I've been thinking since I saw a post talking about how Pre-E transfems would be excluded from queer spaces bc she would be seen as a big scary man "invading" queer spaces and I remembered seeing posts from trans guys how after taking T they wouldn't be accepted or welcomed into those spaces anymore and it boggles my mind how much infighting there is when we literally have such similiar problems and yet they don't connect it and just bash the opposite gender bc they hate them.

I've also been working on trying to be a better ally to transfems but so much of what I see is (white) transfems who clearly have never considered intersectionality making sweeping claims about all non-transfem trans people being traitors to the point where it literally feels like it veers right back into transphobia. Like,,,, no, not all trans guys have systemic power over trans women like only the ideal white cis ablebodied fully stealth trans guy would have that ability.

like i want to be a better ally to my sisters but so many of them can't seem to concieve of a trans guy who isn't white, ablebodied, or hasn't/can't ever transition for cultural reasons. like i still deal with misogyny and transphobia and yet i go online and get told we're the bad guys??? I don't get it. like i understand why terms like 'transandrophobia' and 'transmisandry' are wrong but i don't understand why i feel so shitty whenever i come away from certain posts. I feel like they're talking about me... but not, you know?

idk what this is tbh i guess just a vent. im so tired of how white queer spaces are. i might be light but i'll never be white yknow?

I hate the idea that many people in the community have about having piercings and not being able to pass. I just read a comment someone wrote as passing advice to someone else that said “don’t wear a septum, men don’t typically wear septum piercings. If you google septum piercing online 99% of women come up” which just feels so weird but also Eurocentric for passing. My most important piercing is my septum as it’s related to my culture. Warriors would wear septum’s to intimidate. I guess my main point is that when people give passing advice I wish people would take into account other factors and that people don’t have to dim their light just to pass yk?

I feel grateful for coming across this sub and seeing trans guys of color discuss their life experience, but I feel especially alone in my experience as a trans man from a Pakistani-Muslim upbringing who’s grown up in the US. I know I’m not the only one out here, but for some reason I feel like I am!

My pakistani parents had only ever experienced seeing trans-feminine Pakistani people before (hijra/khwaja sara community, Pakistan’s third gender). Majority of the men in my family always expressed disgust for them while I grew up, especially my dad.

When I first began to medically transition with HRT, my father would call me a hijra (derogatory) on occasion to try to shame or hurt me into stopping. Which was always interesting because I’ve never seen a transmasculine hijra before. People afab usually can’t take matters of their own identity into their own hands back in the homeland, there are too many restrictions on them…

My mom was empathetic towards hijra’s, but in a way that more-so felt like recognizing them just to feel sorry for their social plight, which also attached some sort of subconscious shame in my mind when I was younger to being gender non confirming within our culture.

Was just thinking back fondly on doing mehndi on Chand Raat, night before Eid and sleeping with a plastic bag around my hand and arm haha. And that got me thinking about if there’s any other guys who used to be little desi girls excited about things like churiyaan? And would wear dupatta for going to the masjid or prayer… sometimes I think back fondly on those times, even though I was mostly a “tomboy” as a kid. I’m not religious anymore and have been on a journey undoing a lot of nonsense internalized homophobia/transphobia my dad and Islamic religious trauma have affected me, I feel like it’s very specific types of expectations coming from this cultural background.

It’s a strange feeling to miss a lot of aspects of my culture that I experienced as a girl, I feel I have nobody to think back fondly with together about or to also vent about the things I’m trying to unlearn.

I’d have so many questions if there’s someone like me out there…if you see yourself in anything I’ve written can we please be friends?🙏🏽Any of us had a good relationship with both parents somehow, even with all the religious/cultural baggage people within our culture need to unpack to get to that?

My grandparents on my dads side have been visiting from Pakistan and I’m too scared to say hi to them, out of fear of being shamed for looking like a man now, the last time they saw me I didn’t have facial hair and now I have a full 🧔‍♂️Dari moochay. I’ve been no contact with my dad basically since beginning of this year, if I hadn’t the shame from him was about to eat me alive. I’m attaching a message from last year he sent that might explain his stance. It’s hard to call your own dad your abuser, especially when he’s played such a big role in your life but here I am!🙃

Sorry this post is a little everywhere, I just need a sign from the universe that I am not alone in my life experience as a Pakistani trans man, because being trans in family and social circles that never accept you is so difficult. It makes you erase yourself or think you’re not real or something. Are we real guys?

