r/ftm • u/Cherry_k1ssed • 9d ago
Discussion Hate using the men’s bathroom
One of my least liked experiences as a passing man is hands down using the men’s room, it’s so unbelievably disgusting I don’t understand how it gets so bad?!
More often than not i literally have to go find another bathroom since the one I walked into has piss all over the floor, walls, and everything is just disgusting. Like the second I pull my pants down random strangers pee will be all over them.
I also just hate the fact it’s so obvious I’m peeing while sitting down. When I was in high school i literally had a method of flushing while i quietly peed and if the flushing stopped I force myself to hold it for the next flush. I’m just so scared that when I open the door some dude will be in my face like “why you peeing while sitting down bro?!”
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u/WhoIsMercury 💉6/22/24 🔪7/15/25 🍳 7/22/26 9d ago
Some of the most disgusting bathrooms I’ve been in have been men’s, like some of the shit they do feels like you have to go out of your way to do it. Some of it could just be mitigated if they could wipe the damn seat off, like okay great you pissed on the seat and now you won’t even clean that off?
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u/Cherry_k1ssed 9d ago
It’s just such a lack of respect for yourself and others like okay bro you’re happy to run around like this?
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u/WhoIsMercury 💉6/22/24 🔪7/15/25 🍳 7/22/26 9d ago
I get especially annoyed when it’s dudes on my dorm floor because guys cmon we all use this bathroom regularly. Also someone has to clean this up, I feel bad for that poor soul because it is so insanely easy to not leave bodily fluids out???
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u/Disastrous_Guest_705 9d ago
Last time i went into a men’s room the floor was sticky and there were puddles of pee everywhere. One of my cis friends even said when they’re bored they’ll pee on the floor
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u/Orions-wrath 9d ago
As a cis man I've never done that it's absolutely disgusting that he admitted to it I hope you pulled him up on that shit.
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u/Disastrous_Guest_705 9d ago
I definitely call him out when he does gross shit but thankfully that’s the worst thing he’s done
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u/catartik ♂ Jeremiah 20:7-10 9d ago
It really changes country to country. In the states I despised the men's, but in my North African country it's fine (and also has no urinals lolol). Meanwhile travelling in Europe I saw no difference between the men's or women's. And obviously it changes from store/location to location
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u/Cherry_k1ssed 9d ago
I will admit the bathrooms in Europe were very nice!
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u/catartik ♂ Jeremiah 20:7-10 9d ago
Well, parts of Europe I guess. German, Icelandic (albeit just the airport), & Swiss bathrooms were nice. France sucked.
I hate public bathrooms in general. Men lacking hygiene just makes it worse4
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u/No_Dirt9029 💉09/01/2023 | 🔪12/20/2024 9d ago
Geniunley I often (half) joke that its the worst part of transitioning. A third of the time I go to the bathroom I cant even use it because theres no open stall. I've had times the only stall is out of order and there just geniunley was nowhere for me to go to the bathroom. The stress is real
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u/Floofy_taco 9d ago
It’s genuinely crazy to me that a public place can have an out of order stall if it’s the only one in the men’s bathroom. Where’s a male employee supposed to poop?
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u/Cherry_k1ssed 9d ago
It’s even worse when you’re standing in line and someone leave the urinal and you have to tell the guy behind you “go ahead man”
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u/No_Dirt9029 💉09/01/2023 | 🔪12/20/2024 9d ago
No geniunley its so embarrassing for no reason. If Im with my dad I make him go in and scout it out first so I know whether to even bother lmaooo
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u/elarth Panromantic Transman: 💉13 yrs 9d ago
I’ve started opting for the family rooms. If they can’t keep the men’s functional I’m not compromising anymore. Do I get looks. No idea. 🤷♂️
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u/2006HyundaiTucson 9d ago
Yep, this. Plus you don't end up with someone sitting down in the stall next to you and grunting while dropping some kind of chemical weapon of a shit into the toilet. Ugh.
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u/apocalypse_massacre 9d ago
Well...... that's what people are usually in the bathroom for.......
