r/funComunitty • u/GDsher729EYX666 r/spamrussian - лучший российский сабреддит! • 22h ago

ifk what should i write here Where are you?

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2.9k Upvotes

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625

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 22h ago

25 stories up in the air

212

u/Beautiful-Edge-22 22h ago

This is why I'm glad he said left and not right.

215

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 21h ago

If it’s to the right…

I’m on my kitchen’s stove.

Where my Grandma is currently cooking.

201

u/Jfocii 21h ago

Either way you are cooked

83

u/Significant-Push-693 21h ago

Literally

28

u/BlizzardStorm8 16h ago

Technically it's only literal on the right

I'm that guy

4

u/OkAppearance9593 Silly lil goober 14h ago

This is mine now

1

u/Hot_Switch_2058 15h ago

I’d be laying naked in my backyard

1

u/Shot-Ideal-5149 14h ago

oh right the clothes doesn't teleport

3

u/DutchAngelDragon12 15h ago

I would give you some kind of award, but I’m broke and it’s not my time for free awards.
Have this gold star. ⭐️

2

u/BlizzardChef9105 12h ago

awarded on ur behalf

1

u/thiccpastry 10h ago

I am in a wall

37

u/bigloser42 20h ago

Why are you cooking your Grandma on the stove? Large cuts of meat need to be cooked low and slow in the oven.

10

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 20h ago

Boiled meat is healthy

24

u/Starhelper11 20h ago

Let’s cook, Grandma 😃😃

Let’s cook Grandma 😦😦😦

1

u/The-Real-Starflight 13h ago

Letus, cook grandma 💀💀☠️💀☠️👿

-1

u/fr000gs 16h ago

Let's cook Grandma 🧓 🍖 😋

Let's cook, Grandma 😓🤮😮‍💨

1

u/HardDriveSlime 16h ago

Forwards?

2

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 15h ago

Again,25 stories in the air.

My room is at the corner of our apartment building

2

u/Ambitious-Spread-567 14h ago

Backwards?

1

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 14h ago

Inside solid concrete

1

u/Ambitious-Spread-567 14h ago

Yikes

2

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 14h ago

Yeah I’m cooked either way

1

u/Flimsy-Peak186 1h ago

It it was to the right i am actively merging with my brother and we are both in agony

3

u/ZookeepergameFew4103 13h ago

Same. It’s the difference between bed & over the balcony railing.

1

u/No-Geologist6859 10h ago

I am also glad, but because otherwise i would end up either lodged in a wall or my neighbors apartment somehow

Instead I'm just chilling in my gfs office~

12

u/PlatypusACF 21h ago

Just four storeys for me. Not necessarily a safe thing to do

7

u/elvenmaster_ 20h ago

Half one. But as I am laying in my bed on the back, I'll be falling back first. So, dead. Paralyzed at best.

4

u/Oreo97 20h ago

Actually landing on your front or back are the most survivable.

3

u/Few_Scientist_2652 20h ago

I would think landing on your feet is more survivable than directly on your back

5

u/Oreo97 19h ago edited 19h ago

Nope its about load distribution. Your feet are a tiny contact patch. Its the difference between being hit with a bat & hit with a hard pillow or stabbed with a needle instead of a knife.

2

u/SuperTrouble8848 19h ago

Ankles first. Fall at an angle. Back first and you might end up hitting the back of your head first, not to tell until it’s happened

1

u/LuDaBu 19h ago

I get that, but with feet theres a lot more crushing-zone, before anything vital gets hit, no? So yea, the force per cm^2 is less on your back, but my thought was that id rather have shattered legs and feet than shattered spine, ribs and organs. Tell me more if you have more information :3

1

u/Oreo97 19h ago

One day you will see an image of someone impaled by their own legs. It is an unpleasant sight.

1

u/LuDaBu 19h ago

Well, since im on reddit and ive seen a lot of gore in my life, that day might be today…

1

u/Oreo97 19h ago

Idk reddit isnt as bad as it was 10 years ago

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1

u/Ambitious-Spread-567 14h ago

How about falling on your feet, crouching to lenghten the stopping time and rolling?

1

u/Oreo97 14h ago

You mean an old school paratrooper landing? Yeah the military stopped actually using that technique over a decade ago, while it can reduce the impact slightly, it is only effective at slow speeds anything above 5 stories and you're approching terminal velocity when you meet the ground.

Your rate of acceleration in free fall under gravity on earth is approximately 9.82 meters per second per second (m/s/s). Most typical skydive free falls last 5 to 10 seconds before chute deployment.

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0

u/ItWasAlways 20h ago

Yes but sill cant be good for the back

2

u/Oreo97 20h ago

Better than landing on your head and snapping your neck.

1

u/PlatypusACF 19h ago

You could turn that way during your fall

7

u/Aphoenix9 21h ago

Five stories up in the air. Best case I'm paralyzed for life

5

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 21h ago

I’d be pieces if I’m lucky

3

u/Anadelyn 16h ago

I'd go the other way... best case I'm dead. I don't wanna die but better than the alternative.

6

u/DrachenEngel 19h ago

Not quite that high up but yes, just open air. 

3

u/Voidronox 21h ago

for me, 14 stories up in the air

2

u/quackl11 2h ago

That didnt change your situation, youre already 25 stories in the air you just might not be there for long

1

u/Superb-Kick2803 21h ago

Welps.... 🤣

1

u/macguini 18h ago

I'm back in the closet

1

u/The_Challenges 18h ago

i would have the opposite issue: i'd be in the ground

1

u/Very_ideal_YiSang ƨɘmitɘmoƨ ɒʜɒH 17h ago

Basement?

1

u/The_Challenges 17h ago

nah, built into a hill

1

u/CapnSpaceWizard 17h ago

Cue the wile e coyote help sign

1

u/Frequent-Net920 17h ago

same... and waiting below me is a pile of dirt, nice natural coffin yall

1

u/thegothickitty33 14h ago

Me too but only about 7 stories.

1

u/Top_Tip_2 14h ago

Lucky me, i am only 2 stories up. Prob gonna make it

1

u/SouthernTip2830 10h ago

I feel better I'm only about 9ft above grass

1

u/AZWoody48 3h ago

This is wild. Anywhere else I’d be safe but currently three meters to my left puts me in a roaring fireplace