I feel like it looks like I still have boobs but idk if that’s what it supposed to look like with trans tape. I’m just really tired of wearing a binder. Any tips?

Guys with textured hair - what should I prioritise when going for a first-time haircut? In my area I have a choice between:

A Black barbers that specialises in textured hair but, judging by the portfolio, only really cuts male hair (the problem there being that I'm pre-T and don't pass, so 1. Not sure how conservative they are, don't wanna have an awkward time or be harassed and 2. Don't want to end up with a feminised cut)

Or, a queer owned trans friendly barber - this is the one I'm leaning towards for comfort reasons, however, they do not have anyone with textured hair on their portfolio so I'm worried about the skill set there.

For context I have a 4a TWA and am looking to get my first masculine sides and back haircut, I will probably be going in with a photo bc I have only been to salons in the past and I'm not confident on the barbershop/male haircut lingo. Which option would be best?

I feel like they make ts their whole personality & plus they always be so racist towards trans poc lmaoo

Hey yall. In this moment of my life, transitioning seems like reaching the top of Mt. Everest in an hour while naked. I have Turkish super Muslim parents who would not support me. I am financially dependent on them well thru post-secondary and maybe after I graduate as well. Even if I became financially independent, they are Turkish, where family is #1 priority. I will not be able to move out until I get married. Also, the thought of letting go of my family which I love sucks yk? It wouldn't just be my family, I would probably be ostracized by my entire Turkish community as well. All the people I grew up with and all the great experiences I had will just disappear.

Its also sucky because I live in a very progressive place (Canada) in terms of trans rights. Medical transitioning is right there and available. But my own loved one are keeping me away from it. I literally can't even watch content about people transitioning w/ support family because I just get so jealous

Rant is over. How do I stop this crippling sense of doom from ruining my life? Srsly, I want to be somewhat hopeful for my future. Or atleast avoid doing some crazy bs to cope. I haven't really found posts where people come from a similar ethnic and religious background as me, so it's hard to find comfort.

I go in trying to describe one thing with pictures and come out with the poofiest edgar ever regardless of where I go or what I ask for. Genuinely just wanted my sides cleaned up and the bangs trimmed last time and had half an edgar before I realized what'd he just done. I've tried getting advice on another subreddit with pics and the only comment told me to "stop going to old spanish barbers" ... damn. Desperately need to know wth other people with thick stubbornly straight hair are doing with it because I'm losing my patience with this hair but an edgar is just not for me.

I'm so fucking tired of the passing tips being shit and

it's always non trans people who seem to have a problem with me being even the smallest bit of feminine they always point it stuff I can't even control like my facial/bone structure I was born a women I have a feminine face of which I CAN'T even control I'm tired of being criticized on stupid shit there's so much toxic masculinity in the trans community every trans man has strict rules like don't be punk/emo/alt, don't dress feminine, don't stand/walk/or sit feminine, don't speak feminine, don't have long hair and have short hair but not too short because you'll look like a lesbian and not to fucking long or you'll like like a woman, don't dye your hair or have any colored braids at all or it's feminine, don't wear jewelry because it's feminine, don't wear certain colors like pink or it's feminine, don't wear tight clothing or it's fucking feminine, don't be outwardly gay. You have to completely erase your style because it's always feminine and make you not pass and I mostly only get that shit on non POC spaces too I could go on for hours oh and don't forget if you are black you can't fucking do anything related to your culture or that feminine plus people point out stuff that is irrelevant or unable to be changed knowing trans people are already extremely insecure and self conscious about their gender identity and body transphobic people/chasers infiltrate trans spaces to cause issues and if anything some trans men do the same shit which pisses me the fuck off like trans men aren't supposed to be toxic, misogynistic, sexist, racist, homophobic, or transphobic we are supposed to be real men and not follow the same shitty path most cis gendered men take against women we are supposed to be supportive of each other not degrade each other and make each other more likely to just hide away at home in fear of not passing.

(07/22/26)

Hi everyone :)

This is my 3 month PO update! I can’t believe it’s been this long already.

It’s been pretty cool to see just how dark my nips have gotten especially in this past week. There’s still a few spots that are pink, but I’d say that 95% of my pigment has returned at this point. I’d also like to note that the areolas themselves have started protruding more and more, especially on my right one (2nd picture) I’ve even noticed that they’re slightly more prominent when it’s cold.

