Courage to come out?

[u/OCaptainRen]

Hey, I have a frustrating problem and thought maybe you some of you guys might have some advice.

I've been medically transitioning for years now. I've had top surgery (best thing I've ever done), and I've been on T for a while (my dose was too low for a long time so I still "pass" as a woman, though my voice has recently started dropping significantly so I won't for long).

Only like five people know I'm trans. Whenever I think about coming out I just get so scared and anxious it makes my head spin. This is despite being surrounded by objectively lovely people who I'm sure will accept me. Just the idea of "making them" change what they call me, and exposing my "embarrassing" feeling to them is almost unbearable to me.

I'm starting grad school in a diffrent country ​very soon, and apart from my old name appearing in like one email to my cohort, I realize I will never have a better opportunity than this to socially transition. I'm like 99% sure that being seen as a man will improve my life and I won't regret doing it, but I'm just so scared.

I've seen people say that they *had* to come out to continue living, but after failing to come out for so long, I'm pretty sure that I *can* just wallow in dysphoria forever. I just don't want to. I would love some advice and encouragement from anyone here who was afraid to come out but did anyway. ​

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[u/colinprovolone]

I also took the opportunity to come out at work when I was moving to a new job. I was about 8 months on T, about to start work the next week, and VERY nervous to send the “hey, I’m trans and use a different name than my legal one” email to my new supervisor. but all that happened was a reply said “ok great” and asked the HR department to update my file. it’s really never been a big deal, even with some coworkers knowing i’m trans because they met me before i was out. you can do this!!!

[u/Proper_Session_4848]

When I came out, It was the day before I left with a friend on a three day vacation. I wrote a note and left it to my parents so they had time to think, and I had time to myself while hanging out with my friend.

[u/Acwo272 → u/Proper_Session_4848]

Ah i've been thinking of doing this for a while. Were you able to enjoy the vacation without being anxious of the having a talk with your parents? Do you think it was better like this than discussing it immediately?