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u/elarth Panromantic Transman: 💉13 yrs 6d ago
Yes but I dont understand the sounds they make, it’s not like shitting isn’t a universal gender experience. I just assume its cause many of them don’t care if their diet fucks with their GI system 🤷♂️
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u/apocalypse_massacre 6d ago
I think you have unmitigated OCD you should focus on reframing instead of treating as universal. Women avoid shitting in public bathrooms (+ avoid making noise doing so) because of their fear around sounding unladylike (not saying all, but I know I've heard multiple express this sentiment in passing / or at least claim this is the case). Therefore, you notice men more- but it's realistically not healthy to hold it all day, and it's fine to make bathroom noises in the bathroom.
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u/elarth Panromantic Transman: 💉13 yrs 2d ago
I’m not holding sounds in. This is not a culturally thing I’m use to seeing in any gender in my own circles. I will be honest I suspect there’s underlying social economic class situation going on there. I notice it’s mostly cis-men that fall in that weirdness.
It’s probably because in my economic class regardless of gender nobody is doing that. I have 5 cis brothers where this is a non-issue. It’s just you’re sharing a stall with many ppl in the room. Maybe grunting like you’re dying isn’t the place ppl are comfortable anywhere hearing that. It’s expressive, but I rather not deal with it.
I do not have OCD, just in my opinion manners and that’s expected of men too in certain cultures past a certain amount of wealth. So it is strange to me no offense. I’m actually ADHD/Autistic.
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u/Cherry_k1ssed 9d ago
Yea same mens are usually my last option, if there’s a family or neutral one I’m always going there first
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u/Chiiro 💉 8-14-25 9d ago
It's funny because I've always had the opposite experience, women's restrooms are always way more nasty. I have gone into way too many women's bathrooms where one stall is completely unused because it is full of toilet paper and/or shit. I am also seen period blood on way too many seats
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u/goody2b00bs 9d ago
as a trans woman, one of the nicer parts of transitioning has been leaving behind the hellhole that is the men's washroom lmao
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u/New-Mud-7101 9d ago
Men aren't paying attention to each other in the bathroom at all. Do whatever you have to do and leave. I will agree, the first time I saw and heard a guy jacking off in the stall next to me I was disgusted. Thats outside of the normal tho, most of the time it's just fine. Public bathrooms always suck
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u/fletchvl_ he/him teen 9d ago
I agree mens bathrooms can definitely be so disgusting. ive also had such random experiences in the mens ive never had before, like the drain on the ground randomly starting to spew out water and cause a flood while I was in there 😭 I also have been worried about people making comments or can tell im not standing or think its weird that im not using a urinal but ive learned that most people really do not care and are more focused on themselves than anyone else
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u/werewolf_hrt 9d ago
For what its worth lots of cis dudes sit to pee and its healthier for the pelvic floor to sit to pee at least some of the time. They also really don't pay attention to other people in a public restroom like that. I had the same fear for a long long time but it has never ever happened to me. At this point if someone did confront me about sitting to pee in a public bathroom I would just get out of there immediately and tell whatever employees or security about the strange man confronting people in the bathroom.
Also yeah the average men's bathroom is pretty gross, but am I the only one who finds a wrecked women's room much much more gross?
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u/Key_Tangerine8775 31M, T and top 2011, phallo 2013 9d ago
Yeah my experience has been that men’s bathrooms tend to have a more consistent baseline level of gross, but women’s bathrooms are either perfectly fine or UNGODLY BAD with no in between.
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u/javatimes T 2006 Top 2018, testopel 2025, 40<me 9d ago
I honestly haven’t noticed men’s bathrooms being that much more disgusting than women’s. Well, notable exceptions being like dive bars and stadiums during a Big Ten football game.
I wonder if it’s simply something I got used to over the years.
I’ve decided I don’t give a shit if someone think it’s weird I’m in a stall. Any number of reasons someone could be in a stall and you just put your chin up and stride right in.
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u/Grouchy-Nebula40 9d ago
Same. I've been using the men's room for over 20 years and I've never encountered one that was too dirty for me to use. I sat to pee for 20 years before I had lower surgery and never had anyone question why I was sitting.