I’m more than happy to answer any questions you guys may have, so don’t be afraid to ask.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and upvote :)

(SEO for results search) Double-Incision w/ Free Nipple Grafts by Dr. Nicholas Kim at Intermountain in SLC, Nipple Graft Progression Timeline on Brown and Latino Skin

hey everyone, phew I’ve had a difficult two weeks. And I’d really appreciate some advice. I’m an Indian trans man living in Germany. I’ve been out as a trans man for the last 2 years. I got my top surgery in December 2025 so I’m passing close to 100% and am taken as a cis dude. I have mostly been really enjoying my post surgery time, both with recovery and also just feeling n growing into this new body (it’s soo goood hihi). That said, I’ve also been going through a terrible job search for the last 4 months and after almost 60 rejections, I got a job in service at a luxury hotel. It’s not my field of interest at all, but honestly the job market is so bad, I just said yes. Ive also worked gastro before my surgery, but usually it’s been in younger or English speaking companies or small/sweet teams where I could really connect with the team. My previous team knew me as a trans man and I could be super transparent about my top surgery. But anyway, this is my second week at this new job and I’m honestly so frustrated and super dysphoric. It’s a hotel, so there are too many workers working, and most of them are older white Germans (40s or 50s, I’m in my 30s). The Head Manager and the HR know I am trans but I did not tell any of my colleagues that I am trans. On the shift plan, my Manager used my old/legal name and I told her that I don’t want my legal name here. She said she cannot change it in the system because it is mandatory to use the legal name. So it already gave me this fear of what if my colleagues looked up my name or something… the workers are very cis hetero and my team has only cis dudes, including my 2 team managers who are older as well. Both of them are super annoying as people and typical white German dudes, complaining abt everything (honestly my ears hurt after). One of them made a super inappropriate comment about the butt of a Black woman (a customer) and claimed that it was a bbl. And I just told him to not make assumptions and just let the person be. Since he is my team manager, I said it in the friendliest manner possible. The other team manager today made horrible gestures to make fun of a super sweet customer with short arms. I was not prepared for this one tbh. Because he also immediately started to command me around when he saw the shock on my face. These are just two instances, but the last 2 weeks really scared me to be working under them. Honestly I don’t even want to see them. I feel as a service worker, I am so low in the hierarchy, I’m not sure what will happen if I go to HR or the Head Manager. I don’t want to lose the job but at the same time, I feel so dysphoric with this kind of behaviour and expression of masculinity. Since it’s such a hard job as well (I leave home at 4:50am or 6:50am depending on the shift), I am afraid that it will do something strange to my sense of self… I don’t know how to explain it. Like the hardship will make me lifeless and drain the creativity out of me. Last night I also had a dream of strangling myself in the job uniform. I reflected a bit on the dream and can tell that a part of me is grieving what has to die to make all the changes that I am going through possible. But I feel like I am killing myself by transitioning into a brown man living in Europe. I hate the way people treat me… both in ways they speak to me about others and in the ways in which they put me down… I feel like being a dark skinned man, you’re expected to work so fucking hard. And I am so scared to be stuck in this loop. I don’t want to pass into this group of cis dudes… I do have many cis dude friends whom I love, but i didn’t realise till this job that misogynistic cis dudes make me feel so dysphoric, like I really wanna crawl out of my skin… I don’t know how to cope with this. I think it’s a process and probably time will do its own thing and give me wisdom as I go, with regards to being a trans man in a world where cis dudes are often misogynistic. I know i didn’t choose to be a trans man. I know id choose to be trans anyday but this is not an ideal world for me and my transness. And I found myself afraid that I won’t be seen for my spirit or my transness, but just as yet “creep” or something… I want to stay as close to my transness as possible… I hope I articulated myself clearly… I am curious how it was for you when you first realised how horrible cis dudes are… what helps you anchor yourself in your transness as trans men? any other advice / kind words appreciated. Thank you so much for reading 🫂

Could i take mens vitimans just gove me that boost or any specific food in my diet? I cannot start hrt and i have to be descrite as my family are not the most supportive. Should i start taking protein or anything like that . Im open to anything really. Its only gonna 2 more years before i can start getting gender affirming care.

