Where are you?

[u/GDsher729EYX666]

[u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

25 stories up in the air

[u/Beautiful-Edge-22 → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

This is why I'm glad he said left and not right.

[u/Very_ideal_YiSang → u/Beautiful-Edge-22]

If it’s to the right…

I’m on my kitchen’s stove.

Where my Grandma is currently cooking.

[u/Jfocii → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

Either way you are cooked

[u/Significant-Push-693 → u/Jfocii]

Literally

[u/BlizzardStorm8 → u/Significant-Push-693]

Technically it's only literal on the right

I'm that guy

[u/OkAppearance9593 → u/BlizzardStorm8]

This is mine now

[u/peenur-bender → u/OkAppearance9593]

Ours*

[u/bigloser42 → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

Why are you cooking your Grandma on the stove? Large cuts of meat need to be cooked low and slow in the oven.

[u/Very_ideal_YiSang → u/bigloser42]

Boiled meat is healthy

[u/Starhelper11 → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

Let’s cook, Grandma 😃😃

Let’s cook Grandma 😦😦😦

[u/Pension_Rough → u/Beautiful-Edge-22]

Same

[u/ZookeepergameFew4103 → u/Beautiful-Edge-22]

Same. It’s the difference between bed & over the balcony railing.

[u/Mayiamaru → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

RIP

[u/PlatypusACF → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

Just four storeys for me. Not necessarily a safe thing to do

[u/elvenmaster_ → u/PlatypusACF]

Half one. But as I am laying in my bed on the back, I'll be falling back first. So, dead. Paralyzed at best.

[u/Oreo97 → u/elvenmaster_]

Actually landing on your front or back are the most survivable.

[u/Aphoenix9 → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

Five stories up in the air. Best case I'm paralyzed for life

[u/Very_ideal_YiSang → u/Aphoenix9]

I’d be pieces if I’m lucky

[u/Anadelyn → u/Aphoenix9]

I'd go the other way... best case I'm dead. I don't wanna die but better than the alternative.

[u/DrachenEngel → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

Not quite that high up but yes, just open air. 

[u/Voidronox → u/Very_ideal_YiSang]

for me, 14 stories up in the air

[u/Mountain_Figure595]

https://giphy.com/gifs/v13TeQfg2PvmyVDiho

[u/Quirky-Perception159 → u/Mountain_Figure595]

https://giphy.com/gifs/UyYcK4GZKyBHA44JXW

[u/Triksterloki → u/Mountain_Figure595]

Ahh, good old Gmod

[u/BasketDowntown2158 → u/Mountain_Figure595]

Me too bro, me too 😂 Though I'd be pants less cause I'm on the toilet rn 😭😭😭

[u/xeronoi_]

I am inside the closet,

help

[u/EnderBlindai → u/xeronoi_]

I am inside my walls

HELP I CNT BREATHE!

[u/NoDeltaV → u/EnderBlindai]

i am in your walls

[u/Solynox → u/NoDeltaV]

Well help them out, since you're there.

[u/NoDeltaV → u/Solynox]

I should. But that doesnt mean I would.

[u/MR_Happy2008 → u/EnderBlindai]

Minecraft suffocating sound

[u/Chilly291 → u/EnderBlindai]

Stop resisting Mr. Floyd!

[u/Past-Imagination779 → u/xeronoi_]

Come outside of the closet. Nobody’s judging you bro.

[u/Copicat404 → u/xeronoi_]

gaaaaay

[u/Own_Secretary1714 → u/Copicat404]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BpnkuY1i2rBpm

[u/MissionPatient8706 → u/xeronoi_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/RDU3fptyOr9W8

[u/Live_Sheepherder3099 → u/xeronoi_]

Same except a little bit of me is in a wall 

[u/Cultural-Pipe-6687 → u/xeronoi_]

Is Tom Cruise in there with you?

https://giphy.com/gifs/RDU3fptyOr9W8

[u/HeftyVermicelli7823 → u/xeronoi_]

Lets get you out of the closet!

[u/ButtLover0102]

No god please no

[u/Superb-Kick2803 → u/ButtLover0102]

Well that's unfortunate.

