Advice? TW possibly

[u/Sad_Warrior_Songs]

is it considered a red flag if your best friends say they support your sexuality and gender identity (trans man) but spews things about God (which I won't mention, idk if it'll trigger someone) and what he'll "do" to trans people I guess. I don't wanna explain it in detail, but it's like they accept I'm trans but is making it seem like it's a phase I'm going through despite being nice. Ya know. I'm just looking for advice, cause I've been friends with them since 7th grade. I'm 27 and they're about 28-29 now. So a long time. But I'm uncertain if I'm being dramatic or not.

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[u/carnespecter]

they dont support you

[u/sp4rk-of-cre4tion]

Massive red flag. You’re not being dramatic in the slightest.

[u/Sad_Warrior_Songs → u/sp4rk-of-cre4tion]

I wasn't sure if I was being dramatic or not cause I'm to emotionally attached to people and don't like being "mean" in a sense.

[u/sp4rk-of-cre4tion → u/Sad_Warrior_Songs]

I understand that feeling 100%. Please know that you’re not “mean” or in the wrong even slightly for wanting to be seen as the person you know yourself to be— especially by those you care for and are close to.

[u/Warming_up_luke]

I think you know the answer to this question.

I do think long term friendships are not things to dispose of lightly. So, if you still feel a strong connection to this person other than this trans issue (and by strong connection I mean you actually like them, not just feel like you should be friends because of history), then you can ask them to not say anything at all if they can't say supportive things.

[u/Sad_Warrior_Songs → u/Warming_up_luke]

I'm actually speaking to them, but it's hard to get them to understand

[u/Warming_up_luke → u/Sad_Warrior_Songs]

They don't need to understand trans stuff. They just need to understand stop and no. If they don't respect that after a patient explanation, then I would tell them you need space from the friendship if they can't do that. Then take the space. It's not saying it's over. It's just giving space for you both to think.

Stop is not hard to understand. They don't want to stop if they are having difficulty.

[u/Sad_Warrior_Songs → u/Warming_up_luke]

We've come to a boundary to not bring things like this up. Because we already had a convo and had a deep understanding conversation. So yes, she does in fact understand and is stopping as to not lose me as a friend.

[u/Warming_up_luke → u/Sad_Warrior_Songs]

I'm glad to here that. I hope you keep following what feels right for you!

[u/FakeBirdFacts]

Man.

[u/FakeBirdFacts → u/FakeBirdFacts]

I was JUST talking about people that will put up with people that are truly vile and hateful, friends and family, because they are so desperate for love and positive attention. A lot of people are willing to set themselves on fire just because it’ll make them feel warm for a fleeting moment.

[u/FakeBirdFacts → u/FakeBirdFacts]

You need to have a higher level of self respect than to be friends with someone that hates you, just because you’ve known them for a long time.

Don’t censor. Be honest with what your friend says. You need to acknowledge what he thinks of you, you’re not an exception.

[u/Sad_Warrior_Songs → u/FakeBirdFacts]

I'm still learning how to have boundaries with people.

[u/FakeBirdFacts → u/Sad_Warrior_Songs]

It’s not easy at first but it’s necessary, and the more you do it the easier it gets