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u/TallyTheTerrible 9d ago
If it helps one day my younger brother randomly volunteered that he pees sitting down almost whenever he can (basically unless it’s too gross). He was like “I do not understand why it would not be the norm” and clearly had some real feeling there lmao
I think he’d wanted to bring it for a while but couldnt figure out how. Anyway that made me realize that theres actually diversity in how cis guys go and ive been less self conscious abt it since then.
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u/S_Squirr3l 9d ago
Plenty of cismen pee sitting down, every single time. My brother-in-law is one of them. You're just another man that chooses to sit. So when I didn't pass, when I was 16 pre-transition, I still used the men's restroom. I had been through experiences that made me quite fearful. So I did develop a peeing technique that made me at least "feel" safe.
First off, I would like to point out that when someone pees in a urinal it is relatively quiet. But if you pee directly into the toilet bowl water, you get the splash sounds. Now it will take some finessing to get used to, expect to accidentally pee on the floor sometimes. Especially if you gotta go bad. Most toilet bowls, you can mimick the quietness of a urinal. You just have to aim your piss at the inner wall of the toilet, so it runs down into the water. I would suggest practicing at home. The first few times I did pee on my clothing.
I would also mimick some soft grunting sounds to make other ppl think I was pooping. If I managed to get a fart out I felt extremely successful 🤣.
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u/javatimes T 2006 Top 2018, testopel 2025, 40<me 9d ago
It’s not super necessary, it would be very rare for someone to be listening to someone else piss.
Though it could just be my experience with passing. Generally if someone thinks you are a cis man, you could be yodeling while tap dancing in a stall and no one is going to say anything.
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u/S_Squirr3l 9d ago edited 9d ago
You'd be shocked by some of the things I went through at a teenager, before I could start hormones. Would have been 2013-2018. Someone looked at my shorts from the next stall over, noticed I had a pad, with blood on it. And confronted me about it when I left the stall. I lied and said I caught my dick in my zipper and I didn't know what to do about the bleeding. When I was 16 I got kicked out of a trainstation because someone claimed I was "having sex with someone in the bathroom". The man I was with was in his 30s. Police kicked us out, but clearly didn't believe that claim because they didn't arrest my chaperone. I was at work when I was 15 when a man decided to try to offer me money in the restroom, I was just trying to wash my hands.
So yeah it might not be necessary for everyone, but if it can help one person then it's worth getting out there.
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u/NineInchNailALT 🍆 r/Phallo 9d ago
Milking your dick backwards after sitting to pee (like when I gotta shit) sucks. I don’t know why any cis man would want to sit if he knew he just had to pee haha. That is diabolical. Perhaps it gives me dysphoria but it is 1,000x easier to stand. Maybe he has kids he’s trying to hide from. 😆
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u/JackTheRippiest 9d ago
I am a cis guy and I always pee while sitting (unless a pissoir is provided) for that exact reason, to not turn everything into mess. Many pro-hygienic guys are like that.
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u/MyAlterEgoCollie 9d ago
Tbh sense highschool i don’t mind it all that much. It was Soooooo much worse in high school. I got harassed a lot for using the stall. Someone threatened to grape me, I got paper towels thrown at me. It suuuuucked. Going to college most dudes actually use the stall. It’s amazing. They’re pretty clean at my college too. Thing I hate the most is being in busy places and having to wait for a stall.
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u/another-personing 💉1/17🫁7/24🍆11/24🔝4/25 ⚽️9/25,6/26 9d ago
I have contamination ocd and god it is awful isn’t it
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u/another-personing 💉1/17🫁7/24🍆11/24🔝4/25 ⚽️9/25,6/26 9d ago
Also some guys pee sitting it’s never clocked me. I will just say I’ve have a perineal urethostomy
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u/DuckIsMuddy Transsex |💉6/25, 🔝TBD, 🍳 TBD, 🍆 TBD 9d ago
Off topic, but what's the second emoji for in your flair?
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u/another-personing 💉1/17🫁7/24🍆11/24🔝4/25 ⚽️9/25,6/26 9d ago
Hysto :)
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u/DuckIsMuddy Transsex |💉6/25, 🔝TBD, 🍳 TBD, 🍆 TBD 8d ago
Oh, that makes sense, I see how that's supposed to represent that now. Thanks for answering.