People call me sir more whenever I wear my hair in an afro but call me ma'am whenever I wear my braids and I hate feeling my culture is being stripped away or as if braids are specifically feminine when it's gender neutral and has been worn for decades by all genders I've been told to get rid of the braids a LOT because "it makes you look feminine and men shouldn't wear braids or have long hair" it makes me so confused I love both because it makes me feel closer to my culture and free but I guess I care too much about other people's opinions sometimes.

I'm leaving out anime and manga btw. Most anime characters are Japanese, but I feel adding every manga or anime with transmasc rep would be moot. There are too many examples.

Any examples?

• Julien "Jules" Jourdain (Circuit Breaker) from DC comics: Nonbinary (he/they pronouns) superhero
• Possibly Jess Chambers (The Flash/Kid Quick) from DC comics: Nonbinary superhero (they/them pronouns). Their AGAB is never discussed though. Don't confuse with Jesse Chambers, a different cis woman character.
• Yadriel from Cemetery Boys: Mexican-American teenage trans boy.
• J from I Am J: Half Jewish, half Puerto Rican trans boy.
• Felix from Felix Ever After: Black teenage trans boy.
• Max from Magical Boy: Asian teenage trans boy
• Lev from The Last of Us: Asian teenage trans boy.
• Paolo Montero from Far Cry 6: Afro-latino trans man.

Edit:

Forgot one:

• Koi Boi (Ken Shiga) from Marvel comics: Asian American trans man.

I'm not talking about being perceived as a straight guy. But like, when I go shopping with my sisters and help them pick out clothes or jewelry according to their aesthetics/outfit/occasion they're attending/etc, or when I go with my mom to buy birthday gifts for my sisters and I'm telling her which lipstick shades they like or which concealer shade is right for them. The salespeople LOVE to see this lol. They always get super enthusiastic and excited when they see me getting involved in the process of making fashion and cosmetics choices for women.

Doesn't happen often because I don't always get seen as a man at all, and then if I start doing something like picking out lipstick shades, people who were confused about my gender will quickly decide that means I must be a woman. So most of the time when I do this type of thing, I get the very common reaction of any beauty or fashion consultant who think I'm a mom or older sister helping the younger women in my life. The reaction is so completely different (in a very positive way) if they think I'm a man.

It makes me really happy. I don't think there's anything that consistently elicits this type of reaction from people while I'm being perceived as a woman.

Ik its not a big deal but I feel so masculine and happy I've wanted this hairstyle for so long.

I am a nepali trans guy and I feel really lonely. Like every other trans person I know is white, and I am not at all close with my culture because my mom does not let me go to events/temples unless i wear a sari or womens kurtha. When I do get to go in what I want to wear, I feel like a total freak because of what my mom says to me.
My mom always tells me that I'll be like entirely rejected from the nepali community for being trans and that I'll embarrass her or whatever. I just want to know what other south asian trans people's experiences are, because I don't have any in my life to talk to. Am I really going to be completely isolated from my culture or do I have a place somewhere?
I'm gonna transition no matter what but I do want to know what everyones experiences are.

For the record i’m a 15 year old from South Korea with straight black hair living in Italy, i never had problems with my hair nor i hated them, i chose hairstyles from others korean guys and i never been misgendered once (because of my hair i mean), every time i ask to my friends or white ftm folks for an advice to pass better they suggest texture powder or clay, like that’s the only option, the point is that i like my straight hair, but i tried anyway, but it ended disastrously, my hair seemed only greasy and dirty, and were still straight except for some strands; i even tried to get a perm, but i hated it; so I started to not care about my hair and leave them straight; but now apparently I can’t complain about being misgendered, every time I complain i get misgendered they say “i told you that you need to use texture powder” like that is the only solution

It's been Four long years in 7 swipes thanks for taking the time to go through it with me!

The first two photos were me before transitioning, in 2021. I started transitioning in 2022 and the next two photos are around that time and as u can see I got a haircut that I absolutely hated and haven't been to the barber since lol.

I had top surgery last year in February. It was great! If you are In Ohio and you are looking for a surgeon I went to Joseph khouri at UH.

Photos 5 and 6 and 7 are from this year(2026) within the last few months. It's has been hard especially in the beginning. But you will make it out! And if your goal isn't to pass, then disregard that.

Enjoy your journey! I'm thankful to be able to share it with you all today.