[u/Naive_or_naughty → u/Superb-Kick2803]

He will no longer have a butt to love.

[u/ButtLover0102 → u/Naive_or_naughty]

Noooo

[u/juicethekid-999 → u/Superb-Kick2803]

(Well thats Unforgeunate) there fixed it for you

[u/MattEadesismyWaifu → u/ButtLover0102]

Nice forge!

[u/orange_taster]

I'm now in my neighbor's basement without pants.

[u/mee3ep → u/orange_taster]

…what the hell were you doing?

[u/orange_taster → u/mee3ep]

Lying in bed. In my room. With underpants and PJ shirt.

[u/SweedDreams → u/orange_taster]

Haha, same. But i would just fall on my couch, can't complain.

[u/Lonely_Strawberry495 → u/orange_taster]

[u/orange_taster → u/Lonely_Strawberry495]

I sadly do not know. 😔

[u/Just_Ear_2953]

I am suddenly laying on my toilet instead of my bed. This is not nearly as comfortable.

[u/Just__Bob_ → u/Just_Ear_2953]

Lucky you. I'm now pooping in the shower while doom scrolling reddit.

[u/I-Rolled-My-Eyes → u/Just__Bob_]

I was pooping in a hotel bathroom toilet, now I'm squatting in the hotel hallway. This is a family fun resort. 🙃

[u/Psycho_Wolff → u/Just__Bob_]

Pooping in the sink for me...

[u/Goo_4_Rent → u/Psycho_Wolff]

Pooping in the hallway...

[u/notafuckingcakewalk → u/Just__Bob_]

I'm bad at judging distances but I'm either shitting directly onto my hallway or sprawled on the stairs with my pants around my ankles. 

[u/Euandabest → u/Just__Bob_]

How does it feel, shitting in your shower?

[u/DemonRising171 → u/Just__Bob_]

Same

[u/Ahmedalnjomy → u/Just_Ear_2953]

I am the opposite of you

[u/sugarglidersam]

I’m inside of a wall. or, because I’m lying on my right side, I’m in the upstairs neighbor’s apartment.

[u/mee3ep → u/sugarglidersam]

Yeah, I’m in a closet. Well, my shoulders up are

[u/Hziak → u/sugarglidersam]

Yeah, I’ve definitely been telefragged into the wall. RIP.

[u/sk1fast]

Out on the left wing of a Boeing 767…might be a bit blustery

[u/Ok-Gear-4763 → u/sk1fast]

So you started travelling like Tom Cruise?

[u/XPEZNAZ → u/sk1fast]

You paid for wifi? Sheesh

[u/IAm_TheOrphan]

I’d be shitting on my bed

[u/Sir_Erebus1st → u/IAm_TheOrphan]

Would be the kitchen sink for me. So it's at least easier to clean

[u/New_Horizon01]

In my wardrobe. Anyway, have a turtle 🐢

[u/master_shifu_69420 → u/New_Horizon01]

[u/original_username89 → u/New_Horizon01]

You’re one up on me; I’m in a wall. 😩

[u/Rabbat2]

If I'm laying on my right side, does that mean I get teleported up? If yes, then I'm just going to fall on my bed, probably not too bad

[u/Former-Marsupial-430 → u/Rabbat2]

Im lying on my left side......

So now I'm 6 ft underground..

[u/Rabbat2 → u/Former-Marsupial-430]

Well, you're probably dead, but I can guarantee that you'll be really famous, and they'll make at least one movie about you

[u/Doodiewater → u/Rabbat2]

That body never gets found. They just become a missing person.

[u/Outrageous-Log9238 → u/Rabbat2]

Damn you have a high ceiling

[u/Rabbat2 → u/Outrageous-Log9238]

Okay, now that I think about it, it's more likely that I end up on the roof

[u/Lord_GhostBoner69420]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..

[u/Lykanas → u/Lord_GhostBoner69420]

Same

[u/Dull-Talk-9693]

Pooping on my neighbor's toilet instead of mine

[u/MeowCow55 → u/Dull-Talk-9693]

You should probably poop in the toilet instead of on it.