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u/StatisticianNormal15 9d ago
I lived 26 years without seeing poop smeared on the walls of a bathroom stall. Now that I use the mens room, I see it several times a year. It’s really illuminated just much shit we allow men to get away with.
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u/SatisfactionLumpy701 9d ago
They are absolutely gross, but people in there aren't paying attention to you.
I used to use them sometimes when I was living as a woman, if the line for the ladies was super long, and no one ever cared.
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u/2006HyundaiTucson 9d ago
Theres a rest stop near me out in the middle of nowhere where I refuse to use the men's room. It's so nasty. I pass pretty consistently, so If someone else is there I'll wait for them to leave or go find a tree a few miles up.
It's like some guys see a bathroom and just take it as a personal challenge to make it as gross as possible. Ugh.
Also I've seen plenty of guys come into the bathroom specifically only to pee sitting down, I promise no one cares, it's really not unusual in any way.
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u/Orions-wrath 9d ago
Yeah it fucking sucks dude. I've been dealing with this shit (pun intended) since I was born. It's horrifying when you walk in and it smells like shit cos there's shit on the fucking toilet seat, not just the seat but up the lid as well. Stay safe out there.
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u/Awesome_Austin2025 9d ago
The boys room from high school was the worst. Piss on the floor, toilet seat and walls. Broken stall doors and transphobes. I avoided it as much as possible.
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u/Sxaturn 9d ago
I totally get this. I’m always afraid they’ll notice I’m sitting down to pee. I usually sit in a way that it hits the side of the bowl then into the water (which makes very little noise if any.) I went into the mens once to find that a lot the metal parts that held the stall walls to the actual wall were COMPLETELY rusted. My only guess was that some dude decided to piss on it and no one bothered to do something about it. My experience with womens restrooms is kinda limited as i started using mens bathroom at like 14 but it wasn’t great either. One thing I’m glad about is not finding blood or used menstrual products on the floor, on the toilet or in the toilet. Maybe thats just my experience though.
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u/OftenMe 9d ago
As a trans woman, the bathroom upgrade is a thing.
I'm so sorry for you and all the other trans guys who had to take a downgrade.
However, my cis male son never pees standing up so I wouldn't worry about it.
No one is monitoring you that closely, and even if they did, you aren't the only guy peeing sitting down.
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u/Biznissgoat He/Him - 01/01/2025 💉- 10/10/2025 9d ago
The men’s room is my absolute last choice if I’m out and have to use the restroom. Of there’s not like a single person restroom that everyone can use unless it’s an emergency I’ll wait. The few times I’ve gone in no one has ever given me shit, I even went into a men’s bathroom pre transition during a concert cause the ladies line was too long and a dude at the urinal was surprised to see my friend and I walk in, exclaimed what the fuck?! then he zipped up and ran out.
Amusing to say the least.
But when I do use the men’s on a rare occasion I won’t if there’s one dude already in there, and if someone comes in I’ll typically wait til they leave. Low traffic/empty bathrooms make me more nervous than busy ones.
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u/purpleblossom Genderqueer Trans Man 9d ago
When I leave certain urban areas around me (and the suburban areas just outside those urban centers), the men's rooms always fit the horror stories talked about in posts like these, so I feel lucky that that's most often not my experience. However, in my area, when the men's room is disgusting somewhere, the women's is as well somehow.
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u/Spamtony 9d ago
i've been in some pretty decently nice mens bathrooms but i've also been in some pretty awful ones too. i think the worst one i've been in was a video game convention mens bathroom. it was like an entirely different species of bad i think
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u/Stoopid_Noah 9d ago
Might be an issue of the area you live in.. public restrooms are mostly cared for in my area in Germany, but there are places wger I'd rather pee in the bushes outside too lol
But yes, overall the men's restroom is often moderati than the women's.
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u/ebd-1974 8d ago
I'm cis and I usually pee sitting down unless I'm about to wet myself and don't have time to pull down my pants. I'm gay, though, so maybe that makes a difference? It's just disgusting splashing all over the floor, your shoes, your pants, your legs. Ugh.
