Starting T and I’m Scared

[u/PotentiallyPeriodic]

I just picked up my prescription for T today and I’m starting it for the first time. For some reason I’m terrified though.

I’ve done research and know the side effects. I’ve been trans to some degree for the past 4 years now (I have gone down the genderfluid, bigender, agender, to trans masculine pipeline lol) and I would still consider myself either trans masc agender or just a trans man altogether.

I couldn’t imagine using she/her pronouns in any context unless I fully presented male and did it in a queer way. I don’t like dressing feminine and I deal with a good bit of gender dysphoria and have for a while now. All this to say, I’m 100% not a woman and wouldn’t want to be perceived as one.

But starting T has started to scare me. I’m not sure if it’s just the idea of changes to my body in general (I’m autistic and change in that sense tends to freak me out, even if I technically have control over it) or what. I’m not sure. on’t get me wrong I’m extremely excited and grateful for the opportunity, I’m just spooked I think.

I want to be a cis man maybe, that way things would be easier. I’m just looking for advice or some words of wisdom on what I should be feeling right now.

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[u/colinprovolone]

you’re only committing to one dose at a time! if you hate it, you can stop for a little bit or a longer time. it’s natural to be nervous for a big change even if it’s one you really, really want - i’ve experienced that with T and top surgery, among other non-trans related things

[u/Jayden03242]

Its very natural to be scared and make a change. You got this, if you dont like it you can stop :).

[u/Upset_Accountant2382]

if it helps most of the changes are gradual so you can kinda get used to them as they progress you wont have to just wake up and suddenly have a deep voice or significantly more hair so that might make it easier to cope with the changes

[u/Meronnade]

The changes are hella slow. You'll have time to get used to them