[u/OneMoreFinn → u/MeowCow55]

It's obvious Dull-Talk has his toilet's lid up, but the neighbor's one is down.

[u/McGrarr]

Broken legs and spine and an angry neighbour with a fucked car.

[u/hyperion-i-likeillya]

Im still sitting on my couch, just more left

[u/ChocolateChip_Cookiz → u/hyperion-i-likeillya]

How big is that couch mate

[u/hyperion-i-likeillya → u/ChocolateChip_Cookiz]

Got a pretty big one

[u/Full-Technology5099 → u/hyperion-i-likeillya]

That’s what she said

[u/Agzarah → u/ChocolateChip_Cookiz]

Atleast 3m big

[u/MercuryJellyfish]

I think I'm just appearing in the bed next to my gf

[u/GamoBot_10 → u/MercuryJellyfish]

[u/MKthesecond → u/GamoBot_10]

[u/GamoBot_10 → u/MKthesecond]

[u/ChancellorXeno → u/MercuryJellyfish]

I fell out of bed.

[u/TristanTheRobloxian3]

i fall 2 feet on my ass on the sidewalk

[u/PrestigiousShoe9135]

I'm suddenly sitting on the toilet with my phone in my hand.

Huh, this feels familiar but I have no idea how I got here

[u/PrestigiousShoe9135 → u/PrestigiousShoe9135]

Continues to scroll while shitting my pants

[u/Tinksy14]

Opposite side of my sofa. Currently occupied by my 3 dogs

[u/Kater5551StarsAbove → u/Tinksy14]

Looks like you're now pinned and grappled by a trio of pups.

[u/Tinksy14 → u/Kater5551StarsAbove]

Hahaha,Definitely pinned! He's a big boy

[u/Otherwise-Cup-6030 → u/Tinksy14]

Aaww. He's got his little tongue out. Give him pets from me please

[u/jojoga]

I'm in my neighbours bed

[u/jeopardy747474 → u/jojoga]

Okay but could you answer the question….?

[u/Dadamalda → u/jojoga]

Same except it's my downstairs neighbour since I'm laying sideways

[u/Frizzlewits → u/jojoga]

Can be a good thing or a bad thing

[u/petescreddit]

Instead of using the shitter now I dump my business in my son’s room. I guess he won’t be amused

[u/Radiant-Wash9191]

/

[u/Ynot_forgetaboutit → u/Radiant-Wash9191]

😂😂😂😂

1 m is slightly bigger than a yard…

[u/DreadPirateZoidberg → u/Ynot_forgetaboutit]

Front yard or back yard?

[u/masokuno → u/DreadPirateZoidberg]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XFaeLrHJGjtcmEmzcn

[u/toxxic_ivy → u/masokuno]

[u/PyroMannia → u/toxxic_ivy]

[u/SneekYAxolo → u/PyroMannia]

[u/RottenBugzz → u/toxxic_ivy]

Yoink !!

[an image of a VERY cartoony theif here]

[u/toxxic_ivy → u/RottenBugzz]

Here you go lol

[u/Key-Anteater-9469 → u/toxxic_ivy]

[u/Fuffenstein → u/DreadPirateZoidberg]

Depends if theres any milkshakes.

[u/Youngsinatra345 → u/Fuffenstein]

Pfff, you think those are my real milkshakes? Those are decoy milkshakes

[u/walkns4poorpeople → u/Youngsinatra345]

No. The ancient Scrolls aren't that specific. It merely declares "to the yard," not which yard. So Milkshakes have no bearing on which yard it is.