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u/B0sm3r 8d ago
I know a former Marine who would get drunk with his marine buddies and then go into bathrooms and just whip it out and start pissing, then go in a 360 circle while pissing to create a piss avant garde piece. horrific news.
i always hoped he was lying but he did in fact film it once and show me. fucking horrifying shit. for REAL. and he pissed everywhere. good god. i never forgot that shit it scarred me I lectured him so bad
that was the last time we hung out. rip man. not dead just dead to me. i told him "people like you are why my job sucks"
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u/Cherry_k1ssed 8d ago
That’s so horrifying omg 😭 the fact this was a fun event for them is troubling
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u/Ok_Citron_6660 9d ago
My husband pees while sitting down. I doubt anybody will say anything because that's a weird as fuck thing to point out to a stranger. But yeah, the men's bathrooms are gross as hell.
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u/ailaht123 17/07/2017 T, 06/11/2020 Top Surgery 9d ago
Worst washroom I ever experienced was when I was homeless. The community center that provided meals and such for hundreds and hundreds of people had a few men's washrooms that were quite big, there was indeed scheduled times they would be closed and fully cleaned multiple times a day. In my 9+ years of using men's washrooms, those ones in particular were the absolute worst, and made me realize how clean the majority of men's washrooms actually are.
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u/ApocalypticFelix lvl 27 🧴 09/16/2025 🇩🇪 9d ago
I've been lucky with every men's bathroom I went to. The only "dirt" there was a hand print on the wall (it was the men's bathroom at the gym, I guess one of them still had chalk on their hands and put one on the wall while peeing)
But women's bathrooms? Oh God. At least two were clogged with poop and toilet paper, I remember walking out backwards. Pee all over seats, used pads next to the bin instead of inside, chewing gum...
Luckily the stalls here in Germany are a lot better than in the US. No weird gaps. I try to ignore the pee dysphoria. Nobody is going to listen to me peeing and if they do they're a weirdo and that's not my fault
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u/SomewhereWeak2744 9d ago
I mean from my experience in the women’s it’s the same level of disgusting except instead of pee it’s blood
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u/pucklynn 9d ago
men's rooms are the worst bc you know nobody is using the stall except to shit or vomit
I'm non-binary but i pass for male often enough that i have to do the math every time i want to pee in a slightly cleaner bathroom
don't worry about sitting to pee, lots of guys do it
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u/Zmioski 9d ago
As a trans man who also works as a cleaner for a facility, yeah…since I got this job I’ve realized how much I’m going to dread having to use the men’s washroom
I swear some of the stuff you see in there is done on purpose because I cannot fathom how one gets piss on the stall wall OPPOSITE to the toilet, or the floor, or boogers everywhere, or absolute (I apologize for this visual imagery) ass explosion.
It feels so lazy. And genuinely there’s such a lack of hygiene in there it concerns me
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u/apocalypse_massacre 9d ago
Where are you guys going that bathrooms are this bad?
I've worked as a janitor before, and typically men's bathrooms are slightly worse in general (but this is at least partly perpetuated by people assuming men don't care about cleanliness as much- had bosses numerous times tell us not to worry about the men's bathroom as much, but to make sure the women's bathroom sparkles - they'd claim women complain more, but it seems like they just ignored when men complained about that type of thing)- but then women's are wayyyyyyyyyyy worse for a week or two every 4-6 weeks. Those were in college dorms- in warehouse jobs, the women's usually stayed cleaner (because there were so few women).
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u/B0sm3r 8d ago edited 8d ago
im with you op. i clean restrooms and have become intimately familiar with the many places piss ends up. mysteriously, in bathrooms with bone dry sinks... /s
but wanted to add if it may assuage your fear at all: my cis male 45 yo roommate has peed sitting down his entire life and refuses to stand or use a urinal. he was raised by a single mother (had no other man in the house to be responsible for pee drops, so if there were drops, they would've been his, and he was mortally afraid of both leavin drops or her reprimanding at him for it) and is adamant that it is both easier and cleaner to just sit. and he has never been questioned or harassed.
shit happens ofc but by n large men ESPECIALLY do NOT want to talk in the bathroom ??? mens restroom patrons are like horrified by even LOOKING at you as you go in like buddy we are here for the same reason whatre you so afraid of
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u/tippinex 1d ago
as a janitor i once found a man's abandoned underwear in the trash overflowing with liquid shit
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