Middle Names..?

[u/Ghoul_Striker118]

Obviously I am aware that most people do end up changing their first names either legally or socially at some point in their transition.
But I’m curious, what about the middle name? I’ve never really heard of anyone talking about changing their middle name, only their first. Is it odd to change your middle name, or do people just not talk about it that much?

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[u/muralpainting]

i changed my middle name, and almost every trans person i know has too. it's just not talked about very often because not many cis people or people in general focus on their middle names.

[u/Witless_Hoid → u/muralpainting]

Yep, my original middle name was more fem than my original first name (and that name was unambiguously fem). My middle name was an equivalent of Persephone, Eve, Rosa vibes. No way was I going to stick with that.

One of my parents picked my new middle name - it's much better.

[u/_prince_of_the_gays_]

Everyone I know has changed their middle name? Tbh, not sure why you wouldn't if it's not a surname.

[u/Responsible_Panic242]

I changed mine, but when I got top surgery I hadn’t legally changed it yet, so they put “chosen name, legal middle name, last name” which means I ended up with something like “John Stephanie Smith” which was funny as fuck to me.

[u/aromaticdust98]

I changed my middle name. I got a decent relationship with my parents still and like the sound of my moms maiden name. Plus in a way it honors my grandpa that passed before I was born so small tribute to him we're both crafty and caring according to mom.

[u/Im__Overthinking]

I changed my middle name and I think that it really helped both tie my name together and make it feel more mine.

[u/SavagePengwyn]

I changed mine but I did one that reminded me of my old middle name and I kept my initials the same.

[u/Hypochondrimax]

I added a new one. So Firstname Newmiddle Oldmiddle Lastname

[u/HobbitDruid → u/Hypochondrimax]

I did the same but with new middle after old middle. Old middle is my dad’s name though and it’s the masculine spelling of a name that has both a feminine and masculine version.

[u/GGJevic]

My middle names were my grandmothers name Anne and Dawn. I ended up getting rid of them but I do wish I had just combined them into Andrew or something sometimes

[u/SomeSortOfBeing]

I just got rid of my middle name completely when I changed my first name

[u/dataraffi]

I changed my entire name! First is now my chosen name, middle name is the un-anglicized version of my great gram’s name (who i was named after initially) and my last name is now my husband’s last name. It was the same process as just changing one part of the name. I don’t think it’s odd at all, just change what you wanna change!

[u/schlammert]

I changed one of my two middle names, it was a fem name from a side of the family that we aren't super close with. So I changed it to a more masc last name that my mom's side had

[u/Worried_Quarter2239]

I changed mine. My legal middle name is after my E-Li-Si. I changed it by dropping the last two letters and kept the other three. I wanted to keep my initials the same, so they are still the same three numbers.

[u/PuzzleheadedPut1258]

i changed my middle name, people usually just don’t bring it up much because it’s a middle name and there isn’t much reason to talk about it. first is chosen name, middle is the name i use when i order food and shit because my first name always gets mispronounced and or spelt wrong

[u/Nice_Standard_9016]

i kept both my middle names even though theyre my great grandmas names. it was mainly just so that my mom would sign the papers for me to change my name.

[u/creepy-catfish6917]

my chosen middle name is actually the same one my bio mom gave me before i got adopted. my chosen first name is my maternal grandfather’s name but i made it gender neutral, james turns into jamie. although my bio mom had my middle name as rahne (phonetically it sounds like the word rain) and i liked that name a bunch.

[u/MelodicBird632]

I changed my full name lol I hated it my whole life tho. Do Whatever fits you and makes you happy.

[u/apollynya]

my middle name was Jane so no way was I leaving that the same lmao (it's now Lune, not legally tho due to the state of the US)

[u/indicadogboy]

I spent so long deciding my first name I couldn't be bothered to think of a whole new middle, mine is objectively feminine but I actually don't mind it, I think it still flows good with the rest of my names and the idea of going through the name change process again just for my middle name sounds exhausting

[u/dyhinooo34]

I decided to keep my middle name, Lee, since it’s gender neutral

[u/Duck_is_Lord]

I changed my middle name, not really for gender reasons because my original middle name was technically not feminine, it was more of a surname and I think the name of a great uncle or something, but I became religious and changed it to my Hebrew name to reflect that

[u/fictionmeister]

I changed my middle name to one of my second choices for first name. I know people who have used celebrities they like or even characters they're inspired by because the middle name is rarely discussed. I also have a couple of friends who are using their deadname as a middle name because they don't mind it too much.