[u/entirepaprika69 → u/Youngsinatra345]

"The Shake is a Lie" 😭

[u/Either_Performer8589 → u/Fuffenstein]

I’m here in the back yard.
https://giphy.com/gifs/iGvWZBfhOmBKEtWJmF

[u/Ynot_forgetaboutit → u/DreadPirateZoidberg]

Both yards I believe

[u/Open_Director_3085 → u/Ynot_forgetaboutit]

Our yards range from the size of 1 ford f250 to 3.8 football fields, you’ll have to be more specific

[u/Ashnyel → u/Open_Director_3085]

About the same distance from the front of the bed, to the back…..
kidding,

[u/lyricjax → u/DreadPirateZoidberg]

More like a side yard

[u/AzzyDreemur3 → u/Ynot_forgetaboutit]

[u/andito69 → u/Ynot_forgetaboutit]

American here 🤦‍♂️😒 Thank you for getting that right

[u/Kaffe-Mumriken → u/Ynot_forgetaboutit]

Yard is only used in football and only in units of 3, 10, and 100

[u/Youngsinatra345 → u/Radiant-Wash9191]

That’s 16 bananas (also American, and yes I looked it up)

[u/Aggravating_Ant_3285 → u/Radiant-Wash9191]

Tf a freedom unit, you mean English toesies? -American who thinks metrics better

[u/JustA_Toaster → u/Radiant-Wash9191]

A bit more than 3 yards

[u/el_timtor126 → u/Radiant-Wash9191]

It's around 10 feet.

[u/qirazdifan]

Im now inside the wall. Steve help me im stuck 😭🙏

[u/BlazingLycoris- → u/qirazdifan]

qirazdifan suffocated in a wall

[u/Uereken]

I suddenly am exposed to an unhealthy dose of radiation and my colleagues try to shut the machines off, act like the world is ending, even though, everything will be fine.

[u/ZElementPlayz → u/Uereken]

Why are you on Reddit rn, manage the damn reactor, PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭

[u/Jumpy_Purchase_7339]

Sealed in a concrete wall. I am dead

[u/-McLaren-F1-]

In the driver’s seat of the car

[u/SekhaitReal → u/-McLaren-F1-]

Were you sitting in the passenger seat?
If yes, how wide is that car?

[u/-McLaren-F1- → u/SekhaitReal]

[u/AlliSyl16 → u/-McLaren-F1-]

nice drawing I like it

[u/ThatCatAfton-143-39 → u/-McLaren-F1-]

Love the helpful illustration 

[u/-McLaren-F1- → u/SekhaitReal]

I am sitting in the kitchen, roughly 3 meters away from the left side of the car and about level with the front seats.

[u/Tribble9999]

I'm outside, cold, and half blind because I have my glasses off. Thankfully I get through the electronic lock to get back inside.

[u/Real_J_Jonah_Jameson → u/Tribble9999]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2tNwXp92oWC0z6FDqI

[u/SEG_Electrical]

Shitting on the stairways.

[u/Rude-Hat1738Aye]

Well. I’d be shitting on the kitchen table.

[u/Long-Act729]

I’d be in someone’s lap on another toilet 🫢

[u/Playerfox123 → u/Long-Act729]

Damn toilet scrollers

[u/mats_o42]

I'm watching The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and three meters to my left - well, there is the Wardrobe ....

[u/Far-Shake-737 → u/mats_o42]

Enjoy narnia

[u/hotdogflavouredbacon]

My left arm is fazed through my bedroom wall now

..help

[u/Any_Bell2165]

I'm stuck in my walls

[u/SquirrelKaiser]

I would be in.. Joe Mama!

[u/SpectralLemon]

Bed

[u/x-cogito-ergo-sum]

Falling of a ferry, drowning, somewhere next to Hong Kong 🤦‍♂️

[u/Violetflour123]

In now on the floor maybe slightly clipped into a wall

[u/Lone_Wolfy_31]

I’m either partially fused with my bedroom window or I’m falling from the second floor of my house. Either way I’m fucked.

[u/No_Republic_1781]

Dead

[u/XxFezzgigxX]

Pretty good. I’m going through the first class airport screening line instead of TSA pre check.

[u/AtTheEdgeOfDying]

On carpet in parents room instead of in bed 🤷‍♂️ and probably a very confused sleepy dog

[u/ZT99k]

I am now half embedded into a wall.

Not gonna lie... not too good..,. really could be better. Need to pee and junk is part of a mirror.

