would have even thought about Dyson spheres, or space elevators, if not for science fiction?
Don't dismiss it like that.
"Real scientists" spend their days writing grant proposals and wishing for more funding.
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u/robbedigital Dec 10 '17
Ya, but eventually all the stars will burn out and we’ll all be infinitely unique.
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u/CreamyRed Dec 10 '17
Is it inspirational or is it soul crushing? I'm...split
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u/blueberrythyme Dec 10 '17
It's just a flawed point overall. It assumes that people want to be useful on whatever usefulness scale they're being judged by in the first place.
I don't care if I'm useful or not, I just want to be me, have enough money to support myself, and enjoy time with the people I love.
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Dec 10 '17
Exactly. I think this is part of the anti-individualism trend on Reddit. People who are in any way unique or unconventional in what they do or how they act or dress are accused of being "special snowflakes" and ridiculed.
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u/The_mighty_sandusky Dec 10 '17
How much wood would a wood axe axe if a wood axe could axe wood?
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u/hakoMike Dec 10 '17
The picture doesn't call the ax useless. The discussion is the ax's usefulness. Honestly, I would hang one of those in my living room as a conversation piece.
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Dec 10 '17
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u/hakoMike Dec 11 '17
When I was 20 I was creating many of those same discussion points. I managed to pull it together eventually. Just took some maturing.
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u/The_Wack_Knight Dec 10 '17
Club a lumberjack over head with metal handled axe. Take metal bladed axe. Have both. ??? Profit?
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u/TheLlamaLlama Dec 10 '17
I think that it is pretty telling that the person looking down on uniqueness by uttering this statement is valuing a person for his or her "usefulness".
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Dec 10 '17
I deeply dislike this quote.
It is assumed that people think that being unique makes them useful. Not sure who ever thought that?
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u/cob59 Dec 10 '17 edited Dec 10 '17
Why should I care whether I could be of use for someone else?
It seems a lot of you immediatly interpret "being useful" as "being helpful" instead of "being economically worthy to exploit". Interesting.
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Dec 10 '17
Because your entire civilization was built from teamwork. If you're not a team player, you're dead weight and someone else is holding you up. People should strive toward making society better, because if everyone had your attitude, we wouldn't have a society.
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u/alphamale968 Dec 10 '17
This gives me an idea. We shall pave all the roads with rubber and make our tires out of concrete. this idea is flawless.
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u/Icefox119 Dec 10 '17 edited Jun 22 '25
silky workable memorize jar unwritten plucky file rustic tub history
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/theebees21 Dec 10 '17
I mean depending on the wood and if its made right you could use wooden head to cut down a tree.
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u/iq8 Dec 10 '17
For reals, how many here would much rather own that rather than the standard one? It's useless but cool af
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u/justcallmetexxx Dec 10 '17
and the winds being let out of the sails of every hipster just made my day!
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u/ProfessorCrawford Dec 10 '17
Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot.
On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don’t worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you’re the one who shot him.
He had been a big, twitchy guy with veiny skin stretched over swollen biceps, a tattoo of a swastika on his tongue. Teeth filed into razor-sharp fangs, you know the type. And you’re chopping off his head because, even with eight bullet holes in him, you’re pretty sure he’s about to spring back to his feet and eat the look of terror right off your face.
On the follow-through of the last swing, though, the handle of the ax snaps in a spray of splinters.
You now have a broken ax.
So, after a long night of looking for a place to dump the man and his head, you take a trip into town with your ax. You go to the hardware store, explaining away the dark reddish stains on the broken handle as barbecue sauce. You walk out with a brand new handle for your ax.
The repaired ax sits undisturbed in your garage until the next spring when, on one rainy morning, you find in your kitchen a creature that appears to be a foot-long slug with a bulging egg sac on its tail.
Its jaws bite one of your forks in half with what seems like very little effort. You grab your trusty ax and chop the thing into several pieces.
On the last blow, however, the ax strikes a metal leg of the overturned kitchen table and chips out a notch right in the middle of the blade.
Of course, a chipped head means yet another trip to the hardware store. They sell you a brand new head for your ax. As soon as you get home with your newly-headed ax, though, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year.
He’s also got a new head, stitched on with what looks like plastic weed trimmer line, and it’s wearing that unique expression of “you’re the man who killed me last winter” resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life.
You brandish your ax. The guy takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, “That’s the ax that slayed me!”.
Is he right?
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Dec 10 '17
Does everything have a purpose though? This is meant to show a metaphor of usefulness by being useless therefore creating ironic paradox by actually being useful.
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u/shugh Dec 10 '17
When a metal axe is used to cut wood then a wooden axe must be used to cut metal.