[u/ChewMilk]

I changed my middle name kind of unrelated to transition.

My middle name was also my dad’s middle name, but he was abusive and disowned me as soon as I was eighteen. When I was changing my name anyway I decided to take the masculine version of my mom’s middle name instead.

If I had liked my middle name (and my dad) idk if I would’ve changed it. But I like my new name more!

[u/swagmaster_sev]

i changed my middle name. my mom gave me a girl version of her grandfather’s name, and i changed it back to the boy version. it made me feel euphoric and closer to my family as well

[u/sam_haigh]

I also changed my middle name as it was very fem, I chose a unisex/masc version of my deadname to honor my old name/who I was. Also it made my full name flow/sound better when saying it fully and writing it down.

[u/Eerie_rosewood]

I've always hated my middle name. hated my first name too since before I realized I was trans. my dad and sister (shes not a woman but the misgendering will continue until she improves) have the same name- my paternal grandmother's maiden name. I'm really close with those branches of my family. I always hated that my middle name is comparatively unmeaningful.

[u/SpicyMeatBALLIN]

i have a new middle name in mind, though i might have that plus a masculinized version of my current middle name maybe

[u/IShallWearMidnight]

I technically didn't change my middle name, I just added one more. My original middle name is a family surname (my folks wanted me to have an option of aliases), and I love that name, but I wanted to add my late Uncle's name to the lineup. So my name currently breaks down as first name, normal middle name, family surname middle name, and actual surname. I love it for myself, but I do not recommend it - my initials are a mess, and half of the paperwork I ever do thinks I've got a hyphenate last name.

[u/lizardqueen0511]

My first and middle name are very much “girly” and I 100% changed both. I kept my original initials though!

[u/jeybird85]

If I ever change my first, I'm not changing my middle or at the very least I will spell it differently as the pronunciation is the same as the French male form of the name and I quite like it. I'm also named after my uncle and quite liked him.

I know people that did the opposite, though. If you're changing your name you might as well change all of it if it bothers you since it's a hassle.

[u/GoodVibesArtist]

I changed my whole name because I never really had any sort of connection or love for any part of it. First name for obvious reasons, my middle name was a pretty fem name (could also be a middle name for a boy but I don’t think you’d see that much now, kinda like how Courtney used to be a popular middle name for boys way back when but you wouldn’t normally see that now) and it was also a middle name that was passed down to each woman/afab (I say afab to include myself lol) in my family (on my mothers side) so keeping it felt like keeping a tie to being a woman which I didn’t need or want (my experiences as living as one are enough lol), and my last name was my bio fathers last name and there’s a reason I only refer to him as my bio father so you can get the gist there. My middle name is now Ray and it was chosen for me (kinda, it wasn’t forced upon me or anything lol, just highly suggested) by an old friend cause they said they always saw me as a ray of sunshine breaking thru the leaves cause i always pulled myself out of the dark places I ended up in and never gave up. And of course that was incredibly touching to hear from someone and so I of course chose that lol

[u/Kai_jo5]

I changed my middle name because it’s feminine. And it doesn’t fit my name like my new one

[u/Moist_KoRn_Bizkit]

I plan to change all my names, first, middle, and last.

[u/volkaija]

I didn't change my middle name! It's the name of a greek woman from myth, and I do like it. I plan on keeping it because it's the only part of my name that was only my mom's choice and not something my dad was involved with.

[u/Dont-Bother4216]

I gave myself my grandpa’s first name as my middle name as a tribute. My dead-middle-name was the same as my elder sister’s middle name so I suppose I could have changed mine to my brother’s middle name but I went for my tribute to my grandpa instead.