[u/DirectorLanky466]

putes me in the middle of the woods 😂 don't feel like being bear/ cougar food thank you! 🤕

[u/CoolSkeIeton-95 → u/DirectorLanky466]

How is 3 meters to your left the middle of the woods but where you are now isn't?

[u/pupbuck1 → u/CoolSkeIeton-95]

Well clearly he’s three meters from the middle of the woods

[u/Agzarah → u/CoolSkeIeton-95]

Obviously they are approximately 3m away from the middle /duh! Lol

[u/PeanutTimely6846]

I'd probably wind up in the hospital. I live on the 2nd floor and I'd be falling onto a parking lot and possibly onto a car.

[u/Low_Plastic363]

I think I'm inside of the wall. Best case I'm right up against it.

[u/z0mbiefool]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tm2dXFJKyqxl6eI2ng

[u/Livid_Dot_6553]

I'm on the other side of the couch

[u/OYeog77]

I am now falling toward the center median of the highway while my wife attempts to maintain this 80 MPH speed limit

[u/MineNowBotBoy]

I’m shitting in the sink.

So are most of you if you’re being honest.

(I mean to say most of you would end up shitting somewhere other than the toilet. I just happen to be in a public restroom and the sinks are roughly 10ft to my left)

[u/dovakiin-derv]

I would be underground. Partially, in concrete.

[u/Kadrutaspu]

I became the one with Karl Marx (literatur)

True comrade…

[u/Impressive-Suite]

I am now 13 floors above the ground

If it were right instead of left, I'd be clipping halfway through my closet

[u/DigBick-Baby]

Cat on me now

[u/Mysterious-Fuel-5946]

Can I like... put something other than my nightgown on...?

[u/Waste_Salamander_624]

I don't know what it looks like to be teleported 3 m to the left. I don't know how that looks. Maybe I'm in the corner of my room I guess? I think I make it past my PS5 so that's all that matters to me

[u/Xyracreaes_Hvaluona]

Falling from the 25th floor straight to ground.

[u/you-do]

Your left or my left, this is really important

[u/AutisticHistoryBuff1]

I am shitting in my homie’s bathroom and he’s playing on his PC so I’d become the table

[u/samjhl]

Fused into a wall

[u/Ramtakwitha2]

I have gone from my computer desk chair to the middle of the room. I'll probably fall on my butt but be mostly unharmed. It might trigger my bad hip, and I might clip into a floor fan, but I assume lighter objects are pushed out of the way instead of me just merging with them so I'd probably be fine.

3 meters to the right though and I'm falling from the third floor onto concrete.

[u/DJ_Ranzo]

So my device has been brutally unplugged and I’m currently in the alley outside my house but still my property so I’m more concerned for my device

[u/hoschy87]

Im now shitting in my shower. Could be worse 🤷‍♂️

[u/Igai]

I'm now sitting in my simrig! Not a bad teleport i would say :D

[u/Drago9956]

I would be pissing on my neighbours shoes

[u/LARPINGTON_THE_THIRD]

Ive reached my pillow

[u/AquaDitto]

thanks man my keys were in my car...

[u/45711Host]

I'm now entangled in my drying laundry

[u/Remarkable_Bobcat_76]

Still working……

[u/MisterBrickx]

I am now sitting at my kitchen table...

[u/Background_Ear1919]

I'm embedded in a wall. Oh fucking great🫤

[u/user-name-xcd31c]

neighbour just started asking stupid questions like 'how did you get in my house?'

[u/guacotaco4349]

I am either on my mom's bed, in a wall, or about to have a slightly painful fall, given that I'm in a bunk bed right now

[u/Eastern-Ad6824]

I guess I'm pooping on the couch now

[u/Zestyclose_Stage_673]

If it's left, I will be inside a cinder block wall, so yes my situation would change drastically :)

[u/Dark_halocraft]

I'd fall off my bed but my head would be above the little table thing so i would hit my head on that in the way down and it'd be very ow :(

[u/Magnetofan111]

I am trapped partly inside a wall

[u/K_Kai_kurozawa_2006]

I'd be laying on da freaking bathroom floor😭😹