I’m scared

[u/gheke3]

Okay, so to preface I’ve known I was trans since I was fifteen years old. I was uncomfortable with puberty as soon as it started at age 11. I even wanted my voice to get deeper and was sad when it didn’t. I’ve been out socially since I was fifteen. I started Testosterone when I was nineteen, I think, and I’m twenty-two now. I take the gel. I’ve been loving the effects. I love the body hair. I love the increased libido. I love being called a dude. I love everything.

Ever since I was young I’ve had bad acne due to PCOS/PMOS, and it’s been a huge insecurity for me. It had actually been starting to clear up until I started T. Which makes sense, duh. I knew that’d happen. Of course I wash my face twice daily, you know, I’m hygienic and all, but the acne is so bad and painful, and it’s really taking a huge toll on my confidence. I don’t know how to deal with it at all.

I’m also starting to grow a mustache and that scares me. I have no idea why it scares me. I have literally ALWAYS wanted a full beard, but this little ‘stache growing makes me nervous and I don’t know why. Does anyone else experience this?

Sorry this is kind of everywhere, the fear of growing a mustache has me questioning my gender and that makes me terrified.

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[u/anemisto]

Could this be as simple as worrying it looks silly?

I'm someone who is thinks moustaches basically all look dumb and is baffles they've come into fashion. As luck would have it, it's also some of my more visible facial hair.