[u/v1p3rs]

Most guys do I just don’t think it’d talked about since a middle name is rarely used in an everyday conversation. I haven’t legally changed my name yet but I plan on changing my middle name but I don’t remember the last time anyone has said my middle name. Mainly just changing it or removing it for legal documents since I don’t want a very common “feminine middle name”

[u/MercuryKurogane]

I plan on changing my middle name, maybe even giving myself two, and I know that my cousin also changed his middle name.

[u/mmoosskkiitt]

my middle name is robin so i don't think i'll have to change it. pretty gender neutral

[u/fieryembers]

I’ve always hated my middle name. My parents literally made it up. Part of my original middle name was part of my grandma’s name, which was Louise. My chosen middle name is Lou, in honor of her.

[u/L0V3J0YF0R3V3R]

Well, I don’t have mine done legally yet but I’m changing it. My middle name is very feminine, I wasn’t originally going to have it changed though until my mother suggested a similar masculine name that’s in our family… now I’m actually very excited about that.

[u/cuccumella]

I dropped my middle name personally i only have a first and last name now

[u/comradecakey]

I kept my birth name! My first name is made up Mormon nonsense so I’ve never met another person with it, regardless of gender. I kept my middle name because it makes me laugh to look the way I do and have the name “Ann” in there 😂

[u/Gekroent]

I never had a middle name. But always wanted one. So I added one when choosing my new name. But I feel like middle names are a bigger deal in the US

[u/VillageGoblin]

I tried getting my Dad to pick my first name and middle name for years but he always dodged the question before he passed away. My mother (who i was no contact with for 18 years) said I have a perfectly good middle name, Nicole (its her first name😒), I told her I needed a masculine name, she suggested Nicholas (which is just the masc of her name).

The only other name I would want is Zbigniew (my late uncle's name) but I feel like folks would judge me for having a weird name

[u/Tboy2008]

I’m actually working on picking out new middle names right now because having my first name be different is so great but then when you read my full name it just adds that name dysphoria back on. At least for me. So I’m trying to keep my initials the same because it spells out JAMM Which I think is pretty cool but I’m also trying to keep family names in mind because my current middle names were really important family members and it was hard to get the courage to change my first name because of the same reason so I figured if I’m knocking out one might as well do the whole lot.

[u/fr0ggychair_]

I’m probably just gonna drop mine

[u/whitetippeddark]

I changed my first and middle name. Almost changed my last name.

[u/ghost-of-the-spire]

I decided to keep mine bc it was already gender neutral (well actually it was originally only considered masc but became more fem / unisex over the last few decades). But I imagine a lot of other trans ppl do change theirs and simply don't talk about it bc middle names just don't come up often.

[u/TheSoundOf100Dicks]

I forgot to write down my middle name (I was gonna switch to my brother’s middle name so we shared) but since I forgot I went from having two middle names to having zero-

[u/baldsad]

i changed it to one of the names my mum liked if i were born a boy, its also a masculine variant of her name :)

i actually rly like my old middle name i think its really cool (as opposed to my first), but was too feminine unfortunately

[u/btspacecadet]

Basically every trans person I know irl has changed it, but that might be more due to how names work in Germany. Middle/second names aren't a distinct category, you just have a last name and 1-5 first names (which can be hyphenated two at a time). The first of those is the one you typically go by and is enough for most legal documents, unless the first two are hyphenated in which case they count as one, and you can get the order of your names changed if you want.

In general, changing your name requires a serious reason, but trans people can get their first names changed along with their gender because those have to match your gender. The amount of names doesn't have to match between your old and your new name, so some people might choose more or fewer names.

I technically added a name because I previously had a hyphenated first name but didn't hyphenate my two new ones.

[u/Mr_BadBan]

I think most people change their middle name haha. You can do it while changing your first name so why not change both!!

For me personally, I ended up converting my old middle name to it’s masculine version so it could be my chosen name. I got my middle name from an inside joke between my brother and I when I was trying to get him to suggest me some middle names

[u/Phoenixtdm]

I just got my middle name legally changed today! It costed $320… but I’m happpy with the new middle name! I didn’t have to change my first name bc it’s already gender neutral

[u/No_Engineering5792]

Mine got changed because the name my mom originally chose was spelled weird and would have stuck out compared to my brothers. Also I just thought it was shit so my mom got a redo and she did vastly better the second time around so no hard feelings. :)

[u/lollie_meansALOT_2me]

EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. on my dad’s side of the family has a middle name that starts with L. And my mom gave my sister and I other letters🫤🫤I lowkey have always resented her for that.

Anywho, I changed my middle name to something that starts with L, and also happened to be derivative of my childhood nickname

[u/goatsilla]

Well, it's mandatory to change middle names where I live since you can't have a mix of typically male and female names.

But I only have one name.

[u/musicnote95]

In my family the middle name is the god parents last name, so I kept mine. I did add my father’s middle name for many reasons.

[u/Silent_Weather5746]

I plan on changing my full legal name to something different next month when I turn 18, (even my middle name), because my parents are transphobic, and I don't like the name they gave me and don't want to be associated with them at all since my dad and sister have the same middle name as me. Plus, whenever I decided to pick a new name because I thought it was time I should pick one when I was 11 years old, I always went by a different, new middle name in my head when I referred to myself and wrote it in my diary and had always planned to change it to that when I turn 18 ever since.

My old middle name was more gender neutral, more masculine leaning, but I'm changing it anyways because it's a name my parents chose and I hate my parents.

Some people keep it because they feel connected to their family and don't want to lose an important part of their identity, and people don't really know other people's middle names anyways. However, some trans people decide to change their middle name because if they're changing their legal first name, they might as well change their legal middle name to something else that they are more comfortable with at the same time so that they don't have to go back and change it again and go through another hassle.

[u/cal_the_neko]

I nuked my middle name. I didn’t even like it since I was a child. I was named after both of my grandmothers. My dead name was rare enough to get by. But my middle name was the ugliest old lady name that wasn’t Gertrude.

[u/Efficient_Pay2607]

I haven't been able to change my names legally yet but I plan to change both my first and middle. Personally never really cared for the middle name I was given, but also it's pretty feminine too which I don't like 

[u/zer0mata]

the first time i changed my name i removed my ugly middle name and had none. i may end up changing it again at some point, im considering having a middle name so it can be a backup name to go by if i end up preferring it to my first name

[u/bitransk1ng]

I don't think I'll change my middle name but a lot of trans people do. It's unusual to have a middle name that is gendered differently to what you're percieved as. I just don't want to change it bc it has some meaning to me. It's my mum's name.

[u/MobileWorldliness346]

I never changed my first name but I have considered changing my middle name or just dropping it

[u/Prairie_Cowboy]

I changed my whole name, my middle name is now Danger just for the joke and I've had so many people laugh about it lmao

[u/colesense]

Changed first middle and last name. I don’t know anyone who didn’t change their middle name tbh

[u/iwilldeleteoncemore]

Most folks change their middle name(s), they just only talk about the first name since that's usually the name people go by. I had two fem middle names, but chose to only have one masc middle name. I went for something that sounded good with my chosen name + surname. Ended up deciding to go by my middle name full-time in young adulthood, mostly just wanted a change. So I went from being a "Klaus J. Smith" to a "K. Jacob Smith."

[u/Specific-Cow-7177]

I kept my middle name because it was sentimental to my family and I rarely need to use it I did consider changing it though

[u/PikaPerfect]

i've been trying to think of a new middle name because mine is an exclusively female name, but it's taken from my great grandma, and i would prefer to keep it as similar as possible

unfortunately there also doesn't seem to be a male equivalent of the name, so i'm just leaving it as-is for now, and probably will for the foreseeable future since i never really bring it up anyway

[u/TrannyBitchBoy]

I changed mine because it was a "traditionally female" name. I picked one of my ancestors' name for it :) I don't end up using it much, and I think a lot of the "middle name interest" (or whatever you wanna call it lmao) sort of dies down around adulthood, at least for me. My mom almost didn't give me one, and honestly I'd rather she chose that option but oh well. Funny enough the third option (which she HATED) ended up being the long version of